All was dark, twisty, sad and empty in the room.
Like in Meredith Grey's head. She was laying on her bed, tv turned ON, and tequila next to her. Amelia was at Owen's place, Maggie at the hospital and Alex…
…well, probably somewhere with a girl, flirting and doing it like the horny teenager he had become since the break with Jo. She usually don't like his girlfriends, but with Jo he was happy and now, he was back 6 years ago, like her, a debauched person who was in the worse period of his life, doing some dirty things, drinking a lot, who was being almost insociable etc…
And Mer doesn't like when his best friend is sad….
A lot of thing went through her mind. She wanted to fix all the problems around her, her friends's problems, but she had her owns. How to solve problems of someone else when it was impossible to fix hers. She had lost the love of her life in a car accident. One year ago and her sentimental and sexual life was dead, just like him. Sometimes, she had the impression to be again a virgin, a young girl without any experience, who was afraid of what the men can bring to her. And the first problem in her life, was THAT man. The new cardio surgeon, handsome guy, funny, strong, beautiful and terribly…..sexy.
He asked her to go out, she refused. Not because she was on Owen's side, but just because she wasn't ready to date someone else. She saw in in eyes he wanted more than a drink, he was interested in her like she was in him. And it was almost painful, cause she didn't want to melt for him, she was strongly resisting. But the view of him walking through the corridors, washing his hands post surgery, putting on his cap, completing the files…. Too hard to handle. She was watching him, studying all the gestures he was doing, all his habitudes…. And she was ashamed of it, why was she acting like that ?
Maybe because she wanted to turn the page, but couldn't. Alex has told her that one day, she'll be ready, without pushing too hard the destiny. It has been a long year, her body was ready, her mind almost. She wanted to have a life again. Watching her sisters being happy was hard, even if she loved them more than anything. Actually, she was a full time surgeon and mom of three young kids. No place for a man in her life. That's was she thought, until her first meet with Nathan Riggs.
« Are you dead ? Mer! Please, answers! » a knock at the door, followed by a loud voice stopped her in her thought. « I know you're here, i saw your car outside. »
It was a male voice. She acknowledged it, but stayed immobile. Not laziness, just no motivation. Her bed was terribly comfy and she was a bit drunk, not able to move her body to walk and open the door. But thanks god (or not) he opened it alone and entered, walking and falling on the bed like an elephant.
« I saw elephants sit down slower. » growling. « what are you doing here ? i thought you were in the bar, flirting with a girl you would bring and fuck on my couch like the other day ? » She was totally sarcastic.
The other day, Alex was very drunk, spent almost all the night at Joe's, and came home with a blonde. The next morning, while Mer and Maggie were picking down the kids for breakfast, they saw Alex's ass above the blonde's one.
« Boring. I don't want to fuck more girls. For now. » she heard at his voice he was a bit drunk. She had stopped looking the ceiling, and tried to move him with her feet.
« You have a room in my house, get out, i need my bed. » she said, bored.
« Why ? it's almost 3 am, and i know you'll not sleep anymore… » rectifying himself. " I'm drunk but i can see you haven't sleep for few days because you're anxious, nervous and sad about something you won't tell anyone. So tell me, what's happening ? »
He raised head and eyes on her, seeing she wasn't happy anymore. She had some moments like this. Sometimes she was very happy (a different kind of happiness that for the others ones), and sometimes she was sad, dark, twisty and mad with everyone. He saw how the people at work were watching her. And he heard some of thing they have said on her, not pretty things.
« It's about the guy ? The new guy who work with Pierce ? » still watching her in the eyes, knowing something was perturbing his friend.
And as a guy, (and a guy friend with 3 ladies) he saw how Meredith was watching him. And how he was watching her. There was kind of alchemy, something strong like with Derek at the the beginning, when they were interns.
« No. Sleep now, and tomorrow i want you to be fresh and ready for work at 7 am. »
She didn't want to talk. Not to a therapist, not with Richard. Sometimes with Alex but today, no. Then, Mer put the bottle on the floor, turned on her right side like a foetus and closed her eyes, ignoring Alex's grunts and hoping to find sleep for few hours….
oOo
« Grey! How are you doing ? long night ? you seems tired. » he said to her with a big smile. She raised eyes to sky, trying to being zen and insensible to his charms. She was tucking the strands of her blonde hair behind her hear, praying the elevator to come faster.
« Fine. So do you. » pointing with a movement of head the dark circles under his eyes.
« I've an excuse, i was thinking about you. A lot. » he replied with sexy accent that always has makes Meredith's heart melt like an ice cream under the sun.
« Stop it. We're in a hospital full of sick people, we're surgeons and colleagues, we don't have time for that. »
« For what ? » he replied with a fake innocent smile, happy the elevator was slow to arrive.
She gave him a black look. « You know what. We're colleagues, we don't do that. »
Nathan smiled, and came forward, to be very close of her, speaking softly... He wanted her to hear but not the others. And being so close to her was kind of exciting, his heart was bumping so fast in his chest that he think for a moment he was having a heart attack.
« Tell me exactly what do you mean by « that » and i'll stop….stop being evasive Grey, i want you to be honest about what you're feeling.
Because i share with you the same trouble. »
Ding.
He was cut by the elevator. Meredith escaped from his hold and entered into the elevator with her sleeping patient.
She turned herself in front of the door, watching him with a mysterious and troubled face. She was gaining time. She needed it. Because it was hard to know what she really wanted, what she really needed.
« One day you'll know everything Riggs….. »
oOo
English isn't my native language, I'm doing my best but if there's any mistakes, tell me!