Author's Note: I finished this story at 2 in the morning after starting it
at 1. Please note that I am very strange that late/early. Also, I don't
usually write romance so the stuff at the end is rather light. Very light
actually. Harry/Ginny forever. ^_^
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I would.... Okay, watch in amazement as I don't finish that sentence. Clap for me. So, basically I don't own it. Harry, Ginny, Siri, James, and the lake ain't mine. Suing gets you nowhere. Thank you.
~*~*~*~
When the Snow Came by Sputnik2006
Midnight.
The common room had been empty for hours. Not entirely surprising since most people went home for the Christmas holidays anyway. There were only 5 Gryffindors in the whole school. Two Weasleys, a Granger, and one Neville Longbottom.
And Harry Potter who had a case of insomnia that wasn't getting any better despite the sleeping potions Hermione had brewed for him. After all, they couldn't help if he didn't drink them.
He stared into the common room fireplace, watching the flames dance upon the logs. Crookshanks purred on his lap happy for any attention he could have. Harry was happy to give it to him. The cat was the only one in the school who would sit with him and not try to talk to him about things he didn't want to speak of.
Oh, everyone thought he couldn't sleep because of obvious reasons. The war, his great burden he must carry. Everyone thought that except the ones who knew him. Sirius was never coming back and it was his fault.
Sure, Dumbledore had told him he hadn't caused any of the events leading up to his godfather's death but the same old man had refused to speak to him for most of a year because he was afraid for his own skin. Sure, his friends agreed that there was no way he could have known Sirius would be killed that day.
He shouldn't dwell on things so far in the past, he knew it in his mind. But his heart was another story. Days made everything go away. He was surrounded by friends, laughter and other things to distract him from that horrible burden. At night it all went away.
When he thought during the day he couldn't understand why that would drive him to stay up so late without any company. Night spoke to him. Quietly, so quietly that he couldn't hear it over the daily bustle of living from hour to hour. It told him things in the manner of feelings. Fear, guilt, pain.... things society wasn't allowing him to express were let out for the darkness to swallow up. Night didn't care if he made a fool of himself. It never felt that he had overstepped and explained how he felt too much. Night was like true love. Unbiased and loving in a way the people he knew never could be.
He stared into the fire until it burned down to tiny flickers of flame and then nothing more than embers, glowing red as life's blood.
And then sleep took him.
~*~*~*~*~
He was falling. It seemed as though time had stopped forever just so it could watch him fall away from all the friends and the safety he had ever known. He knew She was there, watching, cackling in her mind if not in truth. He couldn't watch Her though. She was unimportant.
No, He was the one he should turn to. He was so young, the image of his father and so much like him.... At the last moment everything blurred. His black-haired godson's eyes changed, shifted. He was no longer staring at the boy he loved. It was his friend, so much like Harry but also nothing the same.
He had to face the truth then. Before the light went out he KNEW: James had taken a greater hold upon him when he died than he had suspected. Sirius could no longer tell the difference between his friend and his friend's son.
He had one last thought. Wishing it would fall to Harry's hearing he whispered, "I'm sorry. I tried so hard but I could only fail."
Shame was the last thing he felt before all feeling went away. The cloth brushed his back, then went over his face and the world he knew disappeared.
~*~*~*~*~
Harry woke with a start, muttering a brief swear at his inability to stay awake. The fire had gone out long ago. It was icy-cold in the room; that must have been what woke him in the first place. He thanked the frigid weather, surprised that he hated to dream so much.
The sun was rising. It was not the red of a full sunrise but the strange gray-blue that comes as the sun first wakes and thinks of peeping up over the horizon. Not as beautiful as he could have wished but the weather was nice enough, if chill. He could take a walk outside. The cold would keep him awake until the house elves laid out breakfast.
He staggered out of the chair, half from sleepiness and half from the weight of the ginger tom that refused to move. Gracefulness was not one of his finer points at the best of times and now was no such occasion. He tripped over an armchair with a huge crash. Getting up he kicked it in retaliation only to fall over again. Several other choice curses popped into his head after that but Harry knew when to surrender. The chair could win this time. This time.
After that stealth crept back into his tired limbs and he was able to climb the stairs to his dorm and retrieve his cloak and shoes without incident. It was late enough in the morning that he didn't need to worry about being out of bounds but early enough that most people wouldn't be up anyway. Not that anyone was really in the castle right now. Most wouldn't be back for a few days yet.
Once outside he found himself immediately drawn to the tree by the lake. So many memories were connected to it. Leaning against it (and thankful there was only a dusting of snow) he wondered if trees had memory. Did they observe all the events that happened around them and store them in brains of their own to tell saplings of their own someday? Was that why trees gathered around eachother so closely, so they could share in stories of times long passed? He was sure it was the tired part of his mind that actually found that believable but either way it did seem a nice idea.
He lay his head against its rough bark in the hope he would be refreshed by some old story it could tell. All that managed was a shiver as the cold crept in through is cold now that he wasn't moving much. Ice was good. Weren't people who froze to death said to be peaceful before they died? Maybe it would be more pleasant to let go now and never feel the pain of grief again.
Harry closed his eyes and let the freezing wind and snow take him.
~*~*~*~*~
The darkness was a great nothing and yet he knew there was something beyond the veil. He felt, no, there was no feeling here. No heat, no cold, nor light to show whether he even had a flesh-and-blood body anymore. And yet something told him he was still alive because he was concious. He could think, dwell on memories and wonder where he was.
He sensed that he was not alone.
Focusing on a point near him he tried to see what it was. Or whatever it was this sense-knowledge could be called. A fire grew in his mind. White light, a great flame of a form, like a human being but twisted to be angelic. Sirius had never been a particularly religious man and never really believed in angels visiting people in the afterlife. Even now, faced with what most people would have called a genuine spirit he had his doubts.
'What are you?' he thought to himself. But in this world there were no boundaries of flesh and brain. It heard his thoughts clear as though he had spoken them in its ear. If it had one.
'Come closer child,' it beckoned, its white light spreading to nearly touching him. 'I wish to know how you came to be here, lost one. The living do not come here often.'
Suspicion grew. 'Living have come here before? Then why are you and I the only ones present right now?'
There was a slight pause and then his mind screamed, pain like daggers stabbing flashed through his very being. He saw ir now as it really was. The white light had faded, replaced by a sickening thing, it was a cancer, a virus, a plague. Nothing he had ever known was so disgusting, so corrupt. It almost appeared to smile. 'There are things behind the veil that mortals have never faced in their worst nightmares. Devils, demons, and the most corrupted souls make their way through the bowels of the afterlife seeking misguided souls such as yourself.' Its grin grew wider- the miasma of evil grew so that it touched him and the pain only intensified. His mind was screaming. 'The living cannot last long against the attentions of the dead.'
Sirius was blinded by the pain once more as the thing leapt at him and tore at his thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~
This time he woke crying. The tears burned like acid on his freezing cheeks. Even the cold would not grant him a moment's peace from nightmares of Sirius. There was no escaping, not into dreams of happier times. They had long ago been chased away.
A snowflake landed on his cheek. And then another. Soon the sky had opened to pour all the snow it had ever contained down on him, to bury him beneath the bare branches of the ancient oak. His thoughts had been answered; he had called a blizzard and could finally finish himself off. Now if only...-
"Harry?!" A tremulous shout in the distance distracted him before he could finish his thoughts. Ginny.
"Harry? PLEASE be out here somewhere." As thought her request could make something true. But then again, it WAS true that he was out here. But what was she doing? She was closer this time, though, almost at the other side of the tree.
"I'm over here," he said. Or tried to. His mouth formed the words but his voice was gone. The cold froze his throat beyond intelligent use. All he could manage were a few pitiful shivers.
He didn't want to die like this. Not with someone there. Especially not Ginny. She was such a sweet girl and funny and.... He could almost feel his mind wandering. Another huge shiver went through his body and his head smacked against the bark with a hollow clunk.
"Harry?"
She'd heard him! Harry made a note to himself to thank the tree should the two of them live long enough for him to make it back out here again.
He saw a splotch of red against the background of grayish-white snow. She rounded the tree and plopped down beside him. "Harry! How long have you been out here? You look terrible. You're lucky I found you! I almost couldn't find anything in this snow and I was going to head back and what were you THINKING?!"
She spoke in a rush. He was having trouble paying attention long enough to understand what she said. He was pretty sure her speaking was just fast and not merely the product of his mind working so slowly.
When he didn't respond she peered at him worriedly, brushing snow away from her face. She pulled a spare cloak out from under her own, as well as a blanket. "We need to get you someplace sheltered." Frowning she looked in all directions. "There's no way I'm going to risk this storm. We'd more likely get lost and freeze than get to the castle."
A sudden smile came to her eyes, brief because of the way Harry looked but still a good sign. She stood up and pulled her wand out of her pocket. He didn't hear what she said but the blanket stretched before his eyes, growing to twice, three times as large as any blanket he'd ever seen before. With a wave it formed a small tent over Harry. She crawled in beside him.
"This will cover us until the storm blows itself out. I hope. Now." Ginny rubbed his hands. "You'll freeze if we don't have a fire or something. Fool boy, what WERE you thinking, running outside when the sky was threatening snow like this?"
With the wind and snow away from him there was no new cold seeping into his bones but the ice was still there. He was able to say only a pitiful, 'Cold.' before he started to slip back towards sleep again. Death was so near now, he could feel it. But now he wanted only to stay up long enough to get away from Ginny. She couldn't witness this. So he fought with all the power he had in his soul live.
~*~*~*~*~
Ginny could only get more frightened as the minutes passed, watching as Harry nodded off and brought his head back up only to let it fall again. There must be SOME way she could make him warm. There had to be some spell, something the teachers had taught her in 4 and a half years must be applicable here.
Wait, hadn't Hermione taught her something? 'Think Ginny think!' She nearly smacked herself over the head. 'Genius. You're sitting by a tree with a wand. Sticks and fire make warmth. Get to it!' She hurried to gather as many small twigs as she could find within the limits of the blanket-tent. The pile was small but sufficient enough for now. "Incendio!"
Well, it wasn't a roaring fire but it should help. Already the pseudotent was feeling a few degrees warmer. It was still freezing in there though. He'd never stay warm with that tiny blaze.
There was only one way she could think of to make him warmer at the moment. She grimaced. A couple years ago something like this would have been her greatest fantasy. It wasn't that her feelings toward him had changed. She'd just given up on him noticing her ages ago. 'Now is no time to get shy, Ginny,' she told herself. Gathering the extra cloak she threw it over him and crawled in beside him.
Old feelings stirred inside but she squashed them down. Now was no time to flirt. For heaven's sake the boy had walked out into a blizzard and was halfway to being an ice cube. Her inner self couldn't help but grin though. The cloak was too short to cover them both.
She shifted her body so that he was sitting mostly on her lap. Both of them were now scrunched up, rather uncomfortably too, but the cloak covered them now. All she could do was wait and hope.
~*~*~*~*~
The pain lasted forever. The pain lasted a split second. He could not tell. This place was beyond the reckoning of time. If only the pain would go away.
As though this thought, this desire, were a summons, something changed. The evil beast pulled back, fear rolling off it. It opened its mouth, to attack or defend itself he wasn't sure but it never made a sound. One moment it was simply there and then it was gone.
Another white creature approached. He fought to get away but only managed a whimper. This nothingness of space rendered him incapable of movement. All the darkness of the underworld could feast on his soul and he would be unable to defend it.
This one was different. With his non-eyes he felt it staring. Its gaze fell upon him and was like bliss. All the aches and tears in his mind were gone. He could almost see clearly again.
'You should not be here Sirius. You came to us the wrong way. I fear for you.'
'How do you know my name?' The other hadn't known. What, who, was this new being?
'Padfoot, would an old friend ever forget his greatest companion?'
And then he knew. Joy coursed through what remained of his existence. He was not alone like he'd thought he was. 'Prongs?'
There was no smile, almost no acknowledgement in the light of his friend to indicate that he was happy for him. 'Indeed, not alone. That is why I'm afraid, and why you should be. There are ways from this wasteland but I can only show you the ways up. Do you understand?'
It took a moment for the thoughts to sink in. Ways up? Then, using all the signals memories and thoughts showed he understood.
There were ways out. But none that James could lead him to would ever lead him back to the life he knew. None would lead him back to his godson.
~*~*~*~*~
"It's certainly about time you woke, lazy."
Harry shook off all memory of his dream and focused bleary eyes on Ginny's face. She was a lot closer than he'd ever been before. In fact...
"Why am I on top of you?"
She giggled. Even in the dim light of the snow-covered blanket-tent she was beautiful. "Because you almost froze to death, smart one. If you hadn't been such a prat and walked out into a blizzard we wouldn't be here now would we?"
She did have a point. But even then a quiet thought crept to his attention. 'If we weren't here it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful a day as it is right now.' He turned his head and smiled at the thought.
He wasn't exactly warm but the shelter and Ginny's warm body made it so the temperature was almost comfortable. The cold had long since fled.
"I had a fire going," she went on, "but we've been in here for hours and it burned down a while ago. No more sticks. I was going to get more but...you...I didn't want to leave you here." Her voice broke. "You were so cold and I was so afraid...." She turned away from him.
He opened his mouth to apologize for scaring her but her hand flying at his face stopped all thought of it. Harry would never have thought such a slight, small girl could manage a slap like that. 'Must be a girl thing.'
She was positively crimson with anger. "IF YOU EVER, I MEAN EVER PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, HARRY JAMES POTTER, I WILL CURSE YOU UNTIL YOU ARE SO SORE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR A MONTH! AND THEN I'LL TELL EVERYONE IN SCHOOL ALL YOUR DARK SECRETS AND MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL IF YOU EVER CONSIDER SOMETHING SO STUPID YOU BRAINLESS," she slapped him again, "GUTLESS" slap. "INCONSIDERATE" slap. "UGLY" slap. "MORONIC LITTLE...LITTLE...." She trailed off, glaring and spluttering at him, at a loss for more insults to hurl his way.
If his cheek didn't hurt so much he would have found the whole situation quite funny. As it was he had to bite off a laugh at the look on her face.
"I love you."
All amusement faded from his face at the realization of what she had just said.
Her jaw dropped as she fully heard her outburst. Jumping up she ran outside. He heard sounds of rummaging. He assumed she was finding more sticks.
Was she crazy? Or did she really mean it? He knew she'd had a crush on him. But that had been so long ago....
Ginny returned. Her face was down and she looked everywhere but at him as she started readying the sticks for a fire. It was obvious that she was red from more than the cold.
Once she no longer had the fire as an excuse she returned to the cloak but sat beside him instead of...the other arrangement. Silence reigned for a moment then....
"Well?"
He blinked. "Well what?"
"You can't be this thick naturally. Aren't you going to say anything? It's not like we can sit here for the next...who knows how long... without saying a word to each other."
This time he did smile. "I suppose not." He fell silent again. This was getting more and more awkward with ever passing moment. "Well, um.... I dunno what you want me to say-" He started.
"Well I'm certainly not going to tell you. I don't know your heart anymore than I know why you ran out here. Answer the question."
Now she was getting snappish. This could get worse before it got better if he wasn't careful.
"Let me finish. I'm sorry for anything I put you through when I ran out here. I...was having trouble sleeping and ended up falling asleep out here. It was an accident." Lovely, the truth, or a version of it. Fairytale version but it was still factual. It would do. "About...the other thing...." He hesitated. How to word it without sounding like a love-struck fool in a romance novel...? "Actions speak louder than words," he finally decided on.
"What-"
Harry reached over and kissed her.
~*~*~*~*~
As first kisses went it wasn't half bad.
She'd led her brothers to believe she'd already been kissed long ago. True, Michael Corner HAD tried to kiss her a few times. He'd always lost confidence halfway to her face and ended up slobbering all over her cheek.
This was what a kiss SHOULD be.
~*~*~*~*~
He knew there was no point in hoping James could find another way. Still, he couldn't help but wish he could see his godson one last time. Really see him as Harry, not as James's Son.
'There are ways,' James whispered. 'You will be in danger here for longer than I may be able to protect you but it is possible.'
'Then whatever happens happens. I need to say my goodbyes.' Is that so selfish a thing to ask?
There was the feeling of movement. Not movement he had had in life but he'd been here long enough to know when scenery was changing. It was a strange thing; the land/space around him shifted while he remained in the exact same place. Stranger things had happened on Earth but this place just existing made those times pale in comparison.
Now he had no doubt that he could see something. It burned bright white in his mind with a fire that made James' seem like the dying flame of a candle. Everywhere he could feel, see, and practically hear the beauty of it. It hummed, it whispered. And he go closer and closer, dragged by his friend toward the center of the massive light.
Harry was sleeping. He was sleeping but not alone. The red haired boy's sister, what was her name?, was cuddled on his lap. Both had serene faces. They were peaceful, together.
That time he was able to smile. He remembered what it felt like to be in love. It was a powerful feeling for a young person.
'You never really grew up, Padfoot. You're still the same lovestruck puppy given half the chance.'
Harry stirred in his sleep. His eyes crept open and focused on him. On HIM! Could Harry actually see him?
"Sirius?"
Joy filled him. His godson could see him! He didn't want to leave this place ever again. The light welcomed him and he had a window to his godson at his disposal.
All too soon he felt himself moving backwards. He screamed at James with his mind to let him go but it didn't help. 'You've stayed to long. They will be coming soon, do you really want another encounter with the likes of that demon?'
In the end he agreed. In the end there was nothing he could do but agree. Except for one thing.
"Goodbye, Harry. Know that I'm watching, in truth or merely by thought,always.'
Always.
He followed his old friend into the light and wished a bit of the peace of the window could come along to ease the pain of goodbye.
~*~*~*~*~
"The storm's clearing up a bit. We should be able to get back up to the castle in a half hour or so. I don't know about you but I'd like to eat everything the tables will give me. A big heaping plate with all the toast, sausage, and bacon and pancakes and..."
Ginny still made him smile. No matter how tired they both were, how hungry and cold she still managed to keep a sense of humor. Or she might simply be passing the time with idle chatter. Still, it helped.
He hoped the dreams no longer came after that last one. Sirius had been there. He'd seen him, he KNEW it was Sirius. Perhaps now the torment of that arch would end. For both of them.
"How do you know it's even still breakfast time? We've been out here for hours, if not a whole day. It could well be lunch, or dinner. Or even breakfast of a whole other day."
"And still we end up at breakfast foods. Besides, we could always stalk on down to the kitchens and grab whatever we want."
"Okay, you got me there."
When the snow stopped falling they dug their way out of their cozy tent and fought through the drifts to the school. They were promptly bombarded with questions of where they had been all this time and as soon as a teacher noticed their arrival were whisked away to Madame Pomfrey.
There was no chance of escape from her wrath once they were inside the hospital wing but Ginny was right. It was breakfast time. Which she delighted in pointing out at every possible chance.
He never forgot why he had run out into that storm. Ginny never asked but in her heart she knew he had gone out intending not to return. In the end, though, neither regretted the time spent beneath the tent and the oak.
Trees do tell stories. The patient can here a bit if they sit long enough. This time the oak by the lake had a happy tale to tell to its children.
And it would go on down through the ages of trees until there were no more left in the world to speak it.
~*~*~*~*~
So? Tell me what you thought. I command thee. Or not.... I do like reviews though. Reviews=good. Please use them. Ciao.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I would.... Okay, watch in amazement as I don't finish that sentence. Clap for me. So, basically I don't own it. Harry, Ginny, Siri, James, and the lake ain't mine. Suing gets you nowhere. Thank you.
~*~*~*~
When the Snow Came by Sputnik2006
Midnight.
The common room had been empty for hours. Not entirely surprising since most people went home for the Christmas holidays anyway. There were only 5 Gryffindors in the whole school. Two Weasleys, a Granger, and one Neville Longbottom.
And Harry Potter who had a case of insomnia that wasn't getting any better despite the sleeping potions Hermione had brewed for him. After all, they couldn't help if he didn't drink them.
He stared into the common room fireplace, watching the flames dance upon the logs. Crookshanks purred on his lap happy for any attention he could have. Harry was happy to give it to him. The cat was the only one in the school who would sit with him and not try to talk to him about things he didn't want to speak of.
Oh, everyone thought he couldn't sleep because of obvious reasons. The war, his great burden he must carry. Everyone thought that except the ones who knew him. Sirius was never coming back and it was his fault.
Sure, Dumbledore had told him he hadn't caused any of the events leading up to his godfather's death but the same old man had refused to speak to him for most of a year because he was afraid for his own skin. Sure, his friends agreed that there was no way he could have known Sirius would be killed that day.
He shouldn't dwell on things so far in the past, he knew it in his mind. But his heart was another story. Days made everything go away. He was surrounded by friends, laughter and other things to distract him from that horrible burden. At night it all went away.
When he thought during the day he couldn't understand why that would drive him to stay up so late without any company. Night spoke to him. Quietly, so quietly that he couldn't hear it over the daily bustle of living from hour to hour. It told him things in the manner of feelings. Fear, guilt, pain.... things society wasn't allowing him to express were let out for the darkness to swallow up. Night didn't care if he made a fool of himself. It never felt that he had overstepped and explained how he felt too much. Night was like true love. Unbiased and loving in a way the people he knew never could be.
He stared into the fire until it burned down to tiny flickers of flame and then nothing more than embers, glowing red as life's blood.
And then sleep took him.
~*~*~*~*~
He was falling. It seemed as though time had stopped forever just so it could watch him fall away from all the friends and the safety he had ever known. He knew She was there, watching, cackling in her mind if not in truth. He couldn't watch Her though. She was unimportant.
No, He was the one he should turn to. He was so young, the image of his father and so much like him.... At the last moment everything blurred. His black-haired godson's eyes changed, shifted. He was no longer staring at the boy he loved. It was his friend, so much like Harry but also nothing the same.
He had to face the truth then. Before the light went out he KNEW: James had taken a greater hold upon him when he died than he had suspected. Sirius could no longer tell the difference between his friend and his friend's son.
He had one last thought. Wishing it would fall to Harry's hearing he whispered, "I'm sorry. I tried so hard but I could only fail."
Shame was the last thing he felt before all feeling went away. The cloth brushed his back, then went over his face and the world he knew disappeared.
~*~*~*~*~
Harry woke with a start, muttering a brief swear at his inability to stay awake. The fire had gone out long ago. It was icy-cold in the room; that must have been what woke him in the first place. He thanked the frigid weather, surprised that he hated to dream so much.
The sun was rising. It was not the red of a full sunrise but the strange gray-blue that comes as the sun first wakes and thinks of peeping up over the horizon. Not as beautiful as he could have wished but the weather was nice enough, if chill. He could take a walk outside. The cold would keep him awake until the house elves laid out breakfast.
He staggered out of the chair, half from sleepiness and half from the weight of the ginger tom that refused to move. Gracefulness was not one of his finer points at the best of times and now was no such occasion. He tripped over an armchair with a huge crash. Getting up he kicked it in retaliation only to fall over again. Several other choice curses popped into his head after that but Harry knew when to surrender. The chair could win this time. This time.
After that stealth crept back into his tired limbs and he was able to climb the stairs to his dorm and retrieve his cloak and shoes without incident. It was late enough in the morning that he didn't need to worry about being out of bounds but early enough that most people wouldn't be up anyway. Not that anyone was really in the castle right now. Most wouldn't be back for a few days yet.
Once outside he found himself immediately drawn to the tree by the lake. So many memories were connected to it. Leaning against it (and thankful there was only a dusting of snow) he wondered if trees had memory. Did they observe all the events that happened around them and store them in brains of their own to tell saplings of their own someday? Was that why trees gathered around eachother so closely, so they could share in stories of times long passed? He was sure it was the tired part of his mind that actually found that believable but either way it did seem a nice idea.
He lay his head against its rough bark in the hope he would be refreshed by some old story it could tell. All that managed was a shiver as the cold crept in through is cold now that he wasn't moving much. Ice was good. Weren't people who froze to death said to be peaceful before they died? Maybe it would be more pleasant to let go now and never feel the pain of grief again.
Harry closed his eyes and let the freezing wind and snow take him.
~*~*~*~*~
The darkness was a great nothing and yet he knew there was something beyond the veil. He felt, no, there was no feeling here. No heat, no cold, nor light to show whether he even had a flesh-and-blood body anymore. And yet something told him he was still alive because he was concious. He could think, dwell on memories and wonder where he was.
He sensed that he was not alone.
Focusing on a point near him he tried to see what it was. Or whatever it was this sense-knowledge could be called. A fire grew in his mind. White light, a great flame of a form, like a human being but twisted to be angelic. Sirius had never been a particularly religious man and never really believed in angels visiting people in the afterlife. Even now, faced with what most people would have called a genuine spirit he had his doubts.
'What are you?' he thought to himself. But in this world there were no boundaries of flesh and brain. It heard his thoughts clear as though he had spoken them in its ear. If it had one.
'Come closer child,' it beckoned, its white light spreading to nearly touching him. 'I wish to know how you came to be here, lost one. The living do not come here often.'
Suspicion grew. 'Living have come here before? Then why are you and I the only ones present right now?'
There was a slight pause and then his mind screamed, pain like daggers stabbing flashed through his very being. He saw ir now as it really was. The white light had faded, replaced by a sickening thing, it was a cancer, a virus, a plague. Nothing he had ever known was so disgusting, so corrupt. It almost appeared to smile. 'There are things behind the veil that mortals have never faced in their worst nightmares. Devils, demons, and the most corrupted souls make their way through the bowels of the afterlife seeking misguided souls such as yourself.' Its grin grew wider- the miasma of evil grew so that it touched him and the pain only intensified. His mind was screaming. 'The living cannot last long against the attentions of the dead.'
Sirius was blinded by the pain once more as the thing leapt at him and tore at his thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~
This time he woke crying. The tears burned like acid on his freezing cheeks. Even the cold would not grant him a moment's peace from nightmares of Sirius. There was no escaping, not into dreams of happier times. They had long ago been chased away.
A snowflake landed on his cheek. And then another. Soon the sky had opened to pour all the snow it had ever contained down on him, to bury him beneath the bare branches of the ancient oak. His thoughts had been answered; he had called a blizzard and could finally finish himself off. Now if only...-
"Harry?!" A tremulous shout in the distance distracted him before he could finish his thoughts. Ginny.
"Harry? PLEASE be out here somewhere." As thought her request could make something true. But then again, it WAS true that he was out here. But what was she doing? She was closer this time, though, almost at the other side of the tree.
"I'm over here," he said. Or tried to. His mouth formed the words but his voice was gone. The cold froze his throat beyond intelligent use. All he could manage were a few pitiful shivers.
He didn't want to die like this. Not with someone there. Especially not Ginny. She was such a sweet girl and funny and.... He could almost feel his mind wandering. Another huge shiver went through his body and his head smacked against the bark with a hollow clunk.
"Harry?"
She'd heard him! Harry made a note to himself to thank the tree should the two of them live long enough for him to make it back out here again.
He saw a splotch of red against the background of grayish-white snow. She rounded the tree and plopped down beside him. "Harry! How long have you been out here? You look terrible. You're lucky I found you! I almost couldn't find anything in this snow and I was going to head back and what were you THINKING?!"
She spoke in a rush. He was having trouble paying attention long enough to understand what she said. He was pretty sure her speaking was just fast and not merely the product of his mind working so slowly.
When he didn't respond she peered at him worriedly, brushing snow away from her face. She pulled a spare cloak out from under her own, as well as a blanket. "We need to get you someplace sheltered." Frowning she looked in all directions. "There's no way I'm going to risk this storm. We'd more likely get lost and freeze than get to the castle."
A sudden smile came to her eyes, brief because of the way Harry looked but still a good sign. She stood up and pulled her wand out of her pocket. He didn't hear what she said but the blanket stretched before his eyes, growing to twice, three times as large as any blanket he'd ever seen before. With a wave it formed a small tent over Harry. She crawled in beside him.
"This will cover us until the storm blows itself out. I hope. Now." Ginny rubbed his hands. "You'll freeze if we don't have a fire or something. Fool boy, what WERE you thinking, running outside when the sky was threatening snow like this?"
With the wind and snow away from him there was no new cold seeping into his bones but the ice was still there. He was able to say only a pitiful, 'Cold.' before he started to slip back towards sleep again. Death was so near now, he could feel it. But now he wanted only to stay up long enough to get away from Ginny. She couldn't witness this. So he fought with all the power he had in his soul live.
~*~*~*~*~
Ginny could only get more frightened as the minutes passed, watching as Harry nodded off and brought his head back up only to let it fall again. There must be SOME way she could make him warm. There had to be some spell, something the teachers had taught her in 4 and a half years must be applicable here.
Wait, hadn't Hermione taught her something? 'Think Ginny think!' She nearly smacked herself over the head. 'Genius. You're sitting by a tree with a wand. Sticks and fire make warmth. Get to it!' She hurried to gather as many small twigs as she could find within the limits of the blanket-tent. The pile was small but sufficient enough for now. "Incendio!"
Well, it wasn't a roaring fire but it should help. Already the pseudotent was feeling a few degrees warmer. It was still freezing in there though. He'd never stay warm with that tiny blaze.
There was only one way she could think of to make him warmer at the moment. She grimaced. A couple years ago something like this would have been her greatest fantasy. It wasn't that her feelings toward him had changed. She'd just given up on him noticing her ages ago. 'Now is no time to get shy, Ginny,' she told herself. Gathering the extra cloak she threw it over him and crawled in beside him.
Old feelings stirred inside but she squashed them down. Now was no time to flirt. For heaven's sake the boy had walked out into a blizzard and was halfway to being an ice cube. Her inner self couldn't help but grin though. The cloak was too short to cover them both.
She shifted her body so that he was sitting mostly on her lap. Both of them were now scrunched up, rather uncomfortably too, but the cloak covered them now. All she could do was wait and hope.
~*~*~*~*~
The pain lasted forever. The pain lasted a split second. He could not tell. This place was beyond the reckoning of time. If only the pain would go away.
As though this thought, this desire, were a summons, something changed. The evil beast pulled back, fear rolling off it. It opened its mouth, to attack or defend itself he wasn't sure but it never made a sound. One moment it was simply there and then it was gone.
Another white creature approached. He fought to get away but only managed a whimper. This nothingness of space rendered him incapable of movement. All the darkness of the underworld could feast on his soul and he would be unable to defend it.
This one was different. With his non-eyes he felt it staring. Its gaze fell upon him and was like bliss. All the aches and tears in his mind were gone. He could almost see clearly again.
'You should not be here Sirius. You came to us the wrong way. I fear for you.'
'How do you know my name?' The other hadn't known. What, who, was this new being?
'Padfoot, would an old friend ever forget his greatest companion?'
And then he knew. Joy coursed through what remained of his existence. He was not alone like he'd thought he was. 'Prongs?'
There was no smile, almost no acknowledgement in the light of his friend to indicate that he was happy for him. 'Indeed, not alone. That is why I'm afraid, and why you should be. There are ways from this wasteland but I can only show you the ways up. Do you understand?'
It took a moment for the thoughts to sink in. Ways up? Then, using all the signals memories and thoughts showed he understood.
There were ways out. But none that James could lead him to would ever lead him back to the life he knew. None would lead him back to his godson.
~*~*~*~*~
"It's certainly about time you woke, lazy."
Harry shook off all memory of his dream and focused bleary eyes on Ginny's face. She was a lot closer than he'd ever been before. In fact...
"Why am I on top of you?"
She giggled. Even in the dim light of the snow-covered blanket-tent she was beautiful. "Because you almost froze to death, smart one. If you hadn't been such a prat and walked out into a blizzard we wouldn't be here now would we?"
She did have a point. But even then a quiet thought crept to his attention. 'If we weren't here it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful a day as it is right now.' He turned his head and smiled at the thought.
He wasn't exactly warm but the shelter and Ginny's warm body made it so the temperature was almost comfortable. The cold had long since fled.
"I had a fire going," she went on, "but we've been in here for hours and it burned down a while ago. No more sticks. I was going to get more but...you...I didn't want to leave you here." Her voice broke. "You were so cold and I was so afraid...." She turned away from him.
He opened his mouth to apologize for scaring her but her hand flying at his face stopped all thought of it. Harry would never have thought such a slight, small girl could manage a slap like that. 'Must be a girl thing.'
She was positively crimson with anger. "IF YOU EVER, I MEAN EVER PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, HARRY JAMES POTTER, I WILL CURSE YOU UNTIL YOU ARE SO SORE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR A MONTH! AND THEN I'LL TELL EVERYONE IN SCHOOL ALL YOUR DARK SECRETS AND MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL IF YOU EVER CONSIDER SOMETHING SO STUPID YOU BRAINLESS," she slapped him again, "GUTLESS" slap. "INCONSIDERATE" slap. "UGLY" slap. "MORONIC LITTLE...LITTLE...." She trailed off, glaring and spluttering at him, at a loss for more insults to hurl his way.
If his cheek didn't hurt so much he would have found the whole situation quite funny. As it was he had to bite off a laugh at the look on her face.
"I love you."
All amusement faded from his face at the realization of what she had just said.
Her jaw dropped as she fully heard her outburst. Jumping up she ran outside. He heard sounds of rummaging. He assumed she was finding more sticks.
Was she crazy? Or did she really mean it? He knew she'd had a crush on him. But that had been so long ago....
Ginny returned. Her face was down and she looked everywhere but at him as she started readying the sticks for a fire. It was obvious that she was red from more than the cold.
Once she no longer had the fire as an excuse she returned to the cloak but sat beside him instead of...the other arrangement. Silence reigned for a moment then....
"Well?"
He blinked. "Well what?"
"You can't be this thick naturally. Aren't you going to say anything? It's not like we can sit here for the next...who knows how long... without saying a word to each other."
This time he did smile. "I suppose not." He fell silent again. This was getting more and more awkward with ever passing moment. "Well, um.... I dunno what you want me to say-" He started.
"Well I'm certainly not going to tell you. I don't know your heart anymore than I know why you ran out here. Answer the question."
Now she was getting snappish. This could get worse before it got better if he wasn't careful.
"Let me finish. I'm sorry for anything I put you through when I ran out here. I...was having trouble sleeping and ended up falling asleep out here. It was an accident." Lovely, the truth, or a version of it. Fairytale version but it was still factual. It would do. "About...the other thing...." He hesitated. How to word it without sounding like a love-struck fool in a romance novel...? "Actions speak louder than words," he finally decided on.
"What-"
Harry reached over and kissed her.
~*~*~*~*~
As first kisses went it wasn't half bad.
She'd led her brothers to believe she'd already been kissed long ago. True, Michael Corner HAD tried to kiss her a few times. He'd always lost confidence halfway to her face and ended up slobbering all over her cheek.
This was what a kiss SHOULD be.
~*~*~*~*~
He knew there was no point in hoping James could find another way. Still, he couldn't help but wish he could see his godson one last time. Really see him as Harry, not as James's Son.
'There are ways,' James whispered. 'You will be in danger here for longer than I may be able to protect you but it is possible.'
'Then whatever happens happens. I need to say my goodbyes.' Is that so selfish a thing to ask?
There was the feeling of movement. Not movement he had had in life but he'd been here long enough to know when scenery was changing. It was a strange thing; the land/space around him shifted while he remained in the exact same place. Stranger things had happened on Earth but this place just existing made those times pale in comparison.
Now he had no doubt that he could see something. It burned bright white in his mind with a fire that made James' seem like the dying flame of a candle. Everywhere he could feel, see, and practically hear the beauty of it. It hummed, it whispered. And he go closer and closer, dragged by his friend toward the center of the massive light.
Harry was sleeping. He was sleeping but not alone. The red haired boy's sister, what was her name?, was cuddled on his lap. Both had serene faces. They were peaceful, together.
That time he was able to smile. He remembered what it felt like to be in love. It was a powerful feeling for a young person.
'You never really grew up, Padfoot. You're still the same lovestruck puppy given half the chance.'
Harry stirred in his sleep. His eyes crept open and focused on him. On HIM! Could Harry actually see him?
"Sirius?"
Joy filled him. His godson could see him! He didn't want to leave this place ever again. The light welcomed him and he had a window to his godson at his disposal.
All too soon he felt himself moving backwards. He screamed at James with his mind to let him go but it didn't help. 'You've stayed to long. They will be coming soon, do you really want another encounter with the likes of that demon?'
In the end he agreed. In the end there was nothing he could do but agree. Except for one thing.
"Goodbye, Harry. Know that I'm watching, in truth or merely by thought,always.'
Always.
He followed his old friend into the light and wished a bit of the peace of the window could come along to ease the pain of goodbye.
~*~*~*~*~
"The storm's clearing up a bit. We should be able to get back up to the castle in a half hour or so. I don't know about you but I'd like to eat everything the tables will give me. A big heaping plate with all the toast, sausage, and bacon and pancakes and..."
Ginny still made him smile. No matter how tired they both were, how hungry and cold she still managed to keep a sense of humor. Or she might simply be passing the time with idle chatter. Still, it helped.
He hoped the dreams no longer came after that last one. Sirius had been there. He'd seen him, he KNEW it was Sirius. Perhaps now the torment of that arch would end. For both of them.
"How do you know it's even still breakfast time? We've been out here for hours, if not a whole day. It could well be lunch, or dinner. Or even breakfast of a whole other day."
"And still we end up at breakfast foods. Besides, we could always stalk on down to the kitchens and grab whatever we want."
"Okay, you got me there."
When the snow stopped falling they dug their way out of their cozy tent and fought through the drifts to the school. They were promptly bombarded with questions of where they had been all this time and as soon as a teacher noticed their arrival were whisked away to Madame Pomfrey.
There was no chance of escape from her wrath once they were inside the hospital wing but Ginny was right. It was breakfast time. Which she delighted in pointing out at every possible chance.
He never forgot why he had run out into that storm. Ginny never asked but in her heart she knew he had gone out intending not to return. In the end, though, neither regretted the time spent beneath the tent and the oak.
Trees do tell stories. The patient can here a bit if they sit long enough. This time the oak by the lake had a happy tale to tell to its children.
And it would go on down through the ages of trees until there were no more left in the world to speak it.
~*~*~*~*~
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