Daniel my best friend invited me to some party. It's meant to be 'the best party of the year'. But that's what he said about the last one and I ended up tripping into the pool as most of the people had passed out in their own puke. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to stay at home and have a guys night in. Let me get you up to speed on somethings; I am gay, it took a long time for me to accept the fact that I was, even when everybody knew as it happened to come out in the local paper (a long story) I still couldn't accept it, but now I am completely okay with it. Daniel is gay as well which is why some people say we get on well, but I think I get on well with him as i've had a crush on him since we first met and I decided tonight was the night to tell him, but then he invited me to this party. Nothing like a bit of "Dutch Courage"before I tell him right? So this is how I got here, standing in the back alley of the house where the party is being held, trying to find the right words to tell him how I feel.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, reading through the notes I wrote last night. Maroon 5 was blaring through the house, so of course, naturally, I quietly sung along to have a little break from memorising my notes "I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain, Please don't try so hard to say good bye"The song changed to something I didn't know so I went back to my notes.

I paced up and down the alley talking aloud;

Will: "Since we first met i've always liked you and I mean like like you"

Oh shit. That sounds kinda pathetic now i've said it out loud.

"There's so much noise you know, like...like this static..."

Sonny: "Do you have a habit of talking to yourself?"

Will: "Holy Shit!" I turned around "You scared the shit out of me"

Sonny: "Sorry"

He was smirking, his brown eyes glittering with humour.

Will: "It's cool, I thought that I um that I was alone"

I glazed my eyes over him. I've seen him around. I thought to myself.

"Do you go to the same shitty college as the rest of them in there"

Sonny: "Nope I was a Penguin and still am even though I left last year"

Will: "Oh right I was a Tiger up until last week."

I put my hands into my jean pockets.

Sonny: "So you know whose party this is?"

Will: "Umm, no. Do you?"

Sonny: "Uhh nah, I just got brought by some friends"

Will: "The guys I hang out with always know where there's a party of underage people and I stupidly agree to come"

Sonny: He tilted his head back and laughed heartily. It was deep sounding. Mellow. Calming. Like a deep river washing over a path of stones.

"That's silly, why would you do that?"

Will: "I have no idea"

Two girls stumbled out of the back gate "Hey Hotstuff" one slurred, rubbing her finger down my chest "Wanna hook up?"

Will: "Nah sorry"

I pulled her hand away before she got any lower than my abdomen

"Your not my type"

She huffed and stumbled off after he friend. I looked back to the guy I was just talking to, he had one eyebrow raised.

Will: "So why did you come out tonight?"

Sonny: "I don't know a laugh maybe, but you know i'm not looking for a one night stand or anything I got someone, I mean kinda, its complicated"

More people stumbled out of the gate and made their way out of the alley way.

Sonny: "So why are you out here and not in their pulling some moves on a girl with low self-esteem?"

Will: "I know, I umm...i just have this person i'm interested in"

Sonny: "What's her name?"

Will: "It's a guy"

I looked away and kicked at some stones.

Sonny: "Oh its cool by the way, i'm not gonna beat you up or anything. I'm gay too"

I turned around to look at him.

Sonny: "So what's his name?"

Will: "Daniel"

Sonny: "And what's your name?"

Will: "Will"

Sonny: "Will, I'm Sonny"

Will: "Sunny- like its sunny outside"

Sonny: "Sonny as in what an old person calls a young guy"

Will: "Oh right? Senior right?"

I think i've had too much to drink I can't rememer what he said earlier.

Sonny: "Was a Senior"

Will: "Of course"

Sonny: "What is that supposed to mean, too mature for you?"

Will: "What? Of course...i mean no...i mean no, but yes you seem mature and you have that look in your eyes"

God! I am so messing this up.

Sonny: "What look?"

Will: "The oohh i'm no longer a senior, all my nights of drunken madness is over. Welcome to the real world"

Sonny: "You have that look too. So this guy, Daniel, he uh, he doesn't like you back?"

Will: "He likes me platonically"

Sonny gave me a look as though he didn't know what I meant.

"As a friend" I clarified.

Sonny: "Oh I know what platonically means. Just because I graduated doesn't make me a moron"

Will: "I'm sorry"

Sonny: "It's cool Will. So have you tried, like actually talking to him"

Will: "No, but he's hooking up with Samuel Brice tonight.

Sonny: "Ooo my friend hooked up with him once, he is ripped"

He had a dreamy look in his eyes.

Will: "What! What are you doing to me?"

Sonny: "Sorry man, but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were in your shoes.

Will: "Well trust me their not up okay? That's why i'm out here"

Sonny: "Your hiding"

Will: "I'm not hiding"

Sonny: "Fleeing?"

Will: "No! I just...i uh...I had to get out of there, I can't exactly stand around watching the guy I like make out with someone else."

Sonny: "Want some gum?"

He digged around in his coat pocket for a bit until he pulled out a packet of gum.

Will: "No thanks i'm good"

This guy is so weird changing the conversation all the time.

"Umm yeah...i will actually"

I reaced out to grab a piece of gum. As my hand grazed his, I felt a connection that I cannot explain for the life of me. I glanced up to see that he was staring at me. I pulled my hand away.

Sonny: "I should...umm...I should get back inside my friends can't live without me."

He started to walk away. I didn't want him to go he put his hand on the gate about to open it.

Will: "Actually wait! Can I ask you something?"

Sonny just stood there looking at me, as if he was waiting for me to carry on.

"Do you think it's possible that there is something I could say to this guy, that would tell him how I feel which would just make him like fall for me?"

Sonny: "What do you have in mind?"

I pulled out my phone from my back pocket scrolling through the notes.

Will: "Daniel, Dan, lately i've been feeling like theres so much noise, you know all this static, all these voices screaming for attention teachers, parents, magazines, what's in and what's out, whose cool and whose not cool enough. Its like all this shit gets so loud it's like I can't even hear myself think. I just wanna get in my car and drive. But then I see you. I see you across the all leaning against your locker, in that leather jacket you like so much, you look bored and then you look at me and you smile. Just smile and it's like all that noise just fades away. You know?. And the only thing I can hear is the sound of your voice"

He quiet for quiet a while just staring at me, so I looked away trying not to make eye contact.

"Ahh oh no. oh my"

I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Oh god! I'm literally to embarrassed t even like..."

Sonny: "No"

Will: "I can't believe I even said that out loud"

Sonny: "No"

Will: "Even you, I can't believe I was going to say that to him"

I gestured towards the house with a wave of my hands. I put my hands on my knees and bent down breathing deeply.

Sonny: "Okay, look okay, it's not that so much, it's just that he doesn't really care about that shit you know, the noise and the magazines. I doubt he really wants to hear anything."

I sit down on the floor and Sonny kneels down next to me.

Will: "I am never gonna be his dude" I say mainly to myself

Sonny: "Not with that attitude my friend. Nope and your no longer a senior so i'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. Maybe next time you meet someone you like. You should think of yourself as a do-er not a talker.

Will: "Maybe"

I pick up a couple of stones and throw them at the kerb opposite. Some guy on a skateboard comes out of the gate. Skating to close to comfort, I scootch backwards to lean against the fence. I stared at Sonny for a while.

"You should probably be getting back, huh if your worried that your friends are going to leave"

Sonny: "Did I ask for your opinion?"

Will: "No. I was just saying that you could catch a ride home with me.

Sonny: "Oh well um yeah those manwhores will probably leave without me, i'd have to go round unhooking them like last time"

Another of my favourite songs started playing."You never lost but you never won, cause you never fought and you never moved on."

Sonny: "This song is amazing"

Will: "Yeah its amazing"

I get up and offer my hand.

"You wanna dance?"

Sonny: "Hmmm no"

Will: "pfft...wow...way to build up my confidence, it was up there and you, you just knocked it down"

Sonny: "Look i'm sorry, I just, I don't dance and I don't do pity either, those couples they make me nauseous it's like really guys really, your gonna make out right there in the middle of the freeking mall.

Will: "First of all we're alone"

I gestured to an empty alleyway.

"And second of all I was just talking about 1 dance, not even 1 dance actually its the middle of the song"

I looked down and fiddled with the string on my hoodie. Sonny jumps up.

Sonny: "Well?"

I get up and he puts both of hs hands on my hips and I put mine around his neck. We started to sway to the music.

"Why's it gotta be so hard, why's it gotta be this way. It's like I'm being torn apart, all this beautiful pain."

"All we need now is some rain and it'd be like some romantic movie"

Will: "Ha yeah"

Sonny: "Umm your balls are vibrating"

He pulled away from me, ot knowing where to look.

Will: "Wait what? Oh God"

I could feel myself going red as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

"Uh oh"

Sonny: "What? What?"

Will: "The cops are here"

Naked women came screaming out of the gate and ran down the alley way, half naked men running after them. Jack (the guy who came with me and Daniel) came running out the gate towards us.

Jack: "Their taking everybodies names, handcuffing people, it's everyman for himself"

He runs down the alleyway and turns towards us seeing us standing there just staring at him.

"Lets go"

Me and Sonny look at each other before we turn and run after him. We run until we are down some road like 3 blocks away from the party.

Sonny: "What shall we do?"

Will: "Hang on, i'll call Da..."

I see a sleek black Tesla drive past us. It felt like everything was in slow motion. Daniel was in the car with non other than Samuel Brice and they were both laughing. I turn to Sonny as the turn the corner. He is looking at me with sympathy.

Sonny: "My apartment is like 10 blocks away wanna walk with me a little?"

Will: "Yes"

The underlined words are explained here in case you are unclear of what they mean;

Dutch Courage: building up strength/courage by consuming alcohol
Platonically: friendship in which there is no romance involved.

Songs used: (Bold&Italic sentences)

Maroon 5- She will be loved.
Keaton Simons - Beautiful Pain