It was nearing 5am on a seemingly normal Sunday morning as the sun began to slowly dawn over the snow-capped mountains of Ben Lomond, casting orange-hued shadows across the Loch that ran peacefully beneath it. Seagulls circled overhead, squawking noisily as they soared through the cloudless blue skies of summer. It was a picture perfect postcard of and idyllic Scottish scene, but in a lone cottage that sat silently on the riverbank, things were far from peaceful or serene.
From inside, the deep, throaty cries of anguish echoed out into the far beyond ; to a place where no one could hear.
*****
"Sean! Have you seen my bag anywhere?" Helen exclaimed loudly in the direction of the bedroom as she walked at a speedy pace from room to room, her eyes rapidly scanning the floor for the handbag she had discarded on her return home from work.
"It's on the kitchen bunker, Hels!" he yelled back, despite the fact he was within touching distance behind her, causing her to jump in fright. The scowl that was etched across her face as she turned to berate him wasn't enough to wipe the smirk off of his lips.
"Jesus, Sean. Do you have to sneak up on people like that. One of these day's you're going to give me a bloody heart attack." Taking a quick swig of her orange juice she pulled the bags strap over her left shoulder and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.
"Don't I get a better kiss than that before my woman swans off to work and abandons me?" The pouty expression which he had mastered as a child in a bid get his own way with his mother was not working on Helen. If anything it was having the opposite effect. Like listening to nails being dragged down a black board, she inwardly shuddered.
"Lets get a few things straight, Sean. Firstly, I'm not "your woman" and secondly I'm not abandoning you. I have a job to go to, to keep this roof over our heads. Surely as a grown man you can understand that." She knew the last comment would hit a nerve but rather than feel guilty, she felt empowered. Standing up for others was second nature, but standing up for herself was not a trait that came naturally.
"But, Hels, you don't even enjoy what you do. You're always moaning to me about old Shufflebottom and his sidekick Fenner ganging up on you." Sean whined, pathetically.
"It's Stubberfield, and you are sorely misinformed. I may hate the petty bureaucracy that goes on in Larkhall, but that doesn't mean I hate my job. I happen to like what I do. For once in my life I feel like I'm making a difference. I'm starting to gain the confidence of the women in my care and that's all the matters to me. As for Stubberfield and Fenner; they can crawl up each others arses and disappear for all I care." Sean chuckled uncomfortably, but Helen remained straight faced. Her career was no laughing matter to her.
"Ok, point taken. But, darling, I really do wish you would reconsider carrying on in the prison service after we are married. There really is no need. My brother Mark and his wife live very comfortably thanks to Mummy and Daddy. They will see us alright too." Sean brushed his hand through Helen's hair and she flinched just enough for him to notice. "Come on! What woman wouldn't give their right arm for a life like Lucy's? Eh? All she does all day is shop and if she's home, supervise the cleaner." Helen couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had she been so weak when she met Sean that she had overlooked his flaws, of which he had many.
"Oh, which reminds me to tell you. Mummy called last night to tell me Lucy is expecting…due in June I'm sure she said. Isn't that wonderful news?" Helen recoiled and tried to quickly escape the tight space between her boyfriend and the kitchen cupboards. His conversation was going down a road she was not in the least bit comfortable with.
"I'm late for work. Excuse me, Sean."
"But Helen…"
"This isn't open for discussion Sean, now leave it!" And with that she stormed off out of the house, slamming the door behind her as she went, before he could see the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks.
HMP Larkhall had its usual sombre air as Helen walked the draughty corridor towards the office of her superior, Karen Betts.
"Morning, Helen. Thanks for joining me at such short notice." Karen nodded towards the seat opposite her desk, gesturing Helen to sit.
"It's no problem, I wasn't too busy anyway. So, what's this about Karen?" Helen took the seat across from the new deputy number one and made herself comfortable.
"I've had a briefing land on my desk this morning from area management about the recent unannounced visit and inspection from the board of inspectors, and things aren't looking too rosy. It seems several problem areas have been pin-pointed for our attention and we have been given a month to rectify the problems, or the home office is going to come down heavily on us." Karen paused momentarily to light a much needed cigarette before she continued.
"Now, from what I can see G-wing is under the biggest threat. According to the Chief Inspector of Prisons he has found it badly managed and has recommended that several fundamental changes are made, and as soon as possible."
"Badly managed? So what you mean is the axe falls upon my neck? Bloody great!" Helen rubbed her forehead vigorously to try and ease the throbbing vein in her temple. Just when she had thought her day couldn't possibly get any worse and here she was, sitting in front of her friend and colleague being told in a round-about way to shape up or be shipped out of the service for good.
"Helen, no one said it was solely your neck on the block. We are all in deep shit, in one way or another, from senior management right down to the junior members of staff. No fingers are being pointed as of yet, not until we do our own internal investigation to determine what is going wrong. In the mean time I have a few suggestions, some you may not be happy with. First of all I'll state the obvious and say we need to be running a tighter ship here at Larkhall. I need everyone briefed that everything that is said or done is to be okayed by me primarily, before I pass it on to Simon. I need a thorough, airtight report that area management cannot fault." Karen's jaw tightened in anger, relaxing momentarily to inhale on her cigarette. Helen could see was stressed
"Okay, I agree with that. So what's the part I'm not going to like? Don't sugar coat it, Karen. I'm a big girl, I can deal with whatever it is." Truth be know Helen's insides were churning. She didn't think she could cope with it at all, and dreaded hearing the next words out of Karen's mouth, but bravado had always been her way of staying somewhat composed.
"This isn't my decision, Helen. Simon has asked me to speak to you in confidence about this on his behalf…"
"I bet he has," Helen sneered in contempt for the man who made it his daily mission to upset her.
"He wants you to be demoted for the time being, until my report for area management had been submitted, at least. He's asked me to take over the running of G-Wing in the mean time, and wants you assigned to jailer duties as of this moment on."
"What? Karen, you can't be serious? The prisoners on G-Wing will have a field day with this. Do you know the backlash I will take? No one will treat me with any respect…they are like coyotes at the best of times."
"I know. And that's why we've decided not to send you onto G-Wing. Simon wants you to supervise the officers on the mother and baby unit. You will still receive your grade 4 pay scale, so don't worry about that." Karen continued to talk on, but Helen had stopped listening upon hearing the words "mother and baby". An all too familiar ache twisted in her chest and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. Suppressed memories would no longer be able to be forgotten, no matter how deeply buried they were. The past life she had spent so long running from was catching up with her and they would soon dictate her entire future.