Street of rain

How long have I been sitting here I do not know, nor do I know where I am. All I know is the rain that is pouring endlessly out the window. The roaring thunder and the flashing lightning never seem to stop. How long have I been here staring out the window I wonder. But my mind is blank. Amane, my dear sister, from the heavens can you see how much your brother is suffering? Suffering from the poison that our mother warned us about. "Ryou-san, never dream. Once you begin to dream you'll be knocking on heaven's door."

I'm dreaming now. And I can't stop. It's like the perfect drug. The scent of the rain blowing in from the window only seem to enhance it. I though that I never needed anyone. I was always fine by myself. And that is the truth because I'm always uncomfortable when other people are around me. My dear mother said it is her fault, because of her unhappiness when she was pregnant with me. I don't think so though. Because my dear mother never walked in the rain. This long road of endlessly rain she had never walked on. The coldness. The wetness. How many of you had really felt them before. My dear sister, how can you forsake me? You went to sleep, and woke up in a better place. Leaving me behind.

Cockroaches. Everywhere. I'm usually terrified of cockroaches. For some reason not tonight though. Tonight the only thing I can feel is agony. Nothing else. They're pouring in now. The cockroaches. From a small crack next to the wall I'm sitting against. Within minutes the cockroaches covered the walls. A few went into my ears. I can feel them inside my head. It tickles. I can't help myself but to chuckle.

I first met her at the 2003 Jyuban District Duelist Tournament. The only reason I went out to Jyuban was because my best friend Katsuya moved to North America with his sister Shizuka and their mother. I felt depress and forsaken, so I decided to take a trip to Jyuban and joined the tournament there. I met her at the dining section of the Jyuban Convention Center.

They say that love at first sight is impossible, because they believe want you actually feel is not love but lust. This is not true, because when I saw her turning around I know for a fact that it was love. Not lust. I wanted be with her. Something I never felt toward any female before. I just wanted to be with her. That was all I wanted. That is what I still want. I'm dreaming. Dream, the worst kind of poison.

"Hey!" she said. "You're Bakura, right?"

Her beautiful green eyes. Her angelic brown hair with a cute ponytail. Her everything. Perfect. And I thought my baby sister was the only angel that had sneaked out of the heavens.

"I'm Kino Makoto. I've heard a lot about you, Bakura-san."

I felt happy that she noticed who I was. Our first meeting was the only good memory of her. Nothing went downhill afterward. Not for her, but specifically for me. She has a boyfriend now I heard, some bastard named Shinozaki.

So much happened. All these pain and sorrow had lead me nowhere but here. Here in this abyss where I lay with cockroaches. They're all over my body now. Feeding on my soul from the outside and chewing away my mind from the inside.

The rain still pours outside. And he came. Now there is two persons in this room. I and myself. Which one will leave the room? This white room that is decorated with bloody fragments. I'm broken. I'm nothing.

I waited. And waited. She promised she'll show. I dream.

"Sorry, I was too busy."

"Lay down on the bed," he said. And I did what I was told. "Relax." And I did. I dream while two shining objects came down. It went directly into my stomach. The burning sensation. I feel the ripping of my intestines. The two blades came back out and came straight down. Now I taste iron inside my throat. The two blades strikes over and over again. He smile while my intestines jumps in and out following by his blows. I'm a bloody mess. The pain is unbearable, but I cannot scream. I dream. Dream of her green eyes. I smell my own blood and bowel wastes. Darkness descend.

I can still hear the rain.

I'm still dreaming and when I wake up tomorrow tonight I'll still be in this room. There will be more bloody fragments on the wall in this white room with rain pouring endlessly outside.

I'll still be dreaming. Dreaming of something I can never have.

Come… and walk with me… down this street of rain.

Dreaming while walking under the rain.

Dream…

I will paint her in this white room. With her fragments.