I've never really considered writing a 'Victoria returns' story before, but this idea just came to me and I had to write it immediately. It's set sometime during Season 3/4 of due South. I hope you enjoy it.
CHAPTER 1
"No, Dief," Constable Benton Fraser shook his head firmly as he changed into the red long johns he always wore to bed. "I'm not playing hide and seek with you anymore. You know the old Inuit saying – cheats never prosper."
Dief yapped a response and sat down defiantly.
Fraser sighed. "I don't care how much you deny it," he said, picking up a coat hanger for his brown uniform. "You were cheating. Besides, we have an early start in the morning. Ray and I are due to relieve Detectives Huey and Dewey at five in the morning, although whether Ray has his wits about him at such an hour remains to be seen. He'll need a large amount of coffee, I imagine."
Fraser hung his uniform in the closet, a little disappointed that his father wasn't there in his 'office'. He was feeling an odd sense of uneasiness tonight and playing hide and seek with a cheating wolf hadn't helped. Sometimes his father had good advice in such circumstances. Occasionally he had completely inappropriate advice, of course, but more often than not his advice was helpful.
Fraser sighed and climbed into his excuse-for-a-bed. Then he noticed Dief was still sitting in the same spot. "Sleep!" he commanded, but the wolf did not move. Fraser wasn't in the mood for a stubborn Diefenbaker tonight.
Dief yapped.
"No, you can't have a milkshake!" exclaimed Fraser in exasperation.
Dief padded out to the hall and Fraser tried to get comfortable. He closed his eyes, but then he felt a pang of guilt and sighed. He flung back the blanket and went to find Dief who was standing in the kitchen staring longingly at the fridge.
Fraser smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I snapped at you," he said as he opened the fridge door. "I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Would you like milk? I don't think a sugary drink would be advisable right before bed."
Diefenbaker was happy with milk and Fraser filled his bowl from the carton. He lapped at the milk – playing hide and seek made him thirsty - and silently accepted Fraser's apology.
Fraser left him to it and headed back to bed, but he was stopped in his tracks by a knock at the door. He went to answer it, but before he reached the door Dief bounded out of the kitchen and ran in front of him, barking loudly.
"What the matter with you?" asked Fraser, puzzled. "It could be someone in need of help."
Dief continued to growl at the door as there was a second knock, much weaker than the first.
Fraser glanced at Dief; the animal's instincts were rarely wrong. He cautiously opened the door just a crack and peered out to see who it was.
All at once he felt like he couldn't breathe and he staggered back into the hallway. "No," he gasped out.
No, it couldn't be…he'd got it wrong. His eyes must be playing tricks on him in the dark. It wasn't…it wasn't her.
He suddenly realised he'd left the door open and before he could gather his senses to close it she was in.
Victoria Metcalf.
"Ben," her voice was weak. "Help me, Ben."
"Get out," he whispered, his heart pounding in his chest.
It was really her. This wasn't a nightmare, it was real. He'd hoped he'd never see her again. Sometimes, in the middle of the night when the darkness threatened to overwhelm him he'd even hoped she was dead. But she wasn't dead, she was here. She was back.
"Please, Ben," she staggered forward. "Help me!"
Victoria was clutching her hand to her abdomen and it was then that Fraser saw the blood seeping through her fingers. Ordinarily his instincts would have kicked in and he'd have rushed to help her, but this was Victoria. Last time he'd seen her she'd almost destroyed him and he couldn't risk that again.
This must be a deception, a ruse, some kind of trap.
Fraser glanced at Diefenbaker and was shocked by the look of hatred in his lupine eyes.
"Ben…" Victoria stumbled forward.
Fraser couldn't help himself – he ran forward to stop her collapsing and she fell into his arms.
Fraser's stomach lurched as his senses absorbed her presence. Her long dark hair brushing against his hands, her scent wafting past his nose, her soft skin against his…nothing had changed.
"What happened?" he asked urgently, but she couldn't reply.
Fraser lifted her into his arms and carried her to the sofa in the other room.
Why are you here? That's what he really wanted to ask her, but that would have to wait. There was a lot of blood and he couldn't let her die.
"I was…attacked," replied Victoria and she let out a low moan of pain.
"Let me see," Fraser urged and he peeled away the blood soaked layers of clothing, tearing open her silk blouse to reveal a small, but deep wound. "Knife?" he queried and Victoria nodded.
Fraser had a million questions to ask her, but how, why and who were unimportant for now. She was barely conscious.
"Dief, I need a towel, a cloth, anything," he said, turning to his wolf who had been watching from a distance. "Quickly!" he added, pressing his hands down hard over the wound.
Dief steadfastly refused to move.
"Please!" Fraser begged, but Dief still didn't budge.
"I'll deal with you later," Fraser hissed at his wolf as he ran past him to the kitchen. He opened a drawer and grabbed a pile of clean tea towels. Then a wave of nausea overwhelmed him and he had to lean on the table to stop himself keeling over. He shouldn't have spoken to Dief like that. Victoria had only been back for a few minutes and already she had come between him and someone he cared about.
Fraser completely understood why Dief had refused to help. The last time Victoria had been here she had shot and almost killed the poor animal, why would he help her now? Why was Fraser even helping her now? He didn't know. Maybe Dief had the right idea?
No. She was bleeding badly, she needed help. Fraser would do the same for anyone, no matter who they were, or what they'd done in the past.
He ran back to the other room and fell to his knees beside the sofa. He folded one of the towels into four and pressed it down onto the wound.
Victoria winced in pain. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I shouldn't have come here."
"Sshhh," Fraser tried to calm her. "Don't talk." He looked into her eyes and saw real sorrow. Was that sorrow for what she'd done to him three years ago, or simply because she was quite possibly bleeding to death in front of his eyes? He couldn't tell.
"I…I don't want to die," breathed Victoria.
"I'll call 911," replied Fraser.
"No, you can't!" she exclaimed. "You…you know you can't do that."
Fraser nodded slowly. He knew if he alerted anyone to her presence she would be immediately arrested for the murder of Jolly and for all the other crimes she'd committed. She was a wanted felon. If she survived tonight she could be facing the death penalty. That's not what he wanted. So her life was in his hands.
"There's so much I want to say to you," Victoria continued and tears started to fall down her cheeks.
"Sshhh…please, save your strength," urged Fraser.
"But I think about you every day," she sobbed.
"And I you," admitted Fraser before he could stop himself. It was true, though. As much as he'd tried to put her out of his mind she was always there. Flashes of memories, thoughts he couldn't control. She occupied a place in his mind - in his heart - forever. "We can talk later," he said.
Victoria could manage no more than a nod in response, though; her eyes were starting to drift shut.
"Victoria!" said Fraser, urgently. "Don't close your eyes! Stay with me…please."
Her eyes flickered open and a smile danced across her lips. "Tell me the poem," she whispered.
The poem. Oh god…the poem.
Of course he remembered every word, but the meaning of the poem went beyond the words. It went far deeper than that. The last time he'd recited the poem he'd been lying on a railway platform bleeding from a bullet wound, clinging to life. Ray Vecchio's bullet had been meant for Victoria, but it had hit Fraser instead and stopped him leaving with her. Fraser lived with that bullet inside him every day as a reminder of how his friend had saved his life, by almost taking it.
The poem…
He began to recite it and the words spilled out of his mouth like sweet honey, soothing his mind and easing her pain. That's all he wanted to do; he wanted to ease her pain, she didn't deserve this. He was going to help her this time. He was going to save her life and then save her from herself.
As he recited verse after verse, Victoria's distress melted away and the colour started to return to her cheeks.
"Thank you," she smiled. She seemed content now and Fraser allowed himself a sigh of relief.
"I think the bleeding is under control," he said. "I'm going to get the first aid kit. I'll be right back." He got up and ran towards the door.
"I love you," Victoria called after him.
Fraser froze in his tracks. He loved her, he knew that. He lived with that knowledge every day; no matter how crazy it was he still loved her, but did she really love him? After everything she'd done to him how could she claim to love him? She'd tried to ruin his life, but then she'd begged him to leave with her on that train. She'd told him she loved him, but she'd tried to destroy him and everything he cared about. It made no sense. Nothing about her made any sense, but he couldn't hate her. Fraser was still mesmerised by her voice, her beauty, her spirit. She was captivating and he couldn't break away. He couldn't speak right now, he just ran out of the room.
xXxXx
"There, how does that feel?" asked Fraser as he fastened a large, white dressing over the wound.
"It feels good," replied Victoria. "Thank you." She reached out and laid her hand over his, but he gasped at her touch and immediately drew his hand away.
Fraser's head started to spin again. Why had he reacted like that? She was grateful that he'd stopped her bleeding to death, that was all. It wasn't a come on…was it? Fraser looked into her eyes, but he was so confused now he couldn't read her at all.
"You should be in the hospital," he said, bluntly.
"No," she replied. "We've been over this already; no one must know I'm here."
"Why are you here?" he asked.
Victoria slowly reached out, ignoring the pain that the movement caused her, and took his hand in hers. This time he didn't pull away.
"Touch me," she said and she placed the palm of his hand gently on the exposed skin on her abdomen.
Fraser gasped at the warmth. His head was screaming at him to stop, but he just couldn't.
Victoria tugged at her blood stained blouse, exposing more flesh and smiled at him seductively.
"No," said Fraser. His voice was low and husky. His mouth had said the word, but his body refused to obey and he slid his hand over her stomach, caressing her skin with his thumb. Sweat started to form at his temples and his breathing was shallow.
Victoria's smile grew wider and she licked her lips with anticipation, but then suddenly it was over. Fraser snatched his hand away and stood up, backing away from her.
"W…what are you doing?" he asked.
Victoria shrugged and sighed. "I missed this," she said. "I missed…us."
"Rest," he commanded. "I'll get you some water."
Fraser could hear Dief's claws on the tiled floor following him to the kitchen. "I know what I'm doing," he said to his wolf.
Dief made a throaty growling noise.
"I will," replied Fraser. "Of course I'm going to call the Police. I just need a bit more time to…" he trailed off. He didn't really have an excuse.
Dief said nothing.
"Don't lecture me," snapped Fraser.
Dief turned and walked away.
Fraser returned to Victoria with some water and he supported her head as she sipped it slowly.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that just now. I was scared, Ben. I don't want to die. I did before, but I don't now."
Fraser could see genuine remorse etched on her face this time and something he'd never really seen in her before…fear.
He gingerly reached out and brushed the dark curls from her face. Her hair was shorter that the last time he'd seen her. She probably changed her appearance regularly, he realised, considering she'd been on the run for almost three years now.
"You're fine now," he said, reassuringly. "But you lost a lot of blood. I'll need to keep an eye on you for a while."
Fraser paused. This was Victoria. He knew her. He knew that she was volatile and unpredictable and he didn't want to push her, but he needed answers. "Who did this to you?" he asked.
Victoria turned her head away. "I've had to do some difficult things, Ben," she said. "My life now is…you wouldn't understand."
"Try me," he said, gently.
"I've got no choice," she continued. "I take a lot of risks, but I have to survive."
"It's not too late to turn yourself in," he said. He knew she didn't want to hear him say that. He knew she could react badly to those words, but what was she going to do to him? She was weak and vulnerable now. He held all the cards this time…didn't he?
"No, Ben," she replied, defiantly.
Fraser was silent for a moment. He could try begging her, but he'd tried that before – he'd promised her the best lawyers and his full support – but she had simply continued with her evil plan to bring about his downfall.
"I can't," continued Victoria, her voice softer now. "It's too late. Too much has happened."
Fraser realised that she hadn't answered his question. He still had no idea who had plunged a knife into her, or why. He slowly coated his lower lip with his tongue as he ran through various scenarios in his mind.
She'll tell me when she's ready.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked her. "I can find you another pillow if you'd like one."
"It hurts," Victoria said, flatly.
"I know," Fraser replied.
Victoria was in pain and Fraser didn't want to see her suffer. Now it was his turn to wrap his hands around one of hers. He squeezed it gently they way he used to do. He remembered how he'd held her hand all the time during those few blissful days when she'd first walked back into his life, before everything had started to fall apart. It had felt so good to have someone's hand to hold and it had been his way of showing her that he'd protect her, that he never wanted to be apart from her. But that was then and this was now and everything had changed.
Does she have any idea of the pain she's caused me?
The pain from the bullet that had saved his life was long gone now, of course, but he remembered lying on the platform, bleeding, drifting in and out of consciousness and praying that death would take him swiftly to end his unbearable suffering. It wasn't the searing pain of the bullet resting dangerously close to his spine that had been unbearable, it was the pain in his heart. The pain of what he'd allowed her to do to him and to people he cared about. The pain may have dulled a little now, but it was still there.
He quickly released his grasp and her hand fell back to her side. "I find some aspirin," he said.
xXxXx
Victoria slept for a few hours, but Fraser couldn't sleep. He couldn't relax. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. He made clinical observations at hourly intervals, watching for any sign of deterioration in her condition, but she was strong. Fraser knew that; he knew she'd be fine. He tried to get some rest, knowing he'd need all his strength to deal with the immediate aftermath of this, but it was no use.
Instead, he stared at the telephone on the desk in the hall. He'd thought about calling Ray, but Fraser just couldn't risk involving him, not after what Victoria had done to Ray Vecchio. He should just call 911. He had a wanted fugitive in his custody and it was his duty to alert the authorities…but instead he just sat and stared at the phone.
Diefenbaker was at Fraser's feet on full alert. He didn't know what the man was thinking and that scared him. Ordinarily Dief and Fraser had a mutual trust and respect, but this evil woman had come between them before - in fact she had come between Fraser and almost all rational thought -and Dief was not about to let his guard slip again. He had always carried the guilt of what happened with him. He should have dodged her bullet. He should have taken Victoria down when he'd had the chance, then he could have prevented her from hurting Fraser, but she'd got away from him and he'd almost died because of his mistake and so had Fraser.
Victoria stirred and opened her eyes and immediately Dief got to his feet.
"Ben," she called out.
"I'm here," replied Fraser, reassuringly. "Are you alright?"
"Thirsty," she said in a croaky voice.
Fraser nodded and went to get her some more water. He refilled her glass from the tap and then filled one for himself too. He suddenly realised how thirsty he was too; he hadn't even considered his own basic needs since Victoria had arrived.
Fraser gulped down the water, grateful for the refreshment. Then suddenly Dief came bounding into the kitchen barking loudly.
"What is it?" asked Fraser urgently and he ran back to find Victoria slumped back on her pillows, her arm hanging loosely over the side of the couch.
"Victoria!" Fraser exclaimed and he dropped to his knees beside her. He checked her pulse, holding his breath in panic. Her heartbeat was still strong, the warm sensation against his fingers melted away his fears. Now he could feel her breath against his hand and he shook her shoulder gently. "Victoria," he repeated, trying to rouse her.
Her eyes blinked open.
Fraser turned to Dief and smiled gratefully. "Thank you," he said, but Dief replied with an angry bark.
"What's wrong with you?" Fraser frowned at his wolf.
"Ben…" Victoria reached out a hand and Fraser clutched it to his heart.
"It's alright," he said to her. "You passed out, but it's alright now. I'm here."
Dief barked again and Fraser scowled at him. "Stop it," he said. "What are you talking about?"
Dief barked again and ran out of the room. Fraser heard the click of the back door as his wolf left the Consulate. Fraser sighed sadly. Why couldn't Dief trust him on this? He wasn't going to let Victoria hurt them again. He wasn't.
"Sip this," Fraser encouraged and he helped Victoria to drink some water.
"I don't know what happened?" she replied.
Fraser lifted her wrist and checked her pulse again. "You're going to be weak for a while," he explained. "You lost a lot of blood. You need to build up your strength again slowly."
Victoria nodded. "I can't stay here, can I," she said.
Fraser shook his head. He'd been trying to figure out a way to make it work, but he just couldn't. "I'll find somewhere," he said. "Don't worry."
What am I saying? I just offered to harbour a fugitive!
Victoria smiled. "You were going to come with me, weren't you," she said.
Fraser drew a sharp breath. She was talking about the train. If she'd asked him in the weeks immediately after it had happened he would have said yes. He remembered telling Ray when he was recovering in hospital that he had intended to go with her, but now that he'd had time to think about it all rationally he'd changed his mind.
"No, I wasn't," he replied, scratching at his eyebrow with his thumbnail. "I was intending to apprehend you and turn you over to the Police."
Victoria shook her head and her bottom lip started to quiver. "That's not true," she said. "Tell me it's not true."
"I'm sorry," he replied. "I admit that at the time my thoughts were conflicted, but you must realise that your actions were…what you had done was…I just couldn't…" he trailed off. He couldn't find the right words.
"I've changed, Ben," she said. "Back then I was angry and confused and I thought I wanted to hurt you, but now…I regret what I did."
Fraser didn't believe her. As harsh as it seemed he knew she didn't really mean it, not deep down. She had no regrets. That's not who Victoria Metcalf was. Maybe she did things differently now, but she had a darkness inside her and that would never change.
"Try to go back to sleep," he said. He didn't want to talk about it. It was in the past.
"I didn't know if you were dead or alive," Victoria said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I almost had you, our fingers touched, but then I heard the shot and you fell and I thought I'd lost you forever."
Tears were rolling down her cheeks now and Fraser longed to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything would be alright.
But I can't do either of those things now.
"That bullet was meant for me, wasn't it," sobbed Victoria. "Your friend wanted me dead and I don't blame him. I had to leave not knowing what had happened to you. I wanted to scream and run to you, but…"
But Ray wouldn't have missed twice, Fraser acknowledged with a shudder. "Please, let's not talk about this now," he said.
"Then when?" asked Victoria. She wiped her face with her hand.
Fraser closed his eyes briefly and tried to think of a suitable answer. He knew that she wouldn't be here long whatever transpired over the coming days. Soon she would be gone from his life once again and this time it would be forever.
He stood up and walked over to the sofa. For a moment he just stood there looking down at her. Why did she have to be this way? Why was she able to get inside his head like this? Fraser simply couldn't ignore the raw emotions of the only woman he'd ever really loved.
"Please don't cry," he said. It was a simple request.
"I don't know what else to do?" she replied. "How can I make you understand?"
Fraser picked up a box of tissues and handed it to her. "Dry your eyes," he said. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. You had your reasons; that's all I need to know."
"Why do you have to be so goddam nice?" she answered with a wry smile.
Fraser carefully sat on the edge of the sofa. He took the tissue from her hand and tenderly wiped her tears for her. As he did so she reached out her hands and stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. Fraser's whole body stiffened, but he didn't pull away. He allowed her to caress him and he leaned into her touch.
She's doing it again. Why does she do this to me?
"Can you ever forgive me?" she asked.
Fraser swallowed hard.
Shouldn't I be asking you that question? I could have let you go after Fortitude Pass. I saved your life and then I crushed it…it's entirely fault; all of this is my fault…
Fraser lost control. Victoria had him exactly where she wanted him…again…and he was powerless to stop it. She pulled him close until their foreheads touched.
"Come with me," she whispered. "No one will ever know. We can be together forever."
Before he knew what was happening they were kissing, sending shivers of passion through his whole body as he ignored the voices in his head yelling at him to stop. He was lost in her. He didn't know if he would ever find himself again. He didn't know if he wanted to.
Victoria wrapped her arms around him and pulled him on top of her. He put up no resistance. His body lurched against hers, but pain arched through her body and she let out a high pitched yelp.
The noise snapped Fraser out of his trance and he climbed off. "I'm sorry," he said, panting as he spoke. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think…" He pulled the blanket away to check her wound, half expecting to see blood soaking through the dressing, but there was nothing.
"It's OK, I'm fine," Victoria tried to reassure him. "I didn't think. I just wanted…" she trailed off and tried to kiss him again.
"I know," he whispered, but he turned his head away from her. He wanted it too…didn't he?
I need some air…
He tried to stand up, but she pulled him back.
"Where are you going?" she asked sharply.
Fraser was stunned by the sudden shift in tone. "I…I…" he stammered. He looked at her face, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The change in her terrified him. It was as if a dark cloud had suddenly descended and taken away the woman he loved. She even looked different. Still captivating in her beauty, but now the darkness was back - not that it had ever really gone away, he knew that – but now it was there on display for all to see.
Fraser tried to stand up, but he couldn't take his eyes off her and then before he realised what was happening Victoria's fingers were in his mouth. Fraser let out a whimper.
"It could be like this forever," she said, her voice softer again. "Come with me, Ben. Let's leave now and never come back."
Fraser's sucked at her fingertips, his tongue caressing the lines of her knuckles as the memories came flooding back. The first time he'd done this they'd both been close to death, the second time they'd been making love…but what was this?
Help me!
He tried to scream, but he was paralysed. She tasted like luscious nectar, just as before, only now…
Wait, something's different now…
Fraser's eyes widened as he realised what was happening, but it was too late.