FUN THINGS TO DO AT WALMART
Hello, link speaking. Did you ever get board with your friends and want to tell jokes, well I've got a few laughs with this section. For now in this chapter, fun things to do at WalMart.
1set all the alarm clocks to go off at tem minute intervals throughout the day
2Challenge other customers to duels with tubes off gift-wrap
3Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit
5walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got Code 3 in House wares." See what happens
6While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself, (loud enough for all to hear) "Who buys this crap anyway?"
7Rie a display bicycle through the store; claim you taking it for a test run.
8As the cashier funs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "WOW, magic."
9Put M&Ms on layaway
10Move "Caution; wet floor" signs to areas with carpet flooring.
11Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other isles.
12Drape a blanket over your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm batman; come Robin, to the bat-cave."
13Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
14Play with the calculators so that they all say hello upside down. And leave them upside down.
15when two or more people are walking together in front of you, run in-between them and say, "red Rover."
16Take up an entire aisle in Toy by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joe Vs. the X-Men.
17Hold indoor shopping cart races.
18Dart around very suspiciously while whistling the theme to Mission Impossible. You may hum too.
19Attempt to fit into very, very large gym bags. Note: Don't do this for too long, and don't do this while whistling the theme to Mission Impossible.
20Set up a 'Valet Parking' sign in front of the stores parking lot, or just in front of the store.
21when someone doest an announcement over the intercom, or loudspeaker, go into fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! Please not the voice again."
22Ssay things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me toward your Twinkies?" to employees, or non-employees who are wearing blue.
23Set up a tent in the camping section. Tell others that you will only invite them in if they bring pillows, aisle 14.
24Whem someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
25Look right into the security camera. Then begin to use it as a mirror to check your teeth. Then get out some floss and start flossing.
26Hide in clothing racks, and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick me, pick me!"
27If the store has a food court, order a soft drink. Then, when you get your drink, say, "You know, I don't really get out much, could I get an umbrella with this?"
28Go into the dressing room and yell, as loud as you want, "Oh my god, we are out of toilet paper in here.
29Announce over the intercom that there is a 'Blue-Light Special' is going on in 'aisle forty-two' or whatever isle you want, 'and only for the next tem minutes.'
30Pretend to fall asleep while playing a display video game in the electronic section.
31Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding that at strategic locations.
32When people are walking behind you, walk really slow. Do this especially in narrow aisles.
33Ask other customers if they have a grey poupon.
34TP as much as the store as possible. I don't recommend this, but hey, it's their.
35Make up nonsense product names and ask a newly hired employee if they have one. IE "Do you have any Plopocranites?"
36Take bets on the battle described in number 16.
37Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
38Leave little funny things in the hands of mannequins.
39Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
40Hide in the clothing racks and say things like "The fat man walks alone." See what happens.
41Hit on the elderly—42Hit on 5 year olds.
43Excessively use anything that says try me.
44Start pocketing any and all free samples.
45Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
46Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends have one too.
47Use a broom and gallop around while doing the best impression of a hoarse you can.
48Play a game of football; see how many people you can get to join in.
49See how much time you can waste from another customer.
50Take this list to Wal Mart and taped to a sign you know other customers will see. leave the title unknown.
51Take your math homework their and ask employees for help. If one actually helps you, act as dumb as you want, or like you have special needs.
52Grab some of the womens' undies and leave them in the men's underpants.
53Attempt to fit OTHER PEOPLE into very large gym bags.
54Two words, "Marco Polo."
55Put cheerios in the meet section, especially if the meat is stored in a freezer.
56Go into the twelve item or less line with thirteen items, one of them being the M&Ms your going to put on lay away.
57When you can't find the section for something, take it from someone else's kart saying, "I got it. Now I can put it on lay away."
58Move all the "Lane Closed" sign to one closed lane.
59Relax on the furniture if it has a furniture section.
60Try number fifty, only, take two lists and read one while attempting number 59 or 40.
61Stay in the same section for as long as you can, annoying as many people as possible.
62 While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
63Try number 62 in the dressing room before attempting number 28.
64. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
65 In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes! I got it! Wow, that was the biggest Cockroach I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant! Hey look, there's another one!" Then Repeat.
66 Repeat 65 with a can of bug spray.
67 Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs. Purrrrrrr.'
68 Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of French fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from Caldor's, but not WalMart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You disgust me" Then walk away mumbling to yourself.
69Dance like no body is looking.
70 Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
71 Play with the automatic doors
72 Play with the calculators so that they all spell "Boo" upside down.
73 When a stranger is talking to you for help, answer all of their comments, questions, or concerns with a question. IE. Hey, do you know where the electronics are? Then you say something like, what's you source.
74 Take your Friends to WalMart and give them the list. Then say Good Luck and leave them to their shopping.
75 Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!
76 Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department
77 Try on bras over top of your clothes
78 Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
79 Re-alphabetize the CD's in Electronics
80 Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms, unless you already see one. Who cares, make it bigger.
81 When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with one of their items without saying a word
82 When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with one of their items and use it to hide this list somewhere in the store.
83 When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "I'm here god I'm Here."
84 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels
85 Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. Then go into a working isle and attempt to hit on the person you were checking out.
86 Get boxes of Condoms, or anything else nobody needs, and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
87 Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a rabbit. Then look for a hat and tell people you're trying to pull your brother out of it.
88 Ride around on those electric cars standing up and yell, "I'm King of the World."
89 Play football or something with your friends, and act like you don't know them. 90, Play football or something with your friends, and tell your friends to act like they don't know you"
91 Do all of this with your friends.
92 Order Star Bucks at the check-out isle.
93 Go to Wal Mart is a costume.
94 Put ladies underwear in men's carts. Then accidentally bump his kart.
95 After buying ladies underwear, put it on the roof of a complete stranger's car. Stick around to see what happens. Make sure it was quite a huge stack spread out atop the car. I made this up.
96 Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized
97 Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my club". Then walk away. Sneak up on them later and say, hey I was just kidding. You don't want to get in trouble now do you!
98 Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
99 Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen my mommy
BONUS 100TH TRY AS MANY AS THESE AS YOU CAN IN ONE VISIT.
BONUS NUMBER 101, TRY TWO OR MORE OF THESE AT THE SAME TIME.