Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Inuyasha.
Author's Note: This chapter starts with Kikyou and Inuyasha's first meeting after she is revived. A little fluff, but serious and important to the story.
Inuyasha sat alone by the campfire. His friends were all asleep, including Kagome. Now, he could finally think. As he looked at the stars, his mind wandered back and forth, mostly settling on Kagome and Kikyou. He still couldn't believe that Kagome had chosen to save her.
I knew she would, he thought to himself. Kagome was just that kind of person. But did Kikyou call out for her help? Surely Kagome just wasn't in the right place at the right time.
"I can't imagine Kikyou calling for anyone's help," the half-demon chuckled. This type of behavior was something he had always admired about the miko. Then a thought that had been troubling him rose to the surface of his mind. "Why hasn't she come to me?"
With an almost foolish pride, Inuyasha was used to being visited by Kikyou whenever she was near and something was going on. They always seemed to find each other, or to be more exact, he always seemed to run after her. But now that things were so serious with Kagome, Inuyasha knew better than to run after Kikyou. And he knew Kikyou understood such things.
Or did she? Did the miko still care for him? It had been a long time since they had embraced. On his side, Inuyasha admitted that he felt very little passion for Kikyou anymore. It was Kagome, her reincarnation, which made him laugh. Kagome was the one he battled with and saved. It was Kagome who was alive and in the present.
But he still loved Kikyou. Inuyasha would never admit it to Kagome, but the connection he had with the older miko was still so deep, the hanyou didn't think it would ever go away. Nor did he want it to. But Inuyasha did not like the feelings he had when he saw his former love.
Guilt. How can I leave her alone again? There was a time when I promised I'd always be with her. But it's not fair to Kagome either.
Responsibility. I have to protect Kikyou. I can't let her die again.
Selfishness. If I really loved Kikyou, I wouldn't care about being alive. I would want to follow her in death.
But Inuyasha was a realistic person, and knew that Kikyou was dead, and they could never be together. And it was this rationale that enabled him to move on.
"Damn it!" Inuyasha hissed, swinging his fist into the ground. "Why does it have to be this way?" Kikyou is always in my heart; Kagome always in my head.
I can never forget Kikyou, Inuyasha admitted. If she were alive again, I probably wouldn't have cared if Kagome were here or not. And I miss fighting with her.
"Kikyou was a damn fine warrior." Was? Is.
His amber eyes watering, Inuyasha looked to the sky. He saw two objects moving towards him. They looked like ghostly paper dolls. He knew without knowing that they were Kikyou's shikigami. True to his knowledge, they bowed before him.
"Lady Kikyou is ready to see you now," one of the apparitions said softly.
"Follow us," the other intoned.
Inuyasha automatically stood. He felt as if he was almost obligated to meet Kikyou. He looked wistfully at his sleeping friends, knowing that to wake Kagome would be troublesome. She's always so jealous, he thought. "Better to do this by myself." He looked at the silently watchful shikigami. "Lead the way!"
The closer he got to Kikyou, Inuyasha's heart beat faster. He could see the shining of her Soul Catchers and smell her nostalgic scent. The silver-haired hanyou breathed it in deeply. If I could die with her one day, it would be heaven, he caught himself thinking. Then he saw her, as beautiful as ever.
Kikyou was curled up against Goshinboku, one knee against her chest. Her silky hakama pants pooled over the ground. Her head was down and her arms at her side.
She looks dead, Inuyasha thought eerily. But he had lied to himself about feeling no passion for her. Her ebony locks hung over her shoulder and down her back, her pale skin glowing in the light of dead souls. The miko looked up at him, opening her chocolate eyes.
"Inuyasha." Her voice was like silk, and made the hairs on the back of his neck rise. She wasn't gone, after all! Relief washed over him.
Kikyou stared silently at Inuyasha. She didn't know how he would feel, seeing that she still walked the earth. However, he appeared to be content. The hanyou reached his hand toward her, as if grabbing for something invisible, and the closed his fist around air.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said.
His voice reminded her of every day of her life that she was happy, and she hated herself for that. Forcing herself to focus on the subject at hand, Kikyou took a deep breath.
"Naraku has a plan," she began.
Inuyasha looked surprised. "But you're- you're okay. . ."
Kikyou waived her hand impatiently. "Thanks to Kagome, I am." She hated that, too. "You are planning on going to the underworld, are you not?"
He nodded wordlessly, still looking shocked. He must have expected some emotional display, she thought. Well, now that she knew for sure that she still loved him more than ever, it was even more so not the time to long for such things. "Take me with you," she demanded.
"Kikyou," Inuyasha whispered. "Why?"
"Naraku wants to take Kagome's eyes," Kikyou stated. At the surprised look of Inuyasha, she continued. "To see the Shikon shard. And we both know that- while Kagome's spiritual powers are growing- her powers are nowhere near the capacity of mine."
Inuyasha looked away.
"She will be easy prey for Naraku," Kikyou went on heatedly. "She must stay behind. We will go. The others should stay as well."
This angered the dog-demon. "They won't stay!" He shouted. "I would trust them all with my life! Including Kagome," he finished quietly.
Kikyou finally showed some emotion. "You'd leave me, then? Inuyasha, this is our fight."
"Kikyou, you don't understand. Everyone has a different reason for hating Naraku. It's something we all have to do together."
"Well, then, let me come with you." It took great difficulty for the miko to say this, knowing that his friends despised her, without even mentioning her reincarnation. Inuyasha seemed to sense her struggle, for he softened and sat down next her.
"Kikyou. . ." He looked as though he didn't know what to say. She turned to him, her eyes appealing for his approval, his words. Her hand clutched at her shirt, close to her heart. We have to do this together, she thought. Why couldn't she just say it?
"Kikyou, I would be honored to have your bow and arrows with us in this battle," he stated with an air of arrogance. Kikyou knew this to mean that he was having turmoil about the statement. But she would take what she could get. The miko stood, using her bow almost like a crutch, as she was still too weak to get around quickly.
"Kikyou!" Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders from behind to prevent her from falling. Her eyes fell on the warm hand that clutched her. She was still.
"Don't worry," she said shakily. "My spiritual powers have not weakened."
Using a strength that was so effortless, he turned her around to face him. "Kikyou." His silver locks brushed her face; he was so close to her. "I don't know what I feel for you. But I do know that I care for you, and if you join us in this fight against Naraku, it will help me settle some things." He went on determinedly. "I know it's hard for you, with me and Kagome. But please," he lowered his eyes. "I need you."
"Is that true?" She said slowly.
"Yes," he nodded. "I can't lose you again, ever."
"What if I choose to return to death?" The miko questioned.
"I will leave that to you," the hanyou responded levelly. "If that is what you feel like you eventually need to do. But I will not die with Naraku still in this world, and neither will you."
Kikyou felt as if her heart were melting. She collapsed into Inuyasha's strong arms. "I would die if I could not be with you," she whispered, knowing that he was closing his eyes with pain and frustration. But she couldn't help it. She loved him. And he held her like that for a long time, before lowering her to the ground and stroking her silky black hair. She longed to touch his lips with hers, but knew this was forbidden now.
"Will Kagome allow me to meet with you all?"
"I'll deal with Kagome," the cocky hanyou retorted, before standing up to leave her again.
Author's Note: Next chapter: The groups' response to Kikyou coming along, and following the river of blood. Please review!