A/N - I knew that if I didn't upload anything soon after so long then I would continue to just spiral into laziness. This is the result of that. Written quickly, I may edit it later on.
This also turned out about twice as long as I wanted it to.
The Troubles Of Hibari Kyoya.
That was the last time he was lending Hibird to that stupid herbivore.
To say that Hibari Kyoya didn't like company wouldn't exactly be strictly true, he just didn't like herbivorous company. For example, he could tolerate Kusakabe's presence because the other male knew when to be quiet and just lurk in the background (unlike so many other people that he could name) and plus it was always fun to have somebody to boss around.
That child that hung around with Sawada was alright as well, not the obnoxious cow suited one but the other one. The one that stared at him all the time. She had it right, with that look that could only be described as adoration (if he was honest he would have preferred fear, he was the almighty Hibari Kyoya enforcer of Namimori after all, but adoration was a close second).
Then there was Hibird.
"Hibari~! Hibari~!"
Opening his eyes lazily, Hibird always seemed to know when Hibari was really asleep, the prefect watched the little yellow speck circling down lower and lower before it landed on his knee, which was propped up as he leant back on the wall.
Hibari wasn't exactly sure why it had decided to take a liking to him but by now it was a comforting presence to have around. Plus, the bird was intelligent, he doubted even half of the students in Namimori knew all of the words to their school anthem, just what he needed in a pet.
Unfortunately his little companion had one fatal little flaw. For some reason the bird actually liked the stupid Cavallone and would always go to him and snuggle up whenever he was around, which meant that Hibari had to hang around as well because he wasn't leaving without his pet (Dino had almost once said something like 'they do say that pets reflect the sentiments of their masters' but Hibari had swiftly beaten that idiotic, pleased looking smile off his face before he could complete the notion).
Like now, for instance. The sudden puffing up of Hibird's feathers and the happy chirrup that the creature emitted meant that Hibari knew who it was who dared to try and disturb him when he was resting on the roof and so wasn't surprised when it suddenly took off from it's previous perch and flew over to something behind him.
"I wish I had a bird that could talk," Was Dino's opening line and, sure enough, when Hibari turned around the Italian was standing there with Hibird perched on his shoulder nuzzling affectionately against his cheek. If he were not completely used to the Cavallone's moods then he might even have believed the sadness and longing in the man's tone. As it were he didn't. Not in the slightest.
"You would only teach it frivolous things," He replied bluntly. "Now what do you want? Quickly."
He ignored the expression which could probably be best described as a pout that was on the other's face, knowing that if he indulged Dino's whims then there was the possibility that he would never leave him alone again. This seemed to work for almost as quickly as it had appeared his expression had lit up again in a way that Hibari didn't trust.
"Hey Kyoya." Dino sidled closer to Hibari, though not near enough that the prefect could get a swipe in without having to go through the effort of moving from his spot. "Can I borrow Hibird for a while?"
Hibari blinked a couple of times, wondering where that had come from. "…Why would you want to do that?"
Seemingly unperturbed by the suspiciousness that had edged into the question Dino merely continued petting Hibird with one hand, taking a moment before he answered. "We're doing some digging on someone in the Yakuza and we need someone to listen in on the conversations."
"Doesn't your family have over five thousand members? Couldn't one of those spare the time?" Hibari replied flatly almost immediately.
"Please?"
"No."
"Pleeeease?"
Aware that this could go on all day if he let it Hibari finally let out an irritable sigh which Dino immediately took as acquiescence to do whatever he wanted. Before he had even realised what was happening Dino had skipped off back down the stairs with his pet in tow, leaving Hibari behind and Hibird-less.
------
After about a week or so there was still no sign of his pet being returned but, just when Kusakabe was almost genuinely starting to feel sorry for the unfortunate victims of Hibari's ever growing wrath, when a week and a half passed and Hibari was patrolling around the school grounds at the end of the day he heard the familiar trill of the school's anthem and looked up to see an even more familiar shape cruising down to land on a branch nearby.
"Hibari~! Hibari~!"
Although he would rather die than admit it he almost felt relieved when he heard the comforting sound of his name. If he was one for being sentimental then he might almost have said that he had missed it.
"Dino~!"
Hibari whipped around so quickly, tonfas out and snarl fixed on his face, scaring the couple of first year students who had been walking behind him half to death and causing them to scurry away hurriedly, expecting to come face to face with the blond that it took a moment for him to realise that there was nobody there and that the word that came out of his bird's beak had been something other than the Namimori anthem or the prefect's own name.
"What did you say?" He turned to eye the little ball of feathers again suspiciously only to receive an innocent look and a ruffling of feathers in return.
"Hibari~!"
Relaxing his guard somewhat he slipped his tonfas back into concealment, steadfastly ignoring the wary looks he was receiving from those around him. It must have been his imagination, though he was loathe to think that the pathetic herbivore might have been on his mind.
"Dino~!"
Now that definitely had not been his imagination. Once more he looked over to his pet who had now started whistling carelessly to itself as though there was nothing out of the ordinary. Taking a few steps forwards he was startled into backtracking when Hibird burst out with something else once more.
"Hibari likes Dino~!"
The group of girls walking past at that moment looked around at that and stared with a mixture of astonishment and confusion before bursting into giggles (quietly, since they didn't want to invoke Hibari's anger) and scurrying off whispering between each other. Fortunately for them the prefect was frozen in mortification and barely noticed them, feeling the urge for retribution rising and hoping against hope that his ears had been deceiving him and that he had misheard.
"Hibari loves Dino~!" With a flutter of wings Hibird expertly evaded it's master's outstretched fingers as the boy stepped forwards to try and grab it and took to the skies, meaning Hibari could do nothing but watch as it circled higher and higher repeating the mantra that Hibari just knew he would be hearing for a long time to come. "Dino loves Hibari~!"
'Cavallone…'
That was the last time he was lending Hibird to that stupid herbivore.
Omake. Kind of.
It was almost impossible for anyone, be they lowly student cowering at his feet or high ranking mafia members, to hide from a determined Hibari Kyoya for very long and so it was only really a matter of time before Dino found himself cornered on the rooftop of Namimori.
Even though there were no tonfas in immediate view (not that that meant much, there were times when he could swear that Hibari just willed them into existence) Dino did not trust the calm nonchalance that the other was exuding. Calm and Kyoya just did not go together.
"I want your turtle."
"It was just a joke Kyoya! Don't take it so-" Dino instinctively cringed back in a manner which wasn't really befitting to a mafia Don but when there was no flash of silver and nothing trying to smash his skull into a pulp he paused and straightened up again."-You… what?"
"Your turtle." Hibari was looking completely serious, holding out of his hand expectantly.
For a moment Dino eyed him carefully, weighing up his options. Was it worth risking having his beloved pet turned into turtle soup (did they eat that here in Japan?) just to placate an angry Hibari and ensure that he wasn't bitten to death (for now, at least)? Well… when he put it that way…
Eventually he reached into his pocket and pulled out Enzo, who blinked sleepily a couple of times, before handing him over and trying to ignore the sudden evil glint he could swear he could see in his student's eye.
After that little incident he didn't hear from Kyoya for several days. While this wasn't particularly unusual nor worrisome it also meant that he had no idea what the prefect was planning to do with his pet. Torture? Food? Some kind of twisted Hibari-esque experiments?
Therefore when the aforementioned creature suddenly appeared in front of him one day with no prior warning it was only natural that the blond be completely overjoyed, bounding forwards happily. Oblivious to the sudden gleam in the animal's eye he reached out his hand towards the turtle.
Only to have Enzo promptly bite him on the finger.
'Kyoya…'
That was the last time he was lending his turtle to Hibari.
I think I fail at humour. It seemed better in my head, I swear.