Falling For a Demon
It had started off as a simple respect for her power, he swears. How could he not respect her powers after all? Because really…she had been sixteen, a full year younger than he had been, when she passed the S-Class Trials. It was impressive, a feat only surpassed by Erza Scarlet. But that chick was driven and completely nuts and Laxus was smart enough to know he didn't really want to get on her bad side. Although if anyone told her that, Laxus would electrocute that person until there was literally nothing left but a black scorch mark on the ground.
He had watched her pretty much from the moment she had entered the guild, to be honest. Although not in a creepy, stalker fashion, like that psychotic rain woman; it was more like he was just…interested in her. He found her utterly fascinating, although as a teenager, he would never have admitted it. She had just been so…different. She was different than any of the other members. Sure she had a past like everyone else did, one that he was pretty sure wasn't anything good, but at the time he wasn't really aware of, but there was something more about her. She had had to display such strength and perseverance to bring not just herself but her siblings as well to Fairy Tail and Laxus had found himself…admiring her for it.
As he had grown up, he had started to ignore his kinder heart and become obsessed with the idea of strength, even ignoring the idea of family, the idea that had shaped his entire life up to that point. He figured it had started when his father was ejected from the guild and he really hadn't understood, at the time, why. Looking back on his behavior, he was highly appalled with himself.
He would still shudder when he thought about how he refused to help his guild during the attack from Phantom Lord. He had refused when she had asked, almost pleaded, for his help…in the most disgusting way possible. He still wished he had not rejected her that way, partially because it made him look like a pervert, but mostly because of the look of utter disappointment and disgust she had given him.
Then there had been the whole "Battle of Fairy Tail" thing. He was going to become master of Fairy Tail through force and recreate it around the principle of strength. He hadn't realized what a joke that would be until after everything had gone down. He did regret how he went about everything and fully realized he wasn't ready to be master of anything, let alone master of such a guild as Fairy Tail. But there was one thing he didn't really regret…he didn't regret her return of power, although he did regret how it had occurred. A wizard without their power is like a candle with no wick… Losing her power had made her a kinder, sweeter person, but it had also left a hole in her soul. And even though it had happened in a terrible manner, he could never regret that it had happened. Seeing her with a part of her soul missing had crushed a part of him without him having ever realized it until after the fact, until after he had been expelled from the guild.
While he had been gone from the guild, he had done a lot of thinking. More than he ever had before and he had come to many conclusions while he had wandered. One of those was that he was an utter bastard for what he had done to his guild. Another was that he somehow had to make up for what he had done to them. The last though…the last was what had thrown him for a serious loop. He was, if not in love, infatuated with Mirajane Strauss. He wasn't sure when it had happened, when his respect for her power had grown into something more, but he couldn't deny any more that it had happened.
Laxus really wasn't sure when it had happened; he could not pinpoint an exact moment. But there was so much about her that he couldn't help but admire. She was strong, compassionate, forgiving, loving, kind…she was a light in his darkness, even if she didn't know she was. If he had to pinpoint one moment that had morphed his feelings though…he guessed he would have to say it had been during the Fantasia parade…
His grandfather, the man who had truly raised him, had given him the signal of Fairy Tail, despite what he had done. He had cried as he realized Makarov still supported and loved him, despite his mistakes. He had realized his guild still stood behind him, still saw him as family, and it had broken his heart further and made him feel even guiltier. But her…she had looked at him, truly looked at him, and in her eyes he saw forgiveness, and love. He saw everything he had ever been searching for, without even knowing, in her gaze in that moment, and it had taken everything he had to turn from her and leave her behind. At that precise moment, as he turned his back on his guild, on his family, on her, he had seen the understanding in her gaze, but also the sadness. Despite it all, she had been sad to see him go, more so than anyone else, even Makarov, and for some bizarre reason, it had filled him with strength. Because he would come back when he was worthy. He would come back to prove himself to his guild, to his family, but most of all to her…
"Laxus?" a soft voice interrupted his ruminations on their past as he sat in the back of the guild. Startled, he pulled his headphones off and looked up at the beautiful white-haired woman standing before him. She smiled gently as she laid a plate full of food in front of him and turned around again, heading off to back behind the bar he was sure.
"Mira…" he called to her. She turned when she heard her name, a questioning expression on her face, but then a smile as he grunted a soft, "Thanks." She just nodded and walked away again, leaving him in his corner by himself. As he watched her walk away, he realized she didn't have the full understanding of what that "Thanks" meant. He didn't just mean "thank you" for the food. It meant so much more than that. Maybe one day…maybe he would have the strength and courage to tell her everything he felt. Maybe one day he would be able to look at her and say, with no trace of fear, "I love you, Mirajane Strauss." And maybe one day…he would actually be worthy of hearing her say it back.