Author's note: So this is the longest single chapter I've ever written... It's about 4 times as long as my average chapter... But I just couldn't stop writing. It's mostly Andromeda centric, and a lot about her relationship with her sisters, but in the end I don't think you can have a disownment story about Andromeda without Ted. And let's face it, would you want to? I think he's adorable. And he's a huge part of the reason she left in the first place. I intend to write a chapter about Cedrella Black (for anyone who doesn't know, she was a Black who married Septimus Weasley, and hence was blasted off the family tree.) and Sirius. If anyone can think of anyone else they'd like me to do, please let me know!
So, without further ado... I don't own Harry Potter, shocker as this must be for you all!
It all started with forever.
Andromeda Black doodled absently on her piece of parchment. If anyone had of asked her what she was thinking that day, she would've said something deep and philosophical about the origins of magic. In truth, however, she was thinking about her breakfast. That and the new dress robes Cissy had picked out for her, ready for the upcoming ball, which she really had no desire whatsoever to attend.
When she looked up, there was a muggleborn boy staring at her. He was a hufflepuff, she knew, because Bella had made a point of tripping him up and hissing at him about his house and his parents. But other than that, she'd never so much as spoken to him. Hufflepuff and Slytherin circles didn't mix very much- especially when it came to muggleborns.
And yet he was staring at her, bold as brass, with something a lot like defiance, or maybe dislike, in his gaze.
"Is there a problem?" She hissed, raising her eyebrows.
"No, not at all." He hissed back. His friend was kicking him (non too discreetly) under the table. "I was just wondering how you managed to fit your enormously inflated ego through the door."
"My enormously inflated ego?" she hissed back. She made a point of never getting into any fights or insulting anyone if she could help it- there was enough Slytherins to go round, after all. But something about this boy was really irritating. And much as she might despise some of the ideals of her family, at the end of the day, she was Andromeda Black. No muggleborn should talk to her like that.
"Is there a problem Miss Black?" McGonagalll demanded, standing over Andromeda with a thin lipped expression that spelled trouble. Andromeda made a point, too, of never raising trouble or drawing attention to herself in class. It was a day of firsts, and she wasn't sure she liked it.
"No, Professor." She said, meeting McGonagall's gaze with something a lot like insolence.
If Professor McGonagall noticed, then she didn't comment. "Excellent. Well then, perhaps you could tell me how to turn this table into a pig, hmm?"
"Yes, Professor. It's a switching spell." There were a few titters from the rest of the class, but Andromeda carried on anyway. It wasn't the conventional method, but Sirius had been banging on about it all half term, and since she'd been interested, she'd read up on it. She knew what she was talking about. "If you invert the wand movement, and say the spell with the inflection on the 'l', then you can use a simple switching spell in a more advanced fashion, to turn larger objects than usually used in switching spells into senate creatures, for as long as the spell lasts, of course."
McGonagall looked shocked for a moment, before allowing her a small smile. "Very good, Miss Black. Take 5 points for Slytherin. In fact, take 10. Now, if we wanted to perform a more advanced switching spell, as Miss Black so rightly said, we need more power behind our-"
"Well, well." Said the boy at the end of the lesson, turning around to speak to her. "A Black with brains. Did your parents die of shock? You would've thought all that incest and bigotry would've made you all quite incapable of movement, much less regular thought."
Andromeda slammed her books into her bag. "As a matter of fact, the incest and bigotry does not make us especially stupid. Perhaps, however, the lessons in being snobby and unpleasant- every Sunday, if you were curious- could result in our particular prowess at looking down our noses. And as it happens, my mother was most unimpressed with my grades, and threatened to pull me from school. Ladies with knowledge are hardly desirable- they might talk to their husbands, and then where would we be?" She didn't know where all this was coming from, as she slammed another book into her bag, only that it was difficult to stop. "You don't know anything about me, or about my parents, or my so called family. And if you insist on insulting us, I suggest you come up with some more imaginative insults. Incest and bigotry- ha! I could tell you some things about my family that would make you blush right down to your toes."
"God damn." The boy muttered. "Aren't you something else."
Rolling her eyes, Andromeda slung her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the classroom. She had no idea where that rant had come from, or why her anger had flared so unexpectedly, only that she had been suppressing it for many years.
"Hey!" Yelled a voice, and there was the sound of running footsteps. "Hey, you forgot your quill!"
She looked at the quill her mother had given her last birthday, before her eyes returned to the boy's face. "Keep it."
"You're kidding, right? This is a 20 galleon quill! Your brain really must be addled by interbreeding if you'd let a random stranger keep this."
She rolled her eyes again as she brushed his hand aside and walked away. "You're insufferable."
He laughed as she walked away. "Touché, Miss Black. Touché!"
"Andy! Wait up!"
Throwing a glance over her shoulder to make sure there were no Slytherins in sight, Andromeda turned around to see Ted running towards her.
"Ssh!" She hissed.
"Sorry, your royal highness." Ted said, rolling his eyes. "I forgot you could be hit around the face with a wet fish if people saw you talking to me."
"It's not me I'm worried about, idiot. Honestly, Tonks, do you have a death wish?"
"Hmm... Let me think, well, all in all..." He broke off when Andromeda punched him. "Ow! No need to be so bloody violent, Andy. You could take my arm off with a fist like that!"
"You're treating this like a joke, Ted, but I'm not laughing! You could get into serious trouble. And I mean serious."
"What, you mean your boyfriend?" Ted scoffed. "Honestly, Andy, you would've thought you had no opinion of me whatsoever. I can take him!"
"He is not my boyfriend!"
"Is he gay?"
Andromeda's eyes grew to the size of saucers, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Rabastan? Not that I know of. Why?"
"He'd have to be, not to like you."
Andy blushed so red, Ted took to calling her a tomato for the rest of the term. "Anyway, it's okay. I know you like Nott, who is just as much of a git as Rabastan, but at least he's not camp."
"Ted!"
Ted smirked at her expression. "Look, I know you can't tell your sisters that you have friends outside of Slytherin, but do you think you could get to the library at six ish? We could really use your brains."
"By a group of us, you mean?"
"Sally, Frank, Alice, Mary, Greg. The usual crowd."
"Mary as in Mary McDonald? She's not taking her NEWTs is she? She's only a fifth year."
Ted gave her a weird look, and Andy burst out laughing. "Oh. Girlfriend business. Got it. Well, as long as you and her don't start snogging passionately all over my Arithmacy books, then sure, I'd like to."
Ted smirked at her. "Jealous, Black?"
Andromeda laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "You wish, Tonks."
"Can I walk you to the great hall?"
She rolled her eyes. "It'd be better if you didn't, you kamikaze idiot. I'm meeting Avery."
And though there was nothing untrue about the statement, and Andromeda had never said it to intentionally make Ted jealous, looking back she would have to wonder if maybe both of them had been more than a little put out by the love life of the other that day.
"-and then, he asked me to dance with him! The swine. Can you believe it?"
"Maybe we should send him a few curses through the mail box?" Bella suggested.
"Oh, be my guest!" Cissy laughed. "He simply refuses to accept that I am a Black woman, and completely out of his league. As if I'd ever be caught dead with a half blood. Andy?"
"Hmm?" Andromeda asked. Narcissa frowned at her.
"Did you even listen to a word I just said?"
"No, yeah. Wouldn't be caught dead with a half blood, Worchester's a swine, got it. I just-"
"Are you alright, Andy? You look a bit... Out of it." Bella frowned at her sister.
"Yeah, just tired I guess. It was an exhausting term."
Bella laughed. "Well, your hardest term awaits you, darling. Unless you don't care about NEWTs, of course. But are you sure that's all that's bothering you?"
"Avery broke up with her." Cissy blurted out.
"What?" Bellatrix cried, dropping her wine, which spilt like blood onto the cream carpet. "Why?"
Andromeda shrugged delicately, her shoulders sloping. "I guess he just wanted other things from life than me..."
"Rabastan Lestrange, if the rumours about the broom closet on the fourth floor are anything to go by." Cissy giggled. Bella threw her a quelling look.
"It's probably better this way, Andy." Bella said, wrapping a comforting hand around her sister's shoulders. "You deserve much better than Avery. His blood isn't half as pure as he claims. But you know, you can tell us anything."
Andromeda considered how funny it was how little about her life it was that she actually could tell them about, and how little she truly cared about the purity of Avery's blood. That the two would be mentioned in the same sentence was almost comical.
Even so, she spent the rest of the evening discussing how good of a kisser Avery really was, how she thought he was good looking but no huge loss, and whether he really was gay... And she'd never felt more like herself.
They fell asleep tangled in the silk sheets, legs and arms twisted together, Narcissa's head on Andromeda's shoulder and Bella's hands knotted in her hair.
They never did get that red stain out of the carpet.
"You've never been to a club? Like, ever?" Ted asked her, looking incredulous as they sat in a muggle cafe (away from the prying eyes of any pureblooded lady who might go telling Andy's parents the kind of muggleborns and bloodtraitors she was consorting with.)
"That is shameful!" Alice exclaimed.
"I've never really had any need to." Andy mused, stirring her milkshake. "And what, did you think my parents would just be okay with it?" She put on a high, posh voice. "Yes, darling, it's absolutely fine for you to go to a muggle nightclub with your little mudblood and bloodtraitor friends. Have a wonderful time, don't drink too much, unless it's firewhiskey. Be back by midnight!"
Alice laughed. "A, there are plenty of wizarding clubs. I've seen your sister there plenty of times, usually cursing some poor drunk muggleborn. B, you don't ask! You sneak out!"
"Bella? At a nightclub?" She asked, somewhat distracted by this concept. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Andromeda. Your sister isn't a saint, you know."
"I know... It's just, a nightclub? I knew she sneaked out. I figured she was just seeing Rodolphus behind my parents backs, or whatever other helpless lover has somehow managed to gain her interest, however short lived. I'd have thought she'd consider that sort of place beneath her. Especially when there were people of all blood status's there. And if it's a muggle tradition-" She slurped her milkshake, so deep in thought she didn't notice that there was none left, and that her straw was making highly unladylike noises.
"Well either way, she was there. Did she not ask where you were going today?"
"No. She minds her own business. Her and Cissy sneak out often enough, it's no big deal. They don't really think about where I'm going or who I'm meeting- they don't really think they have to. I'm a good, respectable pureblooded young lady, remember?"
"Ah." Alice laughed, pulling a face at the taste of the muggle coffee and pouring a sachet of sugar into it. "I forgot. We're complete vagabonds, whereas you are the model of perfection."
"About right." Ted shrugged. "Do you do anything wrong at all, Andy? Like, ever?"
She waved her spoon at him. "I'm doing something wrong right now."
He laughed. Frank snuck up behind them. "What ho, vague, distant cousin, friend and girlfriend of mine."
"Which is which?" Ted laughed, as Alice kissed him on the cheek.
"Ugh. Not while we're eating, Allie." Andromeda pulled a face.
"You're not eating." Alice pointed out. "And we were just discussing how Andy's never been to a nightclub, and how you should never, ever say what ho. Like, ever again."
Frank turned to Andy, shock visable in every line of his face. "Never been to a nightclub?"
"Nope."
"Well, this is something we need to rectify at once!"
"There." Alice said, putting the last finishing touches to Andy's make up and standing back to admire the affect. "You look gorgeous, Andy. Your parents would be so proud if they could see you now."
"Right after they'd finished having a heart attack. I told them I was going to tea with Uncle Alphad and his new girlfriend. They weren't exactly approving, since they think we'll get bad ideas... Uncle Alphad's girlfriends are hardly the model of decorum. But Uncle Alphad will back me up. Especially since he probably needs an alibi to keep up the appearance of respectability."
After sneaking past Alice's mum, they found Ted and Frank waiting for them at the end of the street.
"Evening, ladies." Frank said, holding his arm out for Alice, ever the cheesy romantic. Andromeda snorted.
"There's nothing 'lady' about it, Frank Longbottom."
"No, there most certainly isn't." Ted said, looking her up and down. Andy stared at him, incredulous. There'd never been any hint of romance between them, other than the time he'd said Avery was a fool not to like her, and he'd implied that she was jealous of him and Mary. It was a completely platatonic relationship.
Yet she'd seen that look before. It had been directed at her, but never with that intensity, and certainly never in the eyes of Ted Tonks. It was the way Rodolphus looked at Bella sometimes, and though Ted would never-could never, be anything like Rodolphus Lestrange, there was only one way to describe that look. And it was hunger.
She decided to dismiss it with a little laugh and punch.
"Don't you go getting any ideas, Tonks!"
He held up his arms in a gesture of surrender. "Gentleman!"
Alice scoffed in front of them. "Right."
...
"I'm really, really not sure about this, Ted." Andromeda whispered as she stood in front of the building, from which loud music was making her heart jump with every beat, and lights were spilling onto the pavement. Just in front of them, Alice and Frank were conversing in low voices, in the mixture of arguing and flirting and sweetness that was unique only to them.
"You've got all the way here, Andy." Ted reminded her. He grabbed her hand. And out of nowhere, Andromeda Black felt a rush of something, though she didn't think there was a single word in the English dictionary that could possibly describe quite what it was. "There's no turning back."
" No." She whispered. There had never been any turning back. Not with Ted.
...
"Looks like Alice and Frank are having a nice time!" Andy laughed. She had to put her lips right to his ear to be heard, and it sent shivers down Ted's spine. He shook himself mentally. He'd been acting like the world's biggest idiot ever since he'd first met her. He blamed it on the dress.
Mentally, he slapped himself. Holy Merlin, did he have a death wish? He was mudblood. Just a filthy little mudblood. And whilst she enjoyed his friendship (at least so far as he was aware)... He had the capability to get them both into some serious trouble here.
No one crossed the wand of Bellatrix Lestrange. Especially not if they were their sister, and especially not if their name was Andromeda Black. Especially not if they were a mudblood, and their name was Ted Tonks.
"Yeah, they do, don't they." Ted laughed. "What do you think?"
"I think I can't believe we've never done this before!" Andromeda laughed, yelling over the music. "This is amazing!"
Ted laughed again, because her eyes were bright, and there was this huge smile on her face which was so goddamn adorable.
Andromeda looked at him, smiling and laughing, and noticed several things in the space of a second; 1. That he'd grown a lot taller over the summer (Why, why is that always so attractive? She had no idea) 2. That his hair was falling in his eyes, and he was pushing it away, and that it was really quite cute. 3. That he had nice eyes- a really rich dark brown, that looked like they could be the window to his soul, that contained all his secrets... That sent shivers up her spine. 4. That there was an olive undertone to his skin, muscle was straining against his t-shirt, he had beautiful hands, an amazing voice and smelled really quite sensational. And then... Number 5. That she really wanted to kiss him.
So she did.
It was only a couple of seconds in reality, but it seemed like an eternity. He broke away, gasping. Later, Andromeda would feel panic, hysteria, maybe even regret. But in that moment, with Ted's hands on her arms and his eyes wide, everything seemed completely and utterly right.
"What the hell was that?" He asked.
"I think it was called a kiss, Ted." She laughed. Suddenly, comprehension dawned on her face. "Holy Merlin! I just kissed you, didn't I?"
Slowly, looking rather as if someone had hit him between the eyes with a very large saucepan, he nodded. "Felt like it."
"Bloody Morgana! What do we do?"
An internal battle passed over his face, but only for a moment, before a smile broke out. "This." He told her simply.
And he kissed her again. And in that moment, nothing mattered.
"Andy!" Ted Tonks was somewhat pink in the face as he threw open the door to greet her, a grin as wide as any Andromeda had ever seen stretching from ear to ear. "Come in, come in."
Ushered out of the cold, Andromeda looked around the little hallway with interest. Brightly lit, with Christmas lights strung along the banister and paper chains hanging from the walls, the house gave off an aura of homely comforts and snugness completely absent from the Black family manor.
"Can I- uh- take your coat?" Ted asked.
"You may." She giggled. Giggled? She couldn't recall giggling in- well, ever. Such sounds were improper, her mother had told her- unladylike. But there was freedom in the surplus sound, in the carefree happiness it contained. It was a sound that reminded her of Ted- a happy sound. A sound that meant you were going to be happy, and damn everyone who said that you couldn't.
Damn the stiff, god-awful conventions of Pureblooded life.
There was the smell of freshly baked bread in the air, and something sweet and seasonal- nutmeg, perhaps, or cinnamon. "You look beautiful." Ted told her, his eyes wide- that transparent honesty that had made her fall for him in the first place evident in every line of his face. She smiled.
"Thank you."
"I wasn't sure you'd make it." He said, hanging her coat- something she'd purchased in absolute secrecy from a muggle store, a difficult transaction involving a lot of sneaking and pieces of paper she didn't understand- on a hook.
"My mother thinks I'm at Patricia Scott's house, looking at dress robes ready for her party. She's going to be 'launched on society' or something or other."
Ted wrinkled his nose. "What is she, a ship?"
Andromeda felt gripped by the giggles again. Her eyes sparkled with mirth. "I think Patricia is more of one of those great big rockets muggles always talk about, ready to crash land on the moon."
Ted laughed, and took her hand. The familiarity felt alien, but also heart achingly familiar. He brushed his lips against her cheek. "I'm glad you made it, anyway."
"Ted!" Called a woman. "Is there someone at the door?"
"It's just Andromeda, mum." Ted called back. In any other circumstances, Andromeda would have winced at the raised voices. In Ted's home, however, they seemed sort of appropriate. There was the sound of clattering cutlery, and running footsteps.
"Ted!" She reprimanded. "The first girl you've ever brought home isn't 'just Andromeda'. And for heavens sake, show her out of the hallway! Honestly, you'd have thought I'd taught you no manners at all!" She ushered them through to a warm, brightly lit kitchen, where a dark haired girl was talking animatedly with her hands.
"Marshmallow potatoes isn't made up! It's a completely amazing dish, with sweet and savoury complimenting each other perfectly. Honestly, I don't see how anyone can get enough of marshmallows! It's a safe bet. And Teddy said she had a sweet tooth, didn't he?"
"Honestly, Rebecca!" The man cried, his flowery pink apron showing off a slightly pot bellied stomach. "You go to university for one term, and suddenly you're full of all these made up food sources and ridiculous ideas about the conventions of dining. Who are we to say what Teddy's girlfriend likes? We're much safer sticking with a traditional roast dinner than some la-de-da marshmallow nonsense you've somehow come up with."
"I haven't made it up! It's American, and it's really popular, not to mention delicious and-"
"A-ha!" Cried the man. "See! What is wrong with conventional English cooking?"
"Nothing, I just-"
Ted gave away the little group stood in the doorway by laughing. The girl and her father looked up. Rebecca stood up, revealing a pretty black dress Narcissa would have been envious of, paired with dark pyjama bottoms- an interesting fashion statement. Ted had spoken of her with fondness, a kind reverence, adoration even. But there had been something uncomfortable in his laugh when he'd assured Andromeda that she would love her. He had gone on to explain that she was 'eccentric' and 'unconventional', which Andromeda took to mean that she was completely mad. She had, after all, her fair share of crazy relatives.
Now, however, Andromeda realised that there really was something unconventional about her- and unconventional was the word. She wasn't crazy. If there was madness there, it was not of the Bellatrix kind- a nice crazy. An I-don't-care-what-you-think crazy.
And eccentricity... Well, Andromeda had never claimed to be an expert on Muggle behaviour, but was fairly certain that they didn't generally pair elegant evening dresses with pinstriped pyjama bottoms.
Lost in her train of thought, she didn't notice the girl running towards her until she was bowled to the ground. Laughing, the girl kissed her on the cheek. "I like her, Ted." She said. "We're going to be very good friends."
Ted merely groaned. "I told you, Becca, gentle."
Becca laughed, getting up, her hair tickling Andromeda's face. Smiling, she offered Andromeda a hand. "And I told you I would be nothing but myself."
Usually intensely wary of physical contact in general, cringing away from any mention of familiarity with anyone but Ted or her sisters, Andromeda should have felt horrified. Awkward and shocked and generally uncomfortable.
She should not have felt warmth, spreading through her like she'd just drank an entire jug of hot chocolate.
"It's fine. I like the sound of potato marshamallows and conventional roast potatoes. I'll be happy with either." She smiled at Ted- a real smile, to show it really was fine. He bit his lip. She grinned.
"Honestly." She told him. "I like her, too, Ted. And I think she's right." She smiled at Rebecca, her air that of someone giving away a confidence. "We're going to be very good friends."
And they were.
"So, you have my parents completely and utterly in love with you." Ted smiled, coming up behind her and resting his head on her shoulder. Andromeda turned around.
"Oh?" She asked, smiling as she ran a hand through Ted's hair. "I've been told I am very lovable."
"I wonder who told you that?" Ted laughed, flopping down onto the blanket beside her and pulling her towards him.
"Oh, just some hopeless admirer." Andromeda asked. "It was quite pathetic, really. He kept asking me to marry him, can you imagine?"
Ted frowned. "You know, I'm fairly certain I'd remember asking to marry you."
Andromeda turned back to her book, a lock of hair falling across her cheek and a slight smile gracing her lips. "Now, whoever said I was talking about you?"
"Oh, ha ha. I forgot about your fancy string of pureblooded lovers that you so surreptitiously go behind my back with. How silly of me."
"Mmm-hmm." Andromeda replied, though she was laughing. Finally conceding defeat, she marked the page and lay down beside Ted, staring up at the cloudless blue sky. It was cold, even for December, but she'd be lying if she said this wasn't the best picnic she'd ever been on. And, in the muggle world, away from prying eyes- some things just couldn't be helped. But...
"You know, I thought it was rather romantic, all this secrecy and sneaking around. Now I just feel pathetic."
Ted turned his head to look at her. "Why?"
She bit her lip thoughtfully, a habit she'd picked up from Ted. "I don't know. I guess I feel like it deserves more than that. Our relationship, I mean. It's not some silly fling, it was never about going behind my parents back, or doing something dangerous and exciting. I don't want to feel like- I don't know, like I'm ashamed of you. Ashamed of us. Because I'm not, I'm not, and I damn well want to say it. Tell the entire pureblooded world. But I mostly want you to know I'm not ashamed of you, that that's not why we're sneaking around and hanging out on a picnic blanket in the middle of winter in a muggle forest, that I know you're more than just some muggleborn I'll outgrow."
"Andy-" Ted sighed. "I know that. I never thought it. But- it's not safe yet. It's not safe to tell them."
"It's never going to be safe to tell them. And we can't go on hiding in broom cupboards and muggle cities all our lives. I can't sneak around behind my parents backs forever. I'm nearly 18, for the love of Merlin!"
"I know, Andy. But... We just have to wait a little while longer."
"Why? How much longer will we have to wait?"
Ted smiled. "Until you're ready."
Andromeda sighed, but didn't press him, suddenly realising this wasn't a fight she could win. Mostly because she didn't want to. Merlin knows, she'd talked about braving her family's wrath and facing the music enough times to know Ted was right. She wasn't ready. Not yet.
"It won't get any less dangerous, you know. However long I wait to tell them, their reaction won't be any different. I could be 60, with 3 wizarding wars set behind us, and their reaction wouldn't be any different. They've existed since the dawn of magic. One rebellious daughter they don't even know isn't going to change their mind."
"I know." Ted said, his eyes kind, and infinitely separate from her world. He'd never seemed so untouchable, and she felt the sudden urge to reach out and touch him, just to make absolutely certain he was there.
"There's talk of marrying me off, you know. 18 is practically a spinster in the pureblood society."
"Are they still discussing Rabastan then?"
Andromeda wrinkled her nose. "Yeah."
A positively dangerous look passed over Ted's face. "Well, tell them he can't have you."
"Let me guess, I'm all yours?" Andromeda teased. Part of her wanted to hear him say it... Part of her needed him to say it. Needed to belong to someone, to feel herself somewhere.
Ted took her by surprise, however, and kissed her on the cheek, reaching over to grab the picnic hamper.
"No. You're all yourself, and that is the only person you can possibly be, or belong to. No marital law could ever change that, no bonding charms with Rabastan Lestrange." He smiled. "Not that it matters, because there won't be a marital law, or bonding charm, ever performed over you and Rabastan Lestrange. Unless you want one, of course."
Andromeda felt so happy she could sing. And, cliché as it was, she couldn't quite bring herself to care.
"And where have you been?"
Andromeda whirled around, praising everyone from Merlin to Mundungus Fletcher that she'd had the foresight to change out of her muggle clothes. This was suspicious enough of a circumstance as it was, without factoring muggle clothes into the equation. She bit her lip as Bella unfolded herself from the chair she was sat in, and became distinguishable from the shadows.
She twirled her wand almost absently, but there was a dark glint in her eyes that told Andromeda her sister wouldn't wait forever.
Time to lie, and hope against hope that Bella couldn't see it in her face. Her odds weren't good, though. With Bella and with Cissy, there had never been any need for secrecy. United against their parents, who were strangers in their own home, bonded like nothing else thanks to years spent hidden under the covers giggling late into the night and mindless games to while away the hours... They were more like extensions of the same person.
Until a certain Lucius Malfoy had kissed Cissy at her coming of age ball, and made her heart skip a thousand beats, before being told he'd always be hers.
Until a dark, hooded figure had looked Bella right in the eyes, ran a long fingernail down her cheek, and whispered that she was important.
That she was needed in the eradication of mudbloods and filth.
It struck Andy, for the first time, that perhaps she didn't know her sisters at all. And that they definitely didn't know her.
"Evening, Bella." She said. "I've been at Patricia's. I just have to go change, and I'll be right down. Didn't Cissy want to discuss her dress robes for this evening with us? And I'd appreciate it if you had the time to do my hair, the same as last time, I think. Although-" She trailed off at the glint of Bella's eyes as she stepped forwards.
"Strange." She breathed, her voice uncharacteristically soft.
"What- what is strange, Bella?"
"You, Andy." Bella laughed, a mirthless laugh that chilled Andromeda right to the bone. "Well, either that or Patricia Scott has outdone herself on the lies. Let's be honest, it wouldn't be the first time."
Andy hardly dared to breath. "What do you-"
Bella took a step closer to her sister, so close in fact that Andy could feel every breath Bella took on her face- yet it wasn't comforting, as it should be. It didn't feel familiar or intimate like it usually would- it felt dangerous, and every pore in her body screamed at her to run.
Instead, she met her sister's eyes unblinkingly, and held perfectly still. Bella reached out a hand and trailed her fingertip along Andy's face, the nail biting into her skin, yet not so hard that it couldn't be dismissed as gentility if anyone else was watching. Slowly, she ran her fingers through her sisters hair, teasing it out of it's hair slides (granted, it required little encouragement), and put her lips to her ear.
"Dear, dear. You appear a little rumpled, Andy."
Andy looked down, and, biting her lip, realised that one of the buttons on her dress robes was done up wrong. She looked at Bella.
"You're the one who's always telling me to have a little more fun before I'm tied down in marriage, Bella." She said, with a boldness she did not feel.
"Hmm." Bella murmured, taking a hold of her sister's face and twisting it to show it off in a better light. "You really are beautiful, Andy. Such a waste of a pretty young face."
"Waste, Bella?"
Bellatrix Black laughed, a cold, mirthless laugh. Her eyes glinted as she stared hard at her sister, and Andy prickled with the first tingling sense of foreboding. "You could be great, Andy. The most famous Black woman who ever lived. I've seen it. Your potential. The dark lord has seen it. Being beautiful is all well and good, but you and me... We're powerful. And you... you could be something great."
Andy shivered. "I don't want greatness. Not the kind you seek."
Bella laughed again. "There are only power, and those too weak to seek it."
Andromeda Black looked at her sister as if she had never seen her before. "Bella... Where did you hear that?"
"It doesn't matter."
"But... That's dark arts propaganda, Bella! And... Holy Merlin! You said the dark lord! Bella, what the hell has happened-"
"Enough!" Her sister cried, and Andy's eyes widened, for in her hand was her wand. Andromeda didn't have her wand to hand, but it didn't matter. She could never curse Bella. Now, however, it seemed that Bella could curse her, and perhaps would.
"I know where you've been, Andy. Sullying our family name, dirtying your blood. With a mudblood."
Andromeda shook her head urgently. "No, Bella, you've got it wrong, I don't-"
Bella laughed derisively. "Please don't insult me, Andromeda Black. You're not that hard to follow. Little Reg did it for me." Sparks flew out of her wand tip. "Now. I had half a mind to tell mother and father right away. I had half a mind to kill you for so much looking at that filth." She trailed her wand tip over Andromeda's face, down her bare neck, and came to rest directly over her heart. Andromeda would have screamed, but she couldn't draw breath, and in any case she doubted it would have helped. "Instead, I am going to warn you. You are not the first pureblooded girl to be drawn to a mudblood in such a way, and nor will you be the last. It's natural, to want what you cannot have. But he is lesser than us. He's unfit to wipe the dirt of your shoes. You're bigger and better than he ever could be, and it's time you realised who you are. You have Black blood running through your veins. Don't soil it with trifles like him."
A day of revelations, Andromeda thought drily. She'd always known Bella, and even Cissy sometimes, had a different reaction to the values they were taught as children. But never, until the moment she saw that passion spark in Bella's eyes, heard that excitement in her voice, did she realise that Bella truly believed what she was saying.
And that Andromeda didn't in the slightest.
"No." She whispered, so softly Bella wouldn't even have heard it, had she not seen the look in her eyes.
"No? No? Andromeda Black, if it had been anyone but you they would have been dead at my feet. I'm giving you a simple choice here, and you'd better chose well, because you don't get another chance at this. End it, or I will."
Andromeda Black took a deep breath. And in that moment, Bellatrix Black understood she never would. Smiling, that strange, mirthless smile, filled with passion and hatred and fire, she twisted her wand just under her sister's ribcage.
As if this wasn't the girl that she'd played silent clapping games with as a child, frightened their parents would hear and punish them. As if this wasn't the girl she'd held and whispered assurances to as she cried over her first (and unrequited) love. As if this wasn't the girl she'd dressed up like a doll and fussed over for her coming of age ball, taught to ride a broomstick, to read and write, to flirt and kiss. As if this wasn't the girl she'd watched grow up, and loved as the only thing in the world such a girl as herself was capable of loving.
In that moment, Andromeda was just another bloodtraitor. And to Bellatrix Black, that was all she could ever be.
"Do it." Andromeda dared her, unnatural coldness in her voice. "In fact, I dare you."
"Bella!"
Only that voice could have jolted Bella or Andy from their stalemate, for that cry was familiar and beautiful to them both, and filled with terror. Bella threw their sister a sideways glance, before spitting- "Keep out of this, Cissy."
Andy laughed. "Goddammit Bella, are you going to keep it from her forever? When I'm dead on the drawing room floor, what are you going to tell them? That it was an accident? A dreadful accident? Whoops, I killed my own sister. Oh, deary me. But my parents will clean up after me. Heaven forbid there be a scandal. Heaven forbid we marry mudbloods, even if we love them. Even if we love them so much we'd be willing to give up anything. Even the sisters we loved more than anything else in the world. Because they forsook us first. And you were the one to point a wand in my face."
Hatred flared in Bella's eyes, and Andy suddenly realised that it wasn't for her. It wasn't for her, and this wasn't about her. It never had been.
"Bella! Please, please stop! It's Andy!" Cissy cried again, as Bella twisted the wand. Andromeda's breath came in short gasps, and she was struggling for breath, and the world seemed to be spinning. And all there was was her, her and Bella and Cissy, fighting over Ted.
Ted. Not the mudblood. He was nothing, nothing, if not the most important person she'd ever had in her life. And Bella and Cissy would never known that. Never, because they couldn't see past who his parents were.
"He makes me happy, Bella." Andromeda whispered. "He makes me happy, and that's all I want. I thought that was all you wanted for me, too."
But that wasn't true. Because Bellatrix Black wanted her sister to be happy, but she wanted it to be the right kind of happiness. And as for love, that was simple. The only person Andromeda Black was allowed to love was her.
"No!" Snarled Bella, that dangerous, mad glint in her eye. "No. He can't have you! He can't have you! You belong to me!"
Bella was screaming, tears pouring down her face, and Andy closed her eyes. Her sister had never cried before. And her cries... He can't have you.
Ted had said the exact same thing this afternoon.
Cissy was sobbing heartbrokenly, but oddly, Bella was the only one Andy could hear.
"No one can have me, Bella. I belong to me."
Bella twisted her wand a little further, and brought her face, if possible, even more offensively close to her sister's. "If I can't have you, then no one can."
Andromeda laughed mirthlessly, gagging a little on the blood clogging her throat. And she wanted to think of Ted, but all she could think was thisishowitendsthisishowitendsthisishowitendsandIamnotafraid.
There were worse ways to die than at the hand of someone you loved, or rather, at the hand of love itself, torn between the two. And worse things to die for than a love which, in the end, could never be yours. And should never have been hers in the first place.
She was a Black. She shouldn't have had a story like this. But she had, and she was so infinitely grateful for the full life Ted had given her. Because she'd never been alive. Not until she met him.
"He's a mudblood. I don't expect he'll last more than a few days in the new order of things, anyway. He might be dead before nightfall."
Bella was taunting her, and for the first time ever, it worked. Though Andy had no wand in her hand, though she had never in her life raised her hand or wand against anyone in offense or defense outside the classroom, Bellatrix Black flew backwards off her, right across the room. Hitting her head with a loud crack on the mantelpiece.
Andromeda wrenched the wand out of her sister's hand and held it inches from her face. Later, Narcissa would whisper to her that she had looked amazing. Scary and brilliant, with her hair flying in a non existent breeze and her expression beautiful and terrifying. It was the first time in her life Andromeda would feel true power, thrilling through her veins.
"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again, Bellatrix Black. Don't you dare."
As she faced her sister, Andy spotted Narcissa standing in the corner, terrified. Breathing out in one long exhale, she dropped Bellatrix's wand and offered her sister a hand. Frowning distrustfully, Bella took it, standing and facing her.
"It was just a fling, Bella. You were right, I was just... Pushing boundries or something. It was completely wrong of me to compromise the family name like that, and to let the mudblood drag it on that far. I- I'm really sorry."
Bella smiled, a smug, self satisfied sort of smile. Turning, Andy held out her arms for Cissy, as if she were 5 again, and Cissy went straight into them. As if her really were 5 again, she buried her face in Andy's chest and let out a strangled sob.
"Don't ever do that to me again." She whispered.
Pressing her lips against her younger sister's hair, Andy breathed in the smell of her, promising she'd remember everything about this moment until the day she died. Cissy smelt of sweetness and vanilla and flowers and childhood.
Without a word, Andy held out her other arm for Bella. Her sister went into it without question, kissing her on the cheek. "It was for your own good, Andy." She said, simply.
Andy didn't trust herself to reply to that. Instead, she smiled at her sister. "You were right, Bella, about one thing. I belong to you. No matter who we marry, they'll never have all of us, because we belong to each other. I promise."
Bellatrix smiled- the truest smile she was capable of, and whispered against her sister. "No matter what."
And in that moment, Andy recognised the truth of it. Her sisters would hate her for the choice she was about to make. But the truest part of themselves would always be left in this room. The innocence and purity of a child. Of three children who had played silent clapping games, watched balls enviously from afar, and whispered and giggled well into the night.
People claimed Bella didn't know what love was, that she wasn't capable of it. But she was. It was just stolen by madness and darkness. People claimed Cissy was cold and aloof, but she wasn't. She was just hiding away the pain and fear of more loss.
They never would have become who they did, if their sister hadn't left them, that very same night.
Careful to make not a sound, Andromeda Black threw one last look at the part, eyes feasting on the swirling mass of dancers. Laughing, (albeit in a somewhat mirthless, scary fashion) Bella made a pretty sight that evening, her hair cascading down her back and her red dress robes hugging her pretty figure, Rodolphus on her arm and a drink in her hand. She'd be okay. She always was.
Her parents- strangers that they were- were talking with her Uncle Alphad and the pretty woman on his arm. She may not know her parents, but she was close with her Uncle. She'd miss him. Silently, she said goodbye.
Patricia- that traitor- was dancing with Avery. Well, she wished them well. Some people, she reasoned, wouldn't mind a husband who was in no way interested in her sexually (and in love with their best mate, but that was another story, one involving Rabastan and Will and a broom closet, and whilst aforementioned relationship seemed huge at the time, it hardly mattered to Andromeda now) so long as he had plenty of gold to make up for it. And Will Avery most certainly did. Patricia would get to live the glamorous life of which she'd always dreamed, and either one of them could sell her out to Bella any time they pleased. It wasn't like Bella would want to hear her name so much as spoken out loud after this.
But as hard as she looked, she couldn't find Cissy, and it was probably better that way. If she had of found her youngest sister, she might not have been able to leave, might have never been able to stop looking. It was better this way. With no goodbyes, no explanations.
Cissy was stronger than anyone gave her credit for. She'd be fine.
Blinded by tears, Andromeda slipped down the hall, off to seek the life of her choosing. And for the first time in her life, she knew she had a say in the way her life would be, that she was free.
Only, it didn't happen quit like that.
"I suppose you thought you'd rush off without a goodbye."
She was sat on the front steps, her light blue dress puddled around her ankles and her hair tumbling down her back, wrapped in a heavy robes but shivering anyway. Narcissa Black.
There didn't seem to be much point in denying it. She had been caught, after all, sneaking out of the back door, wearing jeans and t-shirt for a masked ball, carrying a backpack of all her most treasured possessions. "I-"
"Save it, Andy." She whispered softly, her voice broken, choking back tears. "I know."
And she did. Better than any of them. Narcissa understood the human need for love like she understood the human need to breath. And she knew Andromeda.
"I didn't want to leave you, Cissy."
"Then take me with you."
She could have proclaimed a sudden desire to become the next minister for magic and Andy wouldn't have been more shocked. "I- what?"
"Take me with you." Cissy repeated. "You're the only person who's ever seen past the whole pureblooded lady act, the cold aloofness. You're the only person who's ever seen me for me, the only person who's ever loved me. Take me with me."
"What about Bella?" Andromeda breathed, wanting so badly to just comply that each breath hurt her to take, yet she knew she couldn't. There was something fundamentally wrong about the idea of Cissy, who loved pretty dresses and elegant balls, who liked to be wooed like a lady and putting on refined airs, leaving the family she loved and the world she cherished.
"What about Bella?"
Cissy looked at her, her eyes ominous. "She's not Bella anymore, Andy. I know you see it, even when you're trying not to. She was going to kill you this afternoon. I don't recognise her anymore, and... It scares me."
"Lucius-"
Narcissa scoffed. "Lucius my backside. He doesn't love me. He wants me like Rabastan wanted you. He wants to show me off and buy me pretty things. A trophy wife. Holy Merlin, Andy, there has to be more to life than that!"
Andy stared at her little sister like she'd never seen her before, because so far as she was aware, a trophy wife was all Narcissa had ever wanted to be. "But- you love him."
"Yes." Narcissa said heavily. "But he doesn't love me. Not really."
Andromeda hesitated, biting her tongue. And yet... She sat down heavily on the step next to her sister and pulled her head into her lap. The familiarity of the gesture was too much for Cissy, who, for the second time that day, began to sob.
"Don't cry, darling." Andromeda whispered, throwing a frantic look at the door. "Hush now, don't cry."
Cissy sniffed. "It's just- I can't lose you, Andy. And if you walk away, then I will. You'll go and marry that boy, and I'll never see you again. And it can't end that way."
A thousand unsaid moments seem to pass between them, and Andy felt an overwhelming affection for her baby sister. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten, and tried to will herself to let go and walk into the night. But she couldn't.
"When you say it like that, it sounds awfully romantic." Andromeda sighed. "Like something out of a fairy book. Who would've thought being in a fairy tale would be so painful? I wonder if the princess's heart felt a lot like it was breaking as her knight rescued her from the topmost tower."
Cissy sniffed. "I feel a lot like everything in me is breaking. Like you're missing, even as you sit right there."
Cissy had always been an eloquent speaker, when she actually spoke, and opened up. Andy just stared at her.
"Who would've thought you'd be the one to run away for love?" Narcissa asked. And in truth, Andromeda thought, she had a point. She was far too sensible, and far too cynical, to ever have been the one to do something like this.
Yet here she was.
Andromeda chewed her lip thoughtfully. "You know, it really does sound romantic when you say it like that. But it's not because of Ted I'm running away for, not really. He just showed me who I really was all along, and- I think I knew long before then. I don't fit in in there, I don't agree with it. Any of it. And this house... It's never been a home. Love isn't enough, Cissy, no matter what the romantics say. But courage... The courage to do what you have to, even if it's hard- that's all you need to last a lifetime."
Cissy sniffed. "You should have been a Gyffindor. Or maybe a Hufflepuff, when you're talking all about love and friendship. Or a Ravenclaw, coming out with clever twaddle like that."
"Yes. But I was never a Slytherin, no matter what house the hat sorted me into."
Cissy sighed, finally seeing what her sister was saying. "And I was. I was always a Slytherin. I didn't even have to try."
"No, you didn't. And that's nothing to be ashamed of... It's part of who you are. You fit in there, Cissy. It's where you belong, and if I took you away, you'd be bitterly unhappy, and there'd be no turning back. I couldn't do that to you. Even if it means leaving you."
Cissy gave a strangled sob. "I always did lack your courage, Andy. I just never thought that would mean I'd lose you."
"Hey." Andy whispered, pulling her them both to their feet and embracing her tightly. "You are not losing me. I meant what I said, you know. About belonging to each other, no matter who we marry. If you ever dare, maybe you'll tell Bella that for me. I'm not leaving you. I'm setting you free."
"Free from what?"
"Uncertainty. You've always feared that I was different. And now you know."
Cissy snorted even as tears tracked down her cheeks. "I'm going to miss your lame philosophical speeches, Andy."
Andy laughed, even as she too sobbed. "Why? I'll be right here." And she put a hand over her sister's heart.
"Go." Cissy whispered, hugging her sister tight. "Before I lose all my composure and refuse to let you."
"When have I ever had to ask your permission to do anything?" Andromeda laughed. "I love you, Narcissa. And I always will."
"Me, too." Narcissa Black whispered, though Andy was no more than a shadow in the grounds by now, almost at the gates.
And as Bellatrix Black watched her sister streak across the lawn as fast as her legs would carry her, she felt herself gripped by the cold sense of fury that meant nothing good for her sister, or the next mudblood or bloodtraitor she saw.
But if anyone had ever asked her why she didn't stop Andromeda as she ran out the gates, she wouldn't have been able to come up with an answer.