Someday I'll hope again

OK guys, I know I know that I already have the other story on the go… But I have totally got writers block for that one, so I started to write another story hoping to get some inspiration back for the other one!!

WARNING.
This is a story very close to my heart. It is all about eating disorders, something that I am writing about, for the first time, from my own experiences.

I understand that, despite what people might say about eating disorder, there is still an air of mystery and stigma that come with them. I understand that different people will view them differently, and as much as some people may not understand them, some people are "dodgy" about them. All I can say is, if you don't like the subject, then don't read.

There will be a lot of adult themes included in this fic, including eating disorders, body dysmorphia, self hatred, self injury/self harm, sex, swearing, violence, and a little domestic violence. Come on, life would be boring without all of that right?

It will be dark and angsty.

Please be warned. And once again, Don't Like? Don't Sodding Read.

And I really, really apologise if the layout of the page is off, I can't seem to control it at all!

ONWARDS!

Chapter 1.

"What now?"

"Don't you speak to me like that! I am your father, I deserve more respect than that."

"Of course you do. What is it?"

"Did you leave this here?"

"What is it?"

"You know exactly what it is."

"Unfortunately I'm not psychic Dad, you'll have to be more specific."

"This wrapper on the floor. Is it yours?"

"Yeah."

"Put it away then…. Don't stomp around the house girl! Come back here, don't walk away from me when I am speaking to you."

"What?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. It's just that I fail to see why you couldn't have picked it up for me."

"Why should I pick up your shit?"

"Because I pick up your shit when ever I clean the house."

"Don't you swear at me young lady. And when do you clean the house?"

"Don't even go there Dad, I clean up all the time."

"I am not one of your 'buddies'. Do not speak to me like that.""For God's Sake, like what?"

"Like I'm one of your mates. I am not your 'mate' I am your father."

"Damn right you're not a "mate"."

"Who do you think you think you're talking to?"

"Of course, how could I mistake you for a friend, unlike you, my friends speak to me even when they don't want something from me."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"The only time you attempt to speak to me is when you want to have a go at me for something or if you want something. Like for me to pick a wrapper up?"

"That is not true and you know it…"

"Oh, isn't it? Who did you speak to first today when you walked through the door today? Of course, you walked straight past me and straight to mum."

"I said hello."

"No you didn't."

"Well what do you expect, me to come and worship the ground you walk on?"

"Dad, you don't even acknowledge me when I'm stood in front of you, why would I expect you to even speak to me nicely?"

"Bullshit."

"Of course, you can't deny it. Just walk away from it all, like you always do, don't try to resolve it. I can't wait for tomorrow, I can't wait to get out of here."

"Well seen as we're sharing secrets here, I can't wait for you to go. Things are so much easier when you aren't here, you're mum and I don't fight when you're not here…"

"Of course, that's what really matters, you and mum. As long as you and mum are happy, that's ok. You couldn't give a fuck about me, and I know it. Mum is the only thing in you're life. I just get in the way right? I just make her share her attention that should be given entirely to you."

"You know that's not true."

"No I don't. In fact, I know that it is true. And you wonder why I hate it here? When that is how my own father sees me, nothing more than a complication for you and mum."

"You want the truth? Ok, yeah, you're right. My life would be a lot easier if you weren't here. Me and mum argue all the time because of you. I love her so much, when you eventually leave, it will be me and her together, spending life together until the end. We will just be some people who you drag your kids to see on a Sunday, but me and mum will be in it together till the end. I couldn't give a damn about you, your mother in the person who I am going to be spending my life with."

"… Of course. You're life has no room for me."

"Oh God… wait…, wait, please I didn't mean it like that… come back…"

"Then how did you mean it? You can't really confuse 'I couldn't give a damn about you' with anything else?"

"I said come back here!"

"I have nothing else to say to you…"

"I said C O M E B A C K!!"

"No!"

"You ignorant little…"

"Get off me!"

"Oh god… I'm sorry, oh my god, it's ok, shit it's bleeding, ok, wait there… sit up, come on… Hermione? Hermione, sit up quickly? Hermione? Open your eyes… Oh shit…."

Work with me here people, I've been out of writing for like, ages!!

Constructive reviews are of course welcome. As are flames, except I roast them on my little bonfire and eat them with soy sauce for lunch.

The reason I wrote this was because I found that a lot of other people who tried to write about EDs (eating disorders) did it very, very badly. Like "Hermione threw up and Ginny walked in, 'Hermione you're so thin!' 'Ginny I'm anorexic.' 'We all know, don't worry about it.'" I mean, come on, what is that?? (That isn't an actual story, just my example)

And lets admit it, our Sevvie doesn't have a reason to get close to anyone unless it's full of angsty plotline that he can relate to!! And we all want Sevvie to get it on with someone... ;-) Well at least I do!!