Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Let alone Naruto or any of the characters.
He had always looked a little sad to her. It wasn't anything in particular; maybe the way his eyes lost a little shine when he thought no one was looking, maybe the way he was always looking away into the distance as if looking at something the rest of the world didn't see.
No one else had noticed. But maybe that was all because no one had watched him for as long as she had. Knowing him all her life had granted her many an opportunity to sneak glances; curious to see what a boy like him did with his time.
Sakura Haruno's fascination with him had begun long before she'd met and become friends with his younger brother. The day he had saved and defended her against the bullies who'd liked verbally abusing her; paying particular attention to her forehead; was the day her heart had been sealed.
Itachi Uchiha had saved her and had even complimented the forehead the bullies so liked to mention and insult. A fascination had been formed. Her six year old mind had wondered what superheroes like him did in their spare time. Did they have bravery for breakfast and courage for supper?
She had been in awe. No one but her parents had ever stood up for her. He was the first. Her dark haired saviour with the dark eyes that said so little but told her so much. He had walked away and she had been left staring at his back left to wonder if he would save her again.
Two years later and she had seen him again. The dark haired hero with the sad eyes. He'd been picking up his little brother and she was happy to discover that his brother was Sasuke, a friend of hers. He'd smiled at his little brother. He'd never even seen her.
At nine, she held the biggest crush ever for one of her best friend's older brother. She'd seen glimpses of him every now and then but he never noticed her. He must have long forgotten about her. She was just another face in the crowd, which hurt because, hello, she had pink hair. He must have gone around saving other girls with pink hair from their bullies.
Her crush never diminished even though it was clear he didn't even know she existed. It was hopeless but aren't most crushes?
They met officially when Sasuke invited her and her other friend Naruto over at his place. Sasuke had introduced them and Itachi had smiled slightly at her. He'd said hello and had asked if anyone was still giving her trouble.
Her whole body had filled with elation.
He remembered.
While most of the girls dreamt only of the cool, smart, talented Sasuke Uchiha, she only dreamt of Itachi.
She'd finally become his friend. She'd discovered so much about him. He was not only good looking but extremely smart and talented. He still intrigued her. When she went to the Uchiha estate, it wasn't always to see Sasuke. He always welcomed her and never told her she was a crazy stalker.
All of junior high and most of high school was spent dreaming up scenarios of them being together. Her dating life had been a disaster because none of the boys were him.
She always found a way to justify her break-ups with them- too short, too tall, too arrogant, not arrogant enough, too nice; not nice enough.
She'd break up important dates to go see him when he was home from university for a short while. They'd hang out in his room discussing everything they could; his mother's death when Sasuke was born, his father's cold attitude towards his youngest son because he blamed him for his wife's death, her hurt over her parents loving work and each other more than they cared for her.
When she turned eighteen, she finally got the nerve to confess her feelings to him. It was not healthy keeping all these feelings bottled up since childhood.
Sakura had travelled to his apartment near his university. She'd prepared herself, prepared a speech, had done up her hair, her usual attire of jeans and sneakers traded in for a sexy but classy black dress with heels and even her best underwear for a boost of inner confidence.
She'd stood across from his apartment, trying to steel herself. Telling herself she was a strong woman. A man like Itachi needed a strong woman; one who was strong enough to punch through his walls, one who was strong enough to fight his pain and sadness and defeat them. She would be the one to finally remove the sadness and loneliness he hid from everyone but her.
But before she'd taken a step, a girl had come out of his door. Sakura had watched as the girl had wrapped her tan arms around him and kissed him. She'd quickly turned away but not fast enough. The girl was tall with long wavy dark hair and curves that deserved a second look. She was beautiful with confidence coming off her in waves and very feminine; everything Sakura felt she wasn't.
Sakura may have been wearing a dress but everyone had known she was a tom boy at heart. She'd only worn dresses and skirts for special occasions; her goto attire was tees, jeans and sneakers. The only thing outright girly about her was her hair.
Next to the curvy girl that had exited his apartment, Sakura had felt like a kid playing dress-up. Despite this, she was still going to confess. She had to.
And so, as soon as the girl disappeared and Itachi was back in his apartment, she'd knocked on his door. He'd taken in her attire slowly, from top to bottom to top again, his eyes taking on an intensity she'd never seen before. It had made hope blossom.
She'd entered. She'd said her piece. He never smiled. He never frowned. No reaction, just his silence and his piercing stare that always noticed too much.
And then he'd said, "You're too young, Sakura," and before she protested, "Nothing can ever happen between us."
Too young.
She had never really felt their difference in age. Whenever she talked to him, she never at all felt the difference. She'd felt it then. The way he'd looked at her and talked to her made her feel so naïve and like a child who had done something less than pleasing.
She had felt so small, something she'd never felt around him.
And the coffin on the nail, "You're like a little sister to me,"
She had swallowed her tears and she had gone home.
Sakura didn't see Itachi for three months. It didn't seem like much to anyone who didn't know the dynamics between her and Itachi; he came down from university regularly and she went to see him just as regularly.
He still came down but Sakura's friends noticed when she never once made an effort to be around him.
Sasuke, who'd had a front row seat to everything almost from the beginning, had been instantly suspicious. He'd known she had feelings for his brother long before she'd told him about it in an embarrassed heap. He had noticed her absence when his brother was present. He had also noticed his brother's foul, snappy mood. But it wasn't his problem they were both idiots.
He had always been a good liar. She had always been able to tell his truths from his lies. Well, almost always.
If Itachi saw her as nothing but an annoying sister then Sakura was a badass ninja with pink hair who could kill with emerald bullets from her eyes. Unless Itachi was some closet pervert who liked to sneak secret glances of want for his little sisters, Sakura was very sure he wanted her.
She knew he had been lying about her being too young. He had lied. If he hadn't, she was sure as hell that he wouldn't be sending her covert looks of longing.
That bastard.
Her anger at him knew no bounds.
mxxxxxm
She had stopped actively avoiding him and the awkwardness between them had abated, somewhat.
It still wasn't the same. She still didn't think she could talk to him normally. She was frustrated by him, by what he was obviously denying about them.
She missed him though. And from the little she could glean from his eyes, he felt the same.
Mxxxxxm
She tried to move on. Honestly she did. But her heart had only ever made one choice; him. It was always him and she hated herself for her weakness. She hated herself for the little hope that sparked everytime he looked at her with carefully concealed longing. And she hated when that hope had to be squashed every time he did nothing.
Sakura just had to accept that there would only ever be Itachi Uchiha for her. It would be a lonely road, but she would have to take it anyway. She had no plans of making anyone her second choice. That would be cruel.
mxxxxxxm
Two years passed. Sakura had moved far enough away for college and for the most part was enjoying herself. She could almost forget the constant ache in her heart. The new life she had carved for herself was good.
But there were days, sad contemplative days, when she was looking at the moon on quiet nights and her thoughts would drift to him. Was he looking at it as well? He had always loved the moon.
He was like the moon in that he was solitary and beautiful and sad all at the same time. Always sad. A quiet light in the darkness.
What was his life like now? Was he happy? Did he ever think of her and those days they had together before her confession? The days when they understood each other, when they were closer than any word could describe. Did he remember the feeling of having someone completely understand you, see you for everything you are and still accept you?
She laughed. Of course he didn't. He had understood her. He knew her. But the same couldn't be said for him. He had always been a mystery, an enigma. He had never completely let down his titanium walls to let her have a peak at what was beyond. He had never trusted anyone with who he really truly was. Not even her.
How was he doing really?
mxxxxxm
Sakura shared an apartment with her old friend Ino. Even with this, she rarely saw her blond friend. Ino spent most of her days... and nights with her boyfriend Sai. The two had been dating since high school and they still floated about in the honeymoon stage. It was a good set up for Sakura because most days she wanted to be alone and wallow in peace without anyone getting overly worried about her. She could admit, when she was alone, that she missed her home. She missed everything.
It was on such a day when Ino was away that there was a knock on the door. Sakura grumbled under her breath but opened the door anyway.
It was him; Itachi. He stood outside her door, somehow more handsome than she had ever seen him before.
It had been two solid years since she saw him last. Since she had moved clear across the country for college in an attempt they both knew was to run from him. Memories never did him justice. The real thing stood before her and she wondered how it is she had ever managed to keep her head in his presence.
She was speechless. She didn't think he would visit unless he had urgent business with her. Unless something was wrong back at home in Konoha.
"Sakura," he said simply. And in that one utterance of her name, she knew. She understood. The look in his eyes cemented this new development.
His eyes had always looked a little sad to her. She had watched him for most of her life. And she watched, finally, as the titanium walls that barred him from her crumbled to useless dust right in front of her eyes.
Tears stung her eyes as she drifted into his arms. No more resistance. Finally, Sakura thought, she was home.