A/N: I don't own Naruto. I own nothing except my own insanity. I'm writing this at work first and then typing it out. So... not gonna be updated too quick. This story's setting is sometime before Sasori and Deidara emerge officially. Ages have been changed a bit.

Royally Yours - Ch. 1

Ino had had her share of unusual missions, despite being quite busy with hospital work. However, this had definitely been the first time that she had been asked to pose as royalty. A feudal lord's daughter was to make an appearance at a parade, but they had received word that assassins might try to kill her during the show. Tsunade recommended Ino as the most competent look-alike she could find.

"You'll have a few days before the mission starts to get familiar with the layout of the town. Your mission is absolutely top-secret, and though you will have standard escort, they will leave you once you switch with the princess. She'll be escorted here, disguised as you."

She bowed politely. "I understand, Tsunade-sama."

"Good. I hate to put you in so much potential danger, but it is necessary to maintain your cover. Jounin guards, even under cover, would look suspicious in your company. Instead, their village offered to hire their own outside guards for the parade. Even I don't know who they will be, so the cover should be solid. You'll need to leave as soon as you're prepared. However much time you need on this mission, take it. Your team, along with Yamato, will be going. Yamato will track you remotely... just in case." Her golden eyes narrowed slightly.

"Hopefully it won't come to that. I'll make sure of it. Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Just make sure you keep your cover up! You're dismissed."

"I don't look anything like her, un."

"Relax, brat, you won't have to dress up like the princess after all. Our employer found someone more suitable."

"More like someone female... un," he scoffed.

"...you do look like her though."

"Sasori-danna, I do NOT look like a woman! UN!"

Sasori's burgundy eyes scanned Deidara's long blond hair, thick lashed eyes and lithe, if muscled figure. "You are androgynous."

Deidara's brow quirked. "Huh?"

Sasori scoffed. "Never mind, idiot. You don't have to dress up. We just have to guard whoever is."

"You're not gonna drag that awful piece of trash along, are you, un?" He gestured to the puppet Hiruko, Sasori contained inside.

"This... trash... is one of my finest pieces of art, but to keep our cover, I will... remain outside."

Deidara gave him a long look, knowing how adverse to being out in the open Sasori was. "You sure you wanna do that? I thought you didn't wanna come out until you were complete, un."

His voice rasped harsher. "You're not making this any easier, brat." He scowled as best as he could from inside Hiruko. "I can't take my puppets along with me. It would ruin our cover. No clay birds, either."

"Geez... why did Leader-sama give us such a shit mission? He knows we're better at assassination, un."

"We will kill the assassins. That is enough."

"Yeah, I guess, un. How long are we on this one?"

"The mission statement says a week, but it will take longer. It really depends on whatever complications might happen with the assassins."

"Nah, we'll get this done in less than a couple weeks, Sasori-danna. It's just a bunch of assassins. Chuunin, maybe Jounin, un."

"Whatever the case may be, we can take all the time we need. We are getting paid very well for this, and every precaution must be taken."

He smirked. "So that's why you took the mission, un."

"Don't be stupid. Money means nothing to me. It's for the organization."

"Yeah... we really need the money, for sure, un."

"I hope they have good food in the village."

"Of course they'll have food. They have a princess. It's such a troublesome way to get there, though."

Ino scoffed at the two. "Choji, Shikamaru, I've been hearing you complain since we left Konoha! Can't you find something better to do?"

Shikamaru was laying on his back inside the horse-drawn cart they had rented for the journey. The covered cart would keep them out of sight, though he could see a patch of sky. "The clouds are nice today."

Choji stared at one of the sheep sharing their wagon. "Lamb chops..."

Ino was currently stuffed between two sheep in the corner, and hung her head with frustration. "I don't know which of you is worse..."

Asuma couldn't stop sneezing. "I... ACHOO... think I-I'm allergic to... ACHOO! To sheep... Ino... Can you... sniff... do something?"

She sighed, dislodging herself from her woolly prison to get near Asuma, fingers at his sinuses. "Allergies, no infection." From inside her pack, she found a bottle of small white pills. "Take one now, and one tomorrow. Don't take more than one a day. If you're still having problems, tell me and I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

At least someone was polite around here, she mused. Between Choji drooling over the sheep and Shikamaru always trying to do as little as possible, she was going nuts. Not that she hated her boys, but she would admit she looked forward to having a mission without them.

Hills and plains rolled by, the only scenery along the way. They were headed for a neutral, though powerful country filled with grass and plains as vast as an ocean. She and the others had grown up around thick forests, and seeing only clusters of trees here and there, surrounded by tall swaying grasses on all sides, made them uneasy. They felt so... exposed. The intense silence, only a few birds and the odd antelope surfacing, didn't help at all.

"Sasori-Danna, this place feels weird, un."

"You grew up around mountains, of course it's weird, brat."

"Yeah but it's so quiet, no birds except the big black ones, un. Don't you get weirded out by how lonely it is out here?"

"No. The desert is a much lonelier place. Now come on, we're wasting time, you know I hate to wait." Sasori turned from his partner abruptly, his short-cropped red hair ruffling in the breeze. Deidara knew well enough by now not to push the subject. When it came to them discussing the villages they left behind, the conversation stopped. No exceptions. It was one thing the two artists agreed on implicitly.