Payment
This is a sequel of Consequences and Curiosity's first chapter: His consequences.
Rated M: For my piece of mind.
Warning: There are some concepts, torment, and dark imagery that some won't enjoy.
Disclaimer: This series is owned by better people than me.
This is my second fic. and will be my first attempt at a first-person POV, it may make no sense at first but it will hopefully become clear at the end. I hope that it is worthy of being a sequel. If not feel free to drop me an appropriate review so that I may make the necessary changes.
Sorry no beta on this, so please forgive (or point out) the errors.
Present Day
"I know that it will help in the long run but I can't help but hate the weather right now," my lightly strained voice floats from my anticipation filled face; as a gentle rain changed to a downpour, plastering short black hair to my pale face.
"Patience," your light gentle voice whispered. Your face is calm and patient and totally untroubled by the beginning of the turbulent weather, "just a little longer and the noise will definitely be appreciated."
"I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. It's finally time!" Excitement laced so strongly through my voice that I can hear it trembling. That tremble expresses itself on my body in the form of a shiver and the large, dark green bag on my shoulder almost slides off in my joy.
"Yes, three long years," your gentle voice almost cracks with all of your choked emotions.
"I'm sorry that it took so long."
"There's no need to apologize, there was only so much you could do."
"But-"
"No, don't you dare even think like that," you cut me off sharply. "That wasn't your fault; it's his and his alone! Do you understand me?"
"Yes, it's just so frustrating to be so close and have to wait even a second longer."
"I understand, but just think of what's going to happen soon."
A serene smile edged it way onto my face, "Yes, all our planning will soon be put to use." Even as I spoke I could see the dark smile edging its way to your face.
'I'm so happy that I was able to bring back your smile again,' my tears sliding down my cheeks unnoticed in the rain. 'It took so long for that to come back, even I was starting to think it would never happen.'
Three years ago
Gray, that's what the world looks like now, nothing but a muted sick imitation of how life is supposed to be. The once bright and pure sunshine is now replaced by ugly pastel. 'Will there ever be color again? Or will it always be like looking through dirty frosted glass?'
At least this is better than that hospital. I hated the smell of that place and being surrounded by all that falsely cheery white like they were trying to sterilize the very blood in my veins. And the straps, I hated those straps at least here they don't do that to me. Plus the food was truly foul how do they expect people to get stronger with that crap?
But I think that the thing that I hated the most were the visitors, people I had never talk to in class or even in passing in the halls all started to visit. Talking in their meaninglessly cheerful voices and asking about pointless things. And looking at me like that, did they honestly think I was going to answer such worthless questions?
Though there was one voice I waited anxiously for. We'd been together for so long and you've never neglected my pain before; so I just couldn't figure out why you didn't come to see me, you're too kind to simply ignore me all of the sudden.
I'm confused until I think back and I remember that you were always so fragile. And that after all of the injures that he gave you; you had to heal as well.
'Yes, that was why. After all you were hurt worse than I was, so it only stands to reason that you'd be there for a longer time.' That's okay now that I understand I can wait for you. My mind calmed down and my shoulders finally released their tension.
Besides at least here those pathetic fakers don't bug me. Though I'm not allowed out of the room, at least I'm freed from the bed. Even though it's still ugly and bland at least I can go to the window and look outside though I don't know why I should bother, it always seems to be winter out there. 'Surely winter isn't this long, shouldn't it have ended by now?'
I don't know why there's never any slush on the ground to match the dirty clouds, or how the sun can shine when it's so dark out. I just don't get why the sun can't seem to cut through the gray, snowless winter. Or how in the world all those fragile cherry trees can bloom at this time of year, shouldn't the heartless winds have blown them all away?
Sigh. 'Another day with the ugly gray world, but something seems different. I can hear somebody but they sound so distant. Who's there?'
"Hello"
'I know that voice! You're here!' I've been waiting for you for so long that it seems like forever.
"How have you been?"
I can see you now, but you look so different now so pale and unhappy that all I can do is stare. God, didn't you take care of yourself, or could you not stand the hospital food either?
"…"
You look so sad it breaks my heart all over and as you continue to stare all I can do now is cry. I don't know if I'm happy or sad, perhaps both. I'm so happy that you've finally come but I'm sad that you still don't look healed up, those beautiful eyes are still shatter and haunted.
"Please don't cry I didn't come to upset you."
'How like you to be so concerned about somebody else despite your own sorrow,' now I hate myself because you've been through so much and all I can do about it is to cry harder and upset you.
"I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to upset you, I just wanted to see you. I'll leave you now." Your eyes look so larger in your delicate, heartbroken face at that moment.
I hate myself so much for causing more sorrow for you, you deserved better. "No, please don't go. Don't leave me. Please I'm so sorry, just don't leave me!"
You just nod and come to sit on the edge of my bed, and peer intently into my face. "You really don't look too good," I can hear you whisper softly.
"I know but I can't help it."
"What do mean?"
"I just keep thinking about everything that happened," sorrow lacing my voice. You just look at me sadly and it breaks my heart again.
"You shouldn't, you can't change it."
You stated it so bluntly that I can't help but to feel a little angry. "I know I can't change it but what happened wasn't fair!"
"No, it wasn't. But nothing can or will change it so you should stop dwelling on it."
"How can you say such a thing? What, are we supposed to do just act like it didn't happen?" I might be getting a little shrill, but my god how could you suggest such a thing. Yet you just sigh patiently as I vent my anger.
"I'm sorry, I've upset you again I will go now."
"No, please stay!" my voice rises in panic but I can't help, I don't want you to leave me. And you just shake your head as I go to grab you and make you stay.
"I'm not disappearing forever, I'm just going to let you calm down and rest. I'll be back tomorrow."
"Do you promise?" I'm sure I sound ridiculous but I can't help it.
"Yes, I promise."
Three simple words, yet they mean everything because I know you'd never lie to me. With those three words I lay down to rest, because you were right, after all that talking I was tired.
I wanted to talk to you but instead got rudely awaken by some bald nobody in a white coat. A doctor? I don't like doctors and I despise that phony smile, talking like he's my friend but he doesn't know anything about me, so why should I talk to him? I shouldn't, so I won't, plain and simple.
I wait for you as the annoying white coat keeps asking questions, but I should've known that you wouldn't show yet you've always hated doctors too.
'Ah, lunch time. White coat will have to stop talking now!' It's only a small reprieve though.
'It's those annoying people and their obnoxious voices again, always saying such meaningless things. Don't they understand that I don't want to talk to them, I wish they just let me go to sleep so that I can be ready to talk to you, you're the one that I need and the one who needs me.'
'God I hate that man,' I'm so angry that I can't see, can't even eat.
'How dare he say that about you? I'm glad that I hit that jerk, that'll teach him to say such things.'
"You're not eating?"
"I've missed your voice," I said almost smiling at you through the reflection in the window as you make your way from the door to sit next to me.
"You really should eat you know."
"…"
"You're still angry, aren't you?"
"Why shouldn't I be, do you know what he said?" I didn't mean to yell at you but I was just so angry.
"Yes, but was that really any reason to hit him?"
"He deserved it," I insisted stubbornly. You just give a small sigh; I should have known that you wouldn't feel angry even about this. As I catch your eye again I say something that even you can't argue with, "you're just too forgiving." I have to strain to catch your tiny whispered reply.
"Perhaps I am, but what can I do about it." Your voice sounded so hollow and haunted.
I remember your reply as I try to sleep and it haunts my dreams making me think about that time.
Screams echo in the dark, transforming into light fluttering moans. Then there's that smell, that musky stench that combines with a metallic tang to clog my nose. Then light cuts in and I can see a pale broken figure lying restrained just as I once was in the hospital. But my mind knows that I don't want to remember that and the scene suddenly shifts.
Now I see you sitting in a falsely remembered beam of sunlight when suddenly sluggish shadows loom behind you. As I try to move to help you I discover that I'm trapped by the dark and the unknown monsters are creeping closer to you. I never knew that I cried or screamed that night until the white coat asked me about it the next day.
I have another visitor today the white coat seems really excited by that. No, not excited exactly more like optimistic maybe; I don't know why and I don't really care all his talking is making me remember my dreams and I'm not in the mood for random company.
'Besides if that bald jerk really cared about me, he wouldn't have made me remember those dreams-'
"You don't look very good, didn't you sleep well?" Your soothing voice interrupts my internal rant.
I know you're not the visitor that white coat was talking about because he's never excited by you. But I couldn't be happier that you're here, you're more helpful than any of them. Of course before I can answer there's another interruption and you decide to leave because you don't want to intrude, you really are far too kind for your own good.
"Oh, Lenalee you're looking well today, how are you feeling?"
'God, please, not that annoying woman again!' I feel like shouting in exasperation. 'It's not like she's actually concerned, I mean my god she doesn't even wait for an answer!' I noticed that she turned to the door but I don't care I've gotten good at ignoring the pests in this place, so I don't even know that she's opened her mouth.
"I'm sure that she's very happy that you've come to visit her."
'Just more endless babble,' but unfortunately her annoying presence and voice just set my mind wandering. And where does it wander to but to those terrible dreams. Then it wanders to before the nightmares to the statement I made to you and your reply.
My mind was so focused on it that I never noticed that someone else had joined me at the window or that they had a familiar face, though I do vaguely recall hearing something about weather but it's always winter here so who really cares. Not me, I supposed that's why I didn't notice when he left.
'That's odd, where did those come from?' As I got ready for bed I noticed fresh flowers in a vase that one of the other pests in white had left awhile back. Thankfully as I slept this time I don't think that I dreamed.
Another gray day awaits me but its different this time now the sun almost seems real I think it's because I'm actually feeling excited just knowing that you're going to visit again.
"Do you like it here? If you don't then you'd better move on because if you don't try they'll keep you here."
Not this again, I thought we'd moved past this. 'Why do you sound so sad?' I think as I try to come up with a proper answer. "Of course I don't like it here, who would?"
"Then you need to stop dwelling on it."
Again you say that so bluntly. I can't help it anymore and I ask the question I've wanted to ask for so long, "How can you so calmly say to just get over it? He's destroyed so much," my tears threaten to overtake me.
"Then you should focus your energy on repairing his damage."
Before I can ask anything else the woman with the falsely cheery voice bustles in and you fall silent, ignoring her attempts at talk. I don't blame you they hardly acknowledge me either. But at least now they've learned not to say anything bad about you because I'll still hit them if they do.
Laying here and watching the moon shine through the curtain I thought hard about what you said and I came to a decision. I'll talk to you tomorrow and your answer will decide how things would change. Now that that's taken care of it's time to sleep, I have a feeling tomorrow will be another tiring day.
"At first I couldn't comprehend what you meant. But I think I know now and I want to know if I can count on your help?"
"You'll have to convince them that you don't need to be here." You answer without knowing what I was asking and without my explaining it to you.
"How can I do that?" I ask in all seriousness because now I, no we, have a purpose.
"You'll have to start listening to them."
I look skeptical, "that's all, just listen to them?"
"No, that's merely the first step. Next you have to talk to them." You look a little hesitant now.
"Okay, I can listen but what if I say the wrong thing to them? I could be here longer, and why do you look so nervous?" There's no hiding the accusation in my voice.
"I'll help find the right things to say."
"…"
"…"
Breaking the silence I have to ask, "So why do you look so nervous?" I'm now a little afraid of the answer, 'what could possible upset you?'
"They'll probably say bad things about me again."
"But-, "you cut me off before my temper gets the better of me.
"And you can't let yourself get upset or violent or they won't believe you." Even with your soft voice I can tell you're just as upset about this as I am.
"Fine, if it means I get out of here I do what I need to do." My mind is firmly set; I am getting out of here.
You just nod but I can see that your eyes are filled with support. Then another thought crosses my mind.
"But what about after I get out?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean how will we proceed when I'm out?"
"We'll have to do some homework first. Then we'll take it from there." I can only give a small smile in reply, 'your confidence is unshakeable isn't it?'
Another tiring day but this kind of tired is good, we have a purpose. Just before I succumb to sleep I went over the day's events in my mind and I came to a surprising conclusion, you've managed to bring a smile to my face but I have yet to see one on yours. That's almost more disturbing than any nightmare.
Today's the day we start our plan and I can barely contain my excitement, but I'm also nervous and want to talk to you because you always calm me down.
"You should relax a little or they'll never believe you." God I must've been nervous because I didn't even notice you come in the room.
"Sorry." I give you a small smile that, like always, you don't return. 'Come to think of it you haven't smiled since then, have you?'
"You look distracted, what are you thinking about?"
"I want to see your smile again," I state bluntly. You sit in silence for a moment.
"When you get out of here, I'm sure that my smile will return."
"Yes, when we're finished with everything; I'll do everything in my power to bring your smile back," I promise but you now look skeptical.
"First you need to get out of here."
"Then I will, because more than anything I want your smile back." I state firmly.
"Do you mean that, will you do anything to ensure that?"
I'm interrupted from asking about what your cryptic reply meant when we can hear footsteps out in the hall. But I can't complain about how much they bother me because now the plan is in effect. And we need them to believe it.
'Who would have thought that talking to that man would be so tiring, even my body aches. I wish I could've have talked to you before the day ended.'
I thought it would be easier than this. Telling them what they want and convincing them that it was the truth was hard. But I know that I can convince them, because I'll do anything to bring your smile back. I honestly thought that they'd be happy to get rid of me and speed this up a little.
'But no they just keep asking questions, their voices merely a parody of the way it once was. They now question my sanity in their mocking tones of false concern, kindness, and sympathy. The simple reality is they don't care, they just want their money,' I thought bitterly.
'Just believe me and let me go already!' I'm starting to get frustrated, but at least you've kept your words and are helping me with what to say. It sucks that you can now only come at night, but we can't risk them banning you from seeing me.
Tomorrow will be the biggest test, no matter what they say about you I've got to agree or I'll never get out. Yet despite the fear and knowledge that they are going to anger me and I know that I can't yell or fight back; tonight didn't end so badly, because I got a smile from you at last.
It wasn't when I voiced my fears for the next day, but when I expressed my annoyance about not being able to defend you. Right then is when I saw it, it was so small that if the room where any darker or I had blinked I would have missed it.
Yes it was small but I had definitely seen it, and that small smile gave me such a pleasant and restful night that I was able to pull the perfect act for the doctor.
Now after so long I get to leave, and we get to move to the next stage.
Present Day
"Do you want me to take that?" You ask with concern, you must have notice me shifting the bag again.
"No, this is the least I can do for you but thank you for asking," I'm genuinely happy that you asked but this is for you, no this is for us, and I'll do my part just as you do.
"Finally!" Your voice catches my attention and I notice why you're excited, the light's off. Perfect now we can get to work. The anticipation of what lies ahead makes me giddy and looking over I can see that you too are holding back a laugh.
We are like silent shadows as we approach the brown six-story building, and I am doubly thankful about the place that he chose to live. I knew that we couldn't be heard over the thunder but there was always the risk I being seen; yet he solved that problem for us perfectly.
His own paranoia is most likely what led him here, to this isolated lot where there was only one other occupied complex. He probably chose to run here to be where nobody would know him and his past, but now it will serve our purposes, because we know who he is and what he did. And now all of our planning for his payment would occur.
Though we didn't graduate, we still had our schooling to fall back on didn't we, it's amazing what you could learn in five years. He didn't graduate either, but he was still able to hurt us with his knowledge. 'That's why it's only fair that we use our knowledge on him, right?'
I wanted to get him then when I had gotten out, but could I? No, first the courts isolated him from us and then he ran it's almost like he knew we were going to be looking for him isn't it?
Yes, he ran like a coward, took off the second he could, I bet he thought that he was safe now, after all this time especially when they told him that he'd paid for his crime. But he didn't pay us and we wanted our dues and no amount of running away would save him now.
We crept up stairs knowing that the elevators were going to be too out in the open, we didn't need anyone bugging us now after all we went through to get here.
I'm almost trembling in my excitement as we finally arrive on the top floor, glancing at you I can see that the dark smile is spread on your face again. Standing on the sixth-floor I remember what finally led us to him.
One Month Ago
It's been a year now since I got out and despite all of our searching we still haven't found him. I'm starting to feel like maybe we won't, but I refuse to give up completely because I promised you.
"Perhaps we should get extra help," your soft voice breaks the silence of our apartment. Anyone else might have jumped in sudden fright, as your approach was as quiet as ever. But I'm used to it; after all you've never left my side since we left that place.
"Where would we find this extra help?"
"I was thinking Lavi."
All I could do was sit there in a stunned silence; it was true that Lavi could probably help. He did have a wide assortment of gifts after all, but we hadn't spoken to him for quite a while now. Not since I yelled at him, would he really help us?
"I'm sure he's not angry, he knew that you were just stressed. It's not like him to hold a grudge. Besides he's always been looking out for you so he'll probably help without hesitation if you asked him."
'And therein lies the problem,' I think as I gaze at you. Not me asking Lavi for help, because I also know that he'll do it; but rather the fact that he refused to acknowledge you. You've been through so much more than me, yet one of our once closest friends has abandoned you.
But as usual you're right; if we want to make any progress then we need someone else to aid us. Ever since that bastard got out his trail went cold. Yes, if we want to find him we need help, we need Lavi's expertise. So I can only nod in agreement. "I'll call him."
*Hey, it's been a long time!* Lavi's voice sounded loudly over the line; at least he doesn't sound like he's holding a grudge.
"Yeah, it has been," my voice is a little stilted, okay so maybe I'm the one still a bit annoyed from last time.
*…So what do you need?* he must've recognized my irritation because his voice immediately lost its playfulness.
"A favor, Lavi, I need a favor," my voice lost some of its strain.
*Sure, anything I can help you with* his voice growing in sincere earnest, eager to help in any way he could.
"I need to find…someone," god how pathetic am I, you could clearly hear the hesitation in my voice.
*Okay, who?* It's a simple question that I had absolutely no intention of answering.
"Just somebody, I'd really rather not tell you Lavi," I'm getting anxious now and my voice is beginning to reflect it.
*If you won't tell me then how am I supposed to help?* Great now he's getting worried again.
"I need you to tell me how to find someone who doesn't want to be found," my voice is now clipped, 'I mean honestly it's a simple request why does he keep prying!'
"It's only because he cares." Your quiet, gentle voice answered my unspoken question, too low to be heard over the phone.
*…what are you trying to do, Lena?* Yeah, I know he cares but he's starting to grate on my nerves now.
"It's not your concern Lavi, are you going to help me or not," I snap irritably, letting him know that he can help me or not but he needs to stop prying. Thankfully, he seems to get my point.
*…yeah, I'll help, in any way I can.* I feel a little bad because he sounds sad and somehow resigned.
"Thank you," I can only reply in genuine gratitude.
"Wow, you can say whatever you want about his attitude but you have to admit that Lavi definitely knows his stuff."
I can only chuckle at your awe, but truthfully I have to agree. He was pretty impressive. We had been searching for so long and yet just a week after we had asked Lavi how to find someone viola we find him!
He's in a new city all right and now that we have his address we can finally carry out our plans. I can only laugh and it must be contagious because I can hear yours as well. Gazing at your face I can see that it is there again, that small almost smile of yours is back to your face. I'm so happy.
Present Day
You look at me questioningly as we approach the third door on the left and I nod in confirmation, this is definitely the door. And here another skill of Lavi's comes in handy, though I doubt he ever though that I would be the one to use this particular skill when he taught it to us about a month after school started all those years ago.
I shift the dark bag from my shoulder to the floor, the contents making a muffled noise, as I pull out the bumper key I had gotten off the internet. And in a matter of seconds, with hardly a sound the door is open and we stand still, straining our ears for any sounds.
Silence is what we expect and with the exception of the thunderous rain that is precisely what we find. Nodding to you I pick the bag back up and we advance into the apartment, carefully relocking the door.
At first it's too dark inside to see as the storm is blocking out any beams that the moon could produce. So we can only wait for our eyes to adjust completely to the darkness inside, and I can't help but to question if the darkness is from the night or just from his presence.
Then the vague shapes surrounding us begin to take form and I now get my first glimpse of his apartment, it certainly looks like he's gotten comfortable in his new life.
We stand in the spotless kitchen and it's all I can do not to curl my nose in disgust, the disinfectant used to clean it is a stench that seeps into my skin reminding me of the hospital, but it still isn't enough to mask the other scent. The smell that truly gets to me, it's the smell of him the whole place reeks of it.
It's not surprising I guess it is his home after all, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't stand it. Looking at your face in concern I can tell that not only do you feel the same way, you're feeling something worse. You're feeling a memory, a nightmare of long ago.
I touch your pale face and your glazed eyes begin the focus on me again. After you nod to me, we set out to find where he's hiding, the sooner we find him the sooner we can finish and get away from this disgusting place and his hideous presence.
A living room sits off the kitchen and there to the left is a hallway with two open doors. One must be the bathroom and the other must be what we're looking for. I creep ahead with you following so closely on my heels that I can feel your warm breathe and it soothes me.
After coming to the first door and discover that yes it is a bathroom, so that must mean that the other door must be…'Aha, bingo.'
I can spot this as the correct door from my position, and signaling for you to go to the dark doorway, I open and reach into the bag and pull out a few objects. The first is small, firm, and round with small but strong leather straps. The next items are identical metal handcuffs.
With my prizes in one hand, and the bag in the other, I catch up to you and together we enter the room to find him lying there. Covers completely pushed to the end of the bed to reveal that he apparently sleeps in black boxers, I would've thought that with his arrogance he'd sleep in the nude. 'Oh well, that's just another thing that's in our favor.'
Look at how he sleeps totally without a care in the world, like he was some innocent being. His face is a smooth and unlined mask, that trademark scowl nowhere to be seen.
I take a quick look at the rest of the room and notice the two side table, one on each side of the bed, and the matching lamps on them, the walk-in closet is wide open showing off his wardrobe and then I notice his breathing has increased slightly so I turn to observe him closer.
His dark hair is still the same length. You think they would have made him cut it in prison. But nothing about the "justice system" makes sense to me anymore. Not after the slap on the wrist that they gave him.
That skin is still the same shade and he's obviously not missing any meals. He looks just that same and that's just not fair, he destroyed so much, why does he look the same? Why can't he look the way that he acts?
Seeing him like that infuriates me so much that I almost forget our plan and kill him. But I hear you whimper, and I know that I must be strong enough to resist my desires; because you deserve your revenge. And his death would deny you that, so instead I glare at him and begin because right now I don't know if you'll be able to move effectively.
That thought more than anything galvanizes me to take action and because keeping him still is important I need to secure him now; if he escapes all those years and plans, all that suffering would be for nothing. 'And I, we, can't have that, now can we?'
He must have sensed my glare because he stiffens slightly and shifts but its okay because he doesn't wake-up. So, after placing the gag on the table, I stalk to his side and ever so softly and gently place one of the handcuffs around his wrist closing but not tightening it so as not to wake him prematurely.
It's more dangerous now as I glide silently to his other side and repeat the process. When it too is clicked securely I take full notice of his headboard and can only give a vicious grin, it's like he knew that we would need something to secure him to. I almost want to thank him for that, but perhaps later, huh.
I can't believe his complacency, even after tighten the cuffs and hooking them to his own headboard he still sleeps peacefully! 'But don't worry we'll change that soon enough,' I promise him as I reach back into the bag and pull out the yellow camping rope, I really wanted harsh twine that way he would suffer more from it. But as always you're the voice of reason and point out that it was too weak.
I'll have to settle on a different way to make him hurt, 'but don't worry I will succeed,' I promised him as I secured the rope to his left ankle first then to the bedpost. Once I've secured the rope to the other bedpost I hook the remainder of the rope to his right foot tugging harshly to tighten it and finally disturbing his sleep.
He rouses so slowly, just another thing to make me sick, trying to take in the scene before him in the dark room and I flick on the light because I want, no I need, him to see who has him. He squints his eyes against the harsh light and tries to see us through the slits and I have to laugh because that scowl is back.
And once he finally focuses on us all we can do is smile because we can tell he recognizes us. And I have to admit it's really quite amusing watching him try to thrash against his restraints. But we're secure in the knowledge that no matter how hard he struggles he'll never leave until we want him to.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He growls at us as his dark hair fans across the pillow that he reclines on.
"We're here to make you pay, Kanda." I reply without preamble.
"Pay? For what, I've already paid," he sneered arrogantly.
"Not to us," my voice now devoid of any pleasantries.
"Us?" That stoic mask is back, but it can't quite mask the uneasiness creeping to his face. "Why should I owe you anything?"
That infuriates me again and I punch him as hard as I can, I have to admit that watching his head snap back was amusing as hell.
"What the fuck was that for!" he exclaimed in fury.
"We told you we're going to make you pay, we may not be able to do the same disgusting things that you did but we can still make you pay," this time as I say this I bend to the bag I had left at the foot of the bed and this time I pull out a pair of scissors. "There not as bulky as the ones you used but they should work quite well, right."
We both laugh now because Kanda's expression is priceless, that arrogance and that stoic mask are gone completely now; in fact I doubt that they'll ever return, not if we do our job correctly. But to see Kanda's face full of fear now that is what makes all the waiting worthwhile.
Glancing at to my side I ask you if it's okay that I start now, and you nod trusting me to get our revenge. Kanda's face shows a little confusion at that but that's not as fun as fear so I stride to his head and begin to cut his hair. Honesty with the screams he let loose you'd have thought I was sawing through his neck or something.
But you were right once again, that was a great place to start. He was always so proud of his hair. And that little bit of psychological damage was only the beginning.
"Use the gag," you stated before I can do more and I almost disagreed because I wanted to hear his suffering, but as much fun as his screams are there's still a chance that someone will hear him, despite the storm crashing in full fury outside.
So following your instincts again, I reach down for the gag that had fallen during his impromptu haircut. I got another jolt of amusement as his eyes widened at the sight of it, but I know better than to let my amusement distract me from my task.
And as he opens his mouth to scream I easily pushed it in and quickly secured it tightly to his head.
"Now we can begin." I assure him.
Kanda is now tugging at his restraints hard enough to draw blood, but it's not enough for us we need more. Retrieving the scissors again I can hear you make another small whimper and I know that the memories are trying to resurface.
Turning to you I ask, "Are you okay? Do you want to leave while I continue?"
And strong as always you shake your head, "No, I need this. It has to end."
Kanda stares with ever widening eyes as I nod to you place the scissors on one of his bedside tables and open the bag to retrieve the flat razor we bought the other day. I'm not sure if he's looking at me, the razor or you. But I decide that it really doesn't matter. Though I am a little curious as to what he's trying to say under the gag but there's no way in hell I'm going to take it off.
I start at the currently unblemished skin of his right ankle and with the lightest of touches, I caress it with the tip of the razor and we watch in fascination as the skin parts and crimson tears begin to flow down to color the previously pure white sheets.
He's making more noises now and I really wish that I could enjoy his screams to their fullest as the gag muffles them too much. But I'll have to settle for the muffled grunts and groans and that delicious look in his eyes.
Yes, that look of his terror is our true bliss but I think we need more of it. And we have all night to bring it back time and time again.
"Hmm…I think that your left ankle feels lonely. Should we amend that?" I ask him absently and I caress it with the sharp blade. 'But I bet I know a place that will really hurt!' I make use of that thought to stroke the flat of his foot. And I'm right the exquisite noise he makes almost makes me high as he tries and fails to get his foot away for me.
Three perfect little cuts on each foot, one for each year that we waited to find him. But even that's not enough.
"He needs to suffer more," you tell me so I reach into the bag again, this time pulling out a longer but dull blade.
It's almost comical watching his face and eyes now as I drag the blade down his thigh. This time the cut isn't as beautiful, there's no symmetry just an ugly tearing wound, but I have to admire your brilliance.
Because once again you're right this will leave much better marks, one's that will last for the rest of his life. The other marks, while so pretty to watch, were far too delicate and small; these large and ugly marks will be seen forever.
And Kanda's muffled screams are much purer with this blade. The emotions are simply gorgeous to see as they parade in his dark eyes.
So I proceed with slashing up his body pulling the blade firmly but not too deeply because we don't want him bleeding out on us. No, I don't want to go too quickly just a nice exquisite slow dance to bring out the screams that will cleanse us. I want to bathe him red and turn his outside into the form that his inside always was.
"It's time," you announce while I'm trying to decide where else hasn't been touched.
Glancing toward the window I can see that your right again as the dawn is beginning to creep under the curtain. 'Huh, I never would have guessed that the time would go so quickly.'
"I guess it can't be helped we'll have to stop," but it's too bad that you're not even making much noise anymore "only a few hours and your done, huh?"
"I bet our last act will have you screaming again, Kanda." And I can only grin at the beautiful sight of Kanda's broken form before me.
I look to you and you nod, 'it's finally time to collect!' Finally I get to take off the gag I know that this next act will make you scream and without the storm someone will probably hear, but I imagine Kanda has questions and besides we should be done and gone before anyone can do anything.
After removing the gag, I retrieve the long neglected scissors and quickly cut off the flimsy now stained boxers to expose you. Flinging them as far from us as possible because blood and tears weren't the only thing Kanda had released in his fear. 'What a truly repulsive creature he is.'
"What are you doing now?" Kanda's voice is a hoarse from all the tears and suppressed screams and it comes out as a harsh whisper, but we can still hear that wonderful fear quite clearly.
"Collecting the finally payment."
"What do you mean?" There's still no strength in that once arrogant voice and all I can do is grin at that.
"It's simple we're going to insure that you can never hurt anyone ever again,"
He has a dumbfounded look on his face now and when he speaks next his voice is so low I have a hard time hearing him, "we?"
"Well, him mostly," and I point to you standing at the head of the bed near him. "But I think I deserve to make you pay as well, after all you hurt me too."
A quick glance to the side and a new look passes through Kanda's eyes, "How?"
All we can do is giggle. I reach for the razor again because these next cuts need to be quick and the other blade is simply too dull and slow for this. Grabbing roughly I proceed with the castration while Kanda graces us with his screams again.
The dawn is breaking through in full force as we dash back to the alley near the park where we were waiting the night before. That would be the perfect place to throw the bag, because since we'd changed our clothes in Kanda's apartment there's no need to keep it.
'I guess it would have been easier to have taken a car but neither of us has a license and we don't need to be picked up for something as silly as that,' I think as we head to the park and from there we have a new choice to make.
Though looking about I have to admit I'm actually a bit surprised that there are so many other people at the park at this time.
"They must be obsessed with fitness to be out this early without a purpose." I say to you, and you give me a true laugh, with a relaxed air that you didn't have even yesterday. I love that sound it's so free and happy, and it's been so long since I got to hear it. 'That sound makes everything worthwhile.'
"Perhaps they just wanted to enjoy the sunrise."
And I look up in surprise because your right again, the sunrise is beautiful. The colors that had once been absorbed by that gray winter have become almost as vibrant as you have.
"Yes, that must be it," I nod as I agree with you.
A couple of people are starting to glance at us as we pass. They make me a little nervous but they couldn't know anything yet, right? I mean the ambulance hadn't even got there yet.
"I wonder if the rain is what makes this sunrise seem so bright." I ask you to distract myself.
"It could be rain does have a way of cleansing everything it touches."
"Hmm…cleansing I like that."
Your gentle smile graces me, as I look around again and notice more stares.
"Do I have something on me?"
And as your laugh rings out again it dawns on me that it's you they're staring at. You beautiful smile has fully engulfed you face and your silver eyes outshine the dawn. 'Yes, they've just never seen anyone so beautiful, so they can't help but stare.'
Now that I have the answer I can go back to ignoring them and devote my full attention to you again.
"So where will we go now, Allen?," I ask without much care because I know that as long as we're together no matter where we go we'll now be able to sleep peacefully.
"Anywhere's fine with me. As long as we're together everything will be fine." Your voice, once again light and innocent, echoes my sentiments as you fairly skip besides me.
It's wonderful to see your face so carefree, to have the life back in your eyes and to see that bright smile again.
'I guess Kanda's punishment has finally freed us both at last.'
"Free at last, both of us," your voice chimes out, echoing my sentiments as we head to our new future.
And as the newly risen sun gleams onto your pure hair it seems to gives you a halo and I finally believe that winter is over and spring with all its lively colors has finally arrived.
A/N: As stated at the beginning of the story this was my first attempt at a first-person POV, how was it?
Yes, Lenalee is insane and the person that she was talking to the whole time was "Allen". And yes, she's more than a little obsessed with him. She's always had a crush on him but never acted on it, then he was gone and she couldn't.
The timeline may seem muddled and I apologize for that, but basically this story starts three years after the events in "His Consequences" with the entirety of the first flashback set to soon after Lenalee was released from the hospital and placed into the mental institute. Its purpose is to show her progression from silent insanity to full blown delusion.
Yes, it's rushed, though there is a clear day/night schedule to it, I didn't want to write about every single day.
I hope that this wasn't too confusing and if it was I apologize. That's it for this one please read the next chapter it is a sequel of Consequences and Curiosity chapter 2 "Behind her curiosity".
Did you like it or hate it? Feel free to tell me, but I'm still not psychic so please give me a reason.