BEM: Yo and Hello fellow Hazzardites, My name is BEM this is Mel and we will be your hosts.
Mel: Howdy
BEM: I do not own Dukes of Hazzard, Smallville, or Cannonball Run (even though none of the actual Cannonball Run characters show up the race is being portrayed in a similar fashion to the movie... I think, I've never seen it…)
Mel: You saw the second one…with Catherine Bach.
BEM: It still made no sense.
Mel: --
BEM: Anyway I haven't watched Smallville for 2 or 3 years so I have no clue when this takes place…I'm sure if you watch Smallville you can venture a guess…
Mel: And we ignored the reunion movies…mostly, a few things show up that are similar, but mostly we just ignored them…btw.
BEM: Now on with the show…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chapter 1
Hazzardous Material
Jonathan Kent lazily flipped through the mail as he walked into the house.
"Anything interesting?" Martha asked as her husband pecked her on the cheek.
"Just bills and flyers," Jonathan replied as he continued to flip through it pausing as he looked at the last letter, "hello," he said raising an eyebrow and turning the letter over.
"What is it?" Martha asked trying to get a look at the letter but Jonathan just covered it with his other hand.
"Wrong address," Jonathan replied almost too quickly, "I'll go mail it."
He quickly dashed out of the house barely avoiding a collision with Clark.
"What was that about?" Clark asked as his mother began tossing a salad then quickly moving over to the oven to pull the chicken out.
"Just needs to re-mail a letter," Martha responded, "can you give me a hand with supper?"
Meanwhile Jonathan raced over to the barn and abruptly stopped. He took another look at the letter, back at the house, and then at the letter again.
"Hazzardous material," he grumbled tearing the top off the envelope causing a piece of yellow paper fall to the ground.
It's not that he didn't enjoy being a part of the Duke family, he visited them every year and would tear around in the General with Luke for old times sake, he just didn't want Martha finding out he used to be a racecar driver. He wanted a different life, on where he wasn't always running from the law and one when he could be a role model for his children…well…child.
He picked up the yellow piece of paper that had Cannonball Run written on it, he winced and then pulled out another small piece of paper.
Bo,
Uncle Jessie's farm is in trouble. Dixie and General will come pick you up on June 4th for the race.
With Love,
Luke and Daisy
"I'm 51," Jonathan mumbled stuffing the invitation into his jeans pocket along with the envelope and message, he then checked his watch, "shit, today's the third."
He walked back to the house shaking his head.
"Perfect timing," smiled Martha, "supper is almost ready, Clark can you please set the table?" she paused then looked at her husband, "is something wrong?"
"Wrong?" he asked snapping his neck up "no, nothings' wrong."
"Are you sure?" Martha pressed.
"Honestly," Jonathan replied smiling warmly, "everything is fine, say did you make chocolate cake?"
"You keep away from it, it's for dessert," Martha replied patting his hand.
They ate dinner and chatted about their day like normal, but Jonathan was barely listening, how was he going to explain this to them?
"Earth to Dad," Clark called waving his hand in front of his father's face.
Jonathan's head snapped upwards, "Uh, sorry, it's been a long day."
"Penny for your thoughts," Martha stated in a sing song voice.
"I'm just thinking about the wonderful family I have," Jonathan replied squeezing Martha's hand.
"We are lucky," Martha replied.
Clark smiled, mushy moments like this always happened around supper time, so he'd pretty much shrugged it off as normal conversation, not even considering a hidden mean amongst his father's words.
"Can you pass the salad please?"
The next day (like dinner) started out normal, Martha was going to go shopping and then meet one of her friends for lunch, so she gave Clark a ride to school leaving Jonathan at the farm on his own.
Jonathan had decided the day before that Uncle Jessie's memory would always be on that farm and he (along with all the other Dukes) would do anything to keep it in the family. He grabbed a small duffle bag, stuffed it with clothes and hid it in a bush near the front of the house incase they came after Martha and/or Clark got back and he had to sneak out.
"And now I wait," he sighed pocketing his wallet and looking out the window.
To pass the time he made himself a cup of coffee and even pulled out an old photo album stuffing the Cannonball Run invitation along with the letter and envelope into the back of it. Luke, Uncle Jessie, Daisy, and Cooter had given it to him before he left Hazzard to move to Smallville. He thumbed through it, laughing at some of the pictures. There was one of him and Luke in the Hazzard jail and a small caption underneath (obviously written by Luke) read "first time we ever got arrested". Underneath it was a picture of Cooter and it read "I may be crazy but I Ain't dumb".
Jonathan laughed and turned the page to see a picture of him holding a bow and arrow, a smaller picture across from it read, "Where the outhouse used to be." Another one had Daisy and him standing beside each other at the Boar's Nest with Daisy kissing him on the cheek, there was a lip print in red lipstick underneath it that Daisy had put instead of a caption.
There we tons more pictures, a favorite of his being where he had been lying on the hood of the General Lee with Daisy sitting beside him, Luke was leaning out the driver's window, and Uncle Jessie stood proudly beside them. It had been taken just after the government had rewarded the Dukes with a new paint job for the General, underneath this one it simply read, "The Dukes of Hazzard."
He looked though the entire photo album almost doing a double take when he saw Luke and Vance standing beside each other a smiling at the camera, Cooter had taken that just after Luke returned from the NASCAR circuit along with himself (before he ended up biting their head off for complaining about the radiator).
The album brought back so many memories that he could have sworn he heard the General's familiar Dixie horn outside. Wait a minute…
"Hey Bo!" came a voice from outside.
Bo snapped out of his memory lane trip and opened the door to see the General Lee and Dixie sitting in his driveway with Luke climbing out the General's window.
"Howdy," he called back smiling as Daisy ran up to him and engulfed him in a bear hug.
"You missed your annual visit," Luke announced as Daisy let go.
"Sorry about that, something just came up," Bo replied, he wished he could really tell them why, but just couldn't, not without giving away Clark's secret.
"Before we go, can we grab a bite to eat?" Luke asked, "We didn't have breakfast."
"Sure, take a look in the fridge," Bo responded walking out towards the General while Daisy and Luke walked inside.
Daisy and Luke we shocked to see such a nice house, they assumed Bo had been living alone and were amazed to see that the house was larger than it looked from the outside.
"Wonder why he never invited us out here before," Daisy wondered, "he's got room."
Luke made a beeline to the fridge and searched through it, "He's got chocolate cake," he gasped excitedly, pulling the partially eaten cake out of the fridge.
Bo looked around the General carefully fingering the sides of the empty window area and longingly looked at the car as he through his duffle bag through the back window.
He regretted not telling Daisy and Luke about his family, but he wanted to keep his two lives separate, even though they seemed presently to be colliding. He wanted a family but he was still deep down a thrill seeker. Martha and Clark were just as clueless about his other life.
"Not like they'd believe me if I told them anyway," Bo sighed walking over to Dixie but stopping short of touching the jeep. He knew Martha owned a frying pan and if anyone could find it, Daisy could…
Luke polished off his piece of cake and downed his glass of milk before placing the dishes in the sink, Daisy followed suit.
"Great cake," Daisy remarked replacing the remainder of the cake back in the fridge, "I wonder who made it."
"Hey look," Luke said picking the red photo album off the table; it had gold lettering on it that read "The Dukes of Hazzard", "He's still got it."
"That was fun to make up," Daisy sighed as Bo returned, she carefully place the album on a nearby shelf.
"Hey guys, you almost ready?" he asked as he scribbled a small note and stuck it on the fridge with a magnet.
"Sure thing," Daisy replied as she and Luke stood up to leave, "is that your phone?"
Bo and Luke disappeared out the door apparently not hearing her.
"It could be important," she decided and picked up the phone, "hello?"
"Hello? Who is this?" Martha asked in confusion as a woman answered the phone to her house
"I'm Daisy Duke, who is this?"
"Martha," she replied scratching her head, who the heck is Daisy? "May I speak to Jonathan?"
"Sorry sugar, there isn't anyone around here with that name," Daisy replied, "maybe yah got the wrong number."
"Maybe," Martha hung up and tried again.
"Hello?" Daisy answered again as she heard the General's car horn.
"Is this Daisy?" Martha asked, she could have sworn she'd dial the right number…
"Sure is honey, what can I do for you?" Daisy asked flinging her arm up not noticing the bracelet Bo gave her for her Birthday a few years ago slide off her wrist.
"Never mind," sighed Martha hanging up and shaking her head, she was not going crazy, but she just couldn't seem to get her own phone number right…
"What took you so long?" Luke asked as Daisy came out and Bo tossed her the keys to lock up.
"Wrong number," Daisy explained hopping into Dixie, "I'll race you to the other side of Smallville."
Bo nodded as both cars sped off.
"So are we going to let her win?" Luke asked and Bo shook his head.
"She doesn't do my laundry anymore," Bo hollered, easily passing the jeep.
Luke laughed in return as the General led the way.
A little while later Clark sat with Chloe, they had a spare period and decided to spend it outside.
"You know, it's been to quiet around here," Chloe sighed, "I mean almost a week without something weird happening, that's got to be a record for Smallville."
Clark smiled and looked up to see a bright orange car fly over top of them and then speed off again, closely followed by a white jeep.
"Well…that was interesting," Chloe said slowly taking a sip from her water bottle, "either they're very southern or racist."
"I vote southern," Clark sighed as a loud "Yee-haw" came from one of the cars.
"I'm inclined to agree," Chloe added, "have you ever seen it before?"
"No, I don't think so, I'm not sure how I'd forget if I did," Clark said, "I wonder who's driving, I mean most teenagers have class right now, and if they don't they're in the study room."
"Maybe it's an adult who is a kid at heart," Chloe suggested pulling out notebook, "do you know what type of car that is? "
"Chloe, why would I know anything about cars?" Clark asked as Chloe's eyes dawned in realization, "Chloe?"
"That was…That was the General Lee!" she exclaimed excitedly, "I need to get an interview!" she began to run off but Clark grabbed her arm.
"General Lee?" he asked raising an eyebrow as Chloe turned around.
"Bo and Luke Duke's car," she replied and at Clark's confused expression she sighed, "Bo Duke, Luke Duke… Beauregard Duke? Ugh Clark! The famous NASCAR drivers!"
Clark shook his head as Chloe sat back down.
"Won every race they entered, but quit after only a year and no one has been able to get an interview since," Chloe explained impatiently.
"And that's the car he drove?" Clark asked.
"No, but that was his car that he left back in Hazzard," Chloe said, "they used to talk about it all the time," she then jogged off trying to catch up with the orange car, but Clark knew that unless she had super speed like himself, it was a lost cause.
Martha arrived home around lunch time, surprised to discover the door was locked, that normally meant Jonathan had gone to town instead of working around the farm like he normally did. Too bad, she'd wanted to tell him about the orange car she'd seen in town…
She searched around in her pockets for her set of keys and quickly pulled them out while juggling with a few grocery bags.
"Hello?" she called as the door swung open, she wasn't too surprised to see that no one was home, she then noticed the note on the fridge.
Family Emergency be back in 2 weeks
Jonathan
She began to put the groceries away but noticed a small silver object on the ground glinting in the sunlight; she picked it up and turned it over.
It was an I.D. bracelet, on the front was that strange car and a jeep, she flipped it over and on the back was an inscription…
To Daisy,
No matter how far away I am I will always remember your birthday
With Love, Bo
"Daisy?" Martha wondered… then remembered, "That woman on the phone…"
She pocketed the bracelet and finished putting groceries away, she then noticed dirty dishes in the sink, two glasses and two plates…one probably belonged to Jonathan, then…was the other… Daisy's?
Martha shook her head, her husband wouldn't cheat on her, she was just jumping to conclusions, she was probably an old family friend…then why did she say no one name Jonathan was here? They were obviously there at the same time…
Clark arrived home to find his mother pacing around the kitchen.
"Mom, is everything alright?" Clark asked in alarm, "Where's dad?"
"I'm not sure," Martha replied sighing, "He left a note saying he'd be back in 2 weeks, something about a family emergency, but it's not like him to be so…vague."
"You can talk to him when he gets back," Clark reassured forcing a smile, his father loved his family and would never do anything to intentionally hurt them or make Martha worry.
"Clark?" Martha asked nervously, "has your father ever mentioned anyone by the name of Daisy to you?"
Clark thought for a moment, "No, not that I can remember."
Martha nodded and sat down in a chair, "He didn't even say where he was going…"
Clark decided that the only way to get his mother out of this slump was to change the conversation topic, "Did you see the orange car in town today?"