The Beginning of the End: The Truth about Lily Potter

by Amber Jack

You've heard Sirius's account of my parents. Granted it was as broken as he, but here is the most accurate account of my mother as given to me by my Aunt Petunia. Nothing was what it seemed & my mum was certainly not the saint the light declared her-HP (plz be warned of language and other MA situations-completed edited 8-31 to be a oneshot like originally planned) LilyxJamesxSirius

Hello All-Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I would appreciate any feed back that you're willing to give me.

I must warn you that this story will appear to be slightly disjointed at times-that was entirely on purpose. The story is meant to be read like a diary/memior account. There are two other one-shots that were written before this story, but with this story in mind as I was writing them. Check them out if you'd like. You don't really have to read them to understand what's going on in this story, but it'll give you another POV then Lily's.

Here's my second warning. My Lily is very insane, but functionally so. Everthing she does-she does for an end-game. I'm vague in quite a few parts on purpose-most of those parts will likely be explanded in another story at a later point in time. Let me know if you have any questions or would like anything expanded more.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and characters belong to JK Rowling.

In this case, the beginning was the end. It'd all come down to the final battle. But it all had to start somewhere. You know Sirius's story or at least what he could remember of the past through his skewed memories of a broken mind. These are the accounts of my mother, Lily Ann Evans-Black-Potter.

I have gathered her diary, letters and oral testimonies from my aunt to piece together her story. My mother did great and terrible things. She was brilliant in more ways than one. My mother wasn't extremely powerful, but she knew how to use her power to her advantage. I get my strength in magical power from my fathers, but my darkness I come by honestly through my mother. She was a dark and cold sorceress-Brilliant and lovely and perfect in the eyes of those who truly loved her.

Something that must be understood; Lily had been as dark as they'd come, had she not had the morals she'd catered too, then she would have been an evil to rival the darkest of The Dark Lords. She'd been a true lady of darkness and she'd met her match within James. –This was told to me by my godfather. It was an ugly, beautiful and fascinating truth.

My mother was not someone to be messed with. She was not kind, she was not patient but she knew how to act the part. She always got her revenge, there was always a price for any service my mother offered and she made sure that everyone knew it, even if they didn't quite realize it. They may not have always taken her seriously, but they eventually understood, even if it was at their death bed. This I have seen through the family curse and heard by those that loved her.

This is the story of my mother and in essence is the story of how I came to be and the precursor of the beginning of the end of the world as most people knew it.

-/-

Part 1

Petunia has helped me record my earliest memories, some in her hand because my hand writing was either deplorable or shaky from the nightmares. Petunia was my rock, my salvation and my everything for a very long time and I was her everything for even longer. In the end it was not her that betrayed I, but rather I that betrayed her.-Lily

-/-

I was very young when I began to receive bombarding visions of the future. No five year-old should be forced to watch the end of the world over and over again. To an adult it would put them in therapy for years, for a child to experience such a thing; it breaks them and warps them. Children are resilient but eventually everyone has a breaking point. I was no different. Growing up, I knew that I had become different and I knew that if others knew what I knew, that it would frighten them. They would take actions that I would not approve of, actions that would hurt the plans I began to put into place as a small child.

As a child I looked the part of a demure innocent. I had angelic looks and a soft voice. I was smart. Adults noticed this and talked to be as if I was much older than I was. There was no doubt I was a beautiful child. This was reinforced by the fact that it was commented upon relatives, teachers, friends and neighbors. No-one knew who or what I was or was capable of. No even I did for a long time until I did and I never once looked back.

-\\\\-

I did not start out to become the person I am now. Before my 5th birthday I had been a sweet child. My sister had once described me as the sweetest girl that anyone could ever meet and then it was like something snapped and split my personality. When that happened I became a completely different person, someone so far removed from the sweet girl I was once. I transformed and I wasn't a beautiful butterfly that emerged from her cocoon, I became something much darker and so much colder. The only thing that kept me from drowning in those early days had been my sister and I latched onto her like a leach for several years.

I had Petunia's loyalty from the beginning, she declared to me as she rocked me to sleep those first few nights that she would love me no matter what changed about me; That I would always be her little sister and nothing could change that.

The day I turned 5, something changed so irrevocably that it broke me and I had to rebuild myself from scrap. Unfortunately not everything was put back in quite the correct way and I was left 'damaged'. I knew it, but cared not for the knowledge, so I made do with what I had and changed the world to fit me and my ideas.

-\\\\-

When I was a child I did not have even a small inkling of what my family was. But those skeletons would not stay in the closet much longer. I was the daughter of Childrick Evans who was the son of Midra Evans, the seer of our line. Before turning 5, I had not met my paternal grandmother. I do not believe I ever would have, had events played out as they should have, but something SHIFTED that day of my fifth birthday and the world changed. A veil had lifted and another dropped in its place and I was no longer the child I had been.

For two weeks my young mind was forced to watch the world end over and over again. I saw great and terrible things. Things that I was never meant to know; things that I should never have been able to understand at my age, but each nightmarish vision forced new information into my head.

I was forced to watch a young boy bow down to the will of others and be ultimately defeated in the end, though he did put up quite the fight and for that I was inexplicably so proud of him and so utterly pissed at the people responsible for the situations he continuously found himself. His green eyes, so much like my own were captivating and even though I could not have known who he truly was, my soul wept for the cruelty he suffered, for the broken spirit he had at the end, for the horrible cruelty that had been his life to bear.

The first night I dreamed, the boy won, but at a terrible price. He'd lost everything. It had been a long war, but he'd finally pushed back the darkness, then a SHIFT occurred and he lost. I was too young to understand everything that I saw, but something had changed and it couldn't be fixed by normal methods. Nothing he did was enough. He was broken and 2 weeks later so was I. I was at the end of the proverbial rope when everything changed for me and it wasn't necessarily for the better.

-\\\\-

My gift was beginning to develop and I knew that something was about to change forever. Midra Evans knocked on our door the moment I awoke from the last nightmare. A plan was forming, but I needed more information. This woman who was about to walk into my life, would provide that for me. I would allow nothing to stop me now. I could not. My father answered the door, "Mother?"

A strong formidable woman stood in the door way. Hair as red as mine and eyes the verdant green of the Evans line. "Allow me through." It was a command not to be argued with, but my father was in shock at seeing a woman he had not seen in several years. I got the impression that he was both thrilled and terrified at the fact his mother was on our door step. The fact that it was the middle of the night was being ignored for now.

"Why are you here?" The question by my father was ignored as my grandmother turned to me as I walked into view. My eyes were heavily shadowed from lack of restful sleep, hair in disarray, and my overlarge pajamas drowning my frame. My mother gasped at my appearance, horrified at the way I looked. "Lily…" I'd lost quite a bit of my baby fat over the last two weeks. My mother had just gotten home from a convention and had not seen me since the nightmares had begun. I knew that I must have looked like a pale shadow compared to the Lily I had been just a short while ago. My father had not noticed it much, he was always working, it was Petunia that had tried to make sure that I ate, but I had thrown most everything up.

I ignored my mother and focused on my grandmother, my once vibrant verdant eyes were now a dull, lifeless olive. "Why?" I whispered, at that moment I was nothing more than a broken child with her mind slowly rebuilding itself.

She sighed, she was cold yet compassionate. "Come here child and I will do my best to explain what I can."

So she did, she told me, my father, my mother and sister what she was. She was an Evans' seer. Fate's chosen to view the world as it will be, could be and had been. It was a curse placed upon the family a thousand years ago because someone had pissed off the wrong person. She told us that it was rather uncommon for an Evans' seer to be born when there was still one alive, but something happened. She'd felt the SHIFT but was unable to determine what it meant. She just knew that she'd had to come to see me. Fate had shown her great but terrible things and there was a warning in there, but she didn't go into detail. I had the feeling she didn't want to scare my parents. As unbelievable as her story had been for my parents, they had taken it in. Though it would be years before they truly believed what she had explained to them.

Later that night, when it was just Petunia and I, she told me what she hadn't told my parents. She informed me that I would have to be weary. My abilities were ones I had never been meant to have, but something had changed and I was given the seeing curse. She told me that because of my powers, I would have to be in constant control of myself. I could easily slip and if I were found out I would be killed. I was an abomination among the magical world and they did not take such abominations kindly. Had I still just been that five year old child without a care in the world, I would have been terrified of such a pronouncement, but after that SHIFT I was cold and calculating with the rebuilding of my mind.

Her advice to me had been, "Make your friends if you are capable of such a thing, at the very least make sure you have allies. You will have to present a specific persona to the world and control it. Play the games that you will need to, but always be in control of yourself and never try to play someone you can't read, you will regret that in the end." She sighed at that and then said, "You are only five, people will expect you to act your age. Slowly show those around you that you are intelligent that you are much smarter than anyone your age, this way they will not question any odd leaps of logic you may have in the future. Your mind will no longer work the same way it once did. I will help you in any way I can, but you will largely be on your own in this path that is being forged for you."

"So I do not have a choice in any of this?" even as I said it, I wish I hadn't. It showed weakness and even at my vulnerable state I knew I was better than that.

"There will always be a choice, but it will sometimes seem like there is not."

"I will help you." My sister said. She was firm and quiet. It seemed these days she never spoke too loudly. I could feel her worry and it saddened me as it pleased me. It was a confusing set of emotions. I managed a small smile in acknowledgement, but it did not seem to please her as much as I wished it had.

I went to bed that night, free of many worries, but still suffering the damage that had been caused by the visions.

-\\\\-

Midra stayed for several days. She stayed long enough to make sure that I was rebuilding myself, that I would not fly off the handle at the wrong word or look. That I could control my impulses.

The day she left, she also made sure that I knew I was a witch. This was not something she told my parents, she left it up to me. It would be my choice whether or not my parents knew before I turned 11. I did not tell them. I had the feeling that to keep my true self hidden I would need to keep them in the dark about that part of my heritage.

She explained the wizarding world to me the best she could. She had never been a part of that world, but she had observed it for many years. Magic had not always been uncommon in our family, but the last generation to have a wizarding magical gift had been my grandmother's mother. According to Midra, our family was a forgotten noble line. Meaning the ties we'd had to the old families of the wizarding world have been severed and forgotten. She hadn't know the reason why, I made it a subsidiary plan to find out one of these days, though it rated rather low on the importance scale right now.

Regardless, our line was old and Fate had chosen us to be the gatekeepers. The fact I had magic would complicate things greatly. No seer had ever had magic in the Evans line before. The Evans seers were guides, they were not meant to change anything, but I refused to stand by and watch the world that I saw come to pass. I didn't care what I had to do and that was the moment everything truly changed for me. I also made sure that Petunia knew everything that I did. I made the conscious decision to tell her everything I could. I had the inkling that if I didn't have at least one person as a confidant than I would truly go insane.

-\\\\-

Growing up with the knowledge I was privy too made me hard. I'd been able to hide it from strangers and even my parents, but I was unable to hide my true self from my sister and grandmother. My parents eventually understood that I was different, but I was able to adequately hide my oddities from them. They no longer watch me as closely as they did when I was younger.

My sister was my life raft for those early years. I struggled to come to terms with my powers and Petunia helped me. She helped keep me sane. The following years were filled with learning and information gathering. My sister and I realized that I was much, much smarter than anyone my age had the right to be. My sister was brilliant, all Evans were, but my level of genius was uncommon. She began to tutor me when she got out of classes, when she realized that I needed to keep myself busy and school was not helping me. She kept me from getting myself into trouble those first few years and for that I can never appreciate her enough for.

-\\\\-

Five years later

"Come here." My sister murmured to me one day as she was studying for end of term exams. She was 16 and I was almost 11.

"What." I was rather moody, but slid into her lap anyways. She slid her arms around me as I leaned back.

Putting my chin on my head she murmured, "Stop moping, so you're a little crazy. Who cares?"

I snorted, "Eventually people will notice. And I'm not moping," I muttered sullenly.

She snorted, "You are, but I can help you there. You're intelligent and charming, even if you are a bit of a sociopath. I love you anyways and mom and dad will always be on your side."

"How are you going to help me?"

"I'll always be there for you. There is nothing in this world that you can do that will ever turn me away. I am your sister and yours to the very end." At her words, I felt the magic binding us. I wonder if she felt it as well. Petunia may not have had access to the magic of the wizarding world, but she had a very strong innate magik that danced under her skin. The colder part of me realized that I had just gained a very valuable servant, but the part that was still capable of feeling that connection to other human beings was astonished at how much her oath affected me. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Somehow Petunia knew what was going on in my head. "Don't worry about it luv, here…" she pushed the book she'd been studying towards me."You can help me with my assignments. You always did understand this blasted Calculus better that I did."

That was the end of that. The next day I got a visit from an elderly woman who declared that I was a very special girl who had just received an invitation to go to a very special school. I was bemused at the entire thing, but let her in. The Charade had begun.

-\\\\-

Minerva explained to my parents what the wizarding world was. They were both reluctant to let me go off by myself, but I was able to come up with a plan that suited everyone's needs.

-\\\\-

"Why doesn't Petunia come? Since mum and dad have to go to work, Petunia could act as my guardian. Can't you disguise her and make her look a bit older?"

Minerva was hesitant but agreed to the request to make everyone feel more secure. Petunia looked at me questionably and I grinned. She rolled her eyes in amusement. To my parents and the professor it would have looked innocent, but it wasn't. My sister knew I was playing a game with everyone and was reassured by the fact that I wanted her to come with me. In those days I didn't want to leave her behind in anything.

As we left my parents house, we went next door. "We will be taking another student along with us."

Petunia looked down to see my reaction and she sighed at the rather calculating look that must have shown up briefly on my face. I had mostly stayed away from the odd neighbor boy as he had always felt a bit off, but if it was magic that I had felt within him, than I could use that ability to my advantage. He always seemed to have a rather strange crush on me. I had tried to persuade him against it a couple of years ago, back when I was still able to stop myself from using the people around me, but he seemed to have become more enamored of me since then. And after a rather intense episode of visions I had lost that ability to care about the pawns I encountered.

Minerva knocked on the door and a sallow skinned woman answered the door. "Ah Ms. Snape, I'm here to…"

"Yes, yes, Severus. Come down here." The woman was loud, but something about her screamed of pain. She was defeated and had done it to herself. I felt no pity for her, only disappointment that she was useless.

Her son came down the stairs. He was a sad pathetic creature, but had potential. He looked at me with that same look of enamorment that he'd had two years ago and my darker half rejoiced at the pawn that just walked into my life. It was very likely that he would hate me, but I knew with the decision to get him on my side, my son's future would be secured. Hmmm, I guess the boy was my son after all. I had known, but the confirmation thrilled me.

-\\\\-

My sister, Lily always had this odd thing she did, if she didn't respect you or thought that you were useless to her than you were dubbed by your first name, it was a sign of respect for her to call you by the appropriate title and your last name. There was only ever one exception to this rule.-Petunia

-\\\\-

During the trip to Diagon Alley, I had a talk with Severus while my sister kept Minerva busy with questions.

I grabbed Severus back as we continued walking, so that he could walk next to me. He looked at me with his pinched face. He was not attractive, which was unfortunate. He would have been of more use to me if he had been, but I knew how to play on his weaknesses and in the end his weakness would benefit my plans. Even though in the past I had gone out of my way to more or less ignore him as I hadn't felt he would be useful to me, but the knowledge that he was a wizard changed everything. I believed that it helped that he felt different than Minerva. He was much darker and that pleased me.

"I have a proposition for you. We'll need to have a talk later when we get back. I want to know everything that you do about this new world and I want your..." I trailed off not sure what word I wanted to use,

He frowned, "You want to use me?" I stopped and stared at him. Maybe he would understand my end game…eventually though I had no doubt he would hate me. I almost smiled.

"Do you want to believe that or would you rather believe that I am going to be your best friend; that I will always look out for you? That I will protect you, as long as you help me and keep me informed of the things that I desire to know." I murmured, it was cruel of me perhaps, but he would need truth laced in lies. I would protect him as long as he was useful to me. I could see he would be useful to me in the future. Whether or not it would be a continuous thing remained to be seen.

"We'll talk later. We should catch up with the professor and your sister…" Here he sneered and I wrapped my hands tightly around his arm, burning him with my magic that was barely contained under my skin in my anger.

"Don't you ever fucking disrespect my sister. I don't care what views and stances you take, but if you ever disrespect her near me, you will regret it." My threat was delivered in a calm and deadly voice. Had I been a lesser person I would have sneered at him, as it were I would not stand for the one person I had complete faith in to be defamed by a simple pawn.

He hissed in pain, but nodded in compliance. In a rare move of generosity that I knew would help seal the deal, I healed the burns and made his magic sing with pleasure. It was such a simple tactic and for someone who only knew darkness it would have seemed a great boon. My lips twitched into a small smile at the look of devotion on his face and I knew that I had him. I could ask him to do anything and he would do it without question if only for the promise of my favor.

I left him standing there and walked up to my sister and place my hand in hers. She looked a bit startled and then saw the look on Minerva's face. It was that 'awww' look that people sometimes get when they looked at a new baby or adorable scene. Petunia rolled her eyes at me and shrugged it off. She gripped my hand in acknowledgement. She would ask about it later and I would tell her.

Minerva told us that we would be heading to the bank first. We had to exchange muggle pounds into wizarding money. Severus looked pinched at this and I let go of Petunia's hand to slip some money into his pockets. I didn't know how much he would need, but I SAW that it would be enough and it would firmly squash any remaining doubts that he had. I did not give him pity or understanding, it was just a fact and he saw that as he looked at me. He knew this was me 'taking care of him'. He gave me a small nod and I went back to holding Petunia's hand.

As we entered the bank I frowned as I felt a wisp of magic try to grab hold of me. I couldn't have that. I grabbed it and forced it away. One of the creatures…they looked like goblins or something…glanced my way and I gave it a cold smile. I refused to bow down to anyone, especially not a creature that looked like something from the Grimm's fairy tales. It looked disgruntled but didn't come over.

We walked up to the counter. Petunia and I were at a teller and then Severus was next to us and Minerva in the middle to give instructions. "Go ahead and give your money to the goblins. They'll exchange it for the appropriate galleons, sickles, and knuts." Petunia gave the money up as did Severus. I looked on in interest, still holding Petunia's hands. It was something that made me look vulnerable, so I used the tactic in public quite often.

I would have to learn more about these creatures, to see if they would be useful in the future, but for now I would hold my curiosity. I had some time to get used to this odd world that I found myself in. After all I had years to plan the future and manipulate to fit my desires. My son would thrive; I would make sure of that, no matter what else happened. If I had to crush everyone in my path to do so, I would.

-\\\\-

After the majority of the shopping was done, we walked into Ollivander's wand shop. We'd finished the rest of our shopping and it was time to get the instrument that would help me forge a better future for my son. He was an intriguing old man with strange magic. He seemed to see right through me, but was amused by what he saw. I was curious at what was going through his head. I would have to come back and talk with him. His magic was almost intoxicating. It was a breath of fresh air in this sickening place. I had not been pleased with the magic I could feel in this Diagon Alley. The magic of the majority had been diluted, but his was at least 100 times stronger than any of the pawns in the Alley.

"Ah some new students for Hogwarts…" He looked at Severus, "I remember your mother boy. Oak, 9 inches with a dragon heartstring. Unbending. Yes, strong wand for…" Minerva cleared her throat. Mr. Ollivander nodded in acknowledgement at the impatience, I saw the look of irritation in his eyes and I wanted to smirk with the knowledge that this unassuming man could crush her like a bug. You should always respect those with a greater power than your own, or at the very least be weary. Minerva seemed to have no survival instincts. She was proud, too proud. Reminded me of a cat and I hated cats. Stuffy creatures that they were.

After a few minutes later, Severus had a wand that was 'quite swishy'. Oddly I wanted to giggle at the absurdity of the thought. Severus did not seem to have the 'bend over and take it' attitude, but it goes to show that exterior strength does not relate to inner strength. I already had his measure, he was a bit of a coward at heart and I would use that to my advantage.

We were in the shop for almost an hour trying wands for myself. I was starting to get impatient and my sister noticed at she kept shooting glances at the exit. Smart girl, when I thought I was about to set fire to this infernal place, Mr. Ollivander got an odd look on his face and grinned. It was quite disturbing. Made me think of myself too much. He went to the back and handed me a wand. "Ten and a quarter inches, long, swishy, made of willow. Good for charm work, give it a wave girl."

I frowned at the half-lie. The properties were correct, but it wasn't good for charm work. I gave it a wave and a shower of golden sparks emerged. He looked curiously happy. I would have to come back alone to find out more from him. He seemed to be a wealth of information and curiously enough, he seemed like he would be willing to share. That and I wanted to know what was the core of my wand was, it was intoxicating and powerful and made me feel alive. Maybe this world wouldn't be so bad.

-\\\\-

Minerva dropped us back off on Spinner's End and reversed the spell on my sister to make her young again. She nodded her thanks and said that she would walk us to our respective homes. My sister practically oozed responsibility and Minerva nodded and disappeared with a crack of displaced air. I narrowed my eyes in contemplation and Severus said, "Disapparition, it's a common way for wizarding kind to move quickly from one place to another."

I smiled, "Thank you for the information. What are the draw backs to such a mode of transportation?"

He sniffed, "It's a common way to travel, Mother says that it's easily blocked by wards, even low powered ones. The distance one can move, is comparative to the power one has." I nodded in thanks and turned to my sister, "Can you go on home and waylay our parents for a bit? I would like to speak to Severus for awhile."

My sister gave me a look, letting me know that she would like an explanation, but would understand if I didn't give her one. I smiled as gently as I could to let her know that I would speak with her when I got home later. Severus seemed like he was willing to give out the information and I had no problem with picking his brain clean, after all true power was what one could gain in knowledge.

-\\\\-

That night I learned more than I ever thought possible, about the wizarding world. Severus knew quite a bit about the dirty bits that would have taken me a little longer to learn from picking through history books, but it was Eleanor who knew about the politics of the world. It was she who informed me about the divisions of blood and what power and status meant in the wizarding world, that I would be the lowest of the low when arriving at Hogwarts because my parents were considered nothing more than muggles.

I had laughed at that bit and Severus gave me a queer look, but I didn't give an explanation as to why I laughed. They didn't need to know, but had anyone bothered to check my blood- line, they would find my family was a blue-blood line of squibs and seers from before the founders' time. We were nobles. It was those first years that defined my views of the wizarding world and the disgust I held for those weakened fools never lessened and only grew throughout the years that I was a part of their world.

The weeks before September 1 went quickly; I devoured books about everything that I felt would be pertinent, my sister helping me as much as possible. The most helpful book I had come across was entitled "Through the Looking Glass: Politics, Structure and Blood" by S.S. My sister had found it in the trash bin of a second hand book store that we were exploring in the Alley one day. Curiously she wasn't able to read it, but the magik within in her told her that it was useful. She didn't question it, but gave it to me. It was by far the best thing that I could have gotten at that point in my life. It was like the knowledge literally flowed from the book and into my brain.

From that little book I learned everything about the working of the wizarding world and found it flawed and lacking and I began to set my plans in motion. With a nudge here and there to people that I didn't know, but wouldn't think twice of overhearing trivial conversation between two young females, or male and female. I began to make changes that would eventually lead to the world I desired for my son.

You may wonder what I changed and how I changed it, but that is for another entry. Know that everything I did was for a reason. It the beginning it was all about doubt.

-\\\\-

Today is September 1; my parents had to work so Petunia drove me to Kings Cross. I believe she was more excited than I about going to school. The air was thick with magic as we walked in front of platform 9. It seemed that the younger generation was much stronger than their progenitors'. They were still ridiculously weak though. My sister was looking around with awe as she followed me side by side; I was holding her hand tightly, allowing the look of innocence to be presented. I took special note of the disgusted looks that were sent our way, those fools would eventually pay for disrespecting my sister and in turn I, but more importantly for disrespecting my sister.

The world SHIFTED in a single moment, not quite like it did when I was 5, but it practically knocked the breath out of me. Two boys, both dark-haired and so very young looked my way and our eyes met. Their power left me feeling drunk and out of control. A connection, frail but strong formed between the one with glasses and I and a much stronger connection formed between the two boys. I could snap either one and not feel regret, but I could feel that would not be in my best interests.

Their power was dark and it called to my own darkness. My magic wanted to curl and intertwine with theirs and I wanted to bind them to me, just so that I would never lose that feeling of near perfection. I felt terror from the boy with brown hair and I smiled, to those around me I barely twitched my lips, but to him I knew that I looked like the perfect predator. I would come to know this boy and I knew that he would hate me as much as he loved the other. It was a perfect triangle. I could feel the adoration that the one with glasses felt toward me and that was when I understood the connection between us, it was a soul bond; frail but essentially extremely powerful. I had found my son's fathers.

My sister helped me place my trunk on the train and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she hugged me tightly. I allowed it without complaint. "Please write to me every day or as much as you can. I love you and I am here for you in whatever capacity that you need me to be."

I nodded and gave her my smile that I reserved solely for her. "I will, as much as it is within me to." She ran her hand through my red locks and stepped away from the train to leave the platform. I was very proud of her for not turning back. It pleased me to know how strong she was, even in her grief.

-\\\\-

I furthered my plans on that train ride; I began using my innocent act to draw allies to me, played on their insecurities to allow them to see a fellow insecure firstie that was just as confused as they were. I made allies in that first train ride that would benefit both me and my son in the future.

I must admit that arriving at Hogwarts was utterly breath taking. The magic the old girl had was more than intoxicating; I could have probably lived off the magic alone, no need for physical sustenance. In my conversations with Mr. Ollivander I learned that the more powerful one was, the less actual physical needs that person had. I was a special case. I had been broken. He told me that I had been so fractured that my own magic had warped me in such a way that I was almost entirely a magical entity. My body would slowly break down over the years, magic filling in the spaces until I was nothing more than an entity that was solely composed of magic. No one could live like that. He told me I would have to prepare for the moment that I was no more.

I told him, it need not concern him. I had plans in place. I already knew the moment I would die. He got an odd look in his eyes when I had mentioned that. I could tell he wanted to say more, but it was not within me to ask and he wasn't about to volunteer the information. It would be many years before I realized the foolishness of that moment of youthfulness pride.

Hogwarts was beautiful and I knew without a doubt that I would enjoy living there.

-\\\\-

The magic of Hogwarts may have been intoxicating, but the stagnation of magic in the people was sickening. It was like an oozing sore. It not for my control, I would have had a look of utter disgust on my face. Minerva met us at the door and shuffled us into a large antechamber. I felt the ghosts before they entered and my lips twitched in a half smile as the screams of the firsties. The boys that I had encountered on the platform looked amused, though the one that seemed afraid of me met my eyes and I was overcome with the sense of possessiveness. I quirked an eyebrow and he blushed, but did not look away. I felt a bit of respect for that. He was interesting.

Minerva came back and led us out to the Great Hall. The magic in the room was uplifting and I could feel the unease from the other firsties melting away. I glanced around to categorize my surrounding. Taking special note of the grey haired man who felt powerful at the head table, I felt an emotion that I likened to hate blossom within me and I knew that this was the one who would try to destroy all that I worked for. It would take some extra planning to deal with the old man. In the end he would be the one that failed.

My attention was drawn to an old hat on a stool. It felt like a sentient being. It broke out in song and I ignored it in favor of glancing around the room, taking in the divisions of the 4 houses that Eleanor Snape had briefly described to me. I saw Severus in the line-up and gave him acknowledgment. He immediately relaxed and seemed much calmer. He rose just a bit in my original estimates, he was a useful pawn. He would be my eyes and ears in the snake pit. My eyes met the gentle eyes of a girl who would be my eyes and ears in the raven's nest. I twisted my lips into the mockery of a soft smile, she smiled shakily back. The little badgers would flock to me in droves after I gained their loyalty. I need not worry about them now and it would not have benefitted me by having eyes and ears in the badger cave. They would have only been suspicious of me.

As the firsties went to the hat to be placed in their respective houses, I paid attention to only a few names of interest.

"Black, Sirius." The hat was on his head for quite a few minutes and he appeared to be arguing with the thing, it finally yelled "Gryffindor" and he trotted off to the table of gold and red. My name was called and I placed the hat on my head. I felt the magic try to connect to me and I batted it away.

Child, if you will not allow me to read you I cannot sort you.

Place me with the griffins- that is where I desire to be. I will not allow anyone to read me. No matter how harmless they may be.

A soft laugh, Child you amuse me, but I have your measure. You appear innocent, but have a great inner strength, though you are also cold. There is a hurt within you that cannot be abolished and you have a self perceived weakness that you believe will eventually destroy you if you allow it. That small part that was quashed within you at 5 will rise again when you least expect it, but it is not a weakness.

I did the best I could with what I had left, I need not give explanations to a hat, no matter the sentience you hold.

You do not deny that you are weak?

Why would I deny that I have weakness? It is what it is; as long as I can maneuver around it I will be fine. I am cold because it suits me and I hurt from the fractures of my mind. I do not deny this. I cannot.

You cannot, can you. I do not think you are capable of lying.

No, not exactly but like I said as long as I can maneuver around that I shall be fine. I had trapped the hat, as sentient as it was, it could not understand the falsehood that I had just weaved for it. Had I not pushed that weakness through, I would have been sent straight to the snakes' pit, a place where I could not disappear as a mud-blood, the fact that I wasn't a true muggle born was not something that I would be advertising anytime soon if at all. The hat was releasing the magic to place me in Gryffindor when I felt it prod once more. It shouldn't have caught me by surprise but it did. I grabbed a hold of its magic and cut it off from saying anything out loud.

You manipulative little bitch…

Now, now they let you talk to children with that mouth? Tsk-tsk, you should be ashamed of yourself. I forced my magik to go through the hat and it roared "Gryffindor." My uniform changed colors and I walked slowly and demurely to my seat. I sat near Sirius, just to mess with him and I listen to the sorting some more.

A subtle darkness caught my attention and a ragged boy to the name of Lupin, Remus stood forward and was sorted into Gryffindor. He looked worn and defeated, but he was delicious. I offered a dimpled smiled to him and he tentatively smiled back. Sirius glared at me and continued to do so until Potter, James was sorted and sat between us.

He was like a love sick puppy, trying for a micropic bit of attention. I just wanted to punt him out in the rain. I was far more interested in this Remus before me. I wanted to find out what his darkness was and how I could exploit it. I tried to draw him out of this shell he had cocooned himself into, but he wasn't really biting. I shrugged and turned my attention to the others around me. Ignoring James for now, I would deal with him later; I turned my attention to the others around the table. Many of them I would be around for the next 7 sevens or so. I would have to tread carefully, but it would be worth it in the end.

The night finally wound down and the Prefects started herding us to the Tower. I gave a slight nod to Severus and then a small smile to Alice as we were leaving. It was good to keep the pawns happy.

Once we got to the Tower, we were shepherded to our respective dorms. James went up to the boys' dorm and I grabbed the boy, Sirius. I felt it would be a very good idea to nip this in the bud sooner rather than later.

"I don't know who you are, but you will not stand in my way. If you want to survive the coming years, you will let me do what I must."

He seemed to struggle for the next minute or so and I almost wanted to laugh at his discomfort. "He's mine." That lovely possessiveness. "Other than that I will allow you to do whatever you desire." As if he had a choice in the matter. I smiled my predatory smile at him and I saw him shiver with a tremor of terror and was that pleasure…oh he was much more interesting than I originally thought.

I decided to give him a bone, "You can have him for now, he'll be mine in the end." The soul bond would have made sure of that. "You saw the way he looked at me. I also saw the way he looked at you. At the moment you are only boys. In a few years you will be men and then what will come will come. You'll meet it in the end as you are a Black and I know your blood." And I did, his blood sang with a tantalizing darkness that drew me in.

"You're just a mud-blood…."

We couldn't have that, I smiled. A full blown smile to let him see what I was and could be. It seemed like the right thing to do and it seemed to have settled something within him.

"I'm really not, you should look the old phrase up, or better yet, ask your little friend. I have a feeling he would know. Just stay out of my way for now and I'll leave you boys alone. Your friend will try to court me. You know it, I know it. I will allow it and not encourage him until he is of proper age, on one condition."

His jaw dropped. I knew he was stunned and possibly a little pissed, but he would have to deal with it. I refused to bow down to him. He countered with "What?"

So sublime, "When the time comes, you are to stand out of my way. You do this and you will survive the coming years in one piece and still have a place in his life. I won't close you out like I would be allowed to by all laws of governing magic." He was silent and then pulled out a pin knife from his robes.

He cut his palm open and handed me the knife to do the same. I smirked, "You perfect little fool." I didn't explain why I was saying this, it would come out in due time and now wasn't beneficial to me. I cut my palm and we sealed the deal by blood and magik and there was no going back from something like that. We were now tied together by the blood of our families and that could never be broken.

I watched him go up to his dorm and I went up to mine. The next few years would be interesting.

-\\\\-

Hogwarts was everything I thought it would be and so much less and yes I do mean less. I had a wealth of information at my disposal, but the planning of the future was slow, much slower than it should have been. But there was progress. I made acquaintances that I was slowly shaping to be my pawns in the future. I stayed away from the ever watchful eyes of Albus. He was a pain in my ass from the very beginning. He was powerful, but it wasn't a power that drew me in. It made me rather ill to be around him for long. I usually only saw him at dinner time, so I was able to stay under his radar.

James continuously pursued me, but I did not acknowledge his advances as per my deal with Sirius. It amused me greatly that he attempted to draw a buffer of people around him in an attempt to separate James and me; I allowed it because it suited me. He would find out soon enough that it wouldn't work.

The boy, Remus was an interesting creature. I had finally figured out what he was. A werewolf and the power of the moon hung heavily around him. The stupid fool would one day learn that he would have to accept the moon or he would find himself in an early grave. He was highly intelligent for his age, but stupid in the ways of magic. I allowed Sirius to keep him. One day he would be a useful tool and once James was mine, Remus would be part of the fold as well I did not need to fight for his favor, it would come in time.

-\\\\-Part II

My first couple of years at Hogwarts was spent getting to know my pawns and SEEing their use for me in the future. To those I would eventually find use for, I was kind. I was the best friend they could ever ask for and all the while I was learning every button I could use and shift and shatter in the future. I found the Slytherins a small challenge, but it kept me from being too bored and really the only pawn I had any use for was Severus and he was serving his purpose just fine for now. Things finally started to become more interesting in my third year and I would learn a valuable piece of information that would SHIFT the future to my benefit.

-\\\\-

I was laying out on the couch, reading my book "Though the looking Glass," when a quiet voice hissed. "Why are you reading that out here?" I looked up and saw grey eyes. In bemusement, I quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, "It interests me, why wouldn't I read it? Wouldn't you?" It was somewhat curious to see him not trying to draw attention to himself. He enjoyed having people flock to him. I couldn't tell if it was because he subconsciously fed off their magic or he just enjoyed making a spectacle of himself. He kept glancing around the room, as if someone was about to point an accusing finger at us.

"I wouldn't be caught dead holding that book, not with my family's history, nor here in Gryffindor tower." He snorted and sat down beside me. I was somewhat surprised that James wasn't with him as they were usually as thick as thieves, that and the fact that Sirius didn't usually willingly interact with me. After a moment of thought, I decided it didn't really matter too much and I dismissed it. Instead I shifted slightly and marked my place in my book.

It seemed like every time I reread it, I learned something new that hadn't been there before. I suppose it was part of the magic within the book, it allowed it to change from time to time depending on need though sometimes I had a feeling it was more from desire than the actual need of a situation. I imagine that out of pure spite it would refuse information, just because it could. Magic was odd like that, though usually far more compliant in my hands, like an eager puppy, magic usually did whatever it could to please me and it didn't even have to be my own. It bore further study. "You'll have to explain to me why Through the Looking Glass: Politics, Structure and Blood, is such a horrible book."

He hissed sharply through his teeth, "Don't do that."

I narrowed my eyes, "Do what? You are trying my patience." My voice was frosty (I didn't like to be interrupted) and Sirius knew that I wasn't very kind to those who pissed me off. He was usually more careful than to do so.

He frowned, "You really don't know do you?" I continued to stare, letting him know with my silence that he would regret his next words if they were not an explanation. He narrowed his eyes in contemplation and waved his hand around us in a circular motion. His Black family Magik swirled in the air and I knew it was some kind of muffling spell.

In a slightly tight, but tired voice he answered before I could lose my temper. "You are not speaking English; rather you are not speaking any known human language. That book is a dark magic artifact that dates back to the founder's time. It's most likely written by Slytherin and its not in English, I would suggest that you do not read that book so openly. I'm surprised that no one has said anything to you yet."

"I don't usually read in the common room, but my roommates were pissing me off, I figured it would be better to read out here than in the dorm as if I had stayed there, there would have been blood." I murmured and then looked down at the book and concentrated on the writing of the title. I had to look at it from the corner of my eye to actually see the difference between the English I had grown up learning and the writing I had been reading.

I frowned, "What is this?"

He sighed, but explained, "It's called Parseltounge. It's a language saturated in magic, old magic. Very few people realize the power behind such a language. It's considered very dark in today's world. I would suggest that you not speak it or show people that you can read it. Whereas speaking it may be rare, no one in the last 1000 years has been able to read it. You would be instantly labeled a dark witch and quite possibly thrown into Azkaban and I think that would throw a wrench or two into your future plans."

He had a point, but I had a more pressing concern, "Where the hell did you learn this? I've not heard this before and usually Severus is the first to inform me of anything that is labeled dark."

"That's because Snivellus is nothing more than a half-blood whose mother disgraced her line by taking up with a muggle. Don't give me that look. If she had had him out of wed-lock it would have been better in the long run and the stupid fool wouldn't be so foul. It's more than me just disliking him; my Magik wants me to lash out at him. But to answer your question, my family; I have been instructed since I was a very small child in the ways of magic and my family's magik. My mam has been the most knowledgeable of all my tutors. My parents had very little to do with my education, had it not been for her, I would be no more knowledgeable than a blood traitor."

I frowned, "Why? I thought the Blacks were always very explicit on how they raised their children."

He snorted, "You would and it's true, but for some reason my Magik has always rebelled against my parent's and its caused problems. Mam came into my life when I was about three. She has more or less raised me, she was an illegitimate child of my grandfather who was forced into servitude by the Blacks, so that the blood magik could stay within the line and not be filtered elsewhere. At first she was only allowed to teach me from the family primer, but once my brother was born, she had more freedom to do as she wished with me. My Mother" here he sneered and I could feel his magik rise at his distaste, wanting to lash out. It was fascinating, I would be able to use this in the future and I knew he knew it and it made me wonder for a moment what he was trying to achieve with telling me this information. It was a bit more than I originally asked for, but it seemed that some sort of truce lines were being drawn between us. Fascinating…"Was so pleased to have the perfect Black in the form of my brother that I have largely been ignored, which has granted Mam the freedom to teach me of the old ways, the ways of my forefathers before my mother and father destroyed the prestige that had once followed the Blacks. I know its more information than you asked for, but even though I loathe you, goddess help me…I trust you and James loves you and that is enough for now. And this information is something you will need in the future if you continue on this current path."

I titled my head and smiled, a small twist of the lips, but it was real. "Thank you. Our deal still stands."

He nodded, drew his Magik back to him and left me to my own thoughts. He was right about Severus though; my own Magik was beginning to break free of the firm restraints I had set for it when I first met Severus and now it was constantly trying to lash out at him. I still had use for him so I had to practice restraint in his presence, which I was not accustomed to doing. It was usually my sister who helped me with such a thing. I would have to write her soon.

I was learning that most of wizarding kind could no longer feel their own magiks, it was only the old families that were steeped in their traditions that held any kind of knowledge of the old arts and how magic was once. The knowledge of old family Magiks have been largely lost in the passage of time and most scholars disregarded information on the subject as being a separate entity from magic. They believed it was a misspelling of the word. Wizards were fools.

Sirius was a treasure trove of information. After learning I was a Parseltounge, he became more willing to share the information. He'd finally accepted that I wasn't going to leave, that I had plans that included the people that I surround myself with and since James wouldn't stop his continuous pursuit of me, I believe he decided to slowly integrate me into their little circle. It was highly amusing and since it coincided with my current plans, I allowed it. I also knew that Sirius knew that he would eventually need my help with James. After all, if what I had seen of the Potter line was true, James would eventually become quite unstable and the only way to stop it would be the bond that I could feel strengthening between us.

Since our first year, I had been learning more about the bonds that I could see in the magic that surrounded me. The one between James and I was a soul bond that magik chose for our families. We had been tied together at the very moment we'd met. It had grown stronger in the last few years, but it was still frail. Had I wished it, I could have destroyed the bond between us but then I would never have the son that haunted my dreams, nightmares and visions as I was a child. Besides there was an intriguing darkness in James that would only ever be controlled by that bond we shared. It was important that it stay in place, even if the possibility of unrestrained darkness intrigued me on a level I didn't quite understand yet.

-\\\\-

Once I had learned that I was a Parseltounge speaker, I delved into the strength of the magic the speaker spells offered. I learned spells that most could never even imagine. With this branch of magic open to me, I became a whole new creature. My body was saturated in magic. Magic that didn't read dark or light or grey. It was a magic that hadn't been in existence for over a thousand years. It was consuming me, but it was necessary for my plans. More importantly it would allow my son to survive.

I wanted to sneer at the fools around me, these pathetic magical beings who were so blind to the world and what was happening under their very noses. It was pathetic, yet beneficial to continued plans.

It wasn't until my forth year, that someone finally took notice. Sometimes I think that I should have killed him when I had the chance, but the resulting confrontation would lead him to becoming my mentor. He would forever remain one of the few wizards I ever had any respect for. The most ironic thing was, he wasn't even really a wizard, it was just the easiest thing to describe him as.

-\\\\-

It had been just another regular charms class, quite boring but somewhat entertaining, when my life changed once again. Filius always knew how to keep most of the cretins that called themselves wizarding kind under control. The ironic part was that he was no wizard; most people assumed he was a half-breed, but I knew better. There wasn't a single human chromosome in his DNA and it amused me that such a thing could be unnoticed for so long. I sometimes wondered how old he truly was, but it really didn't matter in the long run. It was only idle curiosity.

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted. "Ms. Evans, please stay after class for a bit." I nodded in acknowledgement and finished my assignment for tomorrow (I'd already learned the revealing charm the class was practicing and had started and finished the resulting essay). I was just starting a letter to my sister when class let out. I calmly put my things away and stayed seated as I waited until the last student left and then walked to the front. I was deceptively relaxed, but weary over what he wanted. My magik was fighting me for control. Something was about to change once more and at the moment I couldn't see how it affected my son's future. There was an uncertain threat in the air, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it kept things interesting, I just didn't like being blinded so and I hated to have anything out of my control.

In the end, I was too curious to stop the impending confrontation. Though my magik did begin to raise its hackles when Filius used his magik with no wand and no incantation to close, lock and ward the room. My magik was in an uproar and I had to use the ambient magic in the room to stop it from lashing out at the perceived threat. I broke out in a cold sweat at the struggle but managed to keep it from exploding outward.

"Sit." It was a command and I cautiously obeyed. I could have broken the command, but It was the first time I had felt his true magik and wasn't like anything I'd ever felt before. It wasn't like any wizard's I'd ever felt before, but it wasn't dark either. It was intriguing, but not the normal darkness that I enjoyed immersing myself in nor manipulating. I was curious as to where this confrontation was heading.

In my folly, I decided to play the demure innocent, "Professor, what is this about?"

"Don't play coy with me child. I do not appreciate being manipulated and you are still nothing more than a Child, You are a fool, albeit a very powerful one, but a fool non-the-less." I narrowed my eyes and my lips thinned in anger. Well that was blunter than I had been expecting. It didn't help that I was very close to showing this meddlesome fool, exactly what he was dealing with, when my magic was forcefully restrained under my skin and not by my own violation.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I was also apparently leashed to the chair I was sitting in as I couldn't move more than an inch. I was pissed. His power didn't feel stronger than mine; it was just too different for me to get a good feel upon it to easily manipulate it. It was not the eager puppy I was used, but rather a slippery eel. He was also using the ambient magic in the room to keep me from gripping his magik too tightly.

" You will Listen. To. Me." He looked furious and oddly enough-worried. It'd been awhile since someone had been genuinely worried about me. Other than my sister that was.

"What is this about?" I slowly calmed myself, but could not relax.

"Do you have any idea what you have done, where you are headed if you go down this current path of yours?" He asked as he released the magic holding me down and dropped the command from his voice.

Surprisingly I didn't lash out, I suppose I was far more curious than normal and maybe even slightly cowed-it was slightly refreshing, "How do you see it? No one else can, not even the ones who know about it."

He sighed. "Your body is so saturated in ancient magiks that your normal magic barely comes across as human anymore. No one has noticed because most are not strong enough to sense magik, only the oldest families can still do so and most of them wouldn't know what they are sensing as their parents no longer teach them. It's sad really, so much is being lost as time goes on." In that moment, I could almost feel every year of his age and it was enlightening.

I titled my head, "You're much older than you appear." He nodded.

For a moment he seemed to debate with himself and then rubbed his forehead wearily, releasing me completely from the magic that he had bound me with. My own magik was coiling dangerously underneath my skin, but I had regained my control that had been far too tentative a moment ago. It would not lash out at the threat.

"You need help child. You are falling into the abyss and there will be no one to pull you out in the end."

I cocked my head to the side, "What makes you think I don't know that."

He raised an eyebrow in slight surprise, I wanted to smirk, it had probably been quite some time since the old fool had been properly surprised. "What is it that you hope to achieve?"

I smiled, it was not a nice smile, in fact it made him step back in surprise. "You really don't want to know."

"Oh but I really do."

I shrugged and decided to tell him…at least in part, if worse came to worst, I had my own ways of cleaning up the trash, "I'm not doing it for a noble purpose, I'm not trying to save the world, in fact I could care less about the current state of affairs, all I'm attempting to do is to make sure my son will survive the coming darkness and come out that much stronger for it. I'm laying plans for him to take over when its time. Everything I am doing I am doing for him. At the moment you are all pawns on my chess board, though I think I would place you as a knight. Wiley bastard that you seem to be." Really the explanation wasn't anything he couldn't have figured out by himself and I felt relaxed enough to tell a few truths. My sight was not as blind as it'd been a moment ago and I could feel the threads twisting around and I knew that Filius would be a great knight.

He looked stunned at my explanation and did the most surprising thing, he laughed. I titled my head at him, asking without words what he was thinking. He decided to indulge me, "Ah child, it has been a long time since I've met one such as you. It has been a long time since I have seen one of your potential."

"I…" I really hated to be interrupted and my magik coiled, ready to spring but I tightened my control.

"No, wait until I've finished. I have lived a very long time. Longer than anything you could ever see (I could hear the stress in the word and knew that he knew more than I thought-he was dangerous) and you need help. I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by trying to manipulate me into your game, but for now I will play along. I will teach you some skills that you won't be able to learn in any book and I will guide you down the path less traveled until we must part ways. In return you must attempt to avoid some of your darker instincts. Don't pretend you don't know what I mean." He said sternly. It was amusing and I inclined my head in acknowledgement. I could avoid it for a couple of years, but eventually the instincts would win.

"No harming, torturing or killing while I teach you. If you cannot follow this order than I will make sure you fall to ruin."

"Hmmm…" I frowned, "I can't stop the inclination indefinitely. In fact I will barely be able to stop it for two years."

"That is an oddly specific time frame."

In a fit of pique, I decided to be snarky. "In 17 months, 11 days and 3 hours, war will officially break out and death with come knocking at our doors whether we desire it or not. In 23 months, 5 days on the midnight hour, I will become that which should be feared but not yet known."

He laughed, "Fine, We have an accord." He held out his hand and unthinkingly I murmured, "Yes Professor Flitwick we do."

-\\\\-

To some, that confrontation would not seem like much, but I gained a mentor who would drive me to exhaustion almost every day. My body hurt like hell and my hands bleed from the constant strain of fighting with weapons I'd never touched before, but my magic and magik never felt so alive.

It was the first time I would find myself respecting someone as much as I respected Mr. Flitwick. I didn't even respect Mr. Ollivander as much as I respected Mr. Flitwick, and I respected Mr. Ollivander far more than most respect their elders.

The summer before my fifth year, my world changed again and it was not for the better. I had been wrong in my original time frame, something had SHIFTED and the world SHIFTED with it and my magik refused to let me see it. I had far less time then I originally thought.

Fate wanted me to figure it out before she would offer her guiding hand. I grew antsy at being cut off from my visions, but I learned to deal with it with the help of my sister and surprising with the help of Sirius.

Our deal was coming to fruitation and oddly enough he seemed to be reaching out to me. I believe that he thought he would lose James if he didn't try to compromise, but surprisingly I found that it was not within me to take him away. I wanted James to have Sirius as I knew that Sirius could give James what I would never be able to. I wouldn't ever be able to return the love that James held for me, but I could give him someone that would. It was an odd triangle that we made, but we would make it work for the sake of our future. For the sake of my son's future, I would not allow otherwise.

Miles apart and the bonding had started, it was too early, but James power was growing at an astonishing rate and the bond was trying to compensate. The original bond between Sirius and I was warping because of it. We still had the blond bond he has so foolishly made with me, but it was no longer the sibling bond it should have been. It was evolving into something else and I couldn't really give it a name.

Only time would tell.

-\\\\-Part 3

The end of our 5th year would wrought changes that I couldn't have foreseen, but even though things began to move faster, these changes weren't necessarily for the worst.

-\\\\-

"Lily!" Sirius screamed through the dorm. I could feel his panic choking the very air. A couple of first years looked a little faint at the disturbance. I couldn't fault them, it was heavy and sickening. His family magik was responding to his panic and it was seeking mine out for help. The bond, that had once been only a single thread, had now strengthened to the point that it was almost tangible to those who could sense magic. Thankfully that particular gift had mostly died out in the last century and anyone who did possess it, didn't truly realize what it was anymore. Otherwise I would have had to take drastic measures.

Unfortunately his panic had the damnable side effect of attracting a lot of unwanted attention. Something I did not appreciate it. Keeping my ire under a tight lid, I ignored the questioning stares of those insignificant to me and stood up from the chair I'd been sitting rather comfortably in. I frowned at the interruption in my research, but turned my attention to Sirius. His next words stopped me cold, "Something is wrong with James."

I nodded in acknowledgement and gestured that he should lead the way. It was a mark of how truly distressed he was that he didn't notice my magik grabbing a hold of his before it could become harmful to those around us. I didn't really care about the surrounding pawns, but I didn't want to answer unnecessary questions if people start dropping like flies.

We quickly departed from the common room and outside I suddenly stopped as I felt the strain the castle wards were under. Suddenly there was a shudder that I felt down to my bones and they started to strain and crack. My eyes widened in surprise and I started to curse.

"Bloody hell, he's about to take down centuries old wards." Sirius needed no further urging. We ran to the empty class room that I assume Sirius had drug James to, the atmosphere stank of sulfur and the feel of Potter magik was heavy and cloying in the air. It was corrupted, without anchor, it was utter chaos and sinfully delicious. I had to hold back the heady urge to disrobe and bathe in the darkness that my body and soul craved.

"I had to send an owl to his parents. They won't get it til the morrow." Sirius murmured as we looked on in stunned horror at his writhing form. I had seen this path long ago, but it had been one I was hoping to avoid. We were running out of time and it pissed me off that I had little control of this situation.

"It'll be too late by then. Bloody hell." I cursed under my breath. His magic was out of control, he was going through his majority almost a year early. This wasn't good. We'd have to do the ritual early and I couldn't see how that would affect the future.

"Come-on, you'll have to help me hold his magic in and whatever you do, don't let go." And I wasn't talking about dropping him. If we lost control of our magiks, the resulting explosion would be similar to that of a nuclear bomb. There would be no survivors and that was unacceptable to my future plans. "We'll have to do the bloody ritual tonight."

"But the moon, how are…?"

I shut him up with a flick of my magik. I had to filter through several centuries worth of magic to find a thread that would allow us to leave the wards without bringing them down, so we could get into the Forbidden Forest and get to the alter that we'd set up almost a year ago. It worse than trying to find a needle in a haystack; at least then you could summon the bloody needle.

I sighed in relief as I found it and made sure that Sirius had a good grip on James and I MOVED, it was not apparition but it was similar. You could not apparate with the castle wards, I don't care how strong you were, the only thing that you'd achieve is to give yourself a bloody headache and possibly bring down a ward or two; I know, I've tried. Instead you had to move through the wards, find a crack and SHIFT or MOVE, but it was not a natural ability of mine, instead I twined together the Black and Potter family magiks to bastardize a mode of transportation that would otherwise be practically impossible. It worked, but since I was neither a Potter nor a true Black, I was left with a nasty magical burn for my trouble. I ignored the pain for now, it could be dealt with later. I was just glad the damn meddle fool of a headmaster was out of the castle this evening. He would have easily felt the disturbance in the words and it would have brought a headache of unknown proportions down upon our heads.

"What the hell was that?" Sirius asked as we placed James in the center of the circle.

"I'll explain later. Do you remember the ritual?" I asked as I began to disrobe James.

"Yes." He let out a soft laugh, "His parents are going to be pissed."

I waved it off as we began to disrobe as well. "I frankly don't care. His parents don't figure into OUR future. You, me, James and our son are all that matter to me." I felt the stirring of ritual magic at my words, from the look on Sirius's face, he did as well. The intent behind the words had been accepted by the magic of the new moon and the ritual had begun. James was starting to calm in the presence of our active magiks and was slightly more coherent.

"James?" I murmured, "Can you hear me? Do you understand what is happening?"

His lips moved, but no sound came forth. He grew irritated and grabbed our hands and PUSHed his magic into us claiming Yes-Acceptance. I nodded, "Okay, we'll begin." I threw our clothing from the circle and grabbed the prearranged cleansing supplies I'd place there awhile ago.

"Sirius, place our wands on the alter in the binding symbol, then step to that point over there." I demanded and then began the cleansing of our bodies. It was a mark of how serious the situation was that he didn't leer at me. It was amusing, he was going to quite intolerable in the morning. Once I finished the cleansing, I began the opening ritual lines:

" Our wands go to the alter to be bound, by blood, magik and magic. We come to the circle for binding. We three come to YOU, free of all worldly bonds except our own. Guide us through this binding. We leave our voice outside of the circle, from this point on Magic, fate and life shall speak for us. Til awakening, so mote it be."

-\\\\-

I will not go into too many details about the actual ritual. Since my accounts will most likely go to either my sister or my child, I believe it would be unnecessary to go into explicit details; after all, no child wants to hear about their parents' sex life. The only thing you need to know about the ritual is that it completely bound James to myself and Sirius to James and through the blood magic he unknowingly did as a first year; he bound himself to me as well. However, I had complete control of the bond between myself and him, as well as the bond between James and Sirius. I could break the bond in a second if I so desired, but it would have mind altering consequences as well as magical. The bond between James and I was a permanent life bond. One of us would have to die before it could be broken.

My son, you were not conceived that night, but that was the night your fathers and I were married under all laws of magic and magik. It was a heady feeling and we loved it. The night was intoxicating and I hope that one of these days, you may feel that same intensity with your future mate(s).

With the ritual, we were able to bring James' magik under control. Not only that, but all three of us received one hell of a magical boost. Our magiks were intertwining around each other. There was an awareness of one another the following morning upon awaking. It was odd. I did not tell them about my control that I had over the bonds, but they knew something wasn't quite right, but didn't question it. They knew that they would not get answers. Overnight they went from useful knights to my boys and I would do anything to protect them.

-\\\\-

Waking back up was a chore. We were naked, covered in dirt, sweet, blood and the aftermath of sex. Waving my hand, almost nonchalantly, I cast a half dozen cleaning charms as James gathered our clothing. It was the quick and dirty way to do that, but it would do until we could cleanse ourselves with water.

"Urg," was Sirius' response to the sun peaking over the horizon. I blamed the aftermath ritual high on my response. I'm embarrassed to think of it, but I giggled like a small child. Something I can't even remember doing as a small child. James looked down at the both of us in fond amusement. He looked much better this morning and I took a moment to appreciate his form.

He laughed and held his hands out for us, "Come on, my parents will be getting here soon, if they aren't already and I imagine that Minnie is pulling her hair out trying to find three errant students."

I waved his hand a way and sat up, "Nah, I'll just blame you for kidnapping me."

Sirius took James' hand and hmmphed at my reply, "Sad thing is, she'd believe whatever would came out of your mouth over anything either of us would say."

James smirked, "Even after you stabbed her in the back." I raised a brow at that and he elaborated, "You could turn that charm on and have her or anyone else eating out of the palm of your hand. That's what I love about you m'dear." He said as he looked at me fondly. Sirius just groaned and shut his eyes.

I smirked at their antics and let it go. They were right, though I would love to see the look on Minerva's face if James or Sirius ever called her 'Minnie'. She would eviscerate them.

James went over to the pile of clothes and tossed them at us. I stood up the rest of the way and slipped my clothes back on as my boys did the same.

Once we were more or less presentable we started back to the castle. Stumbling along the beaten path, (I didn't want to risk transporting us back into the castle, not in the condition we were in after the ritual), we were like drunken fools. We were drunk on magic and success. Sirius had James as he'd wanted since before 1st year, James would survive the curse of the Potter Magik and I had the true beginnings of the future I wanted for my son. There were still some tweaks that would have to be done, but the future was becoming much clearer and less divergent.

The wards of Hogwarts vibrated with our arrival. The excess ritual magic was bleed from us and the castle used it to heal the cracks James had caused from his loss of control. I did not feel the Headmaster within the castle yet (he'd been away for the last two days, the only reason we'd gone under the radar to be able to perform such a ritual), so we were going to dodge that bullet, but I did feel the magic of James parents and the wards warned me that they were very angry.

I sent a tendril of magic to the castle to let her know I understood and would take care of it. She caressed me back and it was like the soothing hand of a loving mother. It was oddly appreciated. I felt a stronger connection to Hogwarts in that moment than I did to my own mother. I would have to look into that later.

I was about to warn James about the impending situation, but it turns out that it was needless as a tall regal looking woman came marching down the hall, with a no nonsense attitude. "Mother?"

She was angry, but concerned as she grabbed James on the forearm, "James, it's time to come home we shall control the fluctuations until we find your anchor." Dorea Potter proclaimed as she attempted to drag her son down the hall. My eyes flicked to Charlus. He was the silent power, Dorea was the commander. He looked like he was about to say something to stop his wife, his eyes met mind and he did the oddest thing, he nodded his approval and then just smiled as he ushered his wife into an empty classroom.

Ironically it was the same room that we'd been in last night. Small wisps of chaotic magic were still in the air, but the damage had been healed and it no longer had me wanting to strip my clothing off.

"Mother, I'm fine now." At the exasperation in his voice, I turned my attention away from the lingering magic and cocked my head toward mother and son.

"No you are most certainly not! You absolutely reek of Black and Potter magiks and magic. There is also a hint of something spicy and chaotic. That scent is dangerous and it's not good. I'm glad you seem to have it under control for now, but if what Sirius said in his letter was true, then you don't have much time left."

I was amused at the altercation and for the moment would let the boys handle it. I was trying to assess James' father, he was fascinating. He too was standing back and just watching. I had the strong feeling he knew that his son was fine now, though I think he was trying to determine if it were I or Sirius who had been the anchor, or maybe he already knew?

"Mother, I am fine. Last night was bad, but we handled it."

She looked confused and then turned to look at Sirius and I. She gave me a cold dismissive glare that had me wanting to punch her and then gave Sirius a look that I didn't even want to attempt to decipher. Being dismissed in such a matter didn't make me too happy and since the excess ritual magic had been bled off by the castle, I had lost my happy high and was getting pissy at the bint who deigned to dismiss me.

"Excuse me." I opted to be polite for the moment. I was trying to get her attention turned to me so that I could calmly and rationally explain some pertinent information. However, I was ignored and my temper flared.

"James, it's time to go. I can send for Sirius later. That girl will have to stay. We have no use for her." She didn't, oh she did. Oh she was going to die a very painful death. My magic started to unravel from the haphazard bonds I'd put around it when I'd woken from the ritual.

Sirius, in a moment of brilliance, tried to salvage the situation. "Ma'am, Mrs. Potter, if you would…"

"Sirius, please don't interrupt me. This little trollup shouldn't even be here. This is a family matter and the mud-blood doesn't belong here."

I saw his eyes widen, I saw James smirk as the spicy scent around him became a burning cinnamon smell and the air thickened so much that I could see their eyes water a bit. I had tried and that wasn't something I did often-if at all, for the sake of our very new relationship, to be polite, but the bint just had to open her mouth. "After all, the mundane can't understand the problem of…"

I grabbed her forearm at the same time Sirius restrained my wand arm. James took a step back and leaned against a desk to watch the show. James had a much darker side than I had first thought…it had several enlightening prospects.

My magic burned through me and I was rather impressed with my restraint. She should have been a smoldering pile of ash on the ground right now. I would just have to be satisfied with the intensely painful magical burns she would suffer. The bonding seemed to have had a positive effect on my own magic as I was able to restrain the desire to obliterate the bitch for a few moments. It helped that Sirius was trying to restrain some of my family magik with his own, he was failing but it was amusing.

"Listen, you Bitch, you have no idea what has happened and you have no inkling of what I am. I suggest that you shut the fuck up before I reduce you to nothing more than cinders, and actually listen to your son. Next time you interrupt, I won't allow Sirius to stop me." I didn't tell her that I didn't need my wand to destroy her. I would let her have her delusions. I let her arm go and James walked up behind me and I allowed him to wrap his arms around me in a show of possession.

He kissed the top my head as the Bitch stared at me in a state of stunned disbelief.

"Why I never…" Mr. Potter walked up behind his wife and murmured, "Luv, I do believe it's time to listen. I believe these kids have found a solution to the problem, as unorthodox as it appears to be."

I leaned against James as I closed my eyes. Hogwarts was trying to get my attention and James and Sirius could explain well enough to satisfy the new in-laws.

-\\\\-

As inopportune of a moment as it was, the old girl was trying to teach me some control exercises. Somehow she had gained a liking to me and didn't like the fact that my temper was so homicidally short. Her way of explaining it was that she didn't mind the death, it was the blood. Blood didn't like to come out of stone. I still laugh every time I think about it.

I once tried to tell my sister about Hogwarts and her attitude, but she didn't really understand what I was trying to explain to her or maybe she did. I just remember that she would laugh, grab me and pull me down to her lap and rest her chin on the crown of my head. She was amused by it all and would tell me that I'd been doomed from the start. Maybe she was right, but I was past the point of really caring.

I'd tried to explain to her that having a conversation with Hogwarts wasn't like conversing with a human; she was sentient in a different fashion. She didn't really understand words, but she could communicate in bursts of emotions and colors.

Hogwarts filled the role of mother that my own was never really able to fill. She became my filter. Within her walls I was able to use the ambient magic to center my visions and everything became that much clearer. Flitwick still taught me, though he warned me that his mentoring of me was coming to a quick end. I was immersing myself in magics that not even the ancients had messed with. I had given him my understanding of the matter and that was that.

-\\\\-Part 4

The summer following my magical bonding to James and by proxy Sirius, I went to my parents' home and packed some odds and ends that I wanted to take with me. It wasn't much, just some old books that Midra had given me and a ring my sister had given to me for my 10th birthday. I didn't take it with me to Hogwarts as I didn't want it stolen. It was a symbol of the connection that I had with my sister and that was precious. It reminded me that no matter how far I immersed myself into the chaotic magiks, I still had her by my side.

I cared not for the few items that my mother and father had bought me over the years. Everything else was replaceable. In fact, I would have avoided the eventual confrontation completely, except that it would place my sister exactly where I wanted her to be. I needed her to be closer to me and the only way that would happen is if she was out of our parents' house.

To say that my parents were unhappy about my bonding would have been a major understatement. They really lost it when I had tried to explain that even though we called it a bonding, it was basically a marriage. They couldn't understand that their 16 year old daughter had been able to get married without their permission. It caused a major argument between Petunia and them to break out. She didn't really understand either, but she was my most fierce defender. The fight ultimately ended with me getting kicked out of my childhood home and my sister being told that she could stay or follow me. I wasn't surprised when she followed me out the door, but I was inordinately pleased.

-\\\\-

Carrying my bag over my shoulder, I murmured to Petunia, "You shouldn't have done that."

Petunia scoffed, "Honestly you should have known better by now. I told you once, that I would follow you until the end of time. That hasn't changed and it never will." She sighed, "They'll take a couple of weeks to get used to the idea of their little girl being married to someone they don't really know, but they'll get over it."

I sighed, "They won't, but I appreciate you trying to make me feel better." I didn't need it, but the effort was noticed.

She laughed, "I'm trying to make myself feel better; my little sister just got me kicked out of my own home. Honestly if it weren't for how much I love you, I would punch you right now, but even though I don't understand why you did it, I'll support you. Hell you know I'll support you with whatever you need me to, you didn't have to go to such drastic measures to piss them off."

I rolled my eyes, "You'll stay with us."

"I thought you were staying with James's parents."

I shrugged, "We are, but that will change in a couple days. The Bitch is getting on my nerves and Mr. Potter is going to give us the manor in Godric's Hollow. I'll call for you then." It was a mark of her acceptance of my ability that she didn't question the oddness of my statement. I knew all of it as I'd seen it before and the time was almost right, granted I was going to help push it along, but that was another matter entirely. I really hated the Bitch. "You have enough money to stay in an inn for a couple of days?"

She nodded and sighed, "Yeah, I'll figure something out. Give me a call if you need something. I've homework I've got to turn in tonight."

I gave an affirmative nod and she walked to the bus station. I waited until she boarded and I shifted to where I could feel the bonds I had with James and Sirius. I ended up appearing in their room watching in amusement as they were getting carried away in their passion for each other. I shuffled to the nearest wall and knocked on it. They saw me and attempted to cover their unclothed state.

I rolled my eyes, "Honestly, it's not like I don't know that you guys haven't been banging each other since 4th year. Besides its nothing I haven't seen already."

James laughed and walked over to me in his half clothed state. "You luv are the most perfect women in the world." He said as he kissed me, his magic caressing me. It was tantalizing and I responded back, Sirius was sitting on the edge of the bed eyes closed in frustration. I laughed at his predicament. "Go jump in the lake, it'll take care of your problem."

"You're a selfish bitch." I raised a brow at him and he amended the statement, "You're a selfish bitch who lets me fuck her husband when she's not around, but she is still an evil manipulative witch."

I smiled, "Thanks." I turned back to James, "I've got some research to finish before dinner. You boys get dressed." I sent them a coy smile, "Or not, but if the Bitch and Mr. Potter catch you, I don't want to hear it."

-\\\\-

Staying in the Potter ancestral home was a tense filled experience. James' mother hated me, but doted on Sirius as if he were her own child. Mr. Potter took it all in stride. I think he just wanted to see what I was made of. He approved of the Black Magik, but he knew nothing about me, just knew that his son appeared to love me and I was bonded to him. He knew I was chaos and Sirius was the temperance, which really fucked up, because Sirius was as chaotic as I was-his magik and magic just hid it better than mine. James just didn't care, he loved me, his magic adored me and his magik wanted to possess me, but accepted that I was the stronger of the three, which is why he was able to control the Potter darkness the way he was. He loved Sirius probably as much if not more than I, but whereas he would die for Sirius, he would kill for me and that made all the difference.

The tense atmosphere within the Potter household was exasperated by the rules the Bitch enforced. She really didn't have many. We had to sleep in separate rooms; I was not allowed to stay within James' presence more than necessary and the one rule the three of us had to follow: we were not allowed to sleep together/fornicate while we lived under their roof. I was fine with that, but James and Sirius had a harder time with it.

I really didn't have much of problem with Dorea, if she had left things alone, I would have left well enough alone, but she continuously pushed and finally it became too much. That night at dinner wasn't any different. It started innocuously enough and it would have been fine if she hadn't start insulting my family. I could have accepted barbs about my parents, but she just had to insult my sister by saying she would end up as nothing more than a worthless harlot. I saw red and wanted to feel her blood on my hands.

James saved his mother's life that night. I had stood up from my chair; the scent of chaotic magik was heavy in the air, it'd been their only warning. James felt it as did Sirius, James went for his mother and Sirius went for me. The raw magic missed the Bitch by less than an inch. Sirius dragged me out of the room. By being blood bond the way we were, he was able to wrap his Black family magik around me to calm me down. It worked enough to allow me to gather my thoughts. It did not slip my notice that Mr. Potter just stood there. He watched and I wanted to know why.

-\\\\-

"If you value your life, I suggest you let go of me."

"No can do Lils, If I do I have the feeling that you'll kill Mrs. Potter and that would draw unnecessary attention to you."

"Oh, I'm not going to kill her, I'm going to make her wish she was dead. There is a difference."

"Think of what James would want."

I snorted, "I think James is smitten enough with me, that he could care less what I did to his mother right now." We could both hear the argument coming from the house. Somehow Sirius had managed to drag me from the house even with me struggling against him. He was much stronger than his lithe frame showed, that or he'd been determined to keep me from killing the Bitch.

I relaxed myself so that Sirius would loosen his grip, instead he tightened it and I growled, "Honestly if you can be calm for a few minutes I'll let you shift us to the bedroom." I stilled, sometimes I forgot how smart Sirius actually was.

"How'd you figure out my plan?"

He snorted, "It wasn't hard once I figured out the end goal and I've known Mr. Potter was going to give James the Hollow house for awhile now, I figured that you would know when and plan accordingly, though I don't think and stop me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that killing Mrs. Potter fit into those plans."

"It could be arranged." I muttered. I still would be quite happy to spill her blood.

"I assume from your earlier reaction that your sister is probably going to coming to live with us?"

I nodded, "For awhile. She may not be a witch, but she has enough innate magic to be able to see things that regular muggles can't. It's the curse on my family."

"You'll have to explain that one day."

"I really don't and you can let me go now, I promise not to kill or maim Dorea at the moment."

He sighed, "Fine." He released me and I shook off the black magik that had wrapped itself around me. I stood away from him and he tensed but relaxed when I showed no indication of running back to the house.

I was pondering the fact that Mr. Potter had just stood there. I wondered what his game was, what was he trying to achieve? He'd married a Black, he'd fathered a son who was darker than any Potter heir had ever been, allowed the scion of a powerful and known dark arts champion family to seek shelter from the Blacks within his family-regardless of the damage it could do to his family's reputation and he'd been my silent supporter against his wife of more years than I cared to count. I wanted to know his game and I would, just not today. I had other things to put into play right now.

-\\\\-Part 5

That night, I decided to put my plan into effect. I was tired of the Bitch and I didn't feel like playing the mind games that Mr. Potter seemed to want to play. He was up to something and I wasn't entirely sure what it was. He was a void to my sight. It hasn't been like that until recently and I didn't like it. I would have to contact Midra over it and she was the last person I wanted to talk too. She was my paternal grandmother but I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her for very long. I usually wanted to kill her. Our cursed gifts clashed too much to ever feel comfortable in each other's presence. I would have to revisit the problem of Mr. Potter, but now I had other things to contend with.

-\\\\-

When night fell, I put my plan into action. I snuck into James' room and was pleased to see Sirius already in bed. I slipped through the room and forcefully pushed James over.

"Lils?" James whispered, half asleep.

"Move over." I hissed.

"What are you planning?"

"Please, like you don't already know."

"I really don't, but I'm sure it'll be beneficial to us in some way." He muttered and pushed Sirius over so I could climb in. Sirius grunted but didn't wake. That boy could sleep through an earthquake, hell he'd slept through an explosion in potions; that had melted half the dungeon.

I settled next to James as he fell back asleep. I smiled, it wouldn't be long now before we would be discovered by the Bitch and things would be able to move along more quickly. In fact, as long as everything was timed just right, we'd be in Godric's hollow by the morning.

-\\\\-

Everything went according to plan, the explosion of fiery tempers was a beautiful sight to behold and all I could do was laugh. James glared at me and I smiled in contentment as I went outside. Sirius soon followed as did Mr. Potter and James. Dorea stayed in the house.

Mr. Potter gave me an odd look and I just stared back at him daring him to say what was on his mind, he didn't. We would have to talk one of these days. Mr. Potter sighed and turned back to James, told him that the house in Godric's Hollow was his and to please make sure that he and only he comes by the house in a couple of days to speak with his mother.

After Mr. Potter went back inside, the boys turned to me and I just raised a brow. Honestly what did they expect, they knew I couldn't stand her and if I'd been under her roof any longer, blood would have been spilt and it wouldn't have been mine.

James just shook his head at me and told me that I should be a little nicer to his mother in the future. I told him to bugger off and I won't repeat what he said back to me.

My son, our days were numbered and both James and I knew it. I'm not sure how he kept it from Sirius, but he did. He didn't want Sirius to do anything stupid and I agreed. You would need him in the future, though he would need you more in the end than you would ever need him.

-\\\\-

I picked up my sister from the Hotel that morning. She was already packed and waiting. She smiled and waved in greeting and I nodded back to her. I picked up her overnight bag and settled her bill at the front desk.

"Heya, I'm guessing everything worked out?"

"Hmmm, yes, much better than I had seen. You have everything? Need to go back to our parent's house?"

She shook her head, "I think it would be best for now, not to stoke any embers that may still be glowing. Ma has a worse temper than you and I think it would be better to keep my distance. I was never the favorite." She said with a bitter undertone.

I looked at her sharply, "You're my favorite and that is all that matters." She tried to smile, but it fell short. I'd done my best to make sure she had felt wanted in her own house, but it looks like my lack of humanity hadn't done her any favors.

"I'm sorry." I murmured as I slid my hand into hers as I had once done as a small child.

She smiled a true smile, "Thank you, but I know you better than that. You don't know how to be sorry, but I appreciate the effort. Sometimes you surprise me." She murmured as she pulled me closer. I let her hug me for a moment before I shifted.

I was impressed; she took the surge of magic better than Sirius had the first time I shifted without using normal magic. He had doubled over and thrown up. James hadn't been much better. Petunia paled, but she was steady. I smiled and nodded and turned to our new home. I keyed her into the words with her blood and ushered her end. Sirius and James were at the table and for the first time in my life I felt like I was home.

-\\\\ -

It truly was the most peaceful summer that we had experienced to date. People may have been dying mysteriously. Whispers of outright war were beginning to stir, but we were at peace.

The thing that the rest of the world didn't know was that War was already here. It was only being temporarily delayed by the forces that the old Fool had been putting together. That and the Dark Lord wasn't really ready to come out of the dark so to speak. He was taking his time. It was a slow rise to power, but he was actually building his forces faster than any of his predecessors had. The Old Fool wasn't able to keep up, the other problem was, The Dark Lord had a 20 year head start over the Old Fool and the ministry was blind to the manipulations that were surrounding it.

The old Fool knew that things were going to get bad and so he started up the Order of the Phoenix. He'd wanted the Potters to join, but Dorea and Mr. Potter made it very clear they weren't interested. James was too young at the time and was ignored, which suited us just fine. The longer the old fool ignored us, the better off we would be. I held no respect for him as a person, but I respected the power he was able to wield.

I did my final ritual that July. I could no longer be classified as a witch. I was a creature of magik fully and truly. When Hogwarts started up, I knew that Flitwick would not be willing to teach me any longer. I hadn't truly killed anyone yet, but it was only a matter of time before the war was brought to our door steps.

-\\\\\-Part 6

The end of summer brought the beginning of our seventh and final year at Hogwarts. It was the beginning of the end for us, though oddly enough-James and I were okay with that. We were safe in the knowledge that those we loved would be safe after our passing. It would not be easy, but they would live and at the moment that was all that mattered.

We kept Sirius in the dark as he wouldn't understand the mind-set that we'd developed over it. He'd do his best to stop it and that would ruin too many of our plans. Over the time we'd spent together I'd developed a fondness for the fool and James loved him, so even though my son was my first priority, I would make sure Sirius would be fine too.

There is so much that happened in our 7th year. Most of it would bore you, my darling boy, but there were two events that occurred during our last year of school, you must know about.

The first event was the power and chaos behind your conception. The second was when I knew that my power would destroy me, but if all goes well. Everything will be worth it.

-\\\\-

It was All Hallows Eve, when everything began to fall into place. Sad thing was, with all the manipulating I'd done over the years, I didn't even realize it when it all began.

-\\\\-

The common room was mostly empty; most of the house had gone down to the feast. I'd been hoping that Sirius had already vacated the common room so I wouldn't have to confront his ass so soon after our latest argument.

We hadn't agreed on the way James was acting lately. He was short tempered and snapping at people. In DADA he'd almost lost control when dueling the professor. I personally didn't have a problem with the attitude, I liked it when he was wilder and Sirius did too, but Sirius was worried that he would completely lose control and kill someone. I just didn't care about something so mundane; I usually left things like that to Sirius. James was always more interesting when he lost control. I'd pointed it out, and we argued. It started to turn physical so James had picked me up and thrown me in my bed and then left-I assumed to calm Sirius down in another way.

I was still thrumming with anger as I walked downstairs a couple of hours later and it didn't make it any better when I saw his smug ass sitting in a lounging chair. In my slightly vengeful state of mind, I decided to play.

-\\\-

After pausing when I caught sight of the current bane of my existence, I changed my walk into that of a temptress and glided to where he was sitting. I knew he sensed me, but he kept his eyes closed. An unwise moved on his part.

So in a bold move I sat on top of him and wrapped my magik around him, twining it around his Black magik. He gasped at the unexpected sensation. It was sensual and dark. "What the hell are you doing?" He muttered angrily even as he tensed from the unexpected pleasure.

"Teaching you a lesson," I murmured close to his ear as if I were a lover, even as I weaved a glamour mixed ward to make people want to leave the room. I didn't feel like having witnesses to what I planned to do.

"Lily," he bit out as his eyes started to fill with lust. "This isn't fair and you know it."

"Hmmm, I know no such thing. I told you not to piss me off." I said I ran my fingers through his hair, a move I know he enjoyed as I'd seen James doing it numerous times.

"You know I was right."

The sensations were starting to bleed back to me, but I was far more in control than I had expected. "Not in the sense you believe you were. James needs to lose control, if he shows too much of a docile air than he becomes cannon fodder to the old man and I wish to keep us out of his game for as long as possible. The Potters have always been a wild card and that needs to stay true for as long as possible." I would not have my plans be unraveled by an old man who thought he saw everything but saw nothing at all and I wanted to make sure that Sirius understood that. Though my method may have not been fair, it was the only one I knew that would work on him. Blacks were sexual creatures by nature and Sirius was no different.

By teasing him in such a way, I was guaranteeing that he would listen to what I had to say. I hadn't expected my next move and the consequences of said action.

I boldly moved in to kiss him and was surprised to feel him kissing me back. James had been right; he was a damn good kisser. I was just getting into it when my head was yanked back by my long red hair and another mouth joined in. James wrapped my hair around his hand as he kissed me even deeper than I'd been kissing Sirius. He tightened his hold on my hair and my magik responded.

He stopped kissing me to whisper, "I think I'm going to take advantage of whatever has gotten into you and you're going to release Sirius and then the three of us are going to miss the feast." I nodded in compliance with a dazed look in my eyes and he picked me up off of Sirius, grabbed his hand and in a move that only I usually used moved us to my bedroom.

-\\\\-

That was the night you were conceived. Your father had been right. Something unusual had gotten into me that night. My initiation in the darker magiks had been completed without my knowledge and it would lead to the birth of a new age- One that no one had been expecting. Even the old fool up in the tower that had no idea how many of his plans would start to crumble in just two months time.

The next event of importance started two months after the first. I don't entirely remember everything that happened that day, but I've been able to piece most of it together from what your fathers have told me. But it was the last move on the board that would allow the so called Dark Lord to truly be put into check. Even if it would take a few more years before checkmate could be called.

-\\\\-

It was a Monday and I had woken up with a headache. I was bitchy and irritable, but according to James and Sirius that wasn't unusual for me early in the morning, especially after having one of my visions, so they hadn't been bothered by it. They knew to stay out of my way when I acted as such.

During the day, my memory gets fuzzier, but I do remember that I was unusually blunt to those around me and I was very cold towards Severus. He'd pissed me off for the last time and for some reason that day I wanted to get even.

The vision I'd had the night before, had been about him and he'd finally betrayed me in the way that I'd seen all along, I just hadn't expected it to be so soon. What I didn't know at the time, was the vision wasn't of a past betrayal, but one to come and for some reason I wasn't able to see that at the time.

If you didn't know by now, Severus was the one that had your death warrant signed before you were even born. I was beyond pissed and I became a little more than slightly homicidal toward the fool who dared spurn my generosity by betraying my family.

I attacked him. It was midday and most people were in the Great Hall having their lunch, but he had always liked to eat outside. So like the wolf tracking the rabbit, I hunted down my prey and I pounced. The next thing I remember was James holding me back as Sirius tried to get my attention. Severus was on the ground bleeding from his ears in a fetal position.

-\\\\-

"Shit, Lily come on, come back to us, you're not seeing things in the present right now. Something is not right and you need to snap out of it." I was hearing the words, but they were beyond my comprehension. I was in such a state, that words would not reach me, but I was suddenly snapped out of my blinding rage by a forceful punch in the jaw.

"What the fuck was that for?" I snapped at Sirius, my green eyes alighting with my power. He stepped back, but didn't back down.

"Look." And I did. Around me were a crowd of students who were too stunned to do anything. No professors in sight and Severus on the ground close to death. I frowned and tried to remember what had happened, it was a blur of indecipherable information. I waved my hand and froze the area around me with in a pocket of time. With a flick I erased the memories of the surrounding students and replaced them with a vague command to remember something else, their own minds would fill in something. I wanted to leave the traitor there, but knew he would have to survive. I did not erase his memories; I wanted him to fear me and I wanted him to remember my wrath.

I healed him with a wave of my hand, but left the black eye. I didn't want him to forget my lesson anytime soon.

I turned to James and motioned for Sirius to come closer, "Come on, I need you both so I can go see Midra. Something is happening and it shouldn't be.

They nodded and stepped closer so that I could wrap their magiks around mine and I shifted us to where I could feel my blood bond to Midra.

Arriving, I was rather horrified at the sight in front of me. A pale thin woman was lying in bed, surrounded by muggle life support equipment; my father was in the room. "What the fuck?" I murmured.

Ignoring the man who would have raised me to be a happy child in another life, I went to her bedside. "Midra, you better have a good explanation as to what the fuck is going on."

"Lily!" my father hissed, horrified at my language and attitude. James put a barrier around Midra and I so that no one could interrupt us. I could feel his fury and I used it to feed my darker chaos magik.

I pushed a tendril of chaos magik into her so that she would wake from the coma that she appeared to be in. It was possible that it would kill her, but I could frankly care less. My cursed gift was getting stronger and more uncontrollable and that was not acceptable, hell it wasn't supposed to be possible.

Her eyes opened and she looked at me, ignoring her startled son. "What have you done?" she rasped.

"What makes you think I have done anything you bloody bint? My power has gone crazy and the only thing that is making sense is that it's you that is causing the havoc. I was trapped in a vision, hell right now could be a vision and I have no idea what it going on. My past, present and future are converging together and I can't separate them. My power is growing and that shouldn't be possible, you told me that would be impossible. Explain."

She coughed up blood and I impatiently helped her wipe it away. Her lungs were filled with disease. I used both my magik and a couple of stasis spells I knew to push it back so that she could answer my questions. "The cancer has spread to my bones, I'm dying and I can no longer hold back the portion of my gift that will fall to you once I die."

"You said that it would die with you, that it could no longer be passed on. You told be my gift was an abomination and that the curse was warped but would no longer be carried on through the blood line."

She laughed weakly, "I lied; I had no choice. You were so young, but already so strong and so very lost; I had to tell you something that would prevent the despair from consuming you." She coughed again. Her time was running out and I needed more information.

"What are you talking about?" I hissed in confused anger.

"I see you; you are so strong and so very lost. The power that you have is going to triple; you will become blind to the present if you cannot learn control and patience. You are chaos and balance and a terrible force that should never have been created. Your son will be so much more than you ever dreamed and so much stronger than you can possibly comprehend. Right now, my power is merging with yours, but your son's core has already started to develop. When it's able to hold the gift, the gift will be your son's. The family that you are making for yourself is only going to make you stronger, but they are your greatest weakness and that is going to be your downfall. You are not going to survive."

I laughed bitterly, "You aren't telling me anything that I don't already know. Do honestly think that everything I've done is for my survival? No, my son is all that matters to me. All that has ever mattered to me. Everything I am doing, I am doing for his survival. I've known since you walked into my parents home that I was already damned."

She sighed, I could feel her drawing further away and I tried to grab on to her fading consciousness, but it was feeble and weak. "You don't understand. There are going to be things that you cannot control, cannot stop and if you try to, you will be knocked on your ass."

She turned to my husband, "She loves you in her own way; she just cannot show you like she would have been able to. You are her balance, just as she is your anchor and you (she turned to Sirius) are the glue that holds them both together. I give you this one warning-A time of peace will be followed by a time of chaos and fury. Betrayal will come from all sides. Darkness brews and will destroy you as it saves you…the green eyed child will die…"

Time converged and the room warped. I was suddenly standing next to her bed attempting to speak to her, my father rising in anger and then alarms blaring and the hospital staff pushing me out of the way. My boys grabbed me as I was seemingly rooted in space. She was gone…the women I had both hated and respected with all my being was gone. I looked at my father. He looked about to say something, but when he looked into my eyes, he stopped and took a step back. I shook the shock off and I grabbed my boys and without even attempting to disguise our departure, I left.

Arriving in the glade that had been where our binding had been, I kneeled to the ground and screamed. I was trying to release the excess power. I wasn't even entirely sure if that conversation had even taken place. My whole being was disrupted, but I knew that I had to release the excess of Midra's power or the combined power could kill my child. I hadn't realized until that moment that I was pregnant, but know that I was aware of it, I could feel his sentience. He was already aware of the world around him.

Our powers were merging making each other stronger and weaker, had I been a normal witch I would be dead in that moment, but I wasn't and I hadn't been one in a long time. My child was the heir of the Potter line, the Black line, but most importantly our child was an Evans.

-\\\\-Part 7

After the initial expulsion of power, I slipped into a coma for three days so our power could adjust. During that time, I was unresponsive to the outside world and no one could wake me, which made James and Sirius frantic as they didn't understand what was happening. The headmaster at the urging of the board had to call my sister. My parents refused to have anything to do with me, but my sister was there within minutes of being informed of my condition. She made them pull her through the floo and proceeded to push her way to the hospital wing. I can remember her power sliding beneath my skin and that gave me a focus to hold onto.

My sister became my lifeline and I used her up with no remorse. I used the love she felt for me to anchor myself to this world for a little longer. In another age, it would have been a crime against humanity-had Flitwick been able to stop me he would have killed me for my crime-but I was too far outside his sphere of influence and power and I honestly didn't care. Even now as I look back on all of the things that I have done, I don't regret a single moment as I know you will be all the stronger for that.

-\\\\-

I came too in the presence of my sister. She was pale, and looked like she hadn't eaten in about a month. Her face was far too thin. James and Sirius were on my other side. James had his head over my stomach, fast asleep and Sirius was staring at me with an unrecognizable look. I didn't even try to decipher it.

"What happened?" My throat was raspy from disuse.

Sirius sighed and reported, "After the incident with Snape, you took us to a hospital. We were there for a minute, maybe less. You looked at the women who was connected to life support and got angry. I think you tried to wake her up, but the next thing we knew, alarms were blaring and you transported us back to the glade. You screamed in pain and released a shit load of magic. Then you passed out and we started to panic. James picked you up and then we ran back to the hospital wing. Poppy did her best to get you stable. I left briefly to go get your sister. I think the headmaster tried to get in touch with your parents but they haven't showed up. You've been in a coma for three days."

Petunia filled in a couple of other gaps. "After I got here, I went straight to you and grabbed your hand. You immediately started to regain some color. I haven't let go in three days."

I looked down and sure enough, my hand was grasped within hers. I could feel the energy I was taking from her. I gave her back some and gently pried my hand away. "Thank you. You saved our lives."

James woke and kissed me as Petunia and Sirius stared at me. Quickly losing any form of restraint-I snapped, "What?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "Our?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm pregnant. It's why I lost control the way I did and why I've been in a coma. We've had to regain our equilibrium. But everything is alright now."

We turned quickly as we heard a thud. James had fainted from the impromptu news. It startled a laugh out of me, something that made my sister smile. She hadn't heard me laugh in several years. I was glad to see that she could still smile. And I knew she was pleased that I could still laugh on occasion.

"Sirius wake James up. We have some things that we need to discuss." My sister got up as if to leave and I grabbed her hand. "No I need you to stay. This is going to concern you as well." She furrowed her brow but nodded and sat back down. Sirius managed to bring James around and proceeded to guide James to a chair and instead of finding his own chair-sat down on top of him. James looked a little dazed and didn't even blink when Sirius sat on him. He'd get over it soon enough.

I shrugged and in a move that felt almost effortless (even though I'd been unconscious for three days)-waved my left hand to put up a simple deflecting ward. It would ensure that no one would overhear us and no one would notice I was awake for awhile longer.

I began, "In that hospital room there were several things that happened that you weren't privy too. Hell most of it is a bit of a blur, but there are a couple of things I need to tell you. Midra made a prophecy that should have been said aloud-but wasn't. My mind is a little too scrambled to repeat it right now-but the gist was this; Because Midra died and I was pregnant, her power which would have originally only gone to me, is going to go to our son as well. My cursed gift is going to get exponentially stronger and I won't be able to completely control it until after the pregnancy is over. Our son's power is going to be a hell of a lot stronger than we'd originally thought as well-which is going to cause several complications in the future. Petunia, I will have to talk to you about that later.

"This pregnancy is going to be a bitch, but it won't kill either one of us. I've already seen to that. The biggest problem is going to be how long we can keep it from everyone. I don't want that fool in the tower to know too soon." I sighed, I could sense their questions but they'd known me long enough by now to just let me finish.

"We are going to have to have a public wedding to deter the truth of the three of us. There are certain people that cannot know about the specific bond we three share. James and I can get married right after finals. By then I will be showing and it will be expected of us. Petunia, our home is still your home, but I'm going to need to you to move out into a place of your own. I don't want you to become a target and this war is going to start escalating very soon. James and Sirius, you will soon be approached by the old man when your results from the NEWTs become available.

"You'll be asked to become front line fighters and you will decline for now. I want you outside his realm of influence for at least 12 more months. After that it will be a moot point. I will be asked to be a researcher, but I too will decline. I will not join his merry band until Halloween of next year. Besides, the ideal of being in the same room with those idiots would drive me to do things that would be frowned upon.

"We have to decline for as long as possible. James you'll use your parents as an excuse and Sirius can use James as one. Mine will be very apparent in a few months time. There are still several things that are going to happen before we set this charade in motion. This war isn't going to get better; it's only going to get worse."

After my instructions no one had a chance to ask me any questions as the old fool himself was coming down the hall. I could feel the thrum of his magic rippling outward. I sighed and dispelled the ward. It was time for some damage control.

-\\\\-

It sickened me to see him in the guise of a grandfatherly old man. For a moment a vision of the future overlapped the present and I was my son lying in the hospital bed searching for answers that I knew I wasn't going to get. It pissed me off to the point that my magic flared in an unsubtle way. A fire broke out behind him as he entered the hospital wing. Sirius cursed and jumped up and James attempted to distract the old fool. It didn't really work, but it was a sweat attempt.

"I apologize; I think my magic is slightly out of control."

He nodded sagely, "Yes Professor Flitwick told me that it would be possible when he saw the condition you were in after Madame Pomphrey got you stable. You had us all very concerned."

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

"It's alright child, we just need to know what happened. Were you attacked?"

"I'm not sure, I can't remember much." It would ring true to his ears. It was hard to lie and not lie. If Midra were still alive I would kill her myself for lying to me and passing on this damn gift while I pregnant. I had not wanted my son to be burdened by such a thing. I hadn't even known it would be possible because he was male and the curse had only ever been passed down through the female lineage of the family.

"If something does come back to you please let me or Professor Flitwick know. The wards are being readjusted to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. Rest well. All of your professors have given you a slight allowance for your homework. Boys make sure you start attending classes tomorrow morning." Sirius and James nodded to him and the fool smiled and left the room.

"I'm going to kill him before the war is over." I muttered. The vision I had seen had not settled well with me and I did not appreciate the old fool trying to play puppet master with my son.

"Lils I don't think that would be the wisest idea." James murmured as he settle back next to me..

"I don't care, it would make me feel better in the long run."

Sirius laughed, "I'll help hide the body."

Petunia smiled and I grinned and James just face palmed. For the first time I realized that I cared for these people more than I would have ever thought possible. It was an awe inspiring moment. I had their loyalty and for the first time since I could remember I wanted to make sure I could keep it while keeping them alive. It was humbling. I didn't think I could still feel that way, but it was nice.

-\\\\-Part 8

I healed quickly and things slowly went back to normal. School went smoothly and James decided to take the dramatic gesture and propose marriage to me in the middle of the great hall. I wanted to kill him. I didn't say no, but it was a close call. NEWTs came and went and the ceremony was coming up faster than any of us liked, but we managed to make it through it. Graduation was a solemn affair. The war had already hit home for many of the students and several students had already been made orphans.

James parents were killed in one of the early raids. I couldn't have stopped even if I had wanted to. James wouldn't speak to me for a week when he heard the news. With the pregnancy my powers were all over the place and a lot of the time I couldn't SEE anything. At first it had made me panic, but then I realized for the first time since I was 5 years old I could feel something other than detachment and I was glad.

Sirius and I became closer during this time. My sister seemed to be happier than she's been in a lone time and I was at peace. It was an odd feeling. I knew it wouldn't last but for the first time in my life I wasn't trying to manipulate things to go my way. When I got the word that my parents died, I was inconsolable. I had all the emotional range of a five-year old child who had just lost her mummy and daddy. James finally snapped out of the funk he'd been in and tried to calm me down, but was unsuccessful.

It was Sirius who was finally able to get me to sort out the feelings that I had. He gave me something to focus on and that was anger and hate at those who had killed them. It may not have been the best plan but it worked. You were born into a world that was torn at the seams and still dying. The instant you were out of my womb, my gift came back and I remember screaming at the hundreds of futures that suddenly assaulted me and I was in pain and agony and so very angry. I couldn't stop the images, so I did what I'd been dreading for year; I chose one.

The world stood still and I saw what would happen. How everything would play out in the end. It was horrible, but so very wonderful. My son would live and that was all I cared for in the end. I should have felt bad for those who would lose their life, but I frankly didn't care anymore. Everything, absolutely everything I had done up to this point had been in the effort to make sure that my son would live to see the end of this war.

-\\\\-

We had a few peaceful months. James and Sirius started working for the order and I was finally 'convinced' to do the research that the order needed. We finally had a small 'official' wedding ceremony. The old fool was convinced it would give people hope. I wanted to punch him in the face for the farce he was creating.

He was as much to blame for this fucking war as Riddle was. Hell I actually had more respect for Riddle that I did for the old fool and that wasn't saying much. Honestly if Riddle had just been smart enough to leave me and mine alone, I would have happily let him take over the world. As I had told Flitwick once before, I did not care for the world, I only cared for what was mine to protect.

My sister moved back to our parent's place now that they were gone and watched you quite often as a child. She loved you very much. After what she did to help me when I was pregnant with you, she wasn't able to have her own children. Her fiancé left her and all she had left was you and me. She gave you all the love that she could and I tried so very hard not to come between that. She never blamed me for what happened and I think that made me feel guilty but I was never able to quite come to terms with my feelings after you were born.

Most of the research I did was in protective runic magics. We needed better wards and protections and I needed a better way to make sure that you would survive the killing curse that I kept seeing coming your way.

I may not have liked the old fool, but he did have an extensive library that I wouldn't have been able to get anywhere else.

During this time, I became 'friendly' with Alice Longbottom. After what I had done to her in school-blackmailed and betrayed her so thoroughly she frankly hated my guts and I'm fairly sure she would stab me if she thought that she could get away with it before I utterly destroyed her, but I had something she wanted and she had something I needed for you. She didn't know that I was a seer, no-one did, but she knew I wasn't what I appeared. She could feel it because she had her own familial magical gift.

There was an amulet that had been passed down for generations in her family. I didn't need the actual amulet, I wanted the key rune. So we traded. I manipulated the time line around her to make sure her son would survive, but I told her it would not ensure her own survival or her husband's. She agreed.

I told her the price would be that of her and her husband's sanity and it was possible that her son would not come into his magic completely but he would be a shield of the strongest order. Meaning that very little could actually harm him. She agreed to it all. So I did an old runic spell that required a willing blood sacrifice and an unwilling sacrifice. She never did tell her husband what she had agreed to. I got the amulet.

The amulet was worthless to me. It was the shield her son would be that was the end goal. He was the key rune. You'll need to give him back the amulet at some point my child. He's the shield to your sword. His innate magical talent is very strong and he'll be a fine general for your armies one day. You'll find the amulet in the family vaults.

\\\\\

It was the night of your first birthday that everything was finalized. The false prophet made her false prophecy and our fate was sealed.

It wouldn't have been a problem, if not for the fact there was raid that night and your fathers decided to go and have some fun.

I wanted to kill them. I probably would have if it hadn't been for the fact that I loved them so damn much.

-\\\\-

The night was cool and sharp. Much colder than it was usually this time of year. The werewolf was holed up somewhere, we'd never clicked in school, (Which had been a pity because he would have been a great asset, but he was too frightened of his own damn shadow. When Harry was older, I was hoping that Remus would be of more use-I could SEE that there were a couple of possibilities that would allow him to grow into his inherent darkness, but it would be his choice in the end) and the traitor was out of my sight. Harry was sleeping peacefully when I got the vision. Sirius and James were fighting the creature that had become Voldemort. The man he had once been was gone. Nothing really remained of his humanity.

They were having too much fun and I wasn't really concerned over the vision until I heard the words 'those that had thrice defied'. Fuck.

I grabbed my son from his bed and MOVED to my sister's location. I quickly handed her my son.

"What's going on?" I was pleased to see she barely looked startled. She had begun to always expect the unexpected when it involved those that she cared for.

"My foolish husbands are going to die tonight and I'm going to be the one who does it once I save their fucking hides."

"Oh dear," Petunia murmured in Harry's ear as I prepared to leave, "Your daddies are in trouble."

A smile tugged at my lips as I heard my son giggle and then disappeared as I apparated right into the middle of the battle field. I threw silent curses left to right and smirked as I heard their screams. Idiots were attacking what was mine, I would show them. I fought my way to where Sirius and James were fighting back-to-back. The creature known as Voldemort was fighting; honestly it looked like he was toying with his prey. Said prey being what was mine. Let's even the odds a bit, shall we?

"Lily? What the hell?" James whispered harshly.

"You fucking morons, do you have any idea what you've done?" I muttered at I gritted my teeth in annoyance and anger. Sirius paled slightly at my tone. Usually he'd be running in the other direction at that tone.

I rapidly fired off some of the darker curses I knew and hit Voldemort a couple of times. Time seemed to stand still in that instant and I felt the prophecy come to life in that single moment of time. All three of us had hit him at the same moment. Full-filling the first requirement, "Fucking hell," I muttered at he turned towards us. He flicked the order members away he'd been toying with and turned his full attention to the three of us.

His eyes weren't human. Hell if Flitwick thought I had no humanity; he really needed to change his opinion. If I wasn't human, I didn't even want to think about what Voldemort was.

"Fuck," Sirius muttered. I didn't wait for him to fully acknowledge us. I threw out as many curses as I could while I gathered my power to MOVE the three of us back to the safety of my wards.

A couple of them hit, he threw a silent curse towards us and I didn't wait for my power to fully gather. I had no intention to find out what that curse was. We disappeared from sight and I actually saw a befuddled look on his face that was quickly replaced by anger.

The next moment I ripped through the wards of our house and landed painfully on my side. I heard James cursing and Sirius trying to keep me conscious. I saw the blood and I was out.

\\\\

The curse had been a blood boiling curse. A nasty curse that had a simple counter, but if you didn't get it in time you'd suffer a very painful death. I was lucky that Sirius actually knew the counter. I survived, but was weakened significantly. My blood wards were stronger than ever as the blood that I had spilled fueled the wards, but it came with a rather inconvenient drawback-I was physically weaker and was not gaining back the physical strength that I had had. I was bed bound for almost three months after the incident. During that time, Petunia stayed with us to help out with Harry.

Unfortunately my magic had never been stronger and it was slowly killing me. My body was getting weaker by the day as my magic was getting stronger. I always knew that it would happen eventually, now I was just hoping that I could hold it off long enough for me to survive the next few months.

Our time together was quickly drawing to a close. James knew the end was coming for us and kept it from Sirius. Sirius wasn't stupid, but there is a denial that you go through when you know that the ones you love are not going to make it.

\\\\

Not long after that fateful night. The old fool finally got his way with the Fidellus charm. I was asleep when the spell was cast and wasn't able to stop it. The only way to break the charm was to kill the caster. The caster had been the old fool and I was not allowed to kill him. That didn't mean I could make his life a living hell for the foreseeable future.

\\\\-Halloween Night

Halloween night, the one day I had been dreading for the last 14 years. The day everything would truly begin.

"Petunia, I need a favor from you."

"Anything."

"I need your blood oath that you'll take care of Harry no matter what happens. That you'll be there for him till he no longer needs you and that you'll still be there for him when his whole world shifts."

She looked at me and then looked my son whom she held within her arms. She solemnly laid the boy in the crib and walked over to my bed. I'd been laying down for the last few hours to save my strength. She held her hand out for the small silver blade I had been fiddling with. I cut my palm open and handed it to her, without hesitating she sliced her hand open and gripped mine with hers. "I swear my by blood that I shall take care of Harry James Potter, the son of my sister Lily Ann Potter-Black nee Evans, through the trials that his life shall bring him. Til death and beyond I will not waiver with my oath."

I must admit I was quite stunned as to what happened next. Magic in threads of green, red and gold wrapped around us and then moved to where my son was lying.

I smiled. "Thank you, Sister. Now I need you to leave."

She smiled sadly, kissed my forehead and told me, "I'll always love you and I forgive you."

My breath caught in my throat as she left the room. For the first time since my son's birth I wanted to cry. I shook it away and shakily got up. I could feel her leave the blood wards. As she left, I tied the wards to my son and wrapped them around his existence.

I locked down the house.

No one could get in and no one would be able to get out.

Later that night, I was watching James from his grandmother's rocking chair. He was trying to act like it was just another normal night. That everything would be fine. He had felt what I'd done to the wards and had just kissed the top of my head and told me he loved me. Ruffled our son's tuff of hair and got back to work.

Sirius was out of town that night. I'd sent him on a wild goose chase. I'd no doubt he'd figure it out but it'd be too late by then.

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This shall be my last journal entry. Time had started to crawl and I knew that it was almost time. I could feel Voldemort at the edge of the wards and I gathered up the threads that bound James, Sirius and I to each other. Sirius would feel the unraveling as soon as it happened but by then it would be too late.

I had finished the letters for Sirius and Petunia and have placed them in the back binding of this journal. My son, you have your own letter in the forefront of this journal. If you have not read it yet, then I ask you to read it now.

Know that I love you and everything I have done, has been for you."

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"Lily, he's here, take Harry and run."

END

Here ends Lily's story. Edited 8-31-2013. Drop me a line and tell me what you think. More to come soonish.

Cheers

Jack