A Closed Heart

Chapter One: Life before forks

Bella's Point of View

I've lived in Phoenix for most of my life.

I did not like to travel because I was terrified of heights. I used to spend two weeks almost every summer with my father, Charlie in Forks, Washington. My mother Renee and Charlie separated when I was nearly 2 years old; she took me to live with her in Phoenix.

She met a wonderful man named Phil, 4 years later and they were on the isle saying their vows. I was only 6 years old so I was the flower girl, frilly dresses were never my style of clothing. It just didn't suit me. I had nothing against Phil but I did not think of him as my father figure, more like an uncle.

I was 7 when Maria was born, my step sister. She was absolutely beautiful and I love her with every fibre in my body. She looked a little like me with dark ringlet hair but she had the most lovely green eyes. Being an only child for 7 years I was ecstatic that I had someone to love and look after.

Her birthday was my favourite time of year; I'd always make the cake and help with the party decorations.

It was until Maria was 3 that everything changed.

Hardly anything changes for the better.

That day I walked home from school because it was only down the road, Phil's car was in the driveway when I got there. Mum had gone to work today so Phil was suppose to be looking after Maria. I walked straight to my room and put my heavy bag down; even then teachers loved handing out lots of homework.

Wondering where Phil and Maria were I popped my head into Renee and Phil's room, there he was lying on the bed passed out from what lay in his hand I guessed. A bottle of beer in his right hand and a few on the nightstand. I sighed, I knew though mum didn't want to tell me that Phil had been drinking a lot lately from the stress of trying to get signed up on the team.

I was relieved that Maria wasn't near Phil when he was drinking, but where was she. The lounge room television was quiet so she wouldn't be in there; I headed to the kitchen to grab a drink before going to see if she was in her room.

I stopped dead on my feet, there in the corner of the floor lay Maria shaking and covered in blue. I dropped to her side and sat her up, her eyes were closed. I looked around to see what caused the blue and to my horror I saw a bottle of cleaning detergent, almost empty. Phil must've put her in her room and she got hungry and tried to find something to eat.

I was panicking as my little baby sister shook beneath me; I carried her into the lounge room and put her on the lounge while I grabbed the phone and dialled emergency. Her heart rate quickened when we got to the hospital. There I was 9 years old, all alone while my baby sister could be dying.

They took her into theatre as soon as I told them what she swallowed. I sat in the emergency waiting room; a nurse came over to me and took details of my sister and parents. What I could remember at least.

I sat there for over an hour by myself before Renee finally entered the emergency room.

"Bella!" She squealed as she suffocated me with a hug.

"I'm so sorry mum; I called the ambulance as soon as I found her." I said as tears poured out my eyes in a continuous stream.

She pulled me closer into her chest and I cried.

"It's alright honey. Have you seen Phil? I thought he would be here since he wasn't at home and his phone is switched off." Asked Mum.

As much as I wanted to spare my mum the truth I had to tell her what happened.

"I haven't seen Phil since this afternoon; he was passed out drunk on the bed." I said.

"I'll be right back." She said as she saw a male doctor come to the reception desk.

From what I could see she introduced herself and the doctor began talking to her. Her eyes leaking tears of sadness at whatever he was saying. Mum came back at sat down with me, she was still crying.

That day, was the day my beloved sister died.

Nothing was the same from that day onwards. Renee and Phil were still together but now I hated Phil and refused to go anywhere near him. It my mind it was his fault for not watching Maria. You would hope that after an accident like that it would put you off alcohol but it did the exact opposite to my parents. My mother now drinks almost every day to drown out the memory of that night. Phil is hardly ever home anymore, not that I cared that much but Renee did.

I don't socialise well with people anymore, in a matter of weeks I managed to push away my friends that I have had since I was little. I wasn't suicidal like the rumours said I was, everyone gave me my space as happy as I could be, which wasn't very much.

Here I am 8 years later and turning 17, I'm sitting on the plane, waiting for takeoff. Remembering the past helps me to lessen the fear of heights though most of the time I try not to think of it at all.

Forks is going to be an interesting journey, new people to socialise with. Most people would be ecstatic at the chance to meet new people. Not me though I still want my own space, I had become the nomad at my school in Phoenix. Renee thought it would help me if I made a fresh start, getting away from the bad memories. I wasn't sure how well the fresh start would go but I was going to make a effort at least.

Renee and Phil are moving to Florida and I to Forks to live with Charlie.

I didn't have much luggage because Forks is a lot colder then Phoenix and most of my wardrobe consisted of summer clothes. I would have to drive up to Port Angeles to get some warm clothes before school starts in two days. I carried the scrapbook I made when I was 11, full of pictures of Maria. I looked at it every night before I go to bed.

It was a 4 hour flight and I plan to sleep the whole way. I pulled out my iPod and put on The Best Day by Taylor Swift as I looked through my scrapbook.

I drifted into an uneasy sleep, dreaming of what possibilities my life in forks held.