Author's note: Do not tell me that I need to proofread my story. I do not need to proofread my story. I have checked it multiple times for the best wording and grammar choices possible. Also, try to imagine what it will look like if the story had been posted prior to "Expiration Date" on a prominent Team Fortress forum or site.
to quote BestStoriesInc, If you think this is supposed to be serious, "YOUR GRAY MATTER IS LOCATED IN YOUR SMALL INTESTINE".
Expiration date was honestly awesome, but let me show you just how plain silly it is too.
so hevy and scowt weer in the van dat said "RED BRED" but actyoually had notin 2 do wit bred. scowt got waked up by the van BUT IT WAS RILLY MS PAULING! ms pauling askd scowt if day gawt a sootcas and scowt sayded yes and then ms pauling askeded he if n e body saw dem wen dey wer takng the sutcase and scowt was al like 'maybe naw but im actally nawt telin u' and ms pauling said she aculty knew cuz she wuz alread dere and den solder randmly come from nowere somewhere bhind dem and said "HI MS PAULING WE KILEDED EVERY1 AND TOOKG A BEEFCASE" end ms pauling was like 'actally you lefted like sveen peeps and den she killeded some dude wti an arm yousing her gon, no she didn't use the arm, nad said 'acally six' and then hevy pullded the van nto 2 garage thing and ms pauling sais "by" nad scowt was all like "wait" and ms pauling sais "what" and scout said that "ur prolly real busy tis weeknd" and ms pauling was all like yep because there wus 7 no weyt 6 peeps she need 2 hide naow. nd scowt sais he's busy 2 so dat meens da 2 of dem weer busi to. and that confuzzled ms pauling. AND THEN MS PAULING LEEEVE
but scowt wus stil talkin so spi sez "aking owt dat diall ton agen i c" and den scout askeded him 2 go 2 hel no wait mebbe he sed hell but den spy already sneeked into hell (or mabe hel's kitched) and STOLE A BEEFCASE1! no wait dat's a differernt stori you cun jus ferget abowt dat pert.
scowt seesd engi and medec and he askes dem whut dey wer doin and he frew car kees at dem cuz he totes had car kees. and dey didnt cetch et but he sed "noice cetch" 2 dem n e wey cuz he wuz noice liek dat so ya engi sed dey wer teleporting bred (o bam actally it did hav sumthing 2 do wit bred) and dooing x-peremints on de teleporters. den every1one wuz lukign no actally just scowt medec engi solder and hevy and mebbe spi 2; he spi on every1. so den dey TELEPORTED BRED even scowt sed wow! u can teleport bred! big noose! dne he askeded were demo and de beer wuz cuz beer is grown up and he is grown up 2.
then dey rip bred opun and dere wuz gren stuff and teeths in it. so scowt was even more surpreiseds! and he ask wut it's. and medic sed "TUMORS" so dat mean THE TEETHS WER ACTALLY TUMORS!11!121; dis make hevy stop eeting sandwich beecuz he always eeting sandwich. and engy askeded if dey new wot tumors ment so solder grab scowt and said "WE CENNOT TELEPORT BRED N E MOAR!" and dn engy sed "know, u teleport es much bred as u liek"
den hevy eet his sandwich becuz hevy not eeting sandwich is DISGRACE 2 AWL NATUR!
end den engi sayed they will awl die. den spi apered cuz he wuz waching awl long! nd spi askededede when wil ze tumors kill zem and medic wuz liek "vvhell lets see vve awl youse ze teleported sey 6 tiems e day tiems 4 yeers meyenus vvere nawt bred...(DWRAMAHTIC PAWS")... 3 deys! "
AND DEN A DEMO APPEERED CUZ TELEPORTATION! and he head the beer scowt 4Shadow-ed.
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE RED BRED BASSE WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV SEVENTEA OURS LEF!
so spi putt metel pale awn table and say "zis is a bucket" and 2 solder it wuz de most byootifullest thign evr and den he sed "deer god" cuz mebbe he think it gawd of deers oar somethn. and den spi sed dere wuz MOAR! and solder said " NO!" end every1 wuz liek "yus!" then spi sed it contais de dyeing wish of every1 in da room! it wuz actally bucket list! spi was so sneeky lerning abot every1's dyeing wish! but actualy he weren't cuz he med scowt do eet. end den dey med deth watchs all et same tiem but dey didn't watch 4 deth cuz dey knew dey will die n e weys. den spi sed grate speach but really you should just watch it for yourself. so spi sed first dyeing wish wuz scowts and he wahnted spi to be hit by car! with stinky lines! and picture of spy heavin sex with iFell tower cuz he is french! and iFell tower heavin sex wit him! and dem 'relackzin' afder! (dis confuzzled demo) and spi cringing and iFell tower had stinky lines on eet! scowt was laffing scowt is ver funy.
solder said spi did not reed his cuz he probs jus made eet write den. spi askeded if solder wont bucket and solder wuz awl liek "YES!" and spi giv up and leeve!
wen solder walk a whey wit bucket medec end engi walk pass wit bred and teleporters and he c bred! and he has idea!
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE SPI SMOK RUM WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV FIDDYATE OURS LEF!
scowt nock on spi door wen he reedin and smokeing cuz it smok room and wen spi new it wuz scowt he told he 2 f hisself but actally he said bleep but u no eet is nawt bleep cuz acually eet es fork. den scowt say dat he atually not wont spi wit stinky lines, he wont date miss pauling! and spi sey scowt terible wit grills but actaly scowt rilly guud wit grills! but spi gud wit laydees but he aktaully meen miss pauling. so spi meks scowt sey spi is beter den him 2 every1 and he did evan do it LYE!
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE TRANIGING RUM WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV FIDDYWON OURS LEF!
so spi sed awl "SEDOOSE MII" to scowt but scowt fink spi want gay but sex so scowt confuzzled. then actally it wuz not tru cuz spi wuz actualy hellpin scowt. den he said he wemen and he wont danger mystery Mann end dat confuzzle peeps moar.
end den scowt lern "DINNER" "DANCING" end "DEMEANOR" wutevr dat ees. end scowt drunked so mawch BONK he got 3 hat wit won huderd bonk tabs. TAKE NOET!
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE TRANIGING RUM WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV TOOO OURS LEF!
den spi askede scowt wut do wen diner date at 7. scowt say check if kook rusthead and ef know den kil kook and POOTIS knew kook. and spi almos sey he reddy but new dat if he did every1 wood no was HIM hoo replaceded kook at other diner so he say scowt failure. den scowt sey he not fail and he go hev date with miss pauling himself but den it nawt liek he brung spi 2 date n e whey! haw haw i funny.
so he turn on beefcase stole alarm.
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE MEDECS RUM WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV WON OURS LEF!
engi take tumor bred and teleport to medec cuz engy end medec dyeing wish was fingdinging out if bred get MOAR TUMORS if teleport. AND DEN BRED WAS SQUIRNIMING AND MEKING TRIBBLE NOICSE! and medec intersted not confuzzleds. END DE BRED HAFF TEETHS THAT WEER NAWT TUMORS!
AND MS PAULING COMMING TO BASE!
AND DEN AUDIENCE TELEPORTS TO TE RED BASSE WEN DEY ONLEE HEEAV ZEEROH POIWNT SICKS SICKS REEPEETINGING OURS LEF!
and miss pauling arrive and fink beefcase stoled! and scout sey hi and "u look..." so every1 try help him come up wit words; demo say drunk end blurry and solder say round soft round wich mite be sercet code! but scowt jus sez ravishing end miss pauling seyes he does 2! !111211111112!
AND DEY HAVE PROM end archimoiianogj da burd wuz dere 2
den an engi popped out! into room and tell spi demo solder dat only bred get tumors! den medec cull it byooty merk that metatastatatisizedededs in place with weet. and dey haff bred in jar and bred hate medec. then engi say it fin if no1 teleport bred!
THEN SOLDER HAV QUESTON! he asked "EYE TELEPORTED BRED!" engy was liek wut and askeded how much. then solder sed "EYE HAV DONE KNOWTIN BOT TELEPORT BRED FOR 3 DEYS!" den dey ask where send it.
scowt den try brin miss pauling to dinner but den BRED WUZ DERE!
so every1 try to kil bred BUT IT DONTWERK! solder verrry heppy he teleport bred. he fink it funy. den ms pauling make bomb with watch and bom and archimoseds da burd get eet by bred. den every1 run frum bom! but scowt and ms pauling were not BUT BRED DID NOT EET BOM! so archimaisng da burd fly out of bred stumuch and scowt and ms pauling run in. bom x-plowdead end bred ded but scowt and ms pauling alive in ded bred! end den ms pauling excited cuz shee build bom and kil bred and he wont 2 do agen! but scowt sed no cuz he dyeing of tumors.
DEN A SOLDER POPPED OUT! and ento bred to say "WII R GOWIUNG 2 LIV 4EVAH!" but medec sed he dedn't sey dat. but dey not hav tumors. so scowt happy and scowt can go wit ms pauling t'werk cuz she den't hav day offf. den ms pauling say she wil kil scowt.
DE AND
Author's note: That vid is public domain and so is the wiki.