Loneliness is the Darkest Shade Blue
Percy gave a weary, half-hearted smile.
"Happy birthday, Percy!" his mom cried, also wearing a tired smile. There was nothing happy about his birthday this year.
Percy blew out the candles, the smoke creating a wisp in the air, leaving behind the waxy smell. Percy stared at the cupcake. The blue frosting seemed to taunt him, with a single, grey candle firmly in the center.
"Percy, don't just sit there, eat it!" She plucked the candle out for him. But, Percy sat there. Paul gave him an encouraging pat on the back. Percy looked to his right, where Annabeth usually sat.
He used to blow out the candles, say something goofy, and make her laugh. She'd throw her arms around him, plant a kiss on his cheek, and call him a Seaweed Brain.
Percy blinked, suppressing his tears from the memory. His mom took notice, wrapping her arms around his chest from behind. She wore a perfume that Percy recognized from his childhood. It was an ocean scent. Calming, for Percy. Gods, Percy thought.
"I didn't know it would be like this. I don't want it to feel like this." He said aloud. His mom nodded.
"I know, Honey," she said, "I know."
This was just the first year he had spent without her. Percy wondered if it would ever get better. Maybe it only got worse. He couldn't live with himself.
"I-I should have been there, Mom." His voice wavered. "It was right there. . . in my dad's domain"
"No, Percy. Stop that. You know that's your fatal flaw. There's nothing you could have done. You weren't with her."
Percy hated when someone said something logical. He did, after all, beat himself up about it. When someone he cared about got hurt, he immediately blamed himself every time. His fatal flaw was always putting those he loved before himself. And now, Annabeth. . . she wasn't just hurt. She wasn't coming back this time.
Percy picked up his cupcake, trying to avoid having to talk about his feelings. He didn't want to make anything worse.
"Thanks for the party, Mom"
She kissed his forehead.
"Anytime, Percy. I'm sorry it's just me and Paul. . ." she faltered, biting her lip.
"It's okay, Mom."
He knew why she paused. Percy hadn't seen his brother Tyson since Annabeth died. He almost took the news worse than Percy. Tyson loved Annabeth more than he loved peanut butter. And Tyson loved peanut butter. Percy's best friend, Grover, had moved across the world, trying to find other demigods, and help the Nymphs, and dryads, and other nature spirits. Percy actually hadn't seen him in years, other than the occasional Iris Message. Percy was all alone whenever he wasn't visiting his mom.
Percy finished his last bite, and scooted his chair back, scraping it across the tiled floor. He turned to face his mom, who was weeping her greying hair from her face. Percy embraced her.
"I love you, Mom. And I'm sorry for everything."
"Percy, you have nothing to apologize for!" Sally exclaimed. Percy didn't respond. In a few hours, Sally might just see why he was apologizing.
Percy stood on the top of the Empire State building. It was after hours, so nobody was there. He had tricked the guard by telling him he needed to get to Olympus, but he didn't. That's one of the last places he wanted to be. Percy stood on the rail of the observation tower, staring at the ground below.
I'm sorry, Mom.
He paused.
Gods, what am I doing?
Percy began to sob.
I don't want this. She wouldn't want this.
Suddenly, a flash of light came from his left. Startled, Percy slipped, beginning his fall towards the traffic below. A strong hand caught his wrist. Percy looked up to startling, intense, grey eyes.
"A-Annabeth?" He gasped. He blinked, his vision coming into better focus. He was staring into the face of Athena. Percy began to sob harder as the goddess pulled him back up.
"Did you really think you could commit suicide this close to Olympus without the gods taking notice?" Athena asked, seemingly staring into Percy's soul.
"I-I couldn't do it. I can't do it. I don't want to do it," Percy confessed.
"Be a man, Perseus." Athena berated. "Years ago, you turned down immortality to stay with my daughter. Is this why? To be able to throw yourself off a cliff when you get a little depressed? I convinced your father to let me talk to you. I'm sure his 'help' would simply encourage you to jump"
Percy grit his teeth. Was Athena mocking his pain?
"Tell me, Perseus. Would Annabeth want you to do this?"
Percy relaxed. He knew the answer, he just didn't want to admit it. Athena knelt down, getting in Percy's face.
"Annabeth didn't give herself up to save you just to have you end yourself. And, I understand your attachment to her. You, quite literally, went through Tartarus together." Athena shuddered. "I don't believe even Zeus himself would have been able to last in the horrendous abyss."
Thunder rumbled and Athena glared at the sky.
"And I mean it, Father. Perseus, you need to pull yourself together and start acting like the twice-decorated Savior of Olympus that my daughter knew. She would have left you in an instant if you were to mope like this around her."
Gods, Athena spoke even wiser than Annabeth. It just pained Percy more.
"I know we have had our differences in that past. I did not approve of your friendship with my daughter, but after I heard of what your deeds in Tartarus, I did. The person who would do everything to protect my daughter is proper company. She did nothing but return the favor for you. Go home, Percy, and stay strong. Remember her, don't mourn her"
She disappeared. Percy stood. That was the first time Athena had ever called him Percy. He left, making the long walk back to his house. Halfway home, he stopped and changed direction. He hailed a taxi and drove to Camp Half-Blood. The driver seemed confused that Percy wanted to be dropped off in the middle of a strawberry field at night, but he took his payment and drove off. It was late and campers were asleep, but Percy didn't care. He marched to the Athena Cabin and straight over to Annabeth's old bunk.
"What the Hades?" someone muttered. A few campers were angry until they saw that it was Percy.
"Good, gods, Percy. What are you doing here?" Malcom, Annabeth's brother asked. He rubbed sleep from his eyes.
Percy dug through Annabeth's chest, finding what he was looking for.
"I need her Shroud. We never burned it," Percy responded. "Please, just let me have it. I-I need this."
Malcom nodded. Percy rushed out, running back to his house. He wasn't sure where he found the energy to. He nailed the Shroud above his bed like a quilt, admiring the artwork. An owl was stitched in the middle, a trident in its beak. Symbolic of Athena's and Poseidon's children being at peace. He snatched up Annabeth's laptop and stayed up the rest of night, finishing Annabeth's designs. He was going to make sure she was proud of him the next time they met.