AN: This is… special. Not sure why, it just is. Not to you, but to me. I thought I'd share if you wanted to read it. It's ridiculous, has plot holes and probably sucks, but there is no sense in it sitting on my laptop wasting away when I can share it with you all. I'm well into this, but here is the first part. I'll post every few days or so. And, as always, I own nothing.
Until You See Me
Chapter 1
It wasn't the rain that caused the violent shiver to run down Pansy's spine. The cold drops splashed against her warm skin, but it did nothing to cool the heat that radiated from her. The large, strong arm that wrapped around her squeezed tightly as she looked up into her rescuers bright green eyes. He observed her with such concern that she wasn't sure if she might be hallucinating. Drops of rain slid down his slightly fogged glasses. He tried to wipe them off to see her better, but the rain was too heavy to keep them clear for long.
"Are you alright, Miss Parkinson?" She stared at him, fascinated, as the steam swirled around them with every new breath he exhaled. His shaggy, brown hair was disheveled from the blast and his lightning bolt scar was barely peeking out behind his bangs.
Was she alright? She wasn't sure. All she could think about was how incredibly long it had been since she'd last seen Harry Potter, and she'd never remembered him being so handsome before. She had always hated him, believing he was the biggest arsehole she had ever met. She'd even tried to hand him over to Voldemort once, but that was more to save her own skin than out of any actual malice. That had not been one of her better decisions, and thinking about it now made her cringe.
Now, as the thunderstorm raged above and his large arms wrapped securely about her waist, she was met with a different boy than she remembered. He wasn't a boy anymore, but now a man. Blinking rapidly to push her sudden thoughts away, she nodded dumbly, not trusting herself to speak just yet. She was sure, by her thoughts that she must be in some sort of shock.
"We need to get you out of here."
Looking around, she took in the rubble from her home. Where her family's estate had once stood proudly, but now there was nothing. Only piles of wood and stone, the stained glass windows that had been her mother's favorite now lay in a million pieces about the courtyard. Her eyes pricked and her heart constricted as she took it all in.
"You're bleeding," she heard Potter say as his hand wiped gently against her cheek. She couldn't help when her eyes closed. His warm hand felt nice against her frigid skin, causing her to shiver again.
She opened her eyes as he swung her up into his arms. He was looking at her intently; a soft, reassuring smile graced his lips. "Let's get you to St. Mungo's," he whispered before Disapparating.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
The room was quiet and cozy; the blankets warming her body nicely. She was grateful for the hot tea that had been placed in her hand by the Mediwitch. She wasn't, however, happy that she was being accosted by an overzealous Auror. His questions were repetitive and she was tired of going in circles.
"I've already told you," she snapped again. "I didn't see his face, it was much too dark. I had just arrived when your Aurors came barreling in like a herd of Hippogriffs and I was pulled outside. The next thing I know I was being pushed to the ground by Potter and my house exploded."
She huffed and held her tea closer to her body, wishing they'd just all go away.
"I understand Miss Parkinson, but can you at least tell us how tall he was or..."
"I think she's had enough, Ben," a voice from the door interrupted her interrogator. Her dark eyes immediately looked up to see none other than Harry Potter standing just inside her room. She hadn't seen him since the Mediwizard had whisked her away at their arrival hours ago.
Her heart skipped one short beat before picking up to a furious pace. He wasn't soaking wet from the earlier rain any longer, but his hair was still damp. She watched as he pushed a few strands that clung to his forehead back with his hand, before glaring at the other Auror in the room.
"Miss Parkinson has told us everything she knows. I think she's been through enough for the night."
The Auror named Ben blushed furiously at being spoken to in such a way, by Harry Potter of all people, and turned back towards her.
"My apologies, Miss Parkinson. Of course, you need your rest. If you remember anything at all, please, feel free to contact me. We'll find who did this." With a confident smile towards her and a slight nod to Potter, he was out the door.
"Merlin, thank you. I was getting close to hexing him," she said gratefully.
Potter closed the door behind him and walked towards her bed, smiling gently at her before motioning towards the seat Ben had just vacated. "May I?"
She gave a nod of agreement towards the chair as she tried to calm her racing heartbeat. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous, it was only Potter after all. But maybe that was it, though; he wasn't just Potter anymore. He had grown into an incredibly handsome man, one she'd never noticed before, and Pansy wasn't sure what to make of that.
He sat and conjured another cup of tea for himself. He sipped at it, only to wince as the hot liquid touched his lips. She couldn't help the small smile that played upon her lips as she watched him. A quiet curse left his lips as he set the cup aside, causing her to giggle.
He smiled at her when he heard her laugh at him.
"Guess it's too hot to drink," he said with a chuckle. She took out her wand and waved it over his cup, letting the spell cool the liquid slightly.
"There, that should be better," she said, blushing at her own forwardness.
He reached for the cup again and took another sip, but this time didn't wince. "Yes, that is much better. Being raised by muggles, I sometimes forget that I'm a wizard." He smiled at her, oblivious to just how uncomfortable his words had made her. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Taking a sip of her own tea to distract from the dark thoughts she was having, she realized it was now cold. She tried not to look him over but failed. She saw the burn holes in his robes, and the cut on his hand. She knew he had took most of the blow from the debris that had hit them from her house exploding, and felt bad he had took such a beating for her.
"How did you know?" she asked. The question had been on her mind ever since she could think clearly again.
"We had an informant," he answered immediately, needing no explanation for what she was asking. "He gave us the details and I came as soon as I found out," he explained, looking regretful. "I'm sorry I didn't get there in time."
She scoffed, "You saved my life. I'd say that was time enough."
He smiled weakly at her before saying, "I couldn't save your house."
Shaking her head she looked into his bright eyes, noticing for the first time they had flecks of brown around his pupil.
"I don't care about the house." She shook her head again and looked out the window. The rain was still coming down, even after being in the hospital for hours. It was a bad storm. "I can't say I'm happy that I lost all my shoes, but if you hadn't shown up, I wouldn't be here. Fuck the house."
His laughter called her attention back to him. He was genuinely smiling now, which caused her to do so as well. The whole experience was strange but not uncomfortable. Sitting in a hospital room with Harry Potter and laughing over the loss of her house was not something she had ever thought she would be doing. She didn't mind, though. Surprisingly, she realized she liked his company.
After several moments of comfortable silence, and Pansy thinking of what she was going to do now that she had nowhere to go, she noticed Potter's expression. His eyebrows furrowed and his nose wrinkled. He was thinking hard on something.
"I'll find who did this, Miss Parkinson. I'll find them and send them straight to Azkaban." His suddenly serious expression caught her off guard. She hadn't really allowed herself to think much about why her house had been destroyed, but now the question seemed to ring in her ears. She didn't want to think about why someone was trying to kill her.
"Pansy," she said, not wanting to talk about the big, pink elephant in the room. She was nothing if not a master of diversion. She was a Slytherin after all. "Call me Pansy."
His eyes sparkled as he stuck out his hand. "Alright, Pansy. Harry then."
She chuckled as she took he took her large hand into her small one. "We have met before."
She was surprised at how soft his skin was. His warmth wrapped around her small fingers and sent goose bumps up her arm. She blushed and let his hand go, noticing the stubble on his chin for the first time. She focused on that instead of the tingling left by his touch.
"Yes, but, I'd like to think we've both changed a lot since school. We didn't know each other that well back then, either. We can start over."
She didn't know what to say to that, so she just nodded. It was true, she had changed since Hogwarts. More so than most were willing to admit, but most of her acquaintances from school were either dead or not on speaking terms. No one really knew the person Pansy had become. It was nice to see someone was willing to, however, even briefly.
"I should get going and let you rest," he said as he stood. "Do you have somewhere to go?"
She was touched by the concern in his voice. She had always looked out for herself, and wasn't used to anyone making sure she was alright.
"Yeah, sure," she lied quickly. She could figure out what to do later. She didn't need him knowing she really didn't have anywhere to go. She didn't have family left, and she wouldn't dare impose on the few friends she still had, all two of them. Her heart clenched painfully at the thought.
"Alright, I'll let you know as soon as I learn something." His green eyes hardened, the Auror in him taking charge again. The worry she saw made her heart skip a beat, but she hid it completely.
"Thank you, Harry, for everything." She didn't say for saving her life, but it was implied.
"No need for that. I'm just glad you're alright." He looked at her for a moment, his eyes appeared to linger a second longer than was necessary. "Bye, Pansy."
And then he was gone, leaving Pansy to whisper her own goodbye in the quiet room. The thunder shook the building from the raging storm outside, but Pansy could barely hear it over her own thoughts.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
She had no clothes, no home, and nowhere to go. The room at the Leaky Cauldron was the best she could come up with on such short notice. She hated London, but it would have to do for now. It was close to work, and Gringotts, so at least it was convenient.
The room was clean and the food tolerable, but she wouldn't be able to stay here forever. Pansy had money from her inheritance, but it wasn't large enough to rebuild, or even buy another home like the one she had grown up in.
I have my wonderful father to thank for that, she thought sarcastically.
She'd have to find something smaller, which was fine with her. She didn't mind starting over all that much; she just wished she didn't have to do it alone.
Sighing, she sat on the bed and rubbed her newly healed cheek. The Mediwizard had told her how lucky she had been to walk away from the rubble with just a scratch. She didn't feel lucky losing her entire life in the span of ten seconds. She actually didn't feel much of anything when she thought of her destroyed home.
Thinking back to the explosion, she could remember Harry's arms wrapped around her vividly. It was the only time her emotions resurfaced from the fog of the last eleven hours, and it confused her. She wasn't sure why that detail seemed to jump out amongst all the rest, but it was all she could think about.
She could still feel his muscles contract as he pulled her closer, shielding her from the pieces of wood and glass that rained down upon them. The scruff on his cheek had scratched across her temple; his nose buried deep in her long, dark hair. His glasses had dug into her skin, but not painfully so, as they were nearly knocked off his face. Her legs had wrapped around him as he threw them to the ground in an attempt to protect her.
It was all so clear; those first few seconds. She could remember every minute detail, even now. She could even still remember the smell of his cologne. It wasn't something she recognized, but it stuck with her. She suddenly had a longing to smell it again.
"I'm so fucked," she said to the empty room as she reclined back on the bed. It was approaching dawn; the sunlight barely peeking through the half-closed curtains of her temporary home. She just wanted to close her eyes and forget the man who she'd hated most of her life.
Kicking her shoes off, she crawled up the bed and got comfortable. She would worry about everything after she had some much needed sleep. It wasn't every day she lost her home in an attempted murder. It definitely wasn't everyday she found herself swooning over her childhood enemy.
Clearing her mind, she had only one thought before the blessed sleep finally took her. I obviously don't hate him anymore.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"What do you mean I'm fired?" She stared at her boss in horror, not believing this was happening to her.
"Miss Parkinson, you were here under a trial period. Your extensive time off has..."
"Someone tried to kill me!" she shouted, not caring who heard at this point. "I lost my home, all my possessions, everything. I would think under the circumstances you'd be lenient with the two days I took off to get my affairs in order. It's not as if I disappeared off the face of the earth. I sent an owl!"
Her boss was a scrawny, old man with big teeth and a receding hairline. She knew the bastard hated her, but she never thought he'd resort to such maliciousness as this. If she was fired, she'd be royally fucked. She needed this job.
After looking at her finances, she had realized just how much trouble she was in. Living for free had helped with keeping her comfortable, but that was now a thing of the past. She still hadn't found anywhere to live and now had the Prophet harassing the Longbottoms to her whereabouts. Her life was a mess.
"I understand you had personal issues to attend to, and for that, I am very sorry. However, it clearly states in your contract that any employee under the trial period may not take time off for any rea..."
"You know what? Forget it. I can see we're getting nowhere, and you obviously don't have a compassionate heart in that skeleton of a body." She stormed to the door and snatched it open, only then realizing everyone in the office was standing motionless as they stared. She knew they'd heard everything and her face flamed hotly at the embarrassment.
Turning back to look at her ex-boss, she stuck her nose in the air with all the dignity she could.
"Voldemort is dead, and last I checked this isn't Hogwarts. But, it's clear some of you," she sneered at the Gryffindor crest of arms hanging on his wall, "can't leave war or house affiliations in the past."
With that, she slammed his door, smirking evilly as she heard that very same crest fall off his wall. The muffled yelling she heard coming from the office only made her smile widen as she made her way to her desk, the nosy bitches standing in the office still gaping, and cleaned it out with a flick of her wand.
It wasn't until she was safely enclosed in her room at the Leaky twenty minutes later that she allowed her facade to fall. Every tear that fell burned her cheeks, but she didn't bother wiping them away.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Sitting in the coffee house the next morning, Pansy browsed the employment section of the Daily Prophet, and diligently ignored the article on page three with details of her life. She was doing what she did best during times of distress; avoidance. She didn't want to think about how ridiculous her life had become in the last several days, but she at least had to find a job and somewhere to live. The Longbottoms were nice enough, and while she was grateful some people were willing to believe she'd changed and deserved a second chance, she still needed to get on her feet again.
Pansy was her own woman, preferring to make her own way and not on a handout.
Circling several ads, she absentmindedly sipped at her cheap coffee. It was hot, making her wince at the heat. She sat the cup down on the table, aggravated at her inattention when she saw a wand wave over her cup; the steam that had been curling through the air disappearing.
Furious, she glanced up at the pretentious bastard that dare touch the coffee she could barely afford, and was met with the smiling green eyes of Harry Potter.
She hadn't thought about him much since she'd lost her job, but seeing him now made her heart skip again, memories flooding her mind at rapid speed. She was sure she looked ridiculous as she stared at him, wide-eyed, without saying a word.
He chuckled softly. "Just returning the favor," he said as he motioned to her coffee.
Looking at her mug, she realized he had cast a cooling charm, exactly as she had for him in the hospital nearly a week before. She felt the anger drain from her body instantly, her cheeks blushing furiously at the things she came close to calling him.
"Oh, thank you," she said softly, returning his smile.
He nodded at her in return and stood awkwardly beside her. Feeling like a complete idiot she remembered her manners and asked him if he'd like to join her.
"I don't want to impose," he started, but she cut him off and said it was no trouble at all.
He unbuttoned his robes and slid them off his shoulders, placing them on the back of his chair before sitting. She had to snap her mouth shut as she took him in. His well-defined muscles appeared to ripple underneath his shirt making her mouth water. His hair was tousled, as was his usual state from what she could remember. He adjusted his glasses and scratched the side of his cheek before picking up a menu and looking it over.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts and returned to the paper she was reading, not really seeing the words that were printed.
Get a grip, Pansy, she thought to herself.
It wasn't until the waitress came to take their order that she looked toward him again. He was watching her closely, his expression thoughtful. It made her shift uncomfortably, and she decided to drink her coffee instead of look at him.
The bell on the door rang, an older witch walking in and towards the counter before sitting. She kept her eyes focusing on the jet black hair she had. It was long and straight as a board. It reminded her of her mother's.
"I hope you haven't had any trouble from the Auror office since your release." She took her attention off the witch and brought it back to him. Glad to have a distraction from the thoughts of her family.
"No, I haven't heard from them actually." A fact that she was grateful for. She didn't like the man that had been sent to interview her, and she was still using avoidance as her coping method of choice.
"Well, that's good I guess. We haven't made any leads in your case, but we're still working on it." He gave her a reassuring smile before sipping on his own coffee.
"I'm sure you'll find something," she said.
She noticed his eyes dip towards the paper, and quickly folded it, placing it in her bag.
"Are you changing jobs?" His voice wasn't accusing, just curious.
She bit her lip, furious with herself for leaving it on the table. She didn't want to share her problems with him. The truth was, she was embarrassed, even if she didn't have a reason to be.
"I'm sorry," he said, placing his hand on the table between them. "I didn't mean to pry."
Clearing her throat and taking a deep breath, she met his eyes. She could still put on an act if she wanted to.
"Uh... yeah, I lost my job yesterday," she said bitterly. Just thinking about her arsehole boss made her grit her teeth.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said sincerely.
She waved him off. "Don't be. I hated it, and it was basically just an internship anyway." It was a lie. The job had been very important to her, even if it was on a trial basis.
"Have you found anything new?" Once again, the concern he showed knocked her off balance. She didn't like for anyone to delve into her business, but somehow, it seemed different with him. She would normally be annoyed with someone asking so many questions, but she couldn't when he was the one asking. Her deeply ingrained suspicion just didn't seem to apply to him.
"Maybe. I just started looking, but there are a few things in here." She pointed at her bag where the paper was stored.
He nodded and took a sip of drink, once again with a thoughtful expression. Her attention was drawn to the witch who had entered moments before as she found a table near them. Although her hair reminded her of her mother, she was grateful that the similarities had stopped there. Her eyes were brown, not blue, and her nose was round instead of pointed.
She missed her mother dearly, and knew if she was still alive, she would have known exactly what to do. Pansy had always been resourceful, but her mother had a way of making sure everything worked out exactly as she wanted it to. It was a skill Pansy had never quite learned, but she still managed alright on her own.
"Do you like being an Auror?" Not wanting to think about her mother any longer, she diverted her attention back to the incredibly handsome man across from her.
He wrinkled his nose as he smiled, something, Pansy thought, was completely adorable.
"Yeah, it's... not quite what I expected, though. When we were in school I had this image of the Aurors and how they fought all the evil wizards to keep the rest of us safe. After fighting against Voldemort, well, it all seems to pale in comparison." He laughed, but it wasn't genuine. Once again she found herself trying not to wince as he mentioned unpleasant things from their shared past she'd rather not remember.
"That sounds kind of egotistical, but I don't mean it that way. It's just..." he was quiet for a moment, his eyes clouding with something Pansy couldn't name, "well, I expected more action, and not quite so much paperwork."
She laughed. "So it's not as glamorous as you dreamed it would be?"
This time, his laugh reached his eyes. "Exactly. It makes me wish I would have followed Seamus into professional Quidditch. He lives the high life and all."
"What? The great Harry Potter not living the high life? That's something I can hardly believe," she scoffed, and then immediately regretted saying it.
His smile fell slightly, and his eyes shadowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," she hurried to reassure him she was only joking. Nice Pansy. You can never keep your mouth shut, can you?
"It's alright, really. I know most of our world have a preconceived notion of me, and maybe to some extent they might be right. But... I'm just Harry. Not the savior of the world, not just the boy-who-lived-twice. Just…Harry."
For the first time in her life, Pansy felt sorry for someone other than herself. She had to admit that before he had pounced into her life nearly a week ago and saved her from a most horrific death, she had been one of the people he spoke of. She had believed Harry Potter to be a privileged, over-achieving, attention seeker. Now that she had gotten to know him a little better, she realized that wasn't true. He was just a man with a horrific past that he tried to leave behind.
She felt horrendously foolish.
"Well, just Harry, if it's any consolation, I am most grateful in your choice of profession." She tried to steer the topic back to a happier place, and gave him one of her winning smiles. She didn't like to see the shadows that lurked in his eyes, and was relieved when he returned hers with a cheery one of his own.
"He doesn't stay down for long, does he?" she thought to herself. "No wonder he was able to defeat the Dark Lord."
"It's not all bad. I get to see some pretty amazing things, even if it is at the risk of my own life." His chuckle was in no doubt an attempt to lighten the mood, but his words caused Pansy to stiffen. She had never really thought about how dangerous it must be for an Auror; always just taking advantage of the fact they were there to keep the rest of the Wizarding World safe. She didn't like the idea of him being in danger.
The old grandfather clock that sat in the corner of the coffee shop chimed, and Harry hastily drank the last of his coffee.
"It's time for me to head back," he said as he stood up. "I have a lot of work to do and a few leads to follow up on. Hopefully we can catch whoever tried to... well, whoever destroyed your house." He blushed as he backtracked on his words. He was trying to be sensitive about the issue, but Pansy was tougher than she looked.
"You mean find whoever tried to kill me?" She laughed. "It's alright, Harry. I'm under no misconceptions that someone has it out for me." She had a few ideas of who and why she was now homeless, but she wasn't ready to start thinking down that path. She kept her assumptions to herself, for now.
He frowned at her easy acceptance of the situation, but the chiming of the grandfather clock stopped any further discussion on the matter. He grabbed his robes from the back of the chair, and Pansy tried not to ogle him as he put them back on. She failed.
"It was really nice seeing you again, Pansy. Good luck with finding a new job." Her head began to spin at how fast his moods could change. She liked that about him, even if she found it very peculiar.
"You too, Harry. I mean seeing you, not the new job," she stammered, a blush crossing her face. She never stammered.
"I should hope not. I'm not really qualified for anything else." She smiled, grateful that he didn't draw attention to her fumbling words. She felt like a complete idiot.
"See you around, Harry."
With a nod, he was out the door. She watched him intently as he made his way past the window, returned his wave as he passed by and then disappeared into the bustling crowd of Diagon Alley.
Returning to her coffee, she finished it off quickly and retrieved the paper again. She declined another cup when the waitress offered a refill, knowing she should save her funds for more important things.
After rereading the same paragraph four times, she gave up. Her mind was on the man who had just walked out the door, not on finding a job. Every time he walked into her life, he threw her further off kilter. She knew she was attracted to him, but having these small conversations had opened her eyes to who Harry Potter really was.
He wasn't what she had expected. Maybe he had grown up, or maybe it was her who had. Regardless, she knew now that she liked him. More so than she wanted to admit, but there it was. She liked Harry Potter and wanted to get to know him better.
Watching the world go on with their lives as they passed by the coffee shop window, she sat and thought about what it would be like to become friends with Harry. All but one was oblivious to her sitting alone in the coffee shop, daydreaming of a green-eyed wizard.