Author's Note: My sixth fic for Lenny Week 2014. The prompt is Domesticity. Gotta love Lenny bein' all domestic!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of its characters. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.
"Seriously, Penny, all weekend? I was planning to go to the paint ball park with the guys on Sunday. Do you really think this is going to take both days?"
Penny looked up from the computer screen she'd been working at for the past two hours. It was Friday night and they'd been excused from Vintage Game Night because Sheldon had once again been outsmarted by Amy in the form of a clause in the Relationship Agreement that required that he join his girlfriend, upon request, in entertaining any relatives visiting from out of town. Amy's cousin – not, she was careful to emphasize, Cousin Irene who died in a tragic carbon monoxide accident on the day before her wedding, but a wholly different cousin – was traveling from West Virginia and would be in Southern California for just one day before continuing on to a new job in Alaska.
Leonard suspected that Sheldon allowed Amy to win this latest round in their battle of the sexes simply because he'd seen a photo of this particular relative. Amy would be spending the evening having dinner with her third cousin, Rick, who bore a striking physical resemblance to Penny's ex-husband Zack, although he was reputed to be quite intelligent.
"Leonard," Penny began patiently, in a voice that reminded him disconcertingly of his mother, "We've got ten rooms to work our way through. Ten rooms! Taken together, everything we own will barely fill two, because I'm burning every stick of so-called furniture in this living room."
She turned her attention back to the computer screen and continued to itemize her plans for the new house they just purchased. "I'm willing to put your bedroom furniture and mine in two of the smaller bedrooms, but we really need something new for our room. That place is huge! And then there's the dining room, and the living room and the rec room; I'm going to let you take care of the game room. But I want to get something cute and cozy for the breakfast room and…"
"All right! All right! I give!" Leonard pulled up one of the stools and sat next to where Penny was making her plans on the tiny kitchen island. "So why can't we just shop online, then go to Ikea tomorrow, get everything picked out and arrange for the delivery? If we work hard tonight, we can probably take care of the whole business in two hours, tops. We can even spring to get everything assembled. I think we can afford it. That way you don't have to worry about ruining your nails with all that screwing."
The look on Penny's face as she turned to stare at her fiancé made it clear to Leonard that he'd said something incredibly stupid. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew he was about to find out.
"You cannot possible expect me to go to Ikea to furnish a home in one of Pasadena's most prestigious neighborhoods, Leonard." She turned back to her computer and began sending pages to the printer.
"Okay," he said, trying to sound placating, "So just where do we go to buy furniture for our new showcase?"
"Well," she began, launching into what Leonard realized would be another lengthy spiel, "I think we can find nice things for the breakfast room and the bedrooms at either The Pasadena Furniture Company, or at one of these two other places." She pointed to marks on the map that were situated along the Pasadena shopping mecca that was Colorado Boulevard.
"Well that shouldn't take too long." Leonard leaned in to get a closer look at the map. "Those are all close by. I don't understand why this is going to take two days."
"Leonard, like you said, I want our new home to be a showcase. You inherited all that money from your Uncle Floyd and now we're getting this really nice house and I just want the inside to be as nice as the outside. We've got plenty left from your inheritance. We can afford to splurge a little – especially on the rooms where we'll be entertaining."
"Penny." Leonard sat back and placed a hand gently on the blond woman's arm. "Just exactly what did you have in mind to do with our money?"
It was Penny's turn adopt a wheedling tone. "I thought we could save the simple stuff for Sunday and drive into L.A. tomorrow. We can go to Roche Bobois and some of the designer studios in West Hollywood. I'd like to find something really unique and special for the Living and Dining Rooms."
Leonard chuckled. "You're like a kid in a candy store, aren't you?" He smiled, pleased that the legacy from his departed uncle was helping him indulge Penny's favorite pastime.
Penny laughed. "Oh, Leonard! You really don't know me at all, do you?" She leaned over and placed an indulgent kiss on his cheek. "Shopping for furniture is fun. But if you really want to make me happy, let me loose with that new credit card of yours in just one shoe store on Rodeo Drive!"
"Oh God, no!" Penny exclaimed as they wandered through yet another furniture boutique. "Who decided that chic and unique also had to be ugly and blah? I'm so sick of seeing one mono-color upholstered monstrosity after another! And if one more person says the word 'Mission' I may hurl."
Leonard sighed and gently put an arm around his girlfriend. "Maybe we should take a break – get some lunch, hmmm? There's a ton of really nice places around here if you want to go someplace special. Or we could just go to Pinks for a hot dog. Whaddya say?" Leonard grinned as he watched Penny's face brighten. One of the things he loved about this woman was that she appreciated down-to-earth things. She was happier getting a good burger or dim sum than sampling haute cuisine.
"A chili dog and some onion rings sounds like heaven right now, I'm starving!" Penny was clapping her hands and jumping up and down, to the extreme annoyance of the sales people.
Leonard and Penny left the store and walked back to where Leonard's car was parked. It looked completely out of place next to the collection of Mercedes and Lincolns and the occasional Jaguar that lined the street.
On the drive to the famous hot dog stand, the two discussed the furnishings they'd seen at the shops and showrooms in the exclusive shopping district near Beverly Hills.
"I don't understand it, Leonard. When it comes to clothes and shoes, I love high fashion." She shrugged. "I've never been able to afford it, but I loved dreaming that I could fill my closets with Armani and Ferragamo and Versace and…" She grabbed Leonard's arm, causing him to suddenly swerve. "Oh God Leonard, what I wouldn't give for just one pair of Manolo Blahniks!"
She settled back in her seat. "Just about everything we saw today looked so uncomfortable. Like you'd have to be double-jointed to sit on it." She crossed her arms. "That's it, Leonard. After lunch we're going to find a normal furniture store with normal furniture that's meant for a living room that people actually live in."
"Are you sure, sweetheart? Last night you had your heart set on having a designer showcase. Are you gonna be happy with Ethan Allen?"
Penny chuckled. "Well, I don't know about Ethan Allen. My mother has Ethan Allen. But something a little more… normal. Something our friends will feel comfortable and relaxed in." She paused. "I want a living room that our kids aren't banned from going into."
Leonard stopped the car at a red light. He turned to face his fiancé. "Kids, huh? You're thinking about kids?"
"Well, yeah, Leonard." Penny turned to face him and her eyes blazed into his. "We're going to have really beautiful children. And they're going to be smart, too." She settled back into her seat. "In fact, we can take the money we save by not buying that ridiculous furniture and put it into a college fund. We're gonna need it!"
6-June-2014