Hey a oneshot. I know it's stupid to start it without having finished 'Life with the Akatsuki' but I had the story pop up in my head. So as to not forget it I wrote it. :)

But I am still working on the 5th chapter of 'life with the Akatsuki'...

I actually wrote this story while listening to "Savin' me" by Nickelback and "Apologise" by Timberland ft. One Republic. Great inspiration....!

This one-shot was actually meant to be called 'a vicious circle' but I don't know it just didn't seem right...

ooooOOOOOOOoooo

Love & Life

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry"

-Unknown

Life is a never-ending cycle.

Round and round it goes. Repeating itself over and over again.

I realized this as I lay in this damned field, bleeding my guts out. I had vowed to myself that never would I make the same mistakes. But here I am.

Human nature is a strange thing. You always want what you can't have or do what you're not supposed to do. Just like a child. Keep telling them that they shouldn't stick their fingers in the plug and one day you find the child's fingers in the plug.

I looked at the blue sky. My vision was all blurry from the blood loss and tears. Tears of pity. Self-pity.

I laugh and tell myself 'I should've known' but deep inside I knew that it would end like this. But we don't learn from our mistakes. For the child, after being scolded, comes once again near the plug to stick his dainty little fingers inside.

And one day you burn yourself.

Same as the child lying motionless on the kitchen floor eyes wide in surprise and fingers burnt, stuck to the now black plug.

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile"

-Unknown

It all started the day I entered the academy and saw that boy. Dark blue spiky hair, pale features contrasting with his pitch black eyes that seemed to me full of loneliness. Uchiha Sasuke. It was love at first sight. Thinking back, I was so innocent then and a little on the stupid side if you know what I mean. Don't know what about him attracted me.

Soon after I chased after him and was entitled to be a fangirl. And to say that I was happy when he was in put my genin team would be an understatement. I was ecstatic. Then started team 7's (Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and me) wonderful adventures.

It was not long after my 13th birthday that my life took a turn for the worst.

Uchiha Itachi, clan mass-murderer as well as Sasuke's older brother came to Konoha to collect the Kyuubi, which I learned post-havoc, was a chakra demon currently residing inside Naruto's body.

However, losing to Itachi and especially meeting him for the first time after the Uchiha massacre had taken its toll on Sasuke and he fell in depression. During the following week he kept to himself, only eating when necessary; that is when he was famished. He must have been brooding over his future revenge.

Eventually, Sasuke decided to take action and leave Konoha to follow Orochimaru in a chase after power to be able to defeat his brother. Orochimaru who had inconspicuously made an appearance at the chuunin exam, attacked us and disappeared the same way not forgetting to mark Sasuke.

Sasuke was just on the principal path heading to the village door, ready to leave our lives. That's when I followed him and made that gruesome confession. Yuck. I'm sick from just thinking about it.

'you're annoying'

'I know'

'I'm different from you all and from here on out we all begin new paths'

'but I...I...I love you with all my heart !!!'

And bla bla bla bla.....

The usual, extremely common shit we sprout out during a confession. What angers me the most is that stupid 'Thank you' he said before making me fall into unconsciousness and setting me on that m***** f****ing bench. Come on! by the end of the day I'd caught a cold. Uchiha jerk.

I laughed roughly, breath suddenly catching in my throat and making me choke on my saliva.

Well anyhow I'm not gonna make you a picture since everyone knows this story already-sadly.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

-Unknown

Five years and a half later (17 years old) I entered Anbu while Naruto stayed a juunin because an Anbu can't become a Kage.

So one day I got this mission where I had to go to a certain village where an unknown virus was spreading rather quickly. But I never got there.

On the way I was intercepted by two Akatsuki members. Deidara and...Sasori.

(flashback)

Deidara jumped out of the tree in front of me.

'Well, well what do we have here. Pink hair and green eyes. Guess you're the target.' Then he started laughing like a maniac.

I looked at him questioningly 'What's wrong with you.'

'You're a freak. Who's ever seen pink hair. It's an aberration'

'Says the wanna-be transsexual with mouths on his hands'

'Why you little..'

He was cut off by Sasori. No wait he's supposed to be dead. We killed him, Chiyo-sama and I.

'Ho...how. How can you still be alive. The swords through your heart. I saw them.'

'That is for me to know and you to find out.'

(end flashback)

Then battle started and I lost but not without inflicting a painful chakra filled kick at the blond's ribs. So they put me unconscious and I ended at the Akatsuki hide out.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

-Maria Robinson

At first Akatsuki was like hell to me. Everyone was weird. And they held me hostage for the Kyuubi so that added to the hate I had for them.

But gradually things started to calm down. I was allowed to walk around the base freely. I made friends with Deidara and strangely with Sasori too. Kisame even though he was strange looking plus drunk when not on a mission, was funny to talk with.

Finally as the three first months of my being there passed by Akatsuki felt like family, while I forgot that I actually didn't belong here and that I was a prisoner.

During the fourth month things got really dirty. And my life took a 360 degree turn.

(flashback)

I was sitting outside in the grass looking at the tree branches that gently swayed in the evening breeze. Fiddling with the bracelet that prevented me from using my chakra to escape I felt strangely content. I felt calm. It was movement behind me that shook me out of my dream like state. Yet I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"What do you want Itachi?"

"Hn"

"Whatever Uchiha"

I stood up gracefully and took less than two steps when a long fingered hand shot out and caught my left arm in a powerful but nonetheless gentle way. My head snapped up at the sudden contact.

"My eyes..."

"W...what?" I stuttered very much like Hinata used to when near Naruto.

"My eyes...heal them"

I sniffed at the way he said it. "No"

The grip on my arm tightened. And as I looked up at Itachi's face I nearly winced at the deadly glare he shot me. "It was not a question" he said calmly.

(end flashback)

No need to say that I finally agreed to heal his eyes especially when his hand was nearly crushing my arm.

So every day at after diner I would go up to his room and heal him. The more time I spent around him the more I took a liking to him. Stupid I know considering who he is. Especially when I had vowed to myself to never fall in love again. Ever.

During our healing sessions I saw a side of Uchiha Itachi that nobody, not even Sasuke had seen. I saw the real him as he turned off his Sharingan to reveal dark grey eyes. They looked so tired bot somehow so full of life. Pain, love, happiness, hatred, pity... all emotions seemed to overflow and twirl in him. That was my down fall. Somehow I knew that there was more to him than just a murderer or an Uchiha. No matter how hard he tried to rid himself of his emotions they would still live on.

"Pain doesn't hurt if it's all you've ever felt."
- Unknown

Not long after we had our night. One night of pure intense bliss. The night I felt complete.

(flashback)

It felt as if we were one as we kissed roughly while tugging our clothes off. My hands worked quickly on his cloak. His hands too were moving frantically pulling at my shirt. I paused he pulled it over my head and threw it away in a corner of the room. His cloak soon fell to the floor meeting up with my own.

Itachi bit my lower lip. I returned it with a nip of my own.

The man broke the kiss for a moment and pushed me onto the bed. I grimaced in pain as my feet hit the bed frame, but he climbed on top of me, silencing me with his own lips, taking advantage of my open mouth by sliding his tongue in. A light gasp of surprise escaped me, but I welcomed it happily as our tongues fought for dominance. My hand slowly crept around his neck and undid his hair tie. I rubbed his scalp earning a groan from the man on top of me. A light smirk tugged at Itachi's lips as he rubbed his tongue against mine in a sensual manner, his hands beginning to explore my body.

He kissed a trail from my lips, my neck to my shoulders where he kissed and nipped and bit making me toss around on the bed at the new sensations that my body was discovering.

All the whilst one of his hands was holding me at the hips his thumb moving in circles on my hip bone. The other hand was caressing my sides. He paused slightly on the curve of my breast and grinned at me. He slid down my body kissing whatever piece of skin was in front of his eyes.

My face flushed and I threw my head back as he took one of my now rock hard nipples in his mouth pulling on it and rolling it around with his tongue. I gripped his head tightly at the feel of his mouth. He then switched to the other breast doing the same thing over again.

He came back up still kissing and nipping.

Then he bit down on my collarbone while palming my breasts. My back arched into his hands as I emitted a low moan, writhing on the bed. By now, a certain heat that I had been unaware of previously was very prominent, and I could feel the wet heat pooling between my thighs, so I rubbed my legs together to quell the fire that coursed throughout my being, originating at my core. I knew what that was but there was too much...feeling, so thinking was not an option. I solely focused on Itachi's skilled hands and the sensations that they generated.

When I suddenly felt one of his hands down by that heat, I gasped and tried to move away, embarrassed to be touched in so an intimate place. But Itachi just pushed back down pinning me to the bed with his weight.

He then continued kissing and licking my neck and breasts, soothing me, before a sharp jolt of pleasure overtook me as I felt him run his fingers up and down my slit, triggering an incredible overload of sensation. By now I was just a pile of mush on the bed, hands pulling my own hair and back arched continuously. My head kept moving left to right as I moan and groaned.

"Kami,",I breathed overwhelmed with the sensations that were encompassing my entire being. When the light touches abruptly stopped, I groaned, and snapped my eyes open to meet amused crimson. "Itachi" I moaned "Don't stop. Not now…."

He merely cut me off by thrusting into my core in one powerful stroke. I drew in one sharp breath as I felt my insides ripping open to accommodate him. I had read in books why it hurt by never could it describe the amount of pain in caused. Itachi, probably sensing my discomfort, stilled, allowing me time to adjust to his wide girth. After several moments, I looked him in the eye and nodded so he could start thrusting again.

At first, his thrusts were slow and shallow, still an attempt to ease my pain. But I quickly became aware of the fact that the pleasure seemed to cover up the pain, and encouraged him to go faster by lifting my hips up to accompany each thrust.

It seemed as if he was just waiting for this for almost instantly, his thrusts became deeper, harder and faster, and a light sheen of sweat covered both of our bodies. Embarrassed by the sounds of pleasure that escaped my mouth I tried to stifle it by biting on the nearest thing, his shoulder. But he instead captured my lips with his own.

While thrusting with his hips, Itachi's hands were busy running up and down my body, tweaking and pinching my hard nipples sending a shock wave of rippling sensations up my spine making me lose my breath."Oh god Itachi...ugh" I wanted to return the favor but I mostly found myself clutching onto the sheets below us tightly.

We were in harmony, our bodies were perfectly synchronized, his pants as loud as my moans as I felt an incoming rush of something.

I felt something coil in my stomach. When I heard Itachi lowly breathe my name, the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my -short- life. I felt an explosion in my lower body as he thrust in an especially hard and deep way.

I threw my head back screaming out Itachi's name as my back arched whilst he groaned. We shook as we came, hips jerking in a couple of clumsy thrusts.

Before collapsing completely, Itachi rolled onto the rumpled sheets at my side, and we bathed in each other's heat in the now silent room, save for our heavy breathing.

(end flashback)

I felt complete but I now know that it was bound to be wrong and undone. And how could an Uchiha fall in love with poor me. Haruno Sakura a stupid little girl with pink hair and green eyes and no shinobi background. No special power. No nothing.

(flashback)

I woke up the next morning alone in the bed. My inner thigh hurt like hell but it had been worth it. Never had I felt something as intense as that. Ironic how I had always thought that the one to take my virginity would be Sasuke but turns out it was his brother.

I laughed at myself. Shaking my head I looked for my clothes that should have mostly been strewn around the room. I was surprised when I found them neatly folded on a chair.

I smiled at the thought of Itachi being a neat freak.

I picked up the clothes and after a quick shower, dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast.

Morning was uneventful. So I just went outside.

I was just about to go back inside when Itachi came at my side. I felt all hot inside as I could feel his body heat through his clothes making think about the night before. But Iwas cut off by Itachi's deep voice.

"Forget about what happened"

My head snapped up. "Huh?" I asked dumbstruck.

"I don't like repeating myself" He turned on his heals and walked up to the front door. I ran after him and caught his cloak sleeve.

"S...stop. How can you say that, just like that. I gave you my virginity and you just to tell me to forget about it!!! Do you think it is so easy? Do I mean nothing to you?"

He looked at me emotionless, "I am a criminal I do not need attachments"

Bewildered I shook my head, I snickered tears swelling up in my eyes, "Oh so you sleep with women whenever you get the feel. I never thought Uchiha's were like that."

"I am a man" Itachi replied frowning at the intended insult but did not deny it. He snatched his arm away leaving me alone in the middle of the greenery tears of despair and self hatred running down my cheeks.

(end flashback)

I smile at the memory. I really am hopeless. I always seem to fall for the wrong ones.

There again The person I fell for left me alone tearful in the middle of nowhere. But lets be positive. There is some progress. I was not left unconscious, there was no bench and no 'thank you'. Maybe next time the guy will not leave me, that would be great.

I looked up at the sky once again. My eyes teared up once again as pain shot through me from the wide open wound in my stomach. 'If there is a next time' I thought.

"Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones."
- Philippos

Not long after the scene with Itachi Konoha attacked the Akatsuki hideout. And so I was brought back to Konoha. Back to my real family and my real friends. And surprisingly Sasuke was there. Naruto told me that they had met on the way to the hideout, but that they had to bring him back here after retrieving me because of an injury he had sustained during the attack. Since the wound was poisoned they took him to Tsunade-shishou, myself not in the state to heal him being myself out of chakra and injured. Itachi was actually the cause of the injury as a matter of fact. Again a repetition in my life.

So now to the reason why I'm in this field bleeding my life out slowly but surely.

After being healed, Sasuke headed immediately after Itachi to finally enact his revenge. I panicked when I learned he had left and followed him. I came out in a field completely devastated. Trees were lying on the ground. Earth was upturned. In the middle lay two dark forms. Two bodies. Itachi and Sasuke.

The loves of my life.

(flashback)

I ran towards them, stopping near Itachi who I reached first. As I was starting to checked his vitals, I didn't see the dark form approaching inconspicuously behind me. Nor did I hear the sound of chirping birds. I didn't even feel the pain of his hand go through my stomach. I just saw Itachi's eyes open abruptly. His vision probably blurry from the blood and sweat smudged on his face, he took his katana which lay at his side and thrust it out at the enemy. However I was between him and his enemy.

There was a sudden flash of orange and a scream, "SAKURA-CHAN !!!"

I fell forwards on Itachi coughing up blood. I saw his beautiful eyes open wide in realization as an unsure voice behind me repeated my name over and over again. "Sa...Sa...kura. What..."

Arms wrapped around me as I saw Naruto running over to us. "Sakura. No. What happened. Can you hear me?"

I heard a sob and a whimper. I smiled. My hand came up to the blond's face who was crying. "Hush. It's okay Naruto. Don't worry. I'm okay. I..." I coughed once again.

Sasuke sat down next to Naruto, eyes all teary. The arms tightened around me protectively. I looked up to meet Itachi eye to eye. I saw something in his eyes but he quickly turned his away. His arms let me go and he slipped out from under me with great difficulty being injured and all. He stood up and walked away limping.

I looked at him as he walked away from me once again. I chuckled at the 'déja vu'.

"The hottest love has the coldest end."

Socrates

Naruto craddled me in his arms whispering soothing words in my ears. Pain was spreading over my whole body. Then he put me down and stood up with Sasuke at his side. He looked at me and smiled tearfully. "Sakura-chan we're going to back to Konoha to get Tsunade-baa-chan. She'll heal you in no time."

I smiled in approval not wanting to risk coughing blood again. That would make Naruto cry.

Naruto and Sasuke hesitantly started to run in direction of Konoha looking back once or twice until they disappeared in the they were gone I knew it was safe to cry.

(end flashback)

And that is exactly what I am doing. Crying my heart out as I lie there on my back. So many things happened but somehow they all seemed to be so...similar.

Itachi and Sasuke.

Both Uchiha's.

I fell in love with both.

The same bad boy aura around them.

The same smirk and aristocratic features. The same kekei genkei. Sharingan.

They both turned their backs on me, rejecting me. Leaving me.

And finally...

They both killed me.

I laughed loudly or tried as the blood in my mouth made it sound more like a gurgle. My body shook and jerked as I felt my last breath get stuck in my throat.

I smiled as my eyes closed. ' I'm sorry Naruto...'

"In the end everyone will hurt you... it's up to you to decide who is worth the pain."
- Unkown

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity..."
- Gladiator

Conclusion: "There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy."

Jean Anouilh

_ _

Reviews are welcome.

Critics too so don't hesitate. Maybe I'll do a sequel because the end is really bad. However Sakura will not make an appearance since she is dead. Maybe a sequel just on every bodies lives and feelings after her death. What do you think?

Well see you soon....!!!