Warning: A new Fanfic is approaching. For best results, recycle your old jokes from your old fanfiction.
Alex Rolfe (Sounds like: Masako X): Alright, who put that there?
Sam Finn (Sounds like: hbi2k): Dude, seriously. That was all you.
Alex: Oh. Well, it's not like it matters anyway. I mean, I did usually put that in some of my old stuff.
Melfina: Alright, you two. The show starts in five minutes, and we need to wake Yukina up for the show to even begin.
Sam: Well, I can understand the fact that she's the younger sister of a spirit detective. But sleeping for a whole sixteen hours?
Alex: She was pretty tired when she got here, Sam. That kind of travel takes a toll on stamina.
Sam: That's bogus, man, and you know it.
Melfina: Well, I was there with Alex when she arrived, and she had practically no energy left. Which is why she collapsed on the floor.
Sam: Well, why wasn't I there for that?
Alex: You had a Street Fighter IV tournament to go to, remember?
Sam: aw yeah... --
Melfina: Back to the subject at hand before Sam initiates a flashback.
Alex: Right. I've got someone to do the disclaimers. Guest star Hiei!
Guest Star Hiei: Why'd you call me here, human?
Alex: Well, ever since YYH ended, you've been out of a job. Besides, your sister's here, and you're in our pilot episode.
Hiei: Hmph. Fine, so long as I am part of the show's crew.
Sam: Sure thing. Can you do the disclaimers for us, Hiei?
Hiei: I shall.
Listen up, pathetic readers: These two humans, of whom are collectively known as Team Α-Ω (or if you can't read it on your side of the screen, Team AlphaOmega), do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story. They all belong to their respective companies.
Sam: Also, if you want to publish this story somewhere else, be sure to get our permission first.
Alex: So then. Melfina, how long until the show starts?
Melfina: Around two minutes, guys!
Alex: CRAP. Hiei, can you wake Yukina up for me?
Hiei: And why should I do that?
Alex: Because she's your sister, and you love her. Besides, she wants to see you again.
Hiei: I'm not going to ask how you knew that.
-One Twelve Sketch 1 OVER-
It was not a dark and stormy night, nor was it bright and sunny either. It was merely 12:30 PM in Japan, where this story does not take place. Somehow or another, two people from different worlds met one day at a park, and they decided to get together again and start up a house where people could live in. Actually, they started up a group. They just happen to live in a house (Actually, two houses). This group eventually moved to Ocean Beach, California, and grew to a size of twelve. This is their story. This is the story of...
Team AlphaOmega Presents...
One Twelve
Written by GalaxyFalcon and Yadda
Edited by Yadda and GalaxyFalcon
Produced by GalaxyFalcon
Directed by Yadda
All characters copyright their respective owners.
Story copyright Team Α-Ω 2008.
(But only by a legal technicality.)
Episode 0: The Pilot.
Starring: Yukina and Ranma Saotome
Unlisted Characters are: Hiei.
Date: Two weeks before the move to LA.
Location: Somewhere in a town in Japan.
Time: 7:30 PM
"Did you see that? Look at that thing!"
"I'll say. He's got more eyes on him than a badly injured celebrity."
Two bystanders were just casually talking about some dude who just walked past their direction casually, carrying a girl that was, like, at least twice his size. (He was pretty short, actually.) The dude in question was, in fact, a very powerful demon named Hiei. Hiei was taking the girl, who was his (perpetually sleepy) younger sister Yukina, to an unspecified house in the middle of town. Apparently, he really cared for his sister, and it was for the best that he left her in the care of someone he knew. Fortunately, this person had a really trustworthy personality. Unfortunately, this was not his friend Kurama. It was, rather, someone he met in his training in China earlier on in his life and became quite acquainted with. His name was Ranma Saotome. At least, Hiei thought that Ranma was male. Last time he saw him, he had turned into a girl.
It took Hiei five short minutes to get to where he was going, which was a house in the middle of town. He carefully laid his sister on the ground and knocked on the door. It didn't take long for the door to be open. Who else opened the door than a young cabbit around his size. "Yes?", the cabbit said in his natural squeaky voice. Hiei wasted no time in asking "I don't suppose you would know where a Ranma Saotome is?"
"Oh, him! Or her. We're actually not really sure what gender he is anymore."
"Just answer the damn question, I don't have all day."
"Well, when you put it that way, Ranma's practicing his moves in the backyard. Do you need something from him?"
"As a matter of fact, I need to talk to him."
"Alrighty then. Just go around the fence and you'll find him."
" I thank you."
"No problem."
And then the cabbit realized something. He just talked to someone he recognized. "Hey wait!" he said, but there was no response, for he and the girl were already gone.
Time: 7:36 PM
Ranma Saotome, the heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, and the man with too many fiancées. At least, he was. Ever since he left his hometowns of Jusenkyo and Nerima, he went on a journey to find worthy challengers and, in a completely in character way, get away from his multiple fiancées that his old man keeps shoving in his face. The only one he really liked was that Akane Tendo girl, but they're more of best friends than anything else. Oh, and get himself used to turning into a girl every time cold water gets dumped on him, and get something out of it too. Selfish bastard, he is.
What he's doing right now is practicing his fighting moves, punching and kicking the air, maybe doing some backflips. At the end of his routine, he bowed slightly.
"Impressive, Ranma. You've learned a lot of new moves in the last three years."
Ranma quickly turned around to see Hiei, standing there with his arms folded. "It's nice to see you too, Hiei.", Ranma said, adding "I know you didn't just drop by here to say hi, buddy. So what's up?"
"I need you to take care of my little sister. I'm going on a mission that I will probably not succeed in."
"So it's a suicide mission, then?"
"Precisely. Will you take care of my sister?"
"It's no problem, Hiei. Anything for an old friend of mine. So your sister is that girl in your arms?"
"Indeed it is. Her name is Yukina, and the last time she ended up in a place she didn't recognize, she became a slave. Not to mention, there are five demons after her. I need you to protect her from those demons, as I won't be there to do so."
"I know. It's not a problem."
"Very well then. Oh, and if you ever need to contact the Spirit world to find out my whereabouts, just use this."
Hiei handed Ranma a small object. "So, this is a communication stone, right?", he asked, to which Hiei answered, "Precisely. It'll forward you to Botan, the grim reaper. She's another of Yukina's friends, and her one confidant. Also, she's basically my employer, so if anyone can tell you my whereabouts, it's her."
"I got it."
"I'm glad you do. Now, I shall be off. Goodbye Ranma. Tell Yukina that I love her."
With that, Hiei left the premises with a great leap, and jumped off into the sunset. "I will, Hiei." Ranma said in respect of his friend from times past. With that, Ranma took the beautiful, but possibly demonic, girl into the house...
Alex: And Cut! Nice job, Hiei. You said you wanted a spot in the crew, right?
Hiei: Yes I did. I'll take script writer.
Sam: Actually, we're the writers here.
Hiei: Um... Sound, then?
Alex: We already have a sound guy, and his name is Strider Takeshi Hiryu.
Hiei: Well, then, what's open?
Alex: Well, we've got Special Effects, lighting, and cameraman.
Hiei: As much as I'd like lighting, I'll take Special Effects.
Alex: No problem. Alright, next episode's starting. Take your places, everyone!
Episode 1: ROAD TRIP!
Starring: Isaac, Klonoa, Ranma, Yukina, Gohan, Roll Rait, Leo Stenbuck, Liz Ricarro, Inuyasha, Melfina
Unlisted Characters: Botan and a NEWCOMER!
Date: The day of the move, June 7, 2009.
Location: Ocean Beach, California
Time: Noon
Six people joined soon after Yukina's entry. All of them, except for one, were crammed inside a van. The one in the driver's seat just so happened to be one of the founders of the group, Isaac. Although Isaac usually doesn't talk, he has a big heart. The others were, in order of first arrival: Klonoa (Co-founder), Ranma Saotome (first), Yukina (second), Gohan (third, and it's the adult Gohan. I swear, that kid has more versions than Trunks.) Roll Rait (fourth, tied with Leo), Leo Stenbuck (fourth, tied with Roll. And actually, Leo's mech Vic Viper followed the van in plane mode.), Liz Ricarro (fifth), Inuyasha (sixth), and Melfina (seventh). Oh dear.
Ranma and Inuyasha were discussing possible battle strategies, Klonoa was trying to READ ISAAC'S MIND, Liz was just sitting there, minding her own business, Roll was talking with Leo through her internal network, and Yukina was simply wrapped up nicely in a blanket, lying next to Melfina, who was really the only person that really cared about her besides her brother Hiei and Kazuma Kuwabara.
"I don't get it.", Inuyasha complained. "Why does the mute kid get to drive? I'm like, two, maybe three times his age.", to which Ranma responded, "Well, you're technically not part of this timeline. We're in 2009, and you come from... what era, again?"
"Don't make me go Feudal on your ass, Ranma. Besides, none of us are in the right world. Yukina's a half-breed demon, Liz is from the future, Leo's from the far future, Roll's a robot-"
Just then, Roll yelled at Inuyasha, "AND JUST WHERE DO YOU GET OFF CALLING ME A ROBOT?"
"Android, sheesh. Anyway, Klonoa is some mutant cat/rabbit hybrid thing, Isaac's some mute kid from a place I've never heard of, you're a 'Instant Transsexual, Just Add Water!' kind of deal from the 1980s, and I don't even know what the hell Melfina is."
Melfina spoke up at that time, saying "Actually, I'm another android. It's just that I'm more collected than Roll is." "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" "Quiet, Roll, you'll wake up the baby."
Indeed, Yukina was taking a nap for like the twelfth time this week. She was sound asleep, unlike Mel, who happened to be wide awake despite not getting any sleep last night. (So really, Mel should be the one sleeping, but as she stated earlier, she's an android and thus doesn't really need sleep.) Roll took notice of this, and said "That girl can sleep through anything. What kind of dream is she having anyway?" Klonoa, being the dream traveler, sighed and explained, "Look, just because Yukina sleeps around five-to-ten hours twice a day doesn't mean you guys don't have to respect her privacy. Besides, I can't just go walking in to someone's dreams whenever I want. I have to be asleep too, you know."
Suddenly, Melfina and Roll noticed something peculiar. Yukina's eyes were slowly opening. This was a sign of waking for her. So now that she's awake, you'd expect her to say "Where am I?" or "How long was I out for?" right? Well, that wasn't the case. She rubbed her eyes and groggily asked, "What happened, and where are we in relation to Ocean Beach?" Mel raised her finger to say something, but was interrupted by Ranma saying, "We've been on the move for three and a half hours, Yukina. Leo's mech grabbed the van and ferried us across the Pacific to San Diego, and that took us three hours, and we've been traveling for fifteen minutes getting to Ocean Beach, and then fifteen more minutes just trying to find the damn place. The oddly British landlady said it's on 1221 Santa Monica Ave., but we've been driving for a quarter of an hour and we still haven't found it."
"That's because we're here. And it's only been two minutes. We've been 'on the move' for three hours and two minutes. And three hours and fifteen minutes isn't three and a half hours, by the way."
Ranma's jaw drops to the floor. Apparently, Yukina has an internal timer for how long she sleeps for. "Oh. Well... um... Your mom."
"Nice retort, Ran." Then Ranma realized something. "Wait, how do you know we're there? You've been asleep for the entirety of the trip!"
"Well, we've stopped in the parkway. I would assume that's a good thing."
At that point, Isaac and Klonoa exited the van, and so did the rest of their party. Klonoa decided to let the one who woke up first open the door to their new home, and by some strange twist of fate, that was Isaac. So Isaac knocked on the door, expecting a normal British-American landlady. Yeah. With these guys (especially Ranma, Klonoa, and Roll), nothing was ever normal. So, who was the landlady? Well, she sounded British enough, but the look of her was strangely... old-style Japanese Shinto-ish priestess. Ranma knew he recognized the girl somewhere before... Wait. The light blue hair; the outfit; the cheeky British personality; the giant oar; it must be... one of Yukina's old friends, he was sure of that, but he couldn't quite remember her name...
"Botan!" Yukina exclaimed happily. Yes, the oddly british landlady that Ranma mentioned was the case manager for the Ghost Files, Botan. "Oh, Botan, I'm so glad to see you again!", Yukina said, pretty much glomping her."I missed you too, Yukina, but we have more important matters to discuss about your brother." Botan said to her accomplice. "But I digress. Welcome to Ocean Beach!"
A record scratch could be heard in the background. Wait, Ocean Beach? That's like the worst name for something since Violence Fight. But, I digress. All this time, there was a cloaked figure watching in the background. Who could this be... hmm...
Alex: ...AND CUT! That's a wrap, guys! Thanks for joining us, Botan.
Botan: No problem, Alex. Hey, I'll be a recurring character, right?
Sam: Sure. Why not?
Botan: Thank you so much! /leaves/
Hiei: I still don't get why you two invited her onto the show.
Alex: Well, she wanted to come on. Besides, Guest stars pay the bills.
Hiei: By logical standards, shouldn't guest stars (such as myself) deplete your funding?
Sam: Viewership, man! It's all about the ratings.
Alright, Yadda. You're up. Don't let me down on this one!
-GF-