Harry Potter woke up one morning and discovered that he was emo.
"I hate my life," he whined. "If she doesn't love me I don't want to live anymore." Ron groaned.
"Shut up, you don't know anything about suffering," he moaned. "My hair isn't the right color. It doesn't reflect the deep, miserable darkness of my soul like yours does."
They both got out of their respective beds and stared at one another.
"Your pants aren't tight enough," observed Ron rather unkindly.
"Your hair is too red," Harry countered. As if on cue, Hermione burst into the room, crying hysterically.
"It's not worth it," she sobbed. "Ron, I can't live without you! Please say you love me!" Ron started crying too.
"I love you, Hermione, but we can't be together until I dye my hair!" Harry produced a conveniently placed box of Hair Dye for Emos.
"Here, Ron," he said. "Ease your suffering and use my hair dye." Ron and Hermione took the box, and still sobbing in each other's arms, retreated into the bathroom to dye Ron's hair.
Harry, left alone in the room, took a razor off his dressing table and began systematically making shallow cuts on the inside of his wrist.
"I love you, Ginny! I love you so much! I would cut my life into pieces for you!"