Between Shadows
Episode IV: That Sweet Madness
Title: Between Shadows (Episode IV: That Sweet Madness)
Author: Scb047 (scb047@hotmail.com)
Summary: Xander's spin-off series, set a few years in the future in New York. Giles warns Xander that someone is after an ancient artifact that may help open a doorway to hell, forcing Xander to push aside plans he had to deal with his relationship with Faith.
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She stood before him like a dream. A vision of beauty untouched by age or scars of sorrow. He didn't know where they were, but he could hear the wind blowing all around in the darkness that surrounded them. His heartbeat was racing. The smell of wet grass and the ocean. The breeze on his skin. Her golden hair floating gently. She walked toward him, a soft smile on her lips. He was frozen, lost in her green eyes, overwhelmed by their beauty and the growing fear that was making his knee shake from under him. He had thought this a dream, but it was all too real. He closed his eyes as she reached out and caressed his face. Her touch, just like he remembered. The smell of lilies filled his nostrils, she always did smell like lilies. It was way too real to be a dream.
"Buffy," he said opening his eyes to her soft smile only inches from his face. "What's going on?"
"Not happy to see me?" her voice was velvet.
"No, just surprised… with you not supposed to be alive and all." He looked around, scanning the eerie darkness theatrically. "This isn't a dream, is it?"
"Almost," said Buffy as she pulled Xander into a soft passionate kiss. Too real. Much too real. As the kiss broke, her right hand slid down from his shoulder until it rested on his heart. "I'm still with you… we're still with you." There was sadness in her voice.
"Buffy, I haven't stop…" said Xander, a lump in his throat, tears starting to form, as he abandoned himself to whatever this was. He was silenced by her index finger pressed gently against his mouth.
"I have to tell you something. I'm here because you're in danger. You have a weakness, and it might cost you your life." As she spoke Xander cupped her hand between his. A long moment passed before he allowed himself to speak
"Are you gonna make me ask what it is?"
"C'mon Buffster," he said nervously, tears sliding down his face. "I thought we had a deal. If one of us came back as a ghost, we weren't going to do the wacky vague thing. 'Be direct. Be clear.' Remember? We spitshook on it." Buffy laughed. He had forgotten how beautiful she looked when she did.
"Now you know how I felt. You're the one with the crazy dreams. You're the one with the burden and the responsibilities," she said pointing at Xander's medallion. As she did, Xander noticed something in the air, a familiar vulguar smell that didn't seem to fit. "You're the hero now… but a spitshake's a spitshake so I guess I should tell you. Xander… your path is empty and that makes you more dangerous than you can even im..." Suddenly and with horror, Xander realized what it was he smelled, sulfur. Buffy grunted as a blade abruptly protruded from her abdomen. She convulsed, blood slipping from her mouth, her body arching backwards.
The universe fell apart, as if a nightmare had came crashing down on it. As if someone had lifted the curtain of darkness and revealed the world of horrors that surrounded them. A wave of scorching heat came over Xander, as did the realization he stood once more in the Fields of Blood. He looked away from Buffy's dread-filled eyes only for a second, taking in the sight of the two armies surrounding him. The blade retreated into the wound and Xander managed to catch Buffy as she fell to her knees. He held her lifeless body in his arms, looking up to a towering Asmodeus, standing with the bloody sword in his hands. Asmodeus' skull was contorted into a sickening smile, fire flaming from his left eye socket. There was a clamor in the background, the war chant of the army to his right, "Karoosh! Karoosh!". This time there was no shadowy figure riding before them.
"Betrayal is the sweetest of all emotions, don't you think Xander?"
Pain. Searing pain. The flaming whip licked his skin once more. He tried not to cringe, not to say a word, and it wasn't quite as hard as it once had been. The shackles were dug deep onto Xander's wrists. His feet dangled over the pit of flames, swinging as she heard the crack of the whip once more. He grunted, as his whole body shook under the blow. Asmodeus stood in front of Xander, their face leveled. A sluty facsimile of Buffy, rubbed herself all over Asmodeus, as he smiled once more at Xander.
"What are you still doing here old friend. Don't you know I'm waiting for you?"
He woke in sweat, gasping for air. This was getting tiresome, not to say disturbing. His bare chest heaved up and down at a fast pace, as he let himself fall back onto the mattress. Suddenly, Xander felt a hand caressing his forehead, his eyes snapped back open and he sighed as through the darkness he perceived Faith's nude form, about to press itself against his body.
"Shhhh," she said, as she continued gently brushing his face with her fingers. "Mommy's here."
"That's a majorly disturbing thing to say, Faith." He could barely see her face, but he knew she was smiling.
"Hey, what can I say, you bring the nurturing mother in me. That and the kinkiness. You still getting those nightmares?" she asked as she rested her head onto his chest. Sighing as she listened to the thumping of his heart.
"No," he responded truthfully. "I have some brand new ones these days. Actually they're kind of like the old ones, except with the medallion doing some major editing." Xander sighed as she looked up to meet his gaze. "What are you doing here, Faith?"
"Well I thought I'd surprise you. I was getting lonely in my big bed. Thought you'd be glad to see me," she said deviously, her hand sliding down and disappearing under the sheets. "I know someone who's wicked glad to see me." Xander laughed as his head fell backwards onto the pillow. He closed his eyes, letting out a small moan as the sound of Faith's hand brushing against the sheet accompanied him.
"You still don't give up easy, huh?"
"Want, take, have, baby. That's what's it's all about," she responded in segment, as she kissed her way up his chest. She stopped as she reached his face, instead hovering above it, looking him straight in his eyes with a soft smile on her lips. Xander reached up, gently brushing the hair off her face. She closed her eyes and leaned in to his touch. She moaned softly as Xander caressed her face with his hand, her lips with his fingers. She opened her eyes as he pulled her into a brief but passionate kiss.
He gently pulled her off, quickly swinging under her and out of the bed. She stared confused as he slipped on a pair of boxer.
"Euh.. Xand, I know you're out of practice, but this is clothes optional, you know," she said, waiving her finger from her to him. Xander turned and smiled shyly at her. "I'm not getting any tonight, am I?"
"Sorry, not tonight, Faith. I'm not in the mood." It was a hard thing to say, considering she lied naked in his bed and was more than ready to go. Surprisingly, she nodded understandingly.
"Five by Five. But don't give me the 'not in the mood crap'. It's 'cause you are in the mood that you don't wanna go. You're still thinkin' about that Layla business. I know how killing turns you on, Boy Toy. I also know how much you despise yourself for it." Xander stared at her for a moment, his jaw shifting, but it wasn't a glare. He was simply annoyed that she knew him so well. He was somewhat thankful though that this was only half the answer.
"… that and I should probably take advantage of the insomnia to study. Big test tomorrow and Xander not so smart. Need all help Xander can get," he said in his best caveman expression. He turned on the desk lamp and pulled out his philosophy book as he lowered himself in his chair.
"Why do you bother with the whole school thing? If you need a diploma to get a job, not that I'm encouraging, why don't you just phone up Riley?"
"I'm not doing it for a job. I just promised Wills I'd get a BA in something eventually."
"Yeah, and we all know how you always keep your promise, don't we?" she said, her voice was sad, a hint of spite in it. Xander stopped reading, catching on to the hidden meaning of her words. His back was to Faith, and though she saw him pause briefly before he returned to his text, she could not see the guilt and the distraught on Xander's face.
"Anyway, is it cool if I crash here, I don't feel like going back downstairs, you know?"
"Five by five. Hope the light won't bother you."
"Don't worry, I'll make myself… comfortable." It didn't take long before the sounds of flesh rubbing against flesh and the textile of the sheets, was accompanied by soft moans of pleasure. Xander slammed his book shut, an annoyed expression on his face, and without turning around, despite the temptation, headed out the door.
"Goodnight Faith."
As he walked away, he could imagine the proud smile on Faith's face, especially as he heard the door locking behind him. His jaw shifted as annoyance was growing dangerously close to anger.
Even in the blue prison uniform, Faith looked positively delicious. He wondered sometimes if he should suggest a conjugal visit or something, wasn't quite sure how it worked. He voted against it, though. Even if during these daily visits, this thick sheet of armored glass always separated him and Faith, it felt as if they had never been as close as they were now. It was strange, and eerie. They were becoming friends, close friends in fact, in the span of a few days. They were things he found he could say to her, he never could say to anybody else. He didn't want to ruin that. She was after all, the only friend he had.
She looked at him, still a bit shabby and rough looking around the edge, but he wasn't quite the drunken wreck that had waltz back in her life only two weeks ago. He was unshaven, but wore clean clothes and looked as if he'd taken a shower that morning. The gauze covering the wound on his face was new and clean, no trace of blood there. She would never admit it to him, but she'd quickly grown fond of Xander. She didn't know why it was, but she always looked forward to that two hours they'd get to spend together everyday. She felt herself open up to him, perhaps because he had done the same to her, but it was wicked scary nonetheless. She was amazed how much like her he was, even more puzzling was the fact that she hadn't noticed back in Sunnydale. Perhaps she just hadn't taken the time to.
"So what's up, Boy Toy? How's life on the outside? Picking up any honeys?"
"Oh Faith! How you wound me" he grasped his chest in theatrical gesture of pain. "You know you're the only one for me." He quickly jumped from his seat and, lifting his shirt, pressed his bare nipple against the glass. She laughed, waving to him to stop.
"Alright, alright. Enough with the funny. I believe you," she said, then pausing a moment as she studied his eyes. She then took a disapproving tone, "You've been drinking."
"Just a few beers, I swear. You know, to take the edge off quitting. C'mon it's not like I can just stop cold turkey. It's not like I'm drinking, it's more like my body has developed this massive…"
"…alcohol deficiency," finished Faith for him. "Yeah, I read 'Neuromancer' too Xander. Remember, the book you gave to me to read. I'm disappointed. To think I believed you came up with those funny lines on your own."
"Borrowing from others is an art, it requires flare I'll have you know."
"Yeah, I bet you're a master."
"Graduated with honours. Of course, it's mostly because I was copying from the guy next to me."
"Good job on changing the subject, had me real distracted for a sec…"
"Faith, I promise, I'm gonna stop drinking. Just give me sometime. I'm going for a job interview this afternoon, another construction job, should pan out," he said, as Faith shook her head, looking more like she was humoring him than anything else. "Really Faith, I'm gonna stop. I'm not gonna become my father." Suddenly, her expression changed and she nodded in agreement.
"I believe you."
"Thanks."
"You know, it might be a real stupid thing to say, or think for that matter, but sometimes I ask myself if you had it so bad with your dad. And don't take it the wrong way, it's just, I whish mine would have been around, even if he'd been lousy at it."
"What's your last memory of him?"
"I was that many," she said smiling excitedly as she presented nine fingers. "He was a trucker and he took me on one of his run down to Salt Lake City. 2380 miles of open road and father-daughter bonding. He taught me how to drive a rig, had these little wooden extension on my feet. Taught me how to use the radio and how to take care of myself on the road, or if some of the guys back in Boston got too fresh with me. I didn't have my slayer powers back then, but I was the toughest little girl on the block. I remember, he let me drive a couple of times late at night when he needed to catch a few hours of sleep. Best five days of my life."
"What was he like?"
"It's kind of hard to remember now. He had a beard, and he always wore a dirty red cap. He was kind of robust, a little on the beer belly side. Always making jokes, couldn't be serious for a moment. You know, you kind of remind me of him sometimes. I bet if I could remember his face, he'd look something like you." Xander didn't know what to say to that. He could have cracked a joke or said thank you, but both choices seemed wrong somehow. He waited out the awkwardness and continued the conversation.
"I know it's stupid too… I mean what I'm about to say, and I can't help but feel that this armored glass is mighty thin right now, but I guess I'll say it anyway. I feel the exact opposite way that you do. I wish my dad had left us when I was a kid. I don't have an image of him in my mind that I can go back too and find comfort. My last memory of my dad was that night when he tried to push me around and he's the one who ended up lying on the ground for once. I broke his jaw that night, almost killed him, probably would have if I knew how to fight back then. You have to understand, my father was a drunk and a looser. The older I got, the more he went out of his way to push me down, to tell me I was worthless, but he didn't beat me, at least not regularly. Twelve times that I remember. He felt guilty about it in the morning, I knew 'cause he always stayed away from me for a while afterwards. That night though, I pushed back 'cause I wanted to show him I wasn't a looser. I wanted him to feel pathetic and helpless. I wanted to hurt him so bad that night that I was glad when he pushed me. I'm only amazed that I stopped myself. I don't think I love him, I don't think I ever did. In a way, I'm the one that grew up fatherless."
"What about your mother? Mine was a drunk and… a slut. I had a lot of uncles and she usually cared more about them than me. While she was alive anyways."
"Well I guess we have another thing in common. Mommy was a drunk alright. Pretty sure she cheated on my father too, not that I think he was the faithful kind either. She yelled a lot. For any reasons, any reason at all. She just needed something to complain about. I guess she wasn't happy with the fact that I ruined her life by being born. I liked the attention though, even if it was unpleasant."
"Ditto." They smiled at each other. They didn't bother with all the sympathy bullshit normal people dished out because they didn't know what to say. "That's horrible" "I'm sorry" "I had no idea" "I'm there for you" "Do you want to talk about it" and another myriad of platitudes they tried, thinking if it had worked on Dawson Creek's last night, it actually might make things better. They both knew though that nothing could make things better, they were both too savvy to try to fool themselves. They understood. A smile was all they needed.
"Hello, might I speak with Mr. Harris please?" the voice crackled over the phone. The man on the other end sounded British and rather stuffy.
"Sure thing, dog," answered Marcus as he rapidly shoved his books in his bag. "Who is it though. So I can tell him who's asking."
"You may tell him Mr.Rupert Giles is asking for him. I assure you, he'll know me."
" 'Kay" said Marcus as he slapped Xander upside the head, jerking him awake with the blow. The philosophy book slid off Xander's chest and fell down the couch he was lying on. Marcus dropped the cordless phone on Xander's lap, the latter groggily shaking his arms at Marcus questioningly.
"Snorster, phone for you. Some dude named Giles or something," said Marcus as he headed out the door. A yawn was escaping Xander's lips. "And put some damn clothes on, will ya?" The door closed and locked as Xander scratched his head and picked up the receiver.
"Yep, G-man is that you?" he said in a tired voice.
"Yes, Xander. I'm calling because I found out some information on your medallion. It was rather troublesome actually, so I do hope you appreciate." The mention of the medallion chased away any grogginess from Xander, He sat up seizing the cold piece of metal from his bare chest. His eyes scanned and studied the necklace's grooves carefully. The embossed image of the ferocious wolf on it, the ruby eyes and the strange engraving framing it.
"So fire away, old chum," he
said in his best Batman expression.
"Very well," said Giles hesitating for a moment. "I do not quite know how to say this, but what you seem to have in your possession is, well… the medallion of Skoll." There was a moment of silence as Xander stared dumbfounded at the necklace. Obviously Giles expected him to know what he was talking about.
"Well Holy ambiguity Batman. I'll destroy it right away… I think?"
"No! Xander," said Giles pausing to sigh annoyingly. "You have in your possession one if not the most powerful artifact that has ever been. What you have is a legend, a myth even among demons and vampires. It's said to be older than this world itself, and perhaps the one before."
"Cool. What does it do? Do I get whishes or something, 'cause I can't wait to waste those on selfish and useless things. A mountain of twinkies. Mmmh. Wait, seriously. Let me guess, it's the world's only effective hangover remedy."
"No Xander," responded Giles in an annoyed tone. "It's not a twinkie producing whish maker or a bloody hangover remedy. Would you happen to remember what Ragnarok is?"
"Yeah sure, that's the Norse thing, their end of the world deal, Means something like 'doom of the gods' or 'death to the puppies', I forget which. Both equally bad though."
"I'm impressed Xander. Should I conclude that you weren't just pretending to read the books I handed you when we were doing research? No matter, Gottardemung, as it is sometimes referred to, is indeed translated as doom of the gods, so you're correct. Do you remember what the first thing to happen will be according to the Norse, when the world is about to end?"
"Free twinkies will fall from the sky, and all will rejoice?"
"What is your bloody obsession with those horrific American snacks?" Giles was becoming genuinely irritated, and that's how he liked his Giles. Stuffy, annoyed and British. Annoying the old librarian was probably his third favorite thing in the world.
"Hey, it's morning here, I just woke up and I'm hungry. Plus it's part of my heritage, thank you very much. It's not like you country is so fame for it's delicacy."
"Let's dispense with the
culinary debate for a moment. The starting shot of Ragnarok is and I quote: '
"I'm not sure Xander," his voice distant and hesitant. "Even if you knew how to used it properly which we have no…"
"Anything else I should know?" interrupted Xander, rubbing his eyes and cursing himself silently for bringing up such a stupid idea.
"Yes, it's somehow tied to a very old and controversial prophecy. Actually, I'm not sure if the word prophecy is correct."
"What is it called, Giles?" asked Xander exasperated.
"It's in this tome, generally referred to as the Shadow Prophecies of Fenkel. You see, Fenkel, was one of the very first watchers, he in fact helped found the organization. In his latter years, he went insanely mad after seeing his slayer, his own daughter actually, die at the hands of a Demon Knight."
"What the hell's a Demon Knight, G-man."
"That's not quite clear either, I would have to researched the matter comprehensively to give you an answer. Whatever they were, they were very powerful, they instilled fear in everything alive or undead. They also became extinct ages ago. Anyway, Fenkel wrote that the Demon Knight, feeling honored by the strength displayed by the girl, and the courage of her father as he tried hopelessly to avenge her, gave Fenkel the gift of vision. But these vision differed from normal ones, it seemed Demon Knights' had the ability to see through strange currents of Fate that no one else had access to, and Fenkel soon started to ramble about time being a stone that could be shattered. He became a recluse and he wrote this book, filled with anti-prophesies. Predicting the unpredictable and naming the unnamable and I could go on quite a bit. Safe to say, it is filled with paradoxical metaphoric gibberish, and to make matters worst, it's written in a very old language and it's encrypted. Most follower of the occult choose to discard Fenkel's work as the rambling of an old man, but considering that some would say the same of Skoll, I suppose I would be better to have a look. It will take quite a while unfortunately."
"That's alright, I'm not in a rush… that is of course unless a rush is prophesized, but until I know for sure I say we take it relax. I am wondering though how I'm gonna get this thing… I mean Skoll to work. Any ideas?"
"Not really, if anything, I suppose it will show you the way somehow, gradually. Before I let you go Xander, I'm afraid there is an urgent matter that I'm gonna have to ask that you take care of."
"I don't suppose your emergency is a huge blood pouting shortage, is it?"
"I'm afraid not. There is an art dealer on the sixth floor of the Manhattan Mall, I assume you are familiar with that store? Well his name is Yoan Franks. Unbeknownst to him, he just acquired this very sensitive artifact that, as we've heard through our network, someone is planning to steal tomorrow night. The object in question is a fragment, a third of an ancient emblem called 'the Oerta'. That artifact might possibly help open a portal to hell if assembled. I'll send you a fax as soon as we're done."
"Consider it stolen… by us I mean. Me and Faith will pay a visit to this dealer tonight."
"Oh, she found you."
"Yeah, she's living with us now. Thanks to you and your big mouth I have been kicked out of my bed twice in the last week. How long did you wait to call her up, five minutes after we were done talking?" he said in a light joking tone.
"Xander I would most enjoy taking credit for this, but as you know, Faith is not the kind of slayer who leaves a number for us to contact her. She just called me two days later, asking if I heard from you, just as she's being doing every month for the last two years. I wasn't aware you wanted me to lie."
"No, no, it's quite alright. Wait, she's been calling you every month? Just looking for me?" Xander almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. A frown was drawing itself on his face. Quickly, guilt was starting to lace itself to the confusion.
"Quintessentially, yes. Sometime I was so lucky as to get a 'how are you' or a 'what's up', but mainly just 'did you hear from him yet'. She was quite worried when you disappeared. She stayed in Ireland two months just in case you might comeback. Almost, tore the place apart looking for you, so I hear. She even traveled back to Sunnydale. She was quite angry when I told her you were fine, alive and in New York. I think it shattered her kidnapped by aliens theory."
"Okay, thanks Giles. I'll call you as soon as I'm done breaking the 7th commandment."
"Thou shall not commit adultery?"
"Not the one I was shooting for, but I'll settle."
"Alright you apes, time to punch out" yelled Xander over the deafening sound of the plane's engines. Almost instantly, two rows of dark uniformed soldiers rose to their feet, waiting silently for the command. Xander, dressed in the same black uniform, raised his arm high in the air and gave the hand signal known throughout every special force outfit in the world as an indication to move it, his arms pulling down on an imaginary object repeatedly. "Go, Go, Go!"
With each 'Go', a man jumped out through the opening in the side of the plane. It was done professionally and without hesitation. Soon Xander stood alone in the cargo area, save for his 2ic, RSM Heart, a small but terrifyingly though and intense Brit, who stood a step behind him, and Faith who had not moved from her seat. She stared intensely at the floor, not moving a muscle.
"What are you doing Wilkins! You heard the sir," yelled out Heart as he started moving toward her. "Which part of jumping out of the plane didn't you understand? The part where you jump, or the part where if you don't, I dig my foot so far up your ass you'll be shitting my booths for the next three weeks!" He prepared himself to dish out some more encouragement, but Xander calmly waved him off and moved in instead, kneeing by the brunette's side.
"What's wrong, Faith?" She didn't answer, only stared at the floor. She look as tense as he'd ever seen her. "Don't tell me your afraid of jumping. You're Faith, the slayer, mighty scourge of evil and defender of things that need be defended. Where's my Faith? You know, fearless, force of nature Faith? You can't be afraid of heights. I refuse to believe that."
"For your information," said the slayer, snapping her head at him. "Plunging nine stories to your doom and then spending a year in a coma is kind of a traumatizing experience, you know. Leaves a girl with a few scars." Xander shook his head understandingly, as he rose to his feet.
"I understand, but you're gonna have to get rid of that vertigo thing eventually, so let's say we at least walk you to the door today. Baby steps, you know?" he said, offering her his hand. She took it. She was afraid, but Xander quieted her anxiety a bit. She clung to the safety handle like it was life itself, as he convinced her to walk all the way to the edge. The wind was blowing strong on her face, making a single strand of hair, that had slipped underneath the black beret she wore, dance wildly before her eyes.
"Alright, now let go off the safety handle," he said slipping his hands around her belt. "Don't worry, you can thrust me…" She let go, closing her eyes. The next thing she felt was Xander's arm wrapping around her waist.
"… to do something incredibly stupid," finished Xander as he jumped out of the plane, taking Faith with him. The feeling of weightlessness, the air rushing against her face. Faith opened her eyes with murderous intentions. As they fell, Xander rotated around her waist so they could be face to face.
"You lousy sack of---"
'Temper, temper!" he said cheerily waiving a finger disapprovingly at her. He proceeded to hook his carabineer onto Faith's belt. She was growing increasingly alarmed as she could feel them picking up speed, the ground ever closer. Xander was completely calm and serene, an amused grin on his face.
"Now listen carefully to me Faith, 'cause you hold both our lives in your hands. This isn't a HALO jump, so this shouldn't be too hard, since I'm here to talk you through it. So what is gonna be, are you gonna pull that lever when I tell you to, or are we gonna splash on the pavement?" She gave half a smile in response, her jaw shifting. As angry as she was, Xander always did manage to quiet down her fears.
Gabe slumped down into his usual seat, looking down from above at the cozy auditorium that served as the political history class. Garrett and Marcus surrounded him, Xander's empty seat to their right. Somehow studying seemed like the furthest thing from his mind; images of Layla's shattered skull and of Jonahs execution were flooding in. It seemed so unreal in a way. He had spent his whole life in one of the toughest city in the world, without ever seeing violence, and now he was exposed to it on a daily basis. Loosing Annie had been hard enough, but to find out that his best buddy was capable of such cold and calculated acts, left him positively disturbed.
"Yeah," he said. "Marcus is boarding up the intervention train. Now let's get ready for some interventing." He was punching is open palm enthusiastically, as Xander appeared, walking up the stairs, eyes stuck to the floor. Marcus grew quiet and receded in his seat, as Xander sat down in his own.
"Hey guys," he said politely, turning away as quickly as he could. He'd been avoiding the whole gang as much as possible since the Layla incident. He was ashamed, but it was more than that, he thought they might need the time to deal with what had happened. It was for the best really, or at least that's what he had convinced himself of. Denial had a sweet embrace to it, one Xander had grown familiar with.
"I think it's time we…" started Gabe.
"… have a talk?" finished Xander as he deduced what was going on from the posture of his three friends. "C'mon, Gabe. Couldn't you have picked a more private place to hold your little intervention?"
"Well, like this, we know you won't give us amateur surgery, psycho boy," responded Garrett almost nonchalantly, instantly turning back his attention to his book.
"Listen," said Xander a little louder than he intended. He glanced behind him at the young girl that was startled by his outburst and then pulled himself closer to the group, lowering his voice. "Listen, I did what I did 'cause it had to be done. There was no cure, she was supposed to be dead already. I just alleviated her suffering and made sure she wouldn't kill again, which she would have. It was the only thing to do."
"So you say," said Gabe.
"California, you've been in this business for a very short while, I've spent my entire life knee deep in it, so don't start getting the idea that you know fuck about anything."
"What about Faith? She didn't need to kill Jonahs."
"Is this gonna turn into a capital punishment debate, 'cause that's exactly what it was. The bastard got what he had coming. He would have walked away and never paid for the murder he committed or the atrocities that followed. Faith wasn't gonna let that stand and I don't blame her."
"You still don't have the right to make a decision like that, Xander."
"First, I didn't make that decision, Faith did. Second, I hold my authority at the end of my sword. And make no mistake about it, that's all that matters in the end. You might live in a world of morals and magical fairies that dance around on a rainbow, but I woke up from that dream a long time ago. Morality is a luxury that brave men can rarely afford."
"Dog, I saw her. It wasn't just judgment day, she was getting off on it."
"Faith has her share of problems, she's violent and she does have a tendency to enjoy it, but that's part of her nature as a slayer. However, I want you to understand I fully support her on what she did."
"Still Xander, I have trouble believing that you're capable of something like that. It's still cold Xander. Very fucking cold. We're starting to become scared of you Xander. Sanaz and Katrina are mad at you; they haven't been able to sleep for a week. None of us understand how you can just do something like that, like it's nothing."
"It's not nothing, trust me, it's not easy. I do what has to be done. As for you guys, why the hell do you think I asked you guys to stay behind that night? I knew something like this might happen. You're the one who exposed yourself to it."
"If you really wanted to keep us from this shit, why is it you asked Garrett to drive you?"
"I needed a car, in case we had to evac Jonahs. Plus it's not like he has that much esteem to loose of me. More importantly, I knew he'd stay in the car, and even if he didn't, Garrett doesn't care."
"That's right, I don't" said Garrett nonchalantly as he kept flipping through his book.
"Well as long as you can live with yourself," said Gabe bitterly.
"Trust me I have no problem doing that."
"Hello class," interrupted a deep baritone voice from the front of the room. He quieted the arguments between the four friends who straightened up in their chairs as the lights in the room were dimmed. Professor Barnum stood gracefully before everyone, a tall slim man that looked as if a breeze could topple him over. He was known among the student as an easy marker and a rather friendly teacher, even given himself the sobriquet of Conspiracy Professor, given his love of conspiracy theories. "Anyone knows what today is?" There were no tries for a moment then suddenly Garrett raised his hand.
"It's the second anniversary of Brasov's assassination," said Garrett smiling proudly. Xander's head, which been pointed downward at his shoes, shot up.
"Yes, that is correct, three
years ago, while delivering a speech at the steps of the
The resounding echo of a book being slammed shut suddenly interrupted his speech. Xander came hurrying down the stairs toward the exit, an angry look on his face.
"Mr.Harris," said Barnum inquisitively. "Have I offended you somehow? I've never known you to be close minded." Xander kept walking, not doing his teacher the courtesy of turning around as he answered him dryly.
"I just suddenly need some fresh air… sir."
"Fuck you!" said Xander in an almost amused tone as he threw Cornell Brasov's photo onto the slick metal conference table of the Dragon-12's briefing room. The photo skidded along side the chromed surface until stopping in front off Riley who stared disapprovingly at Agent Clark. They both knew the man for less than twenty minutes, but the two friends didn't need to ask each other to know they shared a profound dislike of the NSA agent. The later stood over Xander, trying to loom dominantly over him with no success.
"You will do what you're told Captain Harris. You're outfit might fall only under NATO sanction, but you shouldn't forget that your commission is issued by the United States of America, and under current provision, you are still our property."
"You can have an order signed by the President himself and I still don't have to do squat, agent Clark," drawled Xander, taking an absurd time to enunciate every word. "What you're asking me is an illegal order, one that I have a right to refuse to follow. Shooting an unarmed civilian, a diplomat to a country that we are at peace with is about as illegal an immoral as I can think. Not to mention that I deeply respect the man and his work about bringing peace in Eastern Europe. I can't even figure out why you would want him dead?"
"That's not you're concern. It's a matter of National security."
"It's because Brasov has deep tie with the Chinese, isn't it?" said Riley, the photo in his hands. "You're afraid he might actually unite Eastern Europe, or at least become prominent enough to influence all the neighboring nations to ally themselves with China if they were ever to strike against us. Doesn't hurt either that his death would probably start a massive war down there that would force China to honor their treaty with Romania and supply them with weaponry, causing them to loose tremendous amount of money in the process."
"I wasn't aware that you had such a… overactive imagination Major Finn. But as I said, it is in our Nation's best interest to have this man removed," answered Clark coldly.
"So get one of your guys to do it," said Xander. " 'Cause I'm not even an option to you. If it doesn't have fangs or a tail, or maybe even horns. I don't kill it, at least not in cold blood."
"You will do as you're told Mr.Harris, period."
'Listen," interrupted Riley, "I don't care who you work for, you're not going to come in here and force my DCO to help you with anything. Now how about you leave before I have the urge to hold a press conference."
"I don't think that would be wise of you, Major. Not considering that I hold Mr.Harris' life in my hands."
"What the hell are you talking about? Are you threatening me?" asked Xander rising to his feet. The shorter man backed away a few steps, still exuding confidence.
"If you recall, three weeks ago, when you and Lieutenant Wilkins left for Iraq on a mission on behalf of the CIA, colleagues of mine insisted you'd be vaccinated against Anthrax. The vaccine you were administered contained nanomachines that now lay dormant in your blood stream. With one phone call I have them activated at which point they will offer you a very painful and gruesome death. However, if you do as I say, nothing will happen and a week from now they will be flushed out of your system. One job, that's all we're asking for." Xander lowered his head for a moment, nodding and shifting his jaw as he thought about it. Riley was on his feet too, fuming as he walked around the table.
"You know what," said Xander bitterly. "You can still go fuck yourself, even if I knew this was true, which I don't. I'd rather die than take someone else's life like that. So you can just make your phone call and get the fuck off my cock already."
"And you can be sure, that if he dies, you'll be next to follow," continued Riley.
"First of all, a simple blood test will determine the veracity of my claim. Second, my life is inconsequential, I'm quite ready to die for my country and third, we need the best possible agent available on this, and that's you Mr. Harris. While our psychological profile suggested you would never put your own life above someone else, it did speak differently regarding the life of one of your women, or have you forgotten she took the vaccine too?"
Xander erupted, grabbing Clark by the collar and slamming the shorter man violently into the large plasma television imbedded in the wall. He pressed his elbow heavily against Clark's windpipe, stopping the flow of air just enough for making breathing painful on the still compose agent.
"You touch her and there won't be a place on earth where you can hide."
"As I said my life…"
"How about your family? Are their lives inconsequential too, or am I gonna have to change your mind by torturing them in front of you?" Clark could see that Xander was dead serious, his eyes filled with anger and a cold inhuman thirst for vengeance. Clark swallowed painfully, his smile disappearing from his face.
"You'll be dead before you reach them and I doubt Major Finn would go to such extent." Xander grunted as he pulled himself off the NSA agent. He paced for a moment, then stopping as he felt Riley's hand on his shoulder. They exchanged a look.
"I'll take the shot," said Riley.
"No, that won't do." Clark shook his head.
"Fine, you son of a bitch," said Xander. "I'll take the shot, but whatever happens I want her safe. Riley, don't breath a word of this to Faith, that's the only way we know for sure that sick bastard won't have a reason to turn the switch on her."
Marcus was frozen in awe, his mouth almost hung open as he knelt on the living room's couch staring into the kitchen at Faith. She bumped and shook her hips stylishly at the sound of the radio as she played around with the thick steak she was frying in a pan. Wearing nothing but a thong and a white tank top, her hair and body wet from the shower she'd just taken, she looked just about as tempting as candy. She turned her head slightly to the side, taking notice of Marcus. She smiled and started accentuating her moves and the thrust of her hips. Marcus bit his lip as the smile on hers grew, staring invitingly at him before suddenly kicking the door close, snapping him out of his fantasy.
"Damn it, girl!" he said exasperatedly as he rose to his feet, just as Sanaz and Katrina entered the living room. It didn't take them long to realize why Marcus was pacing around angrily.
"Faith's on one of her semi-nude exhibitionist spree again, isn't she?" stated Sanaz as her and her best friend moved to the couch. Faith had been known to prance around the house dressed scantily, raveling in the pleasures of teasing Marcus and feeding his growing obsession. Her and Xander had spent almost all of their time together the last week, either training, patrolling or simply hanging out by the house, trading old stories which one of the gang would sometime be so lucky as to overhear a small part of.
"Later, girls. I'm heading to my room," said Marcus as he hopped to the stairs.
"Yeah," shouted Sanaz after him. "I wonder to do what?" The girls giggled as Marcus let out an annoyed grunt, disappearing into the second floor.
"You know, I wonder what the hell her deal is, I mean psycho girl. Why does she have to dance around the house half-naked all the time. I mean, who wants to see that?" said Katrina in a disgusted tone.
"Katrina," said Sanaz in a motherly tone. "You're gonna have to let go of the jealousy at one point… and possibly concentrate on being angry at Xander for the murder spree thing. I mean girlfriend, while I'm not too thrilled about her take on medicine, she's not that bad"
"I know, on both count and trust me I'm gonna have one hell of a talk with Xander the next time I see him. He can't avoid me forever. And I know she's not that bad… except for the murder thing, but that's not what's bothering me."
"Because Xander likes her? You didn't seem to be bothered when Annie was around."
"You knew about that?"
"Big brain remember? The whole ditz thing is just an elaborate cover."
"It's just… she's perfect. At least, for him anyways. She's gorgeous, she dances like a goddess, she's wild and aggressive, she's known him for years and she was his first. What chances do I have? He's never gonna fall in love with me while she's around. What man would? She's got him doing things in five minutes we could never have pressured him into doing. And the thing that bothers me the most is that she knows him, she really knows him. She knows his past and his secrets. He doesn't need to let her in, she's already there."
"You're right about one thing," suddenly interrupted Faith from behind them. She stood by the open kitchen door, leaning against the wall as she picked off her steak with her fingers. "He's never gonna fall in love with you." Sanaz was the one to react, pouncing to her feet in a protective manner.
"I don't recall us asking for you're opinion, bitch!"
"Relax, Chocolate," continued Faith, pausing to chew on a large piece of steak. "Boy Toy won't ever fall in love with V. over there, but it's not 'cause of me."
"Then why?" asked Katrina genuinely.
"Don't play her game Katrina, she's just…"
"No, I want to hear this Sanaz."
"Alright, try this on for size. Xander doesn't love me, don't make any mistake about that," started Faith, her jaw shifting as she spoke. "I might know him, but that just means I know why he'll never let himself fall in love again. See, you're actually more his type than I am, all sweet and candy, but that just means he's gonna try harder to stay away from you. Xander's lost everyone he's ever loved. Most of them died right in his arms, and every time he sunk a little deeper into this dark place you only caught a glimpse off, hon."
"So he's afraid of getting hurt again," responded Katrina.
"It's the lifestyle too though," added Sanaz. "He thinks anyone he loves is gonna die, because of him, isn't it."
"Not bad girls, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. The main problem is that he's still madly in love with the same woman he's been jonzing about for as long as I've known him. You can't compete with that, I've tried and it's a game you can't win. How do you fight a fuckin' memory? She's dead, she died right in his arms, and that just makes it perfect. 'Cause his memory of her will never change. She doesn't make mistakes, she doesn't hurt or jerk him around, she isn't aging and loosing her looks, she still the same old Buffy, all goodie goodie and perfect as a shiny nickel. I didn't stand a chance while she was alive, and when she died, when she finally wasn't in the way anymore, I found out it was just that much more impossible. I couldn't make him forget her, and you sure as hell won't be able to."
"You love him, don't you?" asked Katrina sympathetically. Faith hesitated before answering, anger boiling subtly deep beneath her skin.
"Love is for the weak. I'm not gonna lie though," her voice was rising and becoming a little more aggressive. "Xander is all I have. He's the closest thing to family I've ever had and I'll be damned if I let him get away from me again. We have something you can't touch V., and make no mistake; I'll stop at nothing to make him mine again. This isn't gonna be the kind of contest where we shake hand at the end, I'm gonna win this bitch, and you don't stand a chance." Faith quickly disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two friends in an annoyed state and Xander, who was secretly pressed against the hallway wall right outside the field of vision, sighing heavily, seizing the bridge of his nose.
"So, we'll attack the position at dawn, will that be all, Boss?" asked RSM Heart in the professional matter of fact voice he always used when in uniform. To an outsider he would have looked like a block of ice, a human terminator, but to all that knew him personally, the Brit was one of the jolliest person around when off duty, amazing singer too. He was secretly Xander's idol.
"Yes, that'll do nicely Mr.Heart," responded Xander as he saw Faith creep up behind the graying predator who simply smiled, knowing full well she was there but saying nothing about it. "The men know what's expected of them, tell them to catch some sleep though. Dismissed."
"M'am," said the older man, nodding his head respectfully at Faith as he walked past her down the trail leading to where the rest of Black Crow Squad was encamped. The dense Bolivian jungle was intensely hot and humid, and Faith had a growing desire to wipe her forehead, itchy from the thick camo paint. To Xander, the pattern of varying shade on her face seemed to fit her somehow. She looked feline and predatory, at home in this dangerous environment. The white of her eyes accentuated and shining through the semi-darkness, a thick shroud of impenetrable shadows chased around the red glow of Xander's Maglight. She moved toward him smiling.
"I don't think he likes callin' me, m'am too much," she said.
"Heart? You're insane, he was thrilled when you were promoted."
"Funny, I thought he'd be pissed. I mean, I've been in the army for six months and he's been in the SAS all his life and I'm promoted ahead of him. I think that would make me thirsty for blood."
"Don't worry about it. Those guys are professional, they're used to that. And usually it's not people they respect, which they do you," he said poking at her chest. "Plus, Heart was originally offered my job, he refused."
"Why would he do that?"
"He doesn't want to be an officer, he likes working for a living." She smiled at the joke, it was an old army line, fed usually to eager recruit who mistakenly saluted a sergeant. "Don't salute me, I work for a living", the saying rang out in Faith's ears.
"You know, I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on you're promotion either… Captain. What do you say we celebrate our mutual career advancement," she said as she started caressing his chest. He quickly pulled away from her touch.
"Faith, I thought we talked about this, not when we're in uniform."
"Relax, the boys all know and they don't have a problem with it. They know you don't treat me any different then them. So c'mon, I can't wait to find out if those two stripes have made you a different man. So what do you say, Captain?" Xander smiled as he turned around scanning the darkness for RSM Heart. He closed his Maglight and instantly pulled her into a passionate kiss. They landed in the soft green vegetation, rolling around and as they fought for the dominant position, as they always did. They ran their hands all over each other, as snakes slithered quickly away from them.
"Congratulation on your promotion, second lieutenant Wilkins," he whispered softly as she bit his neck softly. "You know, sometimes I really wish you told me you're real last name, Firecracker." He couldn't see her in the darkness but when she stopped, he just knew it wasn't because she was upset. There was something in the air, a strange tension between them, pleasurable and exciting, akin to the one felt before two lover's first kiss. Then she leaned in smiling, whispering an answer into his ear. He smiled softly as she pulled back, shaking a finger in his face.
"Don't ever repeat it, not even to me," she spoke softly and without any particular emotion. "That name died for me a long time ago. I'll keep Wilkins until I find a better one. Wait, what's this?" There was something in his hidden pocket within his uniform. She felt the small hard square through the fabric. She pulled it out despite his protesting and his pathetic attempts to stop her. It was a photo and she didn't need to turn on a Maglight to know what was on it.
"Oh isn't that sweet," she said amused and without malice. "You carry a picture of B. right over your heart. Bet that would start a lot of gossip considering Riley is doing the same. One woman seducing both the CO and the new DCO, interesting coincidence."
"You're not angry?"
"Why would I be angry? You know our arrangement. I mean, you know I don't sleep with any of the boys 'cause that would make you look bad, but I still get around, you know. And last time I checked you were still pretty much a slut too. Of course, as far as sleeping around goes you're still the only one that gets the no-glove privileges," she responded, pausing a second to nimble on his earlobe.
"But it's different with Buffy, isn't it?"
"Why? 'Cause you love her?"
"Yeah, that and the fact that you two always had sort of a competing slayer rivalry."
"Sorry to shatter you're little dream dimension where all women fight for you, and don't you dare bring up that valentine incident of yours, but you're not all that hot, Boy Toy. And for the record, you're in my arms tonight aren't you?"
"Certainly feels like it to me," he said kissing her neck.
"Good," she said, slipping the photo back into the pocket and sealing up the Velcro. "You know maybe after this mission, just maybe, we could swing by Sunnydale and say 'hi'. I think it be wicked awesome to see B., Giles and Dawn again. What do you think?"
"Right now I think there's too much talking and not enough shaking going on."
"Well, we'll see what we can do about that."
Xander stood before the bathroom mirror, his half naked body reflected into it. He didn't pay attention to the scars anymore, sometimes he even forgot the pentagram shaped black branding and the letters imbedded into his skin were not a tattoo he'd gotten during one of his drunken blackout. However, reality always settled in, he knew what the letters meant, he learned their meaning all too well. Today, he didn't care though. He had more important things on his mind. He finished cleaning his razor in the sink and then sighed as he readjusted the white towel around his waist. He stared intently in the mirror, trying different visages and expressions, switching from smile to grin and back, looking for the perfect look.
"You know, you're looking kind of hot tonight, Faith," said Xander to the mirror an exaggerated and forced sexy look on his face. The expression quickly crumbled into an exasperated air. "That's stupid."
"There comes a time in everyman's life…"
"
"Do you come here often?"
"Wanna go out with me?"
"Bond. James Bond."
"You know, I like you, as in a lot and I was thinking…"
"What's your sign again?"
"
"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"
"
"What did you say your sign was?" Xander sighed heavily at his series of lame attempts as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't believe I've ever gotten laid." He looked up, this time is visage serious and devoid of any strain.
"You know, as long as you and I have been… well you know. I don't think we've ever been on a date. I mean a real one, not just hanging out like buddies. I mean a girlfriend-boyfriend date; dinner, a movie, flowers and chocolate, you know the whole deal. I figure we're due for that. What I think I'm saying is, I want us to give a shot at that exclusivity thing, you know, seems to work for other people," Xander paused for a moment, breathing in. "I want to let you in. I want to forget everything before this moment and not waste this chance to really get to know you. I want to dance with you." A loud thumping at the bathroom door came interrupting Xander as Garrett's voice was heard.
"C'mon, hurry up in there before I evict your ass, Gramps! Remember the rules, no one oils the tree branch in the bathroom. Pick up the hand lotion and the Kleenex and head out to your room!"
"One minute!" yelled out Xander looking at his reflection's eyes. "Stupid," he said to himself, shaking his head.
Faith was leaning against a tombstone, twirling her stake impatiently between her fingers as she waited for a vampire to rise. He didn't seem like he was in any hurry to do so and meanwhile, Xander was walking up the trail of the cemetery leading up to where she was. Her back was to him, but since he made no effort to silence his movements, he figured she knew he was there. Disturbingly, she didn't respond to his approach, and that made Xander take note of the tension in her body. She was stiffening up with almost every step he took. So he stopped, a few feet behind her, knowing full well that she was angry with him about something, but he didn't know what. He had noticed her getting more and more high strung the last few weeks, and though he would have loved to ask her what was wrong, he knew Faith would never have answered him, but perhaps tonight she would.
"Yeah," she said, answering the question not asked. "I am pissed at you." Xander walked around the tombstone, nodding his head.
"I gather as much," he said,
coming to a stop in front of her. She was avoiding his eyes, looking away at
the night lit city sky of Sunnydale.
"Bestest bud? Oh really? I wasn't aware I still I had a place in your life, much less a title. Maybe you're confusing me with your precious Buffster," spat Faith before walking away and down the small hill they were on. As her outline started disappearing quickly into the shadows, the vampire started rising from his grave, his hands soaring through the dirt.
"Euh… Faith! Vampire!" yelled out Xander, his hand pointing at the now emerging head, as he started walking after her.
"I don't give a damn. Go get B., she's the responsible one." The vampire scuffed away into the distance as Xander caught up with the brunette stopping her decisive walk by grabbing her arm and wheeling her around.
"Faith, what the hell are you talking about? Are you jealous?" She slapped his arm off of her, looking more furious than ever.
"Why don't you give your ego a rest, Boy Toy. Do you think I could seriously get that attached to you, to anyone? Get real."
"Faith, I just don't understand, why are you pissed? You're the one who insist we come back here, you're the one who encouraged me to pursue Buffy."
"And that's all fine and dandy that you're spearing you're dream date Xan, but I'm pissed 'cause I didn't think I'd loose my favorite toy in the process." Xander knew that wasn't quite it, but sighed as he saw the answer was close.
"Yeah," he said sarcastically. "I'm that good. C'mon Faith, you know me better than anybody else, you knew I wouldn't cheat on Buffy. And I'm sure you keep you're bed occupied, so don't give me that crap."
"Fine, I miss you!" she shouted,
an uncharacteristic outburst of emotion. He could see tears forming at the edge
of her eyes as she lowered both her head and her voice, her
"That's not true… we hang out plenty, look at… tonight for example. I sense much hanging going on."
"You know what I mean, and slaying doesn't count. You spend all your time with her. I feel like I have to book an appointment two weeks in advance just to see you."
"She's my girlfriend, Faith. And you're always welcome to join us when we go out."
"And watch you two suck face all evening? Forget it. Plus all the things you guys do suck big time, picnic? Who the hell am I, Marry Poppins? I feel like I'm loosing my best friend, hell, the only real friend I've ever had." Xander shook his head. Suddenly grabbing Faith and pulling her into a tight hug she quickly embraced.
"Faith, You're never gonna loose me, I promise. So relax, you can trust me, I swear I'm never gonna leave you, Firecracker," he said smiling. "In the mean time, what do you say we go over at Spike's and I'll watch you two get seriously hammered? No Buffy. Does that sound good?" She pulled away smiling, discreetly wiping the forming tears out of her eyes.
"Five by
five," she answered, slinging one of her arms around his. They started heading
out toward Spike's crypt.
"One can always dream."
Xander slid the back door open and stepped into the backyard, the long black scabbard of his katana hanging by his side. There was something about practicing his swordsmanship that calmed him down, the shining Japanese blade cutting the air in wide graceful arcs had this mesmerizing quality to it. Over the years, he really had came to believe that this weapon was an extension of his soul, of his being, and whenever he wielded it, he was in silent communion with everything.
Xander took a slow graceful bow, his face a mask of placidity, and then suddenly and rapidly drew the blade, instantly striking the air in an earth to heaven motion, continuing the momentum by spinning and slashing away at invisible oponents in impossibly fast combinations. Block. Strike. Sidestep. Parry. Parry. Strike. Spin. Thrust. And the dance began anew.
Buffy. Willow. Anya. Cordelia.
He whished he thought about them more often. That was the problem about running away from your past, you have to leave the good behind along with the bad. But the guilt was always there, somewhere in the back of his mind. He failed them, and that terrified him somehow.
"Keep your pain close to your heart," he heard Hojiro's voice in the back of his head as his moves became more and more aggressive. "Forget the picnics and the days at the beach, remember the heartbreaks, the betrayals. Let them consume you, they're the memories that'll keep you alive. Remember, everything in this world is suffering, to rule the sword you have to become suffering itself."
Xander felt as one with the universe, his movement an extension of the seemingly chaotic flow of things. Yet it was so deliberate, so determined, so cause and effect. His anger was boiling inside of him, his sense of oneness had little to do with serenity. He was death, the universe's taste for destruction, his sword singing a swift requiem.
Anya. He'd loved her so much by
the end. He'd seen her grow into this wonderful person, kooky, capitalist, and
immensely devoted to him. When they were together, there was a part of him that
did still belonged to Buffy, but he'd given Anya everything else. She was a
part of him, one that at the time, he could not have pictured a life without;
not even Buffy could have come between them. But death could get in the way of
anything. He still remembered the rage, when Deadboy's arrow missed its mark
and took her away. The feel of Buffy's fist connecting with his jaw as he tried,
kicking and screaming to move past her to attack her precious Angel.
Retreat. Parry. Strike. Roll.
Keep moving Xander, keep
going through the motions. Always moving, move fast enough and the pain won't
catch up with you.. Don't let the pain enter your mind. Let it flow over you
like this breeze.
Cordelia. She had a special place too. His first girlfriend. They'd had a rocky relationship and in the end, he'd screwed it all up. The first time around, his feelings for Buffy had always been a looming problem, but in the end it was the most unexpected thing that had destroyed them. The second time, they could have had something nice and normal. Something healthy. But vengeance was his life then, whiskey the fuel. In the end, he picked revenge over her, he'd screwed it up twice. He missed her terribly but it was different for Cordy, because even though he hadn't seen or talked to her in almost four years, the fact that she was only a phone call away, even though she probably would just hang up on him, or that he could just turn on the TV set and watch her insulting the hell out of Roger would almost make him feel like she wasn't completely out of his life.
Jump. Parry low. Attack high.
"Don't run from it Xander," he could hear Hojiro say. "It's all you have. It's your destiny, hanging there at the point of your sword. Embrace the pain Xander, and then you will be complete."
Willow. His bestest bud since forever. When he watched her drift apart from him, when he saw her fall in love with Oz and become best friend with Buffy, he started realizing just how precious she was to him. The way she looked in that dress that night. They tried to control themselves, but failed repeatedly. In the end he threw everything away for Willow. Oz forgave her and she abandoned Xander to pay the price for their mistake. He never blamed her though, but she too had a part of him he could never get back.
Run. Bouncing off the wall. Strike left. Strike right. Drop to one knee, slashing the midsection. Up again.
What did you ever know. What did you ever know about anything. All I want is for the pain to go away, for them to be alive and with me. For all of this shit, this violence that keeps following me, to vanish. For us to have picnics and days at the beach. For me to dance in her arms.
Buffy.
She was the hardest to think about. She was his first love, the person he would
have given up his life for and almost did times and times over. She had been a
haunting presence throughout all his relationships. His feelings had matured
over the years, but there was always something there, even throughout the
fights and the putdowns. They never did talk about what had happened that
evening when they had went to see Teresa's body to find her a vampire. The
moment they shared.
"Run away from your past, and it'll meet you right back in the future. Don't embrace your pain Xander, and it'll control you more than fear or love. It'll keep you away from the best things that life will have to offer you."
Faith. He had to face it, she knew more about him than any of them ever did. She understood him, and she'd been with him through the worst. She had saved his life, saved his soul, his sanity. She had taught him how to live, how to seduce women, how to dance. She had taken him places sexually that most guys don't even dare to fantasize about. She had nursed him back to health more times than he could count. She just had done things for him he could never explain, and how did he repay her? He had abandoned her that morning in Portmammock. He had promised her he never would and yet he had abandoned her just like her father had. He had missed her, terribly, her memory second only to Buffy. She deserved so much better than him, but Xander was started to hope she hadn't noticed that.
"So what
is this called exactly?" asked Gabe as he stepped onto the
"That's a bokken."
"No, I mean, you're style. It's not any form of Karate I know of. And Tae Kwan Do it ain't 'cause I used to take it. So what is it, California? Ninjitsu? Some weird form of Kung Fu?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I don't know, as in I have no idea what it's called."
"How's that? You have amnesia or something, is that why you're not sharing your past with us?"
"No, I don't share my past with you guys 'cause I'm a big jerk and I like to watch you squirm. That and all the stuff I'm really not proud of. As for the name my teacher never told me, he was a funny little man. Just wacky like that. Japanese though, if that helps."
"That's strange, he teaches you for like years and he never tells you what he's teaching you is called."
"Who said anything about years? I learned this stuff in a little under three months."
"You are shitting me, no one gets this good in three months, nobody."
"Well I have practice quite a bit over the years, and I can't say there hasn't been much improvement, but pretty much yeah, I was this good after three months."
"That's
it," said Gabe decisively.
"Fat chance on that, pretty boy," said Faith from behind Gabe. She leant against the opened back door, a grin on her face. "Xander may be all hot and shit when it comes to killin', but a teacher he ain't. He's been trying for years to teach me, all I got out of it is a few tricks, the rest I just don't get. And I'm a natural at this."
"I'm afraid she's right, New York. But I'll give it a shot anyway if you're still interested. You never know, maybe Faith over there is just a lousy student."
"Oh you're begging for some deep pain, Cowboy," responded Faith in a light tone, a smile on her lips. Xander motioned Gabe through the proper technique of holding the sword and then turned back his attention to the slayer.
"Oh that reminds me, Giles called, Faith. He has an errand for us."
"Yeah what's that? Vampires, demons or just a plain old fashioned apocalypse."
"No, nothing so interesting. He just wants us to steal this thing at the Manhattan Mall. Some sort of emblem, opens up a portal into hell, mucho importante, you know the drill. So pack up your B&A kit, we're leaving around midnight." Faith's smile had vanished, but Xander barely noticed, as he was still very busy correcting Gabe's posture.
"About we hit that place Thursday, Boy Toy. I mean does it have to be tonight, what's the rush."
"No can do, you see, G-man thinks someone might tried to nab it tomorrow," he said absently. It took a moment for Faith to answer.
"So why don't we hit it tomorrow, catch the bad guys in the process."
"Too bothersome. We get our hand on the emblem, they cease to be a problem anyways," said Xander, a frown drawing itself on his face as he observed reticence on Faith's part. "What's wrong? You're busy tonight or something?"
"Yeah, I had, well I had a thing."
Jealousy.
Searing jealousy.
A thing. Chances are her thing meant she'd be spending the better part of the evening on her back, someone other than him on top of her. Images of a muscular body, glistening with sweat, Faith digging her nails into it. Hatred.
"Oh," said Xander, pure control, no show of emotions whatsoever. "Well I wouldn't want to get in the way of your plans. I'll do it myself, shouldn't be too…"
"No," quickly interrupted Faith. She nodded with a strange resolve. "I'll come with ya."
"You sure?"
"Five by five."
The demon toppled over clutching his open throat, green blood pouring out through his talon-like fingers. He slumped over the back of one of his dead comrades, dozen of which cluttered the magic shop's floor. Faith was panting heavily, a thin film of red blood sliding down her forehead. The portal glowed before her, flickering green like it was suffering from a power drain. She raised her guard, waiting for another to come through.
"Get a grip Giles!" she yelled after her former watcher. He stood within an oddly shaped pentagram, traced on the ground with salt. He panted almost as heavily as Faith, sweat drenching his gray shirt. He took a few breaths, posing from reciting from the dusty tome before him only to respond to Faith.
"Faith, I think we should consider abandoning. I cannot keep this up much longer and they have been gone for hours now."
"What are you saying?" yelled out Dawn from behind the counter. "You think their dead!"
"Dawn, I'm sorry but in all likelihood…"
"Shut up Giles," interrupted Faith. "They're not dead, if they'd failed the world would be over by now, right?"
"They might have died preventing the opening of the fissure, or they might have been incapable of returning to the portal. I am deeply sorry, but you have to understand both that time flows differently there, years have already past for every hour they've spent there."
"I don't care what is likely or not, you're gonna keep that portal open till we both drop Giles or they'll be hell to pay," shouted Faith as Dawn crossed the room to stand as close to the old watcher as she could.
"Giles," she added politely but decisively. "I love you like the father I never had, but you better make that double if you drop before Xander and my sister walk back through this thing." Giles didn't answer, only nodded his head and then went back to his incantations. It didn't take long before a ripple formed inside the portal. A wave of heat, smell of sulfur. Faith braced herself, but what rushed through surprised and relieved her at the same time.
"Close it! Close it now!" yelled out the distorted shape of Xander as he fell to his knees. He was filthy, blood all over him, thick and dried. Horribly long and brushy hair, a single streak of gray in them. A beard like a hermit Nails rimmed with sulfur and traces of torture all over his body. He was barely recognizable, almost naked, closer to an animal than anything else. But she recognized him, wrapping him in her arms.
"What about Buffy?" yelled out Dawn, rushing to his side. Xander's eyes reflected madness, a strange dull distance. Junkies' eyes. He laughed and cried at the same time, but pulled himself together enough to speak to Dawn in a somewhat appropriate tone.
"She's dead. Close the portal."
"Are you sure," asked Giles, his heart pounding. The black iron shackle around Xander's right wrist, flung the few rings of it's once chain against Faith's leather jacket. A few sobs.
"I've had fifteen years to think about it… she's dead. Close the portal, Giles." With a sweeping motion, the older man broke the circle and the portal vanished. Dawn flung herself crying into Giles arm as Xander did the same in Faith's, her arms cradling his head.
"It's gonna be okay, Xander. It's over now. I'm here."
"Listen, I really think we should comeback tomorrow," said Faith as they rode up the elevator of the Manhattan Mall. Breaking in had been easy, but Faith had been whining all evening for some reason, I was driving Xander insane. "That way, we can get the seal or whatever and catch the bad guy at the same time, you know? Much more efficient."
"Well, now that we're here, we might as well get on with it. What's up with you anyway? You've been all against this idea ever since I mentioned it." Faith looked nervous as she stared up at the flashing lights indicating the approaching sixth floor, she swayed from side to side, almost oblivious to Xander's question. After a moment she snapped her head toward him, as if she woke from a dream.
"Euh.. yeah. I don't know, Boy Toy. I just thought you and I could do something more… fun, you know, just the two of us." She still looked nervous, running her hand repeatedly through her hair, then Xander made the connection.
"Don't tell me you still have vertigo?"
"I'll manage," she said, quickly proceeding to changing the subject. "You packing anything besides the sword?" The handle was sticking out by Xander's right hip.
"Just a pistol."
"You sure? You don't have any grenade or hidden shotgun or anything?" Xander raised an eyebrow at the question.
"Yeah I'm sure, unless I accidentally dropped a shotgun in my shoe and didn't noticed when I put it on. C'mon Faith, we shouldn't need any weapons. I don't expect trouble." The door slid open with the ting of a bell. The two instantly stepped out Xander heading for the balcony as she hung back in the dimly lit hallway. Xander looked down upon a beautiful three stories glass structure that was exposed in the middle of the atrium.
"You should come check this out, Faith. It's gorgeous," he said in awe, mesmerized by the giant abstract sculpture that would be displayed there for the next month or so.
"I'll take your word for it, now let's get on with the crime," her voice was an echo in the otherwise silent mall.
Soon, they were both walking along a corridor lined with the blackened display windows of the various clothes and electronic shops that made up for the sixth floor of the mall. Faith's nervousness seemed to have quieted down, she looked more resolved now. Xander took notice of it as he stared intensely at her. He'd seen her like this before, on the eve of though missions, the kind one of them might not come home from. He couldn't figure out why she was wired today, but at least she seemed to be getting her game on.
"What? I got something in my teeth?" she asked, a frown on her face.
"Nah, it's just…" Xander stopped walking, she did the same, looking at him inquisitively. He swallowed hard, he figured now was as good of a time as any. "I was just wondering, you know…"
"Well spit it out, will ya?" there was some anger in her voice, as she started walking again. She had something on her mind, but Xander thought best not to postpone, knowing that would only make it harder for him to bring it up.
"I was just thinking, you and me Faith, we've known each other for a while and we've well you know…" he said nervously, waving a finger back and forward between the two of them.
"Jumped each others bone a few times?" she volunteered.
"Yeah. And I was thinking that in all that time…"
"You ever regret the day when you were a real bad ass, Xander? You know, when you didn't have a care in the world, when it was just me and you, riding down America's highways and the rest of the world be damned. When you said what you thought and did what you wanted to do without cringing." she interrupted. Xander was almost relieved by it and he took a second to think about the question.
"Yeah… but I think it's really the you and me part I miss, Firecracker" said Xander. Faith stopped in her tracks, staring straight into Xander's eyes. She was clearly touched by what he had just said. He watched her there for a moment, standing there hesitating about something, a somber look on her features.
"Listen, Boy Toy. How' bout we get out of here. Forget about Giles' thingie, let's go to Hawaii for the week, or anywhere else. Let's just go to the airport and take the first flight to anywhere."
"C'mon Faith, don't be ridiculous. We're almost there. Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yeah, I just have a bad feeling about this," she said as they resumed walking. "You sure you want to do this?"
"Yes Firecracker," he answered as they walked silently for a moment, turning a few corners before Xander mustered the strength to make another pass. "Faith, I was just thinking. I sing at this little bar called the "Jagged Edge" and I thought…
"So I'm told, the gang says you're wicked awesome. Must have been practicin' since I last heard ya."
"Yeah," he continued sheepishly, "I' m doing a set tomorrow night and I was thinking you might want to show up, see the improvement."
"Yeah, that be super wicked," she answered, Xander not noticing the gloomy tone of her voice and the look on her face.
"Good, 'cause I haven't had a chance to show you around the Big Apple yet, so after, I'm taking you out on the town to show you the sights." Faith smiled, sweetly at first, and then she shook her head taking in a deep breath as she cracked her neck from side to side. She stopped briskly, tilting her head sideways as if listening for something.
"Did you hear that?"
"No," said Xander becoming more alert.
"Give me your sword," she held out her hand toward Xander as he immediately complied. Faith made a quick gesture for Xander to stay where he was, as she started walking away carefully, the sword raised by her temple. Xander felt a presence in the darkness, a presence all around. He spun, scanning his surroundings, he saw forms, shadows moving along both side of the hallway, encircling them.
"Faith!". There was no response, only the sound of his sword hitting the ground, then skidding away. His heartbeat started to rise rapidly, as everything started slowing down. He knew, somehow he just knew. He turned slowly until he could see Faith just standing there about five meters away from him, smiling wickedly.
"Guess what Boy Toy?" she wasn't nervous anymore. A dozen vampires stepped out of the darkness; they surrounded him. Xander's expression never showed surprise, just a cold rage as he glared at the slayer, his sword nowhere in sight. He knew, he just knew.
"… ahh…ive…ya…hat…eh.. ver… ya… ant."
"I guess Tyler Durden was right, you do only speak in vowel when you have a gun in your mouth," said Xander as he leant in real close to the red faced demon. His hand was attached to the gun, and the gun was buried deep in the demon's mouth. The later squirmed on the chair not daring to make a swipe for the weapon. He looked form left to right, the warehouse was filled with two dozen bodies, his men scattered about in charred chunks or bullet riddled corpses. The attack had been so fast, so unexpected. One moment he had been discussing with Montoya about the rising cost of transport for cocaine, just about to conclude the exchange, when suddenly a bright white light accompanied by a deafening explosion interrupted everything. Flashbangs, a grenade-like projectile used to blind and disoriented targets before a room entry, a favorite by Swat and Special Forces. Unfortunately, in this case, it had been the doing of neither of these groups.
There had been a buzzing sound in his ears, but he still heard the grenades and gunfire, unprovoked, unreturned. He had received a powerful kick to the groin before being thrust onto a chair and disarmed. He had thought he'd been double crossed, but when his vision returned, he saw Montoya on his knees, a gorgeous raven haired girl dressed in leather holding a gun to the Colombian's head. Before him, had been and was a clean shaved man with a scar and a white strand in his hair. He was dressed in leather as well, and soon shoved a large blue steel pistol in his mouth.
"C'mon, lighten up? What's the problem? You've never seen Fight Club?" asked Xander as he pulled out the pistol from the demon's mouth, saliva on the barrel, sweat beads sliding around the multiple horns.
"What do you guys want? The stuff's right there, just take it," said the demon, nodding his head toward the two briefcases that lied on the ground next to them. One held cocaine, the other money. Xander just smiled for a moment, pressing the gun on the demon's forehead, there was something psychotic about his grin.
"Thank you for your permission, but at this point, we were pretty much gonna take it regardless," he responded, cocking the colt 45 semi-automatic.
"Wait, I don't know what you got in mind but, I've got money, lots of…"
"We don't want your money, the money in that briefcase will be quite enough, we're not greedy. No, we don't want the money, we want your life."
"C'mon, stop the shakedown, I'll give you what you want."
"I told you…"
"You can't. You can't just kill me like that."
"Why not? Do you have any idea how many kids O.D. on the shit you sell on the streets. How may lives you destroy? You're an evil piece of demonic shit and I'm gonna give you a new hole to breath from."
"Hey, listen, just because I'm a demon, doesn't mean I'm evil. Granted, I might be a bit of a crook, but my people, we're very friendly, I seriously would never hurt anybody in cold blood."
"Who cares whether you're a good demon or not? You're a demon that's all the reasons I need," said Xander. The demon voiced a protest but it was quieted by the loud pop of the pistol, warm blood splattering on Xander's face. He then turned around, facing the other drug dealer, an Hispanic looking man which was still cringing from the sight of the execution. Faith for herself, seemed to be having all of the fun in the world.
"Why is he still alive?" he asked Faith. She was confused by the question and took a moment to answer.
"He's human…" she said it like it was evident, as if that should have instantly quieted any murderous intention from her partner who was walking rapidly toward them.
"That's right," spoke Montoya, "Hundred percent human."
"Who gives a shit," said Xander as he raised his sidearm. Montoya's eyes shot wide open.
"Wait, I can…" The first shot pierced the heart while the second blew a wide hole in the man's skull, blood raining for a few feet.
"That's cold, Boy Toy," said Faith, showing little of the concern she felt. Xander seized her arm and pulled her into a passionate kiss, blood trickling off his face into her mouth.
"I thought you liked cold?" he said slyly as he turned his attention to the briefcase, checking their contents, both held a small fortune.
"Yeah, but ever since we started rippin' off demons for play money, I noticed you're more wicked psyched about leaving bodies behind."
"Is my favorite little psycho girl complaining?" asked Xander, a devilish grin on his face as he searched the drug dealers bodies for hidden money belt and such. "I hope you're not saying that because we're not saving the world, it means we can't enjoy ourselves."
"I thought you liked saving the world. You always were the boy scout, you know the white knight." She knew the story, Xander had told her once in bed, somewhere on the east coast. She knew how much he hated the term and all the memories it brought back. Yet Xander wasn't angered, he was rather amused by it.
"Stop with the teasing, Firecracker. I'm not a white knight anymore, at least, not quite white anyways."
"Yeah, but this is the first time I ever seen you kill someone just for the fun of it. Not that I'm saying you didn't enjoy it before."
"All demons deserved to die, I don't care how Zen they are, not that this one was anywhere close to it."
"See that's not something I would have expected to come out of your mouth just two years ago. You've changed, and half of me wants to say for the best, but the other knows B. wouldn't approve." Xander threw her a glare, but she held her ground, making no motion toward an apology. "And, I meant the human, by the way."
"He was scum, no one's gonna miss him." Xander froze, as he dug threw Montoya's wallet, he came across a picture of a pretty young girl, and then another of her with her father. He was speechless for a moment.
"I've noticed you were a bit more prone on the killing lately. I'm not one to judge, I've always been that way, but that's not you Xander. As much as I like corrupting you, I don't want you to become me, or worse, for that matter." Xander was still staring at the picture, guilt washing over him for the first time since he'd comeback from Hell. He had the sudden realization of just how much humanity he had lost, just how removed he was from the man he used to be.
"You might be right there, Faith," he finally said sadly.
"Hey, when I start complainin' about morality, you know somethin' wicked bad's going on."
"It's just… I'm tired of trying to save the world. Who cares? Nobody ever thanks us, nobody knows Buffy's name, she doesn't have any statues built in her honor. Don't get me wrong, I hate anything demon with a passion, but what does it matter if we kill a few vampires or not? It doesn't make a difference. Sometimes I feel we're on the wrong side, we're not gonna change anything, maybe we might as well make a profit."
"I get you. Whatever you want to do Xander, I'm right there with you. You wanna save the world, let's get rollin'. You want to destroy it, or rule over it, I'm right there with you. I just want to make sure you realize which path you're taking, 'cause I'm comin' for the ride, heaven or hell."
'Thanks, Firecracker. I'm just blowing steam though," said Xander. "You know what? I think we're overdue for a vacation."
"Keep talkin'"
"Two weeks, maybe a month, no council, no weapons, no killing. Just a vacation somewhere, away from violence of any sort."
"Got a place in mind, Boy Toy?"
"What do you think of
Ireland."
Xander shook his head from side to side, laughing as he did. Trust. And he thought that had meant he should learned to do it more. "Thanks Buffy, way too screw me on the ambiguity," he thought as he watched Faith's amused expression, she was enjoying this, her reticence and any doubts she might have expressed by the many opportunities she gave Xander to back out, to step out of this trap, had been wiped away. Something about her smile told him she had hoped he wouldn't back out, and right now, she had put aside any arguments to the contrary.
"Friends of yours?" asked Xander, nodding his head to the vampires that surrounded him. They held their position about a meter and half from him, growling and snarling with their game face on.
"Try not to think of this as a betrayal," said Faith in a light tone, "and more as an expression of my lack of loyalty to you. But don't sweat it, Boy Toy, you don't necessarily have to die today, you know."
"How's that?"
"We have a business proposition for you, Mr.Harris," said a familiar voice from the darkness, self-assured, with a slight foreign accent. Suddenly, it's owner step out into the light of the hallway. The blond hair, the green eyes, the five thousand dollar suit, and the condescending air. It might have been a few years later, a few wrinkles later, but Xander instantly recognized Mason Konnig, the man who had once shot him in the chest back in Russia. He stood next to Faith now, as Xander remember the taste of the tube they'd shoved down his throat once he'd gotten to the RV point, half dead. "How would you like to come work for me?"
"Mason. I don't know, I think it's the kind of thing I might need to sleep on."
"I'm afraid you don't have that privilege, Mr. Harris." Xander lowered his head, shaking it once more.
"So that's why you didn't want to come here," he said talking to Faith, "Didn't want us to snatch the cracker jack prize before you new boss gets a go at it. C'mon, Faith, couldn't you have at least picked someone that hadn't shot me?"
'What can I say," she replied swaying her hips, "I'm all American woman, all capitalism, baby. He had the most money, fact that he had a bone with you was just a bonus."
"See, Xander," interrupted Mason, "You have something my employer desires greatly," he stopped momentarily to point to Xander's medaillion. "and we will be taking that from you in a moment. It was a lucky coincidence that you decided to come after the Oerta. When Faith alerted us, we saw an opportunity to ambush you and obtain it. However, my employer and I would both prefer it if you chose to relinquish it of your own free will and come work for us."
"C'mon Xand," added Faith, "Plenty of money to make on the darkside. We got wicked discounts too, everything's free."
"Yeah, and all I got to do is give you guys one of the most powerful artifact in existence and probably help you kill a few innocent people along the way. Yeah, sure sign me up right away, and while you're at it, why don't you get me some poisonous snakes to hug and kiss."
"Innocent people? No, such animal Boy Toy, and remember, you said it yourself, being a goodie two shoe is like kickin' your feet in the ocean, so c'mon join the people you can't beat. It goes without sayin' you get some… member benefit," she said sexily, swaying her hips again and caressing herself in a way that indicated Xander she was the benefit she was talking about.
"Sorry Faith, but, and do take offense at that, been there, done you, and I didn't even get a lousy T-Shirt." Anger, but suppressed. She cocked her head to the side, tonguing the inside of her cheek.
"Don't be stupid Xander, you don't have a choice here," she responded, "Your unarmed and I know you can't take me by myself, so what the hell could make you think you can defeat me when I got twelve vamps backing me up?"
"Well, we're not playing around anymore, are we?"
"Don't be stupid, fold, boy." Tension rising. Xander's small grin was making Faith nervous. She tapped foot, accelerating. He couldn't mean it.
"No I think I'm gonna call." He was cool, relax. Tap. Tap. Tap. Faith's foot setting a beat. The crescendo of an heavy metal tune, pumping its electrical distortion.
"I'm not bluffin' Xand. I will kill you."
"I never said you weren't serious Firecracker, in fact, let me up the ante," said Xander as his hand snapped backward, reaching for the pistol tucked into the back of his jeans. He drew the pistol with extreme speed, the vampires barely saw anything, barely reacted, but Xander's arm flung back the way it came. Only then did the sound of the knife slicing the air came to Xander's ears. Blood hurling in a wide circle, he grunted as his gun hit the floor. The handle from Faith's knife stood out from Xander's forearm like it was a natural outgrowth.
Xander had little time to catch Faith's proud smile, or to cradle his arm in pain, as he was suddenly pushed from backward into someone's incoming's punch. He sucked wind hard as the vampire's fist almost tore through his stomach. He staggered back, unable to do much else than try to prevent himself from falling to the ground as the group of vampires closed in.
Don't fall to the ground Xander, no matter what don't fall to the ground. Death lies there. You have to create a whole in the circle, escape. You have to escape fast, or…
Thoughts of escape were interrupted when one of the vamps kicked the back Xander's knee. He fell forward, flipping backward as someone's knee connected with his face. Fear set in for a second, as his grasp on his surrounding faded. Knock-out. Instinct, training kicking in just as fast. Xander rolled, kicks and pucnches either glancing or downright catching him. So much pain, he couldn't tell the punches and kicks apart anymore. He tried to protect his face as he was dragged and shoved, the vampires laughing. Xander rolled on his side and kicked one of the vampire's leg from under him, but was instantly pushed back down, the gap closed just as fast. It felt hopeless.
Xander was exhausted, he breathed heavily and painfully; he thought some of his ribs might be broken. The vamps broke the attack a moment, laughing at his bloody and battered form, kneeling on all four. Xander's eyes on Faith's knife sticking out of his arm. Suddenly, a vamp yanked him up by the shoulders.
Faith wasn't smiling anymore, squirming under Mason's amused stare. She swallowed hard, about to say something. Instead, her eyes shot wide open when she saw the laughing vampire pull up Xander's seemingly limp body by the shoulders. Xander's hand on the handle of the knife.
"Watch out!" she yelled, but that only distracted the vamp from seeing Xander's eyes shooting open, energy to spare. A gush of blood spilled out of his arm as Xander withdrew the weapon, as if it had been in a sheath and with one fluid motion, slashed the vampire's throat open and cut across his eyes, blinding him. Xander shoved the vamp into another, sending both of them to the floor as he broke another's knee. The others tried to quickly close in, but Xander kept them at bay, with wide swipes of the knife.
Faith came pouncing in just as fast, but Xander was ready, blocking her punch-kick-punch combination before attempting three slashes, the second cutting her leather jacket open horizontally. The third would have made a deeper incision, but Faith countered by push-kicking him back violently. He didn't mind though, using the momentum instead to back-elbow two vamps simultaneously as he came flying past them.
Xander then saw an omen, a way out. Rays of light coming from inside one of the darken shop, another showcase window into another hallway. He then pushed hard and sprinted the small distance between him and the closest vampire to the showcase window on his end. He roared a battle cry as he tackled him, and used him as a shield to break through the obstacle. Sound of quarter inch thick glass shattering. Xander rolled off the dazed vampire, dropping the knife somewhere along the way, and sprinted through the interior of the clothes shop, heading for the other entrance.
"Get him!" yelled Faith. "Don't let him get away. You four, go round."
Xander's body crashed painfully through the second showcase. He landed on the floor ungracefully and in as much pain and daze as he had expected, but pounced off his feet and kept running alongside the atrium, which was to his left.
"Xander!" yelled Faith as she and her vamps came running out of the shop after him. He wasn't about to stop, but took a quick look behind, seeing the vamps quickly sealing the space between the shops and the atrium behind him. "Why would they do that?" he asked himself, only to realize the answer too late. He turned back, stopping in his track as he saw the four vamps blocking the path ahead in the same fashion. He was boxed in.
"Give up, Boy Toy," said Faith, dangling her knife. "C'mon, stop being all individualistic. Join the team."
Xander half-turned, his face bloody, and answered her with a smile that wiped away hers. He swung quickly for the atrium, jumping over the railing as everyone else closed in.
"Xander!" yelled Faith once more as she saw him plunge face forward only to hook himself at the last moment off the edge of the floor and swing himself onto the fifth floor balcony.
Faith's frantic breathing calmed itself for a moment as she backed away repulsed from the ledge. Mason walked in rapidly, but without any hint of nervousness.
"Well what are you waiting for? Go after him," he said calmly to Faith. She nodded and waved to the vamps.
"Climb down after him, but just flush him out, prevent him from getting to the stairs. He's mine." They proceeded to do as she ordered, Faith heading back the way they came with urgency.
"Where are you going?" asked Mason.
"I'm taking the stairs."
"I don't understand why we couldn't just bring a couple of thousands with us," asked Faith, annoyed as she readjusted the duffel bag on her shoulder.
"'Cause it's blood money, and it's part of the lifestyle we're vacationing from," answered Xander as they walked along a nameless dirt road leading up to a rustic farm. Strong wind blowing, pushing down the long wet grass all around them. The smell of the sea and its song in the distance.
"What's the town called again, Xander," she asked. Shaking her damp hair. She shivered, her clothes damp from the downpour that had subsided about 15 minutes ago, they'd been walking for more than an hour. First going from Dublin to the small town than back up toward the farm.
"Portmamock," answered Xander.
"Why did you pick this place of all places, Xand? My idea of a vacation involved more you and two or three cabana boys pampering me by the beach."
"What makes you think that's not what I have in mind? There's a beach over those sets of hills, called the Velvet Strand. One of the best in Ireland I'm told. Incidentally, also the place I was conceived during my parents honeymoon."
"Cool," she finally agreed, as they stepped onto the wooden front porch. Faith spun, taking in the sight of the small farmland around them. Xander knocked on the used front door and soon and old jovial looking man answered.
"How might I help, ya?" he asked with a thick Irish accent.
"Huh, sir," said Xander. "I was told in town, you might be interested in hiring some help with the farm. Room, boarding and food."
"Plus a little extra spending money," he continued. "Name's Robert. Oh my goodness, you and the young lady are soaked. Come in, come in, we'll discuss the details as we get you some warm clothes."
"Come out, come out, wherever you are," sung Faith as she strutted through the hallways of the fifth floor of the Manhattan mall. The glass of the display windows winced as she grated her knife against them. "I got every exit covered Boy Toy, and you're in no shape to fight."
Suddenly, Xander pounced out of the darkness, tackling Faith from behind. They both slid across the floor, jumping to their feet simultaneously. Faith threw a snap kick that Xander easily dodged and followed up with two punches and a kick of his own. The kick landed and Faith bounced right back off the wall, coming in spinning with knife, she barely missed Xander who ducked under and elbowed her ribs. She grunted.
"Nice, Boy Toy! And I thought you really had soften up with the years."
"Stop this Faith, we don't need to do this."
"Need? I want to do this," she said as she launched herself once more, after an elaborate combination, she landed a punch on Xander's nose and followed with a terrifyingly powerful kick that sent Xander through yet another window. He squirmed on a bed of shattered glass for the moment as she laughed, twirling the knife between her fingers.
"You didn't think you really were a match for a slayer, did you, Boy Toy?"
"You gonna kill me now, Faith? You're gonna be able to kill me after all we've been through together," panted Xander from the floor, his hand closing around an handful of shattered glass.
Faith raised the knife by her smile, "You know what, Boy Toy? We got something real special going on and I promise to try to figure exactly what it is while I'm gutting you open." Without waiting a second more, Xander threw the glass into Faith's direction and got to his feet as she covered up her face from the projectiles. She turned back to receive a powerful punch to the head and then a kick to her knee that has she not been the slayer, would have surely broken it.
Xander followed with more attacks, forcing Faith back along side the atrium. As he attempted a kick, she slipped and spun, landing a backnuckle and cutting Xander across the ribs. He looked down at the superficial wound and smiled back at Faith as they paused, circling each other for a moment.
"I think I'll be taking that knife from you, now."
"Bring it on." Xander faked an attack stopping short, letting Faith's slash miss him barely before seizing her wrist. He kicked her hip back and she folded in two as he spun her wrist, flipping her toward a wall, the knife now in his hand. Faith rolled with the momentum and was up to her feet, throwing a series of wheel kick and punches almost faster than Xander could deflect.
"Finally, I see what you're really made off, Boy Toy. And I have to say, I'm not too impressed." Xander's knife grazed her shoulder.
"Let's see if I can change your mind, shall we?"
The fight went on for a moment, a ballet of punches and kicks, a battle for control of the center line in the purest of kung fu tradition. Xander was actually doing fairly well most of it, the knife tasting Faith's blood a few times, and then her foot connected with his jaw, right where Angel's sword had dug into the bone. The pain was excruciating as his jawbone almost shattered. Faith smiled as he gathered himself off the floor, blood trickling from his mouth.
"You can't beat me, Boy Toy. I know where all your weaknesses are?"
Xander's first slash was deflected and his punch blocked, unfortunately the knife thrust that followed was just what Faith had been waiting for. She slipped under the attack, grabbing the forearm and yanking it straight as she pushed herself hard right above Xander's elbow. He yelled as the knife escaped his grip, the crack of his elbow breaking echoing throughout the mall.
"Three times a charm, Boy Toy,"
she said as she elbowed him hard across the face, sending him crashing a meter
or two from the atrium. Three times that arm had been broken now. That vampire
the day before the ascension. The troll when he had been almost forced to pick
between his bestest bud and the woman he loved. And now the woman he…
"Faith, why don't we just talk this thing over," said Xander as he pushed himself backward, cradling his broken arm, retreating from Faith's slow advance.
"Why? Why would I want to talk to you, Xander? Just so you can betray me again, just like everyman, everybody in my life ever did. If I go with you this time, how long before you abandon me again, just like my father, huh?" She picked up the knife, Xander trying to rise to his feet, his back half a meter from the railing.
"Faith, I'm sorry about leaving but…"
"But what? There was some big bag needing you're attention? You didn't have a choice, is that it? No, I find out you've been living the grand life in the Big Apple. No phone calls, no note, no nothing. You just abandoned me, broke you're promise. I show up and you won't even touch me anymore. No we're done talking."
As Xander stood up, Faith threw two powerful punches that Xander was helpless to block, blood flying from his wounds, and a final kick that sent him crashing straight through the railing. Faith's eyes widen in horror, at the unexpected result of her attack.
"Xander!" she yelled in terror.
Freefall. Half conscious. Xander barely knew what had happened. His name was being yelled somewhere and his blurred vision picked up images of a broken atrium railing, farther and farther away from him. Sensation of picking up speed.
Xander's body fell through the air, faster and faster and crashed violently through the glass sculpture, two stories bellow. He went through level after level of sheets of glass, as if someone was beating the world most fragile drum. An alarm went off.
Faith's breathing was erratic. She stared catatonically at the breach before her. Her heart shattering as her fractured mind spelled a taste for metal. She squeezed the pummel of her knife, and after a moment, hesitatingly made her way to the ledge. She peered over, her hand grasping onto the nearby railing, and sighed in relief as she saw Xander five stories bellow. He was covered in blood and glass, and looked unconscious, but moved ever so slightly.
"Slayer," called out a vampire as he ran up to a few feet behind her. "Is he dead?"
"Yeah," she said as she watched Xander turn groggily on his side. "He's dead, let's get the "oerta" or whatever it's called, and get out of here." She turned back away from the ledge.
"You want us to go down to retrieve the medallion?"
"No," she snapped quickly, "there's no time. Cops will be here soon, we need to motor."
Xander woke up two miles off Dublin, Faith straddling him. She kissed his neck gently as he purred. 5:30 in the morning, the rooster was up early. Vague traces of light raining through the open window, a gentle breeze making the curtains dance. Smell of jacinth and sweat.
"I think I'd rather just skip to the wicked prize instead."
"I like you're way of thinking," she said as she embraced him. Their hands ran over each other wildly as they rolled off the bed in their passion. Faith let out a small yelp. The last two weeks working for Robert had been strange. Normal life, away from demons and high-tension situation, it felt like an adventure. Things between him and Faith had been strange too, but in a good way he couldn't explain.
"You want to be my date for the fair tonight," he asked between two kisses.
"No, but I'll come with you. Nothing personal Harris, but I'm not the "dating" kind," she said lightly they both smiled.
"I have one condition though, if I'm to extend the immense honor that his to accompany me onto you."
"And what is this condition, pray tell me good sir, that I may refuse," said Faith in a rather good imitation of a posh English girl from the turn of the century.
"We dress for the occasion."
"Okay, so we all agree. Once Xander comes in, we're not letting him leave till we're all satisfied, right?" asked Gabe to the gang that all sat around the living room, sipping on some punch, practicing their intervention faces. Marcus cocked the mp5 in his hands.
"Don't worry dog, he ain't going nowhere."
"Marcus, put that away."
"I don't know, Gabe," said Katrina. "You might want to keep this handy if I suddenly feel a urge to kill him."
"Yeah, where does he gets off just involving us in a murder like that," added Sanaz, starting up a machine that couldn't be stopped. Garrett rolled his eyes, trapped between the two women engaged in enumerating the things that were wrong about Xander and his psychotic girlfriend. He gestured along with their conversation, his hands two mouths that wouldn't shut up.
"Save it for when he gets here, ladies" Gabe said, silencing them both. At that moment, the doorbell rang out throughout the house.
"I'll go," said Gabe. When he opened the door, he couldn't help but gasp at what lied before him. "Xander!" Instantly, Katrina pounced to her feet, heading for the door like a fuming train.
"Mister, you have a lot of explaining to…" her voice trailed off as she came upon what had frozen Gabe into place. Xander leaned against the doorframe, battered and bloody like they'd never seen him before. He had cuts everywhere and the little skin that showed was pale from massive blood loss. His right arm was cradled over his chest, his eyes dazed.
"…Oh my god!"
"Smile!" said Auley O'Casaide as the flashlight illuminated Xander and Faith's face. They waited for a moment as the snapshot cooled, thanking the villager for the free picture, a gift for the new inhabitants of their little burg. Tonight, amidst the Fair's bright lights and festive atmosphere, they'd both realized just how quickly the villagers had taken a liking to them, and of the reverse as well. For the first time since they'd left Sunnydale for good, they felt at home somewhere, all the familiar faces smiling. Cormac the baker. Emmet that ran the town's grocery shop. Maeve that run the "Black Drum" tavern. It felt weird, it felt normal and perfect.
"How are my two favorite lovebirds?" asked father Teerny, his speech slurred and his breath pass the legal driving limit. "Still livin' in sin?"
"Afraid so father," replied
Faith cheerfully, "You know I could never marry him, I only have eyes for you,
father." The fourty year old priest giggled, his cheeks turning red.
"Be careful young lady, don't tempt an old man's heart. I come close from renouncing the cloth every time I see one of your lovely smile," he joked before turning to Xander. "I'd hurry up and marry her if I were you, sonny. Though I might be the most handsome, I'm not the only lad standing in line."
"Thanks for the advice, father."
"Can I expect you both in church this Sunday?" he asked them that question every day, as persistent as any drill instructor they'd ever met.
"All right," agreed Xander for the first time. Faith nodding to respond to the Father's elated expression. He thanked them both as they turned their attention to the dry picture. Faith and he were dressed in borrowed clothes, courtesy of Robert. Xander wore a thick gray cotton shirt and brown corduroy pants. Faith wore a simple gray dress, with a long brown skirt. It was simple, but it looked everything but on her. She was splendid. She had no make-up on, something he'd never seen before. She had an arm wrapped around his, her head pressed on his shoulder. They both smiled softly, the Velvet Strand as a backdrop. They looked happy. Something Xander had never noticed them share, sure they had fun almost all the time, but happiness? No, this was a first.
Lorena McKennit's voice resonated, the crowd cheering as she begun another song. Faith suddenly pulled on Xander's arm, dragging him away from the crowd and toward a small hill not too far.
"Where are we going?" Her enigmatic smile the only response he received.
The breeze was gentle and cool
as waves flung themselves harmoniously against the side of the cliff. The sound
of the small fair, a sweet cacophony, just down the slope. Lorena McKennit's
voice, vibrating throughout the night sky as she sung "Kellswater". Faith stood
barefoot in the high grass before him, dressed in a simple gray dress, with a
long brown skirt. Borrowed clothes that looked perfect, that seemed to belong
on her. The stars shone gently on her untouched features, untouched by make-up
of any kind. Faith smiled sweetly at Xander, her eyes fleeing quickly toward
the ground. She swayed, shifting nervously her weight from one foot to the
other. There was a long moment of silence, Xander lost in the vision of beauty
before him. She raised a hand toward Xander, her eyes following shyly; she
invited him to approach with a finger.
Slowly, Xander took hold of
Faith's hand, their fingers intertwining. His other hand sliding to her hip, as
she hesitantly laid her head on his shoulder. Their bodies began rocking
unhurriedly as they danced to McKennit's voice. Their hearts racing as they
moved together on the cliff near Portmamock. Xander spun Faith around, so her
back was to him; she closed her eyes.
"I like it here," said Xander. A few words carrying more meaning than he could express.
"So do I, Xander," her voice was soft, she understood. "I could stay here forever."
Xander spun her around as they
suddenly stopped dancing, but the music went on. He caressed her faced gently
as they faced each other, their hearts beating faster than ever before. Xander
swallowed hard, Faith's nervous breath caressing his lips. They both swallowed
hard, lumps in their throats. Faith closed her eyes and Xander kissed her, passionately
and sweetly. He kissed her like never before, loosing himself totally in the
embrace. It was musical, poetry of flesh and movement, their hearts crying out
an impossible staccato.
Bliss.
Soon they were on the grass, kissing and discovering each other like the first time. As if they were two virgin lovers venturing toward some unseen territory. Fear. Exaltation. Everything was changed, everything was perfect and they craved more and more. Hesitant, but consumed by it, helpless to prevent what was happening. Hungry. United as if the whole world melted around them, and they lost themselves in each other. It was so beautiful, making love in the long grass near Portmamock, like an ethereal dream. "Kellswater" in the background. Making love for the first time.
"Why did she do it though I don't understand? I though the girl dug you?" asked Marcus as he brought yet another set of shredded towels to use as bandages. Xander battered form sat on the living room's armchair as Katrina attended his wounds anxiously.
"Never mind, I understand," said Xander.
"Are we in any danger?" asked Garrett calmly as he peeled an orange, ever concerned for his own safety.
"No, she'd never do something as
stupid as going after you guys, and she probably thinks I'm dead anyways.
"You really need a doctor, Xander," said Katrina as she dug out another piece of glass from his neck.
"Yeah," added Gabe, "and since you're in no shape to fight back, I'm calling you an ambulance."
"Normally, I'd protest," said Xander. "but seeing as I starting to loose feeling in my extremities, I'll go with reason over ego." All of a sudden, a motorcycle roared by the house as a large thud was heard at the door. Everyone looked at each other fretfully as the sound of the motorcycle died in the distance. Finally, Garrett seizing the mp5 from Marcus' hands went to the door. He came back holding Faith's knife, Xander's blood crusted on the blade.
"This was buried into the door, she must have thrown it there," he said as he handed it to Xander. The later looked at the blade while Sanaz was talking to the emergency operator on the phone.
"What's it mean," asked Katrina.
"Means she knows I'm alive, means she let me live," he said pausing a moment, his eyes becoming resolved. "Means next time, it'll be for real."
She was so beautiful, lying in the bed next to him. Last night had been unexpected and magical. Everything had changed between them, and it was all so perfect. Yet something felt wrong.
Xander turned toward Faith, leaning to her ear.
"Faith," he whispered. "I… I lov…"
Images flashing before Xander's eyes. Anya dying in his arms. Willow. Buffy. Fear overcoming all his senses. Without saying anything, he slid off the bed as she continued sleeping soundly. It was still dark outside and would be for an hour or so, and Xander quickly and carefully packed his things. Little thoughts went into the motions, fast and silent, fear and sadness crowding Xander's mind. His heart screaming for him to stay.
He swung the duffel bag over one of his shoulders, and turned to watch Faith from the door, to watch her one last time. Her chest heaving in the darkness. The soft wheezing sound of her respiration.
"Good bye," he said simply, tears sliding down his face as he closed the door behind him. He disappeared in what little was left of the night, heading for somewhere were he could get lost forever.