Yep, another oneshot from me, yay. I need inspiration to write a full story again, and I need your help, please. Give me anything, a song you like, a poem, anything, please. And sorry, this is short, again. And the last quote, the note, it's from Pierce the Veil's song, Besitos.
-Mari
Phil is 16 years old and staring down a loaded gun. So young and so messed up. So fragile, so broken. His life is so painful, he thinks the only way to get rid of it, is to kill himself. He has the thoughts that so many people doesn't understand. He's so upset, that he doesn't understand that there's another way. He doesn't understand, that he can be happy again. He doesn't understand that life will never put you through more than you can handle. And he should handle the thoughts and the demons inside his head by talking. But he doesn't understand that. He knows what he's doing with the gun, but he doesn't know what he's going to miss.
Phil is 21 years old youtuber with a few funny friends on the internet. He's laughing, but only in his room in front of the computer. He's too afraid to show himself to the outside world, so he mainly stays inside, on his computer, or trying to study, as he is in the uni. Now that he's older, he's getting better and he's not that bad again. Suicide still crosses his mind sometimes, but not every day and every second, not like that, not like it did when he was younger. Now Phil has friends on the internet, that he talks to, and he's getting better. One step at a time. No more than that, or he might go back to his shell. He might panick and do something to himself. He still has the gun from the earlier years, and he stares at it every now and then.
Phil is 24 and happy. He has friends, best friend and a roommate. He's still a youtuber, 'cause he loves to make people smile on the internet, and he's making his living with it. He's best friend has helped him with his problems, depression and anti-social behavior. Now he knows how to talk to people, outside. Now he can go outside for dinner with his friends, or he can go to a vacation to another country with his friends. He's hell of a lot better than ever. He's laughing every day, he's having fun and the gun, that he kept in his cupboard, is gone now. He doesn't need it anymore.
Phil is 26 years old and he doesn't want to change a thing in his life. It's perfect. He has his own radio show on bbc 1 wit his best friend, roommate and boyfriend, Dan. He loves his boyfriend so much, and his so glad that he can spend time with him. Dan is funny and caring, and he loves Phil, just as much as Phil loves Dan. They're inseparable, they're happy. They are both youtubers and both working on the radio. They have the same friends and they like the same things. They also lend clothes to each other, and that is a thing that Phil loves. He loves to wear Dan's clothes, 'cause they smell so nice, so Dan. Phil knows that throwing away the gun was a good decision, 'cause now he has everything he ever wanted and he's happy.
Phil is 16 years old and he pulls the trigger, leaving a note behind him. 'You know the only real way to cure pain is to add a little more, because everything new distracts the old.' He doesn't know what he was going to miss.