Title: Forever Broken
Author: Pepsi chan128
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, if I did would I be writing fanfiction?
Summery: The Prequel to my up coming fic, Blue Mist. Takao has always loved Kai. But Kai doesn't seem to love him back...
Warnings: yaoi(boy love), one sided love, and OOC-ness.
Pairings: Kai/Ray and One-sided Takao/Kai
Author note: This is the fist part to my fic. I hope I do okay with it. It's my first posted fic. No need to go easy on me. I can take any criticism thrown my way. Please R&R!
And thanks to my beta! glomps Anna
------
-----------------------
Forever Broken
-----------------------
I wish I never saw it.
...Them...
Their lips caught in a passionate kiss.
If I hadn't seen it, then maybe I wouldn't have been in a situation like that...
I can hardly look at them. Him—the one I love—and him—one of my best friends. I can't get it out of my head—the moans, of my love's name coming from the other's lips in a gasp as hips grind, and hands roam. He silently begs for my love to take him, as I know now he does often. I can't concentrate. Pushing the rice around in my half empty bowl with my chopsticks, I seem to have attracted the attention of everyone around me. All of them, the Bladebreakers, were once again at the dojo eating whatever Gramps cooked. My love's icy voice broke me out of the spell.
"Wha-What? Did you say something?" I look up, my eyes meeting the crimson eyes only my love could ever have. I looked away almost as quickly.
A voice—not his—spoke, "Are you okay, Takao? I mean, you've barely touched your food, and you're quiet. Are you sick? Do you need a doctor? Should I call—?" They were all looking at me now: Hiromi, Kyoujyu, Max, Rei, and my love.
I forced a laugh and a smile. "I'm fine, Maxy." Forcing the smile was getting to be something a did a lot lately. "I was just thinking about something. No need to worry too much." I know I hadn't fully convinced him. I'd be surprised if I'd convinced any of them. But they didn't comment on my odd behavior. I'm grateful for that at least, because then they can all go on pretending I'm fine. Then I wouldn't get in the way of my love's life.
My love snorted, as if I had said something amusing. "That's funny. I didn't realize you could think. Just don't hurt yourself Kinomiya." It hurt. A lot. My love hates me, and I don't know why. We got along fine for a bit, then he became so distant when they started to go out. But I've learned to live with it— someone like the great Hiwatari Kai could never love someone who's a needy, broken person like me. Why would he, when he has Rei; Rei, who manages to be so calm, collective, and able to give Kai everything he deserves. It's everything I wish I could give Kai, but it's also everything I don't have.
"Kai!" Rei's voice was scolding, but full of playful love. "Be nice to Takao, he's our friend."
These words seem to echo through my head as dinner finished. Everyone was talking, but I couldn't hear it. It was like a buzzing in my ear. I wasn't paying attention and they didn't say anything.
That's when it hit me.
He's our friend.
These words were still echoing through my head.
I am.
What I felt for Kai...it was wrong. It might stand in between my friend's and my love's happiness. What I felt has changed me. And I couldn't risk it coming between any of my loved ones' love. I wouldn't let it. But in order for me to not stand between them and their love, I'd have to disappear.
And that's what I did. I left Beycity, Japan, Asia... All for them. I would have left the world if I could, but it would have hurt them more. I will leave this world, after I know they're all happy. But not until I know that for certain. I have to know they are happy...that he is happy...even without me...
As I sit here, five years later, thinking about all that I've gone through for my only love, I realize something. That I, Kinomiya Takao, am meant to be like I was then...
Forever broken...