Awakening
I felt as though I had been asleep for years and years. Lost in a dreamland I had merely perceived as reality. For the first time in eighteen years everything became painfully clear. As Jacob pulled his lips away from mine, I realized how much I really and truly loved him. I looked up at him with my newly opened eyes with wonder and awe; how had he known this whole time? How had he been so sure when I was so blind?
"That should have been our first kiss" He whispered as he began to untangle himself from the death grip I had on him.
"Jake, please don't go! You don't have to fight, I need you here!" I begged desperately. "If you didn't come back after...after what just happened, I don't know what I'd do! I need you!"
"What do you mean? Are you telling me that you felt what I felt just now?"
"I-I don't...w-what?" I mumbled, knowing the exactly what he was asking, but afraid to let myself answer honestly.
"Are you saying what I think you are? Bella," He bent his head toward me, intensity burning in his eyes, "are you choosing me?"
I nodded my head as my tears flowing freely again. A wave of pain washed through me as I realized what I was going to have to give up for this choice.
"Oh, Bella!" He practically sang as he swooped me up in his arms and spun me around in the snow. "I knew you loved me! I knew we were meant to be together! But I never thought you'd realize it, blinded as you were by the bloodsucker's charms." Hearing his casual mention of Edward send new ripples of pain throughout my body.
Edward—my life and my heart for the past two years. The one person whose mere presence was enough to quiet every fear, every doubt, every insecurity I'd ever known. But even now, through all the hurt and guilt, I realized that he was only my security blanket. My promise that as long as he was around, I was going to be alright. My crutch, my guardian angel, but not my love. I knew that I needed more. I needed Jacob.