Pyhimyksen Kyyneleet
Titel: The tears of a saint
My first Hetalia fanfic! :D I honestly thought my first Hetalia fanfic would be a SuFin, but no! This is a Romano X Finnish!Reader.
NOW, BEFORE WE START, I HAVE TO WARN YOU. Firstly, this is the first time I have written this kind of a story, so please don't kill me if it's totally messed up. Secondly, I may be Finnish myself but I never listen in history classes and I isolate myself in my room so some stuff may be a bit wrong. Thirdly, consider yourself as Tino's (Finland) little sister. So your last name will be Väinämöinen, no matter what! And fourthly, this idea popped into my head while I was eating and then I just ran to my computer and started writing so I haven't planned a plot.
Now, enough of my little speech and let's start!
I don't own Hetalia characters nor you. Haha, wouldn't it be cool if I did owned you. No, that sounded wrong. Enjoy!
(Translations are in the end)
29.11 2013
Take a deep breath. Good, now let the breath out calmly. Now don't let your voice crack when you speak. Don't think about it, just stay calm.
"W-what?" Seriously [name], that's the best you can do? Didn't dad always say you were strong?
"Your great grandfather, [great grandfather's name] Väinämöinen, passed away. We're sorry for your loss." The man on the other end of the phone spoke.
You couldn't hold in the tears. No matter how many times your father had told you you were a strong woman, you felt weak right now. Your great grandfather was an important person to you. Not only as family, but to your country's history as well. He was the man you looked up to, the man who was truly strong, the man who no matter what could cheer you up. The man who now was dead.
"T-thank you for calling me and telling me this," you told the man on the phone, fighting to keep your voice from cracking "is there anything else?"
"Your family in Finland will call you about more details and about the funeral. I have already informed your brother Tino about this. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care Ms. Väinämöinen."
"T-thank you." You ended the call and stared at the phone in your hand. This couldn't be real. He couldn't be dead. He promised to live forever!
Your great grandfather was very old, you knew it wouldn't be long till this day would come. After all, he was almost a hundred years old. But still you couldn't imagine what your life would be like without him. What would it be like now that you couldn't listen to him telling about the war times? As a child you had often sat next to him on the sofa and listen to him as he told stories about the time he was at the war. How he, and many other brave soldiers, had defended Finland from Russia. About the time when a little country like Finland was able to keep the world's biggest country from taking their independence. Sure they had lost some land, but the freedom stayed with the hearts of the Finn's.
Every year on Finland's Independence Day, the 6th December, you and your family would visit your great grandfather and celebrate together. The adults usually got drunk and sang together while the kids eats some treats and played in the snow.
The Independence Day… It was in a week. Your great grandfather loved the Independence Day. He said that it was the only day of the year that he truly felt free.
"Iso papa… You love that day… And still, you let go one week too early…" your voice was weak. Not that it really mattered since no one was there to hear you.
With two steps back, your back hit the wall and you slowly slid down till you were sitting on the floor with your knees against your chest. You never let anyone see when you were sad. You kept your feelings buried deep inside of you. The tears that now soaked your cheeks were not meant to be shown to anyone.
"Naisen kyyneleet ovat pyhät, ne eivät ole luotu nähtäväksi" your mother's sweet voice echoed in your head. Only when you were alone the tears would fall.
You buried your face into your knees and hid your fingers in your [color] hair where your nails could claw on your poor scalp. The sobs that escaped your lips echoed in the empty small apartment you lived in.
Your parents let you move to the United States to continue your studies. They had paid the few first rents till you were able to find a part time job and pay for them yourself. The only rule they had set for your apartment was "No complaining". And with a kiss on the forehead from your mother and a bear hug from your father, you left to try out a new life in the US. Your big brother Tino had moved to Sweden to live with this boyfriend Berwald.
Right now, it seemed like a bad idea to move so far away. Your whole family lived far away and they wouldn't be able to comfort you, nor you them. At least Tino had Berwald's shoulder to cry on and your parents had each other. You, were left to drown in your own tears.
6.12 2013
"Where is that stupid ragazza?!" the voice with a thick Italian accent echoed though the cafeteria. The only ones who really paid attention to him sighed.
For one week now, Lovino had complained and complained about you not coming to school. The others were starting to get annoyed. And when they asked if he had called you, he said you didn't pick up. Francis asked him once why he won't just go to your apartment to find out what was wrong, but the Italian had only spit back some colorful words.
"Listen, I bet she's fine!" Ludwig spoke with his German accent "She might just be sick."
"Yeah fratello," Lovino's brother Feliciano joined in "don't worry, she'll be back in no time. Then, we'll celebrate with pasta!"
"What's with you and pasta…?" Ludwig muttered to himself.
"If she's sick it's just another reason to be worried!"
"Tell me, Lovino. Why are you so worried? Do you happen to like [name]?"
"Shut it, girl boy!"
"What is it about me you think is so girly?"
"Your hair! It's so girly I want to puke!"
"It's called fashion, Lovino." Francis flipped his long blond hair to make sure the short tempered Italian would get even more pissed off.
"Hola, [name]!" Antonio yelled cheerfully as he smiled brightly at you as you entered the now almost empty cafeteria.
"Oh, [name] is back!" Alfred cheered as he stuffed another hamburger down his throat.
"Ragazza? Where the hell have you been?!" Lovino snapped as he turned to face you.
You looked at your friends with a smile that didn't reach your [color] eyes. You prayed they didn't notice how sad you were. All your life you hid how you really felt, not wanting to bring others down with you. You would rather sit and watch them be happy from your dark little glass box than see them sad.
"Yeah, [name] where have you been? We were worried about you." the France man added.
"Oh, I wasn't feeling well. But I'm alright now."
"Yo [name]!" Alfred spoke up now that he had finally finished his food "Isn't today Finland's Independence Day? Shouldn't you be celebrating and wearing some traditional clothes and carry a flag with you or something?" you looked at him in shock. Not only because Alfred of all people remembered that, but also because you had actually forgotten. The days had been messy for you and you had lost track of time.
"W-well actually, that's not how we celebrate. I just take it easy and relax with our families."
"What?! That boring!"
"Anteeksi." You giggled, hoping no one realized you really faked it.
"[name], [name], [name], the Christmas holidays start next week!" the happier Italian, Feliciano, spoke with his happy voice "We are all going to Matthew's place and ski! Are you coming to?"
Your little fake smile melted off of your face. What were you going to say? It was impossible to lie to your friends. Even telling them you were alright now was the hardest thing you done in years! And Lovino standing there didn't help at all. He was your crush after all.
"[name]…?" Lovino spoke.
"I'm sorry, but I can't go." You told them honestly.
"Why not?" Lovino had agreed to come only if you would be there. After all, he was planning on spending Christmas with his crush one way or another.
"I'm going to Finland."
"What? But it's so far away!"
"I'm sorry… I have some… Family business to take care of…"
"Well someone better be dying or I'll be pissed."
"I…" your voice cracked slightly "I have to go to a funeral…"
Everyone at the table stared at you. Their eyes were wide and full of worries. You didn't realize it wasn't your words they had reacted to until it was too late.
One lonely teardrop ran along your cheek till it reached your chin and fell down on the floor. You were crying in front of your friends. It was something you had sworn to never do.
"[n-name]" Lovino started but was cut off by you.
"Perkele…" and with that colorful word, you ran. You would not let them see you like this. All you needed to do was get back to your apartment and hide there till it was time to go to Finland.
"What did you do Lovino?" the Antonio asked with his Spanish accent. He was in shock like everybody else. You had not even once shown that you was sad. They all knew when something was up, but they never dared to ask.
"I didn't do anything you tomato freak!"
"Who do you think died?" Alfred asked.
"It must be someone who was really close to her. One of her parents? Or maybe her brother?" Ludwig said.
"Well, whoever it was, she needs someone next to her right now." Francis spoke as he got up from his seat. "I'll be going to cheer her up with my incredible looks. Hopefully I'll be making her feel better… naked." The France man didn't get far when Lovino snatched Ludwig's car keys and started running.
"I'll borrow your car, potato bastard!" he yelled over his shoulder.
"No you're not!"
"Ludwig, would you let my fratello borrow it this once. He has to go and save the girl he loves from herself." Feliciano innocently spoke. All it took for Ludwig to not chase after the rude Italian was a look at the puppy eyes Feliciano was giving him. How could anyone say no to him?!
"Fine." Ludwig muttered as he sat down again.
Oh-so-colorful words left Lovino's mouth as he cursed at the driver in front of him. How could he be so slow? Didn't he understand by Lovino's cursing that he was in a hurry? What if you already left so you could get to Finland? What if you hurt yourself? What if you ran away? What if Lovino would never get the chance to confess to you? No, he could not let this happen!
Ever since the day you came to the same school as Lovino, he had found himself feeling weird. Not weird in a bad way, but in a confusing yet pleasant way. Every time he was near you he would feel nervous. When you looked at him his heart beat like crazy. And when you laughed, it was like time stopped. But seeing you cry made the world fall into pieces.
Awesome flashback brought to you by the awesome Prussia
"Yo, Lovino! Did you hear the news already?" the over excited American know as Alfred asked as he walked up to his friend. It was the first day of the school year and the Italian had barely set foot on school ground when someone had to piss him off with their annoying voice.
"No, and I don't care!"
"Well, I'll tell you, but just because you asked so nicely!"
"I didn't-!"
"There's a new student in our class. I hear it's a hot chick from Scandinavians. Let's hope for a Swedish chick! I've heard they are the hottest!" Alfred laughed while Lovino tried not to punch him in the face.
Lovino honestly didn't care. All he wanted was for people to stop annoying him. But that would obviously not happen. Everyone expected him to be like his airheaded brother Feliciano. Even if he had proved a thousand times he was nothing like him, the other people were still convinced he was just as stupid. The only think Lovino and Feliciano had in common was their looks, the freaking curl and their undying love for pasta.
"I don't care!
"Come on Lovi!"
"Don't call me that!"
"Why are you always so mad?"
"Let's just get to class." The Italian sighed. There was no point in arguing with the American. Alfred was too carefree and didn't know when to stop.
Once in class, Lovino and Alfred seated themselves in their usual seats. Alfred happily stared chatting with the other students while Lovino just sat there drowning in his grumpiness.
"Alright class, would you please shut up!" the teacher known as Mrs. Lock spoke as rudely as always. She was an older woman with gray hair and glasses. Now, just because she was old didn't mean you could do whatever you wanted and get away with it. Mrs. Lock used to be in the army, so if you couldn't behave, she would kick your ass all the way to China.
"We have a new student in this class, so you better behave! Her name is [name] Väinämöinen and she's from Finland," a groan could be heard from Alfred along with a complain about how he had wished she was from Sweden "but just because she isn't from around here doesn't mean you can bully her. Most of you are from another county, so I guess you'll all behave. And one more thing! Bonnefoy!"
"Oui, madam?"
"No sexual harassment! I don't want the new student to feel uncomfortable!" and just as the teacher said that, there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Lock gave the class on last glare before she opened the door.
At the door stood the most beautiful creature Lovino had ever seen. The girls [color] eyes were like the stars and her [color] hair looked like it was meant to be worn only by Goddesses. Her smile said she was a confident woman, but Lovino could see she was unsure by the look in her eyes.
"Moi!" she gave the class a small wave.
"That so cute…" Antonio mumbled.
"Yeah, totally…" another boy agreed. Even some of the girls agreed!
"She's from Finland, da?" the Russian boy known as Ivan spoke with his forever calm voice "So me and [name] are like neighbors then." Lovino wanted to wipe that creepy smile off his face.
"Ms. Väinämöinen, please sit down next to Lovino over there." Mrs. Lock said and pointed straight at the rude Italian. Lovino's heart skipped a beat. He was too shocked to even react to Francis who complained about how he wanted [name] to sit next to him.
As she sat down she gave Lovino a smile, making the said Italian blush. Lovino Vargas never blushes! Sure he had his moments as a child, but he was a grown man now!
"It's nice to meet you, Lovino." The accent. Oh the accent! How was that not cute?! She was going to be Lovino's doom!
"It's nice to meet you too." The Italian muttered as he desperatly tried to hide his blush. She flashed him a smile that reached her eyes as she giggled. That's when Lovino desided he only wanted to see her happy.
End of the awesome flashback by awesome Prussia
Lovino had to get to you as soon as possible. He couldn't stand the image that was burned into his mind of you crying. He needed the cheerful and happy Finnish girl he fell in love with.
"Get out of the way, you fucking shithead!" Lovino yelled at the driver in front of him. As soon as he was able to pass the other car he forgot about the Goddamn speedlimit and drow as fast as he could, hoping that Ludwig wouldn't mind a fine or two.
Lovino parked the car rigt in front of the building where you lived. He had been there many times before, but usually with other people and not alone. With a quick look at your apartment window he made his way to the door. He made his way to the third floor where you lived in record time and knocked on the door.
No answer.
"[name]! Open the door!" still no answer. Fear crept upon Lovino as he waited. He had to do something. He needed to know if you were inside or not!
An idea popped into the Italians head. If he remembered correctly, you kept a spare key on the other side of the door. He remembered you put it right next to the mail door. By opening the little door where the mail deliverer puts the mail though he would be able to reach it.
By doing this, Lovino was able to get the key and open the door. When he walked in the first thing he heard was a quiet sob. He quickly closed the door and walked to the small living room where he found you curled up in the sofa. With three long steps he was in front of you and pulling you into a hug.
"L-Lovino?"
"What made you cry? What was it that wiped away the smile I love so much? Tell me [name]."
"I… I…" a sob escaped your lips "My g-great grandfather died…"
To Lovino it sounded rather odd to hear that. Maybe it was bacause he had never met his great grandfather. Your great granfather must have been really old, so it shouldn't be surprising that he died.
"Tell me about him." Lovino had never been good at cheering people up, in fact he sucked at it, but it was worth a try.
"W-why...?"
"I'm trying to make you feel better, so don't ask questions." You let out a small laugh. Never had you though Lovino was the kind of person who would try to cheer people up. He seemed more like the person who would make them cry.
"He's one of the few persons who is really close to me," you began "heck he's probably closer to me than my parents and brother!" you laughed a little at the memory of when Tino complained about how much time you spent with your great grandfather compared to him. "He's really smart, and cheerful. He knows how to make me feel better when I'm sad and he understands me. He always tells me stories about the war. About the time when he and the other Finn's were able to take down Russian tanks while they were on their skis with simple guns in their hands. And about how he met the love of his life." You smiled at the memory of your great grandfathers face when he told you about his meeting with your great grandmother. The little smile that tugged in his lips and the spark in his eyes. It was something you could never forget.
"How did they meet?" Lovino asked. He needed her to keep talking since he could feel at smile on her lips against his neck. He wanted to keep that smile where it belonged.
"On the battle field. She was a part of the Lotta Svärd-organisation which was a organisation of women who voluntered to help during the war. They didn't take a gun in their hand and ran into battel, but they healed the wounded, buried the dead, were on guard, took care of the horses, brought mail to the soldiers. Simple yet important things."
"How is brining the mail important?" Lovino asked flatly. He didn't see what was so important about it.
"If you were in war, with your family God knows where and in what condition, whouldn't it be nice to get a letter now and then from them to know that they are alright?" Lovino only nodded. You loved talking about your country's history. It made a fire lit in you. Sometimes when you started talking about it, you just couldn't stop.
"The name Lotta Svärd comes from a pome by Johan Ludvig Runeberg who's Finland's national poet. The pome is a part of a famous book called Fänrik Ståls Sägner. The pome is about a Finnish solider, privat Svärd, who went to fight in the Finnish War and took his wife, Lotta, with him. But private Svärd was killed in battle, still Lotta stayed on the battle field to take care of the wounded soldiers."
Lovino usually hated history, but this was actually interesting. Plus, he was doing this for you, so he had a reason to listen to it other that the teachers theory about "it being useful in the future" crap.
"My great grandmother," you continued "she was on look out with her sister, who also was a part of the Lotta Svärd-organisation, when the Russians attacked. They had time to warn the base where the other Lotta's and some soliders were at, but the Russian's saw them. Her sister was killed right before her eyes, and she would have been killed too, if it wasn't for my great grandfather. He pretty much jumped into battle alone."
"He sounds amazing."
"Yeah," you sighed happily "He's country was everything to him. He didn't want to be part of another country. He fought for his county, and only for that. Until he met her. He said to me, "Hän oli kuin enkeli, enkeli jonka kyyneleet varastettiin." it mean "She wa like an angel, an angel who's tears had been stolen." he told me that the sight of such beauty crying had given him power to fight off so many men at the same time. After that day, he had made sure to see her as often as possible. He fought to make sure he'll be able to see her again. And as soon as the war ended, he asked her to marry her."
"That's amazing." Lovino whispered. He was shocked. To think that such a man; a man who was so strong but at the same time soft, had met his end. Leaving a broken girl behind. "Ragazza."
"What?"
"I'll do the exact same as he did, fight hundreds and thousends of enemies, just to see your face again. Ti amo [name]."
You opened your eyes wide. Did he just tell you he loves you? You were too shocked to say anthing, all you could do was sit there in his arms with wide eyes. Those were the words you had wanted to hear from him ever since you met him. The words that you had wanted to say to him so many times, but was to scared to. And now that you finally heard them, you did nothing but sit there like an idiot.
Lovino slowly pulled away from the hug and stood up straight. His hair was hiding his eyes, creating a shadow over his face. He felt rejected and heart broken. He knew he should stay to make sure you're alright, but the pain was too much. He had hoped that you felt the same, but obviously it was meant to be only in his dreams.
You watched as Lovino walked towards the door. You needed to stop him, but your body didn't move, still too shocked from the confession. Tears were threatening to fall again. You wnted to tell him to stop, but couldn't find your voice. It was like you had forgotten how to speak.
But all it took for you to snap out of your trance was the twist of the door handle. You bolted up from your seat and rushed towards Lovino.
"Don't go!" you yelled as you hugged him from behind. "Minä rakastan sinua! Minä rakastan sinua! I love you more than anything!" your hands that were clentching his shirt on his chest were shaking and tears were once again falling freely from your [color] eyes. "Please don't-"
You didn't have time to finish your sentence when Lovino turned around and crashed his lips onto yours. His hands found their way to your waist so he could pull you closer to him. You didn't hesitate either to wrap your arms around his neck.
When you pulled apart, you were both breathing heavily. You stared into his eyes, seeing the love that he held for only you.
"Lovino. Please don't leave me…"
"I won't." Lovino buried his face into your neck and closed his eyes in relif. "I'll never leave you."
"Lovino?"
"Yes, ragazza?"
"Will you celebrate Finland's Independence Day with me?"
"Only if you promise me something."
"And what is that?"
"That you'll be my girlfriend." You chuckled.
"Of course."
"[name]?"
"Yes?"
"I want to go with you. I want to go to Finland with you. I want to meet your great grandfather and your family."
And so, the crying continued. But this time, you didn't know if they were happy tears ot sad tears. Maybe a little bit of both. But the important thing is, that Lovino wanted to be with you, even when it meant having to meet your father who had an ax under the table in case someone didn't behave.
Yes, Lovino was worth crying for.
A womans tears are holy, they are not created to be seen. My darling angle, stay strong and don't let anyone steal them. They belong to the man who's able to win your heart, and to him only. Once you have found the right one to give your life to, only then let the tear fall.
Before you all kill me I have something to say: I'm sorry! I messed it up, I know! But I hope you at least enjoyed it a little bit and please review!
Translations!
Iso papa – Finnish, I call my great grandfather to this. My mom calls him just papa, so I automatically call him iso papa. Iso mean big and papa means dad. But we in Finland (at least in my family) we often call out grandfather's papa and grandmother's mama.
Naisen kyyneleet ovat pyhät, ne eivät ole luotu nähtäväksi – Finnish for "A woman's tears are holy, they are not created to be seen"
Ragazza – Italian for "girl".
Fratello – Italian for "brother"
Hola – Spanish for "Hi"
Anteeksi – Finnish for "Sorry"
Perkele – Finnish swear word
Oui – French for "Yes"
Moi – Finnish for "Hi"
Da – Russian for "Yes"
Hän oli kuin enkeli, enkeli jonka kyyneleet varastettiin – Finnish for "She was like an angle, and angel whos tears had been stolen"
Ti amo – Italian for "I love you"
Minä rakastan sinua – Finnish for "I love you"
Okay, so maaaaaaybe I had a little too much history and too little fluffyness… But I wanted you all to know, that Lotta Svärd-organisation is not something I came up with. And Fänrik Ståls Sägner, does really exist. It is written by J.L Runeberg and that's also where Finland's national song comes from.
Also, I guess I kind of dedicate this to my great granfather (who is still alive). Since he's a veteran and I love him deeply.
Hope you liked it and please review.