The Us in Justice

Summary: Maybe Declan's not the only reason Jack came back from his search for Amanda. / Takes place in 1x18, when Daniel's on trial for Tyler's shooting.

Notes: I've had two versions of this extended scene on my computer for over a year now. There's this version and another one that I might post if I figure out how that one ends exactly. Enjoy.

You can also find this fic on tumblr and AO3. My name's the same on everything.

The Us in Justice

"How are you holding up?" Jack asks.

We're days into Daniel's trial by this point, and Jack's probably the first person to ask me that sincerely. Reporters ask for a scoop they can sell to the world. Charlotte asks to make sure I haven't turned against her because of her substance use. And Nolan always asks because he wants me to change my mind, to support Daniel or to leave him, but to get out of this quest for revenge regardless.

When Jack asks how I'm doing, he just wants to know about me, nothing else. It's simple. If only my answer could be.

There's a sigh that must come from me. "I'm… managing." Managing Daniel's trial, my conflicted emotions, Jack coming back…. I blink away the emotions before I lose control of them.

Jack nods, then lifts his right arm up to make enough space for me to lean against him. "Come here."

I do. I scoot over on the table just enough so that his arm can wrap around my shoulders and I can rest my head against the top of his chest. Close but not too close. I can't get too comfortable with him. Can't get used to relying on someone who I was supposed to have sent on a wild goose chase this entire murder trial.

He's the one person who needs to stay unaffected by this. I'd rather he waste his life searching for Amanda than wind up trapped inside the Graysons' reach again. Not to mention how jealous Daniel would be if he saw Jack here. With Daniel on house arrest, he'd blow a fuse at the thought of not being able to know what we were doing.

Though, he wouldn't be able to intrude either way. Coming over here means spending the rest of his trial in a cell, so this is the most privacy I could have with Jack at this point. And it has been fifty-eight days since Jack took off to find Amanda. Even longer since I've felt like I felt anything at all.

"You're quiet," Jack says. "Should I not have-"

"No." My hand's on his to keep him from moving before I can stop myself. It works. He stays. "I just…. It's been a long few days." A long life really.

"Are you mostly alone? You could come back to the Stowaway. Or go next door to the Grayson's."

"Victoria's not too pleased to have me there."

Jack practically scoffs. "I don't think Victoria's ever too pleased about anything."

Emily smiles. "True. But I like being here. It's home, and it's snowing, so it's beautiful out there."

"Yeah, Amanda said that one of the best feelings was walking on the snow on top of the sand. Feeling the water and the earth right there beneath her toes."

She laughs. "Until Dad comes running down the beach with shoes." Closed toed ones because it's winter, even if they are at the beach.

Jack shifts slightly to look down at her. "Amanda told you about that?"

Her face stiffens, even though he can't see it. She puts on a smile before lifting up enough to see him.

"We shared a lot. Probably not as much as the two of you."

"Probably more, honestly. Amanda would much rather hear about my life than talk about her own."

"In her defense, it's hard to talk about some of that stuff." Hard to think about the good times when all of them only led up to nights in juvie, or a not-so-fake engagement to the boy next door. "She's lucky to have you, and she knows it."

"You have me too," he says, then backtracks, "Not in the same way. You're with Daniel, and - what I meant is that I'm here for you too, Emily."

There's not a lot of space between us. His arm's still around me, but my head's almost level with his, and if I wanted to - if I let myself want to - I could kiss him without moving more than a few inches.

I could lean forward, and all of that hard work of pushing him away would be over. Maybe he'd just know everything from there. He'd put together why we can't stay away from each other, and he'd get Declan, and we'd go somewhere for the holidays. Nolan could come too. Charlotte as well. Just the people who matter, just family.

I rest my head against his chest again.

"Thanks, Jack."

"Anytime. My offer to hang out at the Stowaway stands."

I don't want to shoot it down, and honestly the thought of being in a bar only makes me think of drinking to forget this whole awful situation. I sit back up, adding a bit of space between us.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Porter?"

He chuckles, and it almost sounds guilty. "You know there is never a good answer to that question."

I try to look scandalized with wide eyes and parted lips. "You are trying to get me drunk then. And here I thought you came back to save Declan from Nolan's cooking."

Jack shrugs. "Among other things." Like me? He glances away. "I figure you might need a friend during all of this."

"That would be great."

"Good because I don't think you're getting rid of me again any time soon."

Promise?