oblivion

by autumn win-dow

I understand why you left.

I watch your back as you leave me in the lounge, which suddenly seems like an unfamiliar place. The room feels devoid of any vibrant colour - a gray cube, with all sense of happiness drained from its walls.

But, as I said, I understand.

You have a family to take care of. A sister who needs you in her life, to guide her as a mentor. A father, ill from the stress of life, who needs you to support him with your strong arms and never ending love. And of course, you cannot choose between your family and I.

A part of me hoped that you would stay, grab my hand, and take me with you.

Hoped that you would help me ease all of that weight from my shoulders.

Hoped that you would at least stay by my side, holding me close to your chest.

Selfish things like that.

But you knew - we both knew - that these things were all impossible.

I didn't reach out to you. I couldn't reach out.

I was trapped - I let myself be trapped - to the point where not even Natsume Hyuuga would be able to rescue me.

I had unrealistically high expectations. And I won't call you back.

I imagine you asking why, but of course, you're not asking. You're not here.

But it's because I understand.

You have a life to live. It's the point in time when you feel like people need you the most, though many of us have never stopped needing you, and you just cannot turn you back on them for one person.

I know it breaks your heart to leave. I almost held you back. I'm glad that you're gone - sad, but I don't regret staying silent.

Perhaps, if I were actually able to speak amidst this thick smoke, I may have slipped a few words out.

We were alone in this forest, in this small cabin. And, as unlucky as we always are, a fire spread. This heavy chunk of wood on top of my body is too heavy for you alone to pick up.

I can't see anything, Natsume.

I can't hear, speak, or feel anything either.

The ghost of your warm embrace still surrounds me, though. Warmer than whatever the fire can reach.

But there's the reality: the smell of this cabin burning down and the curious question...

If we were the only ones here, then who started the fire?

A/N: a small drabble I wrote. I'm not writing in capitals sometimes because my samsung is being very difficult.