Christmas Eve in the Akatsuki base was like every other day. Tobi was getting on Deidara's nerves, Deidara was trying to blow him up, Kakuzu was complaining about money and the economy and Zetsu was arguing with himself in between wondering if Kisame really did taste like shark. Yes, Christmas Eve was yet another ordinary day to our favourite villains; with one added difference of course.
Hidan trudged through the hallways, a scowl on his face. Christmas wasn't his favourite holiday. In fact, he detested it. Celebrating the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ? Bah Humbug! Jashin is the real god! No matter what that good for nothing book says. What kind of name is 'the Bible' anyway? Hidan didn't see the point of the gifts and never bothered to send any. He wasn't the only one but then, Kakuzu had selfish reasons. The decorations were tasteless, as was the food and the whole 'Santa Claus' thing, please, he was just some mental patient that escaped from the hospital and broke into people's houses. Hidan despised everything Christmassy, especially that horrible music that got stuck in your head like Tobi's hand when he was stuffing the turkey.
"Tobi! Shut the f*ck up!" Hidan yelled at the easily-excitable man-child who decided to burst into yet another verse of 'Frosty the Snowman'.
Unlike Hidan, Tobi loved Christmas. The presents, the giving, the delicious turkey and the elegantly decorated Christmas tree with the sparkling lights. Not to mention the harmonious music and white, glistening snow. Tobi's favourite part of Christmas was of course, Santa Claus. After Deidara and the tooth fairy, he was his idol. Giving presents like a jolly saint and not wanting anything but cookies and milk in return. Tobi vowed to be as kind-hearted as him when he grew up.
"But Hidan-san! Tobi just wants to spread the holiday cheer!" Tobi told him, spinning round in a full circle before singing, or screeching to most people, 'Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer'.
"Yeah, well do it somewhere else!" Hidan told him before shoving him out of the way and walked to his room.
Tobi stared at him confused for a couple of seconds before smiling and waving. "MERRY CHRISTMAS HIDAN-SAN!" he called joyfully.
"Bah! Humbug!" Hidan replied as we walked through his bedroom door, firmly shutting it behind him. He considered his room his 'anti-Christmas' sanctuary. There were no decorations, no gifts, no dry food and definitely no idiots singing Christmas carols. Just him, Jashin and the smell of blood. Sweet~!
Hidan grinned. This was more like it. There was nothing in here that could be considered blasphemy. Unlike all that other crap that decorated the living room. Plastic reindeer and Santas? Come on! What sane person would place those things around their house? Probably the same person who thought it would be a good idea to put a dead tree in the corner and throw boxes wrapped in coloured paper underneath.
Hidan knelt down, clasped his hands together and shut his eyes. "Oh heavenly Jashin~!" he prayed. "Guide me through this blasphemous holiday which that b*tch Tobi keeps trying to get me to celebrate. Help the other b*stards see that the true way of life is Jashinism and that you're the true god and not that f*cking Jesus..... Oh and another thing, can I sacrifice Kakuzu now? That *sshole is getting on my f*cking nerves. If you want him to live longer for some stupid f*cking reason, give me a sign!" he finished, opening one eye to see if Jashin would disallow him to sacrifice his 'beloved' partner. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips when nothing happened, just as he expected.
Hidan was about to close his eye again and continue with his prayer when he heard footsteps approaching his door. He eyed the portal warily before rolling his eyes. It was probably just Tobi trying to spread more cheer or Deidara attempting to blow him up. When he heard no singing or explosions, he started to think. Only his, Deidara's and Tobi's rooms where on this side of the base. Who could it be?
Hidan's eyes widened as a pale hand floats through the door. The hand spreads its fingers before closing them together in a fist. "Jashin?" Hidan asks surprised and scrambles backwards. "If this is about Kakuzu, I swear I won't sacrifice him! I swear on my f*cking life!" he yelled. A familiar red head followed the hand through the door and the body behind it. Hidan's eyes widened and he took in the image of the being standing in his room. "Holy f*ck...."
"It's me you moron!" Sasori said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. "I know it's been a long time but it couldn't have been so long you'd confuse me with your little god." he added.
"But- But you're dead!" Hidan stated the obvious. It was several months since Sasori was alive and breathing or at least, that's when Zetsu announced his death. Now, he wasn't so sure. He didn't remember Sasori being this pale or..... transparent though and he doesn't recall ever seeing him pass through doors or float before.
Sasori sighed. "Well, obviously I'm a ghost." he pointed out and rolled his eyes. It would only take an idiot not to notice that. He just flew through a solid object for crying out loud!
Hidan stared at him dumbstruck before looking up towards the sky. "You think this is f*cking funny, don't you?" he asked Jashin. "When I said to give me a f*cking sign I didn't mean for you to send Sasori's f*cking ghost!" he exclaimed.
Sasori eyed him strangely before rolling his eyes. "Hidan. Leave your little god alone for two minutes and listen to what I have to say!" he ordered him. Hidan diverted his attention back to Sasori, awaiting the message he presumed was from Jashin. It was a strange outlet but he wasn't one to judge his lord's almighty ways. "You will be visited by three ghosts; the ghost of Christmas past, the Christmas present and the Christmas future." he told him.
Hidan blinked. "Are you f*cking with me?" he asked.
Sasori looked at him blankly. "Yes Hidan. I came back from the dead to mess with your head." he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.
"......B*stard....."
"Hidan! I was serious!" Sasori told him. "Three ghosts will visit you and you better listen to them!" he added and glared.
"Why the f*ck should I listen to you?" Hidan asked, crossed his arms and glared back at Sasori's ghost.
"I don't have time for this....." Sasori muttered under his breath and rolled his eyes. "Look; just listen to them. There will be consequences!"
"Oh yeah? Like what? They'll kill me? I'm immortal for f*cks sake and if they somehow managed to f*cking kill me, I'd be the happiest Jashinist in heaven!" Hidan yelled at him.
"You think you're going to..... Never mind!" Sasori said and shook his head. "The worst thing imaginable will happen to you if you don't and trust me, it will be pain that even you won't enjoy!" he added. He guessed Hidan still wasn't listening to him but come first ghost, he'll wish he did. Sasori smirked at the thought.
"So let me get this straight.... Are you seriously trying to tell me that three f*cking ghosts are coming to visit me and if I don't listen to them, they're going to beat me up?" Hidan asked, an eyebrow raised. "Seriously?" He didn't know.... it sounded kind of sketchy.....
Sasori floated past Hidan and hovered next to his window. "Not exactly 'beat up' as 'cause pain'...." he told him vaguely. "Well, as long as you listen to them, maybe you won't find out!" He floated halfway out, or rather through, the window. "Now remember, listen to all three ghosts Hidan, it'll serve you well...." he floated out the window completely, his last words echoed in the room.
Hidan blinked a few times before rushing over to the window. He slid it open and stuck his head out, looking for Sasori's spirit but it had disappeared. He eyed the forest warily as he shut the window, locking it for good measure. He shook his head as he made his way over to his bed. "That is the last f*cking time I eat anything Tobi cooks! I swear to Jashin!" he muttered and lay down on his bed and, soon enough, he was asleep.
"Hidan?" a voice said. Hidan ignored it. "Hidan?" the voice repeated. He grunted and rolled over. "Hidan!" the voice yelled.
Hidan lazily opened his eyes. "What?" he hissed. His eyes widened when he seen his human alarm clock. Well, it wasn't exactly human either.
"I am the ghost of Christmas Past!"