Cows. ... That's about it.
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The Cow Chronicles
~Prologue~
Once upon a time, the cows ruled the land of Hyrule. But alas, this was no more. For the evil Hylians had seen the rich land of Hyrule and wanted it for their own. Of course, the cows could not possibly stand up to such an enemy without opposable thumbs, so the cows were broken apart and scattered across the land of Hyrule. Not LITERALLY broken apart, because that's kind of nasty, but they were all separated from the other cows in Hyrule. So the cows ruled the prosperous land of Hyrule no more, and the evil Hylians reigned there.
Now, you may be wondering why they were called the Hylians before they lived there, and sometimes I wonder this too, but it is a secret that shall never be learnt by mortals such as us.
After many a year of Hylian rule, the Hylians had forgotten all about the cows' long reign over Hyrule and their intelligence, and treated them as simple beasts. But the cows waited. For they knew that one day soon, their time would come again.
Now, by this time, the Hylians had gathered many cows together in one place. It was known to the Hylians as Lon Lon Ranch, but to the cows, it was Cow Place. The reasons for this have been lost in many generations of cow history, so we shall never know why the cows called it this.
And in the Cow Place, the cows had a legend. A legend of a young Hylian in green who would come with a fairy to redeem them from their servitude and restore Hyrule to their peaceful reign.
And they knew that one day soon, this legend would be fulfilled...
Chapter One
Link was in the barn at Lon Lon Ranch, staring at the cows. They were all staring back, and he was creeped out. He decided to play Epona's Song, to see if she would come and kick their brains in, because Link was a very disturbed little child.
Link: *plays ocarina*
Cows: MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Link: AAAAHHHHHHH!
Cows: You are the chosen one!
Link: Um... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cows: Do not be frightened, young Link! It is your destiny to redeem we cows and restore us to our rightful positions as masters of the land of Hyrule!
Link: o.O
Cow #1: Um... Bob, were you sure about that legend?
Cow #2: Well, Jim, it SOUNDED right...
Link: O.O
Cow #3: Maybe this is the wrong young, green-clad Hylian with a fairy. Maybe another will come and redeem us!
Cow #2: Hey, you're probably right, Merle.
Cow #1: Yeah, let's just wait a bit to be redeemed.
Cow #3: Okay. Anyway, the food here is good.
Link: *runs away very quickly*
Cow #2: What a wimp.
Cow #1: Too true, Bob.
And so the cows' redemption was delayed.
They would have procure a new legend, preferably involving absolutely no Hylians, green-clad or otherwise.
The cows' fate was up to them.
Could they return to power in Hyrule? Or would they be forced to produce milk day in and day out? Find out, in the next section of the epic saga of The Cow Chronicles!
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Meheh. There probably won't be another chapter, since I won't get around to writing it.......................................... oh well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Cow Chronicles
~Prologue~
Once upon a time, the cows ruled the land of Hyrule. But alas, this was no more. For the evil Hylians had seen the rich land of Hyrule and wanted it for their own. Of course, the cows could not possibly stand up to such an enemy without opposable thumbs, so the cows were broken apart and scattered across the land of Hyrule. Not LITERALLY broken apart, because that's kind of nasty, but they were all separated from the other cows in Hyrule. So the cows ruled the prosperous land of Hyrule no more, and the evil Hylians reigned there.
Now, you may be wondering why they were called the Hylians before they lived there, and sometimes I wonder this too, but it is a secret that shall never be learnt by mortals such as us.
After many a year of Hylian rule, the Hylians had forgotten all about the cows' long reign over Hyrule and their intelligence, and treated them as simple beasts. But the cows waited. For they knew that one day soon, their time would come again.
Now, by this time, the Hylians had gathered many cows together in one place. It was known to the Hylians as Lon Lon Ranch, but to the cows, it was Cow Place. The reasons for this have been lost in many generations of cow history, so we shall never know why the cows called it this.
And in the Cow Place, the cows had a legend. A legend of a young Hylian in green who would come with a fairy to redeem them from their servitude and restore Hyrule to their peaceful reign.
And they knew that one day soon, this legend would be fulfilled...
Chapter One
Link was in the barn at Lon Lon Ranch, staring at the cows. They were all staring back, and he was creeped out. He decided to play Epona's Song, to see if she would come and kick their brains in, because Link was a very disturbed little child.
Link: *plays ocarina*
Cows: MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Link: AAAAHHHHHHH!
Cows: You are the chosen one!
Link: Um... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cows: Do not be frightened, young Link! It is your destiny to redeem we cows and restore us to our rightful positions as masters of the land of Hyrule!
Link: o.O
Cow #1: Um... Bob, were you sure about that legend?
Cow #2: Well, Jim, it SOUNDED right...
Link: O.O
Cow #3: Maybe this is the wrong young, green-clad Hylian with a fairy. Maybe another will come and redeem us!
Cow #2: Hey, you're probably right, Merle.
Cow #1: Yeah, let's just wait a bit to be redeemed.
Cow #3: Okay. Anyway, the food here is good.
Link: *runs away very quickly*
Cow #2: What a wimp.
Cow #1: Too true, Bob.
And so the cows' redemption was delayed.
They would have procure a new legend, preferably involving absolutely no Hylians, green-clad or otherwise.
The cows' fate was up to them.
Could they return to power in Hyrule? Or would they be forced to produce milk day in and day out? Find out, in the next section of the epic saga of The Cow Chronicles!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meheh. There probably won't be another chapter, since I won't get around to writing it.......................................... oh well.