My life has gotten so Dirk Gently obsessed that it's been a constant state of staying up past midnight writing DGHDA fanfiction, I don't know what happened but I'm glad it has. This work is somewhat a companion piece to my one-shot "Get it Right" because it deals with the same time period/angst, but on Todd's end. Hope you like it and that I'm doing these characters justice!
Sitting on the still beat-up couch from the aftermath of the Rowdy 3 attack, Todd Brotzman held his head in his hands looking and feeling as hopeless as he did that fateful day when his car was vandalized, he saw himself, lost his job, and met the man he missed the most. When he met the eccentric detective in the yellow leather jacket that broke into his home, he thought that he was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. Due to this man, his apartment was vandalized by the Rowdy 3, he was a suspect in multiple homicides, and he had lost absolutely everything. He thought the holistic detective was the last person he wanted in his life, but he was wrong.
As much as he tried to stop it, Dirk became his friend - his best friend - and helped him become a better person - an honest person. Before Dirk, he was a coward and a liar, so caught up in his own self-hate that he was stuck living in his past, as opposed to the present. It wasn't as if all his problems were solved, but he had a reason to make them so with the detective around, who would hold him accountable for his mistakes and his excuses and give him compliments on things that seemed the furthest thing from the truth, like his worth as a friend or his newfound detective skills. Dirk added spontaneity and adventure to his otherwise meaningless and monotonous life and flipped it upside down, but he was gone. They all were gone.
Farah filled in all the details when she took him back to his apartment building, one that felt much more empty and alone without his ball of optimism and adventure there to give his apartment or his partner's apartment some light. He had imagined that now that Dirk was out of the hospital, solved the case, and had Farah as an investor, he and Dirk would finally start up one quirky titled "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency". Along with the neurotic bodyguard and anomalous detective, his group of place-less people who found one another would work on new cases leading him into increasingly bizarre and dangerous situations, but this time Dirk wouldn't be alone. Dirk would have, more often than not, spent late nights at his place - or vice versa - where they would discuss the case, and likely digress into the friendly conversations that both socially inept men were deprived of for so long, yet found in each other. But that wasn't possible anymore, not with what happened.
Most of the events of the previous few hours were a blur to Todd, partially due to the trauma of his first attack and partially due to the fact that multiple tragedies were hitting him all at once. On top of that, they all were happening immediately after he and Dirk just shared an intense near-death experience on account of the case of Patrick Spring. For as long as he could remember, Todd had not had any moments of complete peace and bliss in his life. The one thing giving him trouble was the fact that Amanda had run off with the Rowdy 3, but knowing she was safe and had found her own band of weirdos helped ease the pain of her leaving. Other than that though, things were perfect in those few isolated hours between picking Dirk up from the hospital to sharing a meal with Dirk and Farah at the diner before his attack and his friends' abductions.
He met up again with Dirk at the hospital, whose shock at Todd ever wanting to speak to him again killed him a little inside. He was the one not worthy to be around a man as enthusiastic, intelligent, and handsome as one Dirk Gently, not the other way around. He hated that the man who didn't know what friendship or infatuation was if it stared him in the face, couldn't see that the man he changed for the better was there for him, not for personal gain, but for his friend. However, seeing the speechlessness and small smiles on the detective's face made it all worth it. He didn't know that a simple act of kindness like giving the man back his boldly colored, but now surprisingly endearing yellow jacket and a T-shirt from his former rock band, would give himself and the other man such happiness. After having seen Dirk almost die before his eyes, seeing the detective in his clothes and bearing the optimism that suited him so well, Todd couldn't have been happier. Despite being annoyed by the man's antics, that annoyance was slowly turning into endearment and enjoyment, after getting to know the perfectly imperfect holistic detective.
In the diner with Dirk and Farah, it was the first time in a long time and possibly in his life that Todd felt like he belonged. The trio sat in their window booth, drinking milkshakes and laughing about the wild names and supposed positions at their fictitious and prospective detective agency, and it was too good to be true. He was sitting across from the most driven and deadly woman he knew, and was seated closely beside an adorable yet strangely attractive psychic who was playfully teasing him and finishing his sentences. Todd finally was in a safe space where he could let his guard down, go along with the detective's wild and ridiculous antics, and enjoy the pleasure that came along with socializing and having close friends for once in his life. He couldn't believe that his own anger at Dirk lying to him, the epitome of a liar, had almost deprived him of these moments of sheer enjoyment that were full of soft smiles, playful nudges, knowing looks, and loud laughter with some of the people he had come to care about the most.
Just as Amanda said, Dirk Gently came into his life for a reason and transformed him from a lying, broke and friendless bellhop into an honest, yet bad-ass partner to a psychic detective, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He was learning how to feel lively, passionate and excited again and was finally working to fix everything he had destroyed by his own hand, while rebuilding his life with man who was the cause of it all. He had solved a murder case, wielded a giant crossbow, swapped a girl's soul, and time traveled in the matter of days, which was enough excitement for an average person's lifetime, and being around Dirk was anything but average. But that's what he adored about his eccentric detective partner, life was always an adventure and that is just what Todd needed after living a life of repetition and tirelessly upkeeping lies and facades. The universe had fated them to be together and brought them into the other's lives, guided by Dirk's hunches. It was a good thing for the both of them, but like all good things in Todd's life, they had to come to an end.
It all started with the phone call from Amanda which radiated screams and yelling for help through the speaker. His sister's desperate cries about "them" coming after her and the Rowdies replayed over and over in his head, each time more urgent than the last. He felt hopeless here in his run-down apartment and was helpless in saving his sister who was gone. Something in him, call it a hunch, was nervous about Amanda leaving with the Rowdy 3, but this was worse than he ever could have imagined. The last he heard from his sister was her screaming his name and screaming in terror, and since then it has been radio silence. He had no idea where she was and if she was alive or dead. He knew the Rowdies were incredibly strong and fiercely defensive of their new member and drummer girl, but whoever "them" was clearly posed a threat to their safety.
He had not been out of contact with Amanda for this long in awhile. He knew that they were on poor speaking terms ever since his revelation that he was lying about pararibulitis, which ironically became another lie. However, ever since she got sick, the two of them had always been there for each other and any time she needed anything, he would drop everything to help. After she got sick, she became his one reason to continue living the life he loathed so much, because if he wasn't there to help her through her attacks and work to pay for her medication, nobody would. Their parents were broke and couldn't help, so all the pair had for years was each other. He knew his sister and knew that after what had happened that she would have answered one of his dozens of missed calls by now, the only reason she wouldn't was if she couldn't - a thought he did not want to come to terms with. He had almost completely lost Amanda once, and he couldn't go through the pain of losing her again, especially if this time it was a lot more permanent.
Farah couldn't get in contact with her either, but at least Farah had an idea as to what happened to her, and what happened to Dirk. He and the Rowdies Amanda was with were anomalies, who happened to disappear at the same time without a trace. It was clear that something must have abducted him, and to do something that cleanly and coordinated must have been military. There was a great possibility that they were in government captivity right now, with no way to contact those on the outside, which meant that the only way to see them again would be to bust them out of wherever they were. Even with all Farah's training and extensive knowledge of the government agencies that rejected her, it was still a shot in the dark and the odds were completely against them should they even attempt a rescue, that is if they could find the facility. It was hopeless and both the captive and free parties were helpless.
It also didn't help that the already challenged duo had a new handicap, on top of everything else that was hurting their chances of seeing their friends to safety: pararibulitis. It was a cruel irony that the one lie that snowballed and ruined his life finally came back to bite him once it was less potent because of being honest with Amanda and Dirk. Many a time would he latch on to his sister when she was having a bad day, cradling her closely and whispering comforting words in the aftermath of an attack. When listening to Amanda talk about her attacks, he couldn't imagine how hard it must be for her, especially when her one pillar of strength couldn't relate to her feelings, but now he didn't have to. He didn't know what triggered the attack, but he knew some of Amanda's attacks came from being in high-stress situations while other attacks were more random. He knew that hearing his sister more scared than he had ever heard her through the speaker of his phone might have set him off, but then why didn't he have an attack during the consistently dangerous and intense situations he'd found himself in that past week on account of the holistic detective?
He didn't have the answers, but he had so many questions and now his only two confidants and personal pillars of strength were gone. Sure he had Farah, but she wouldn't understand what he was going through like Amanda and Dirk would have. She had no idea about anything to do with his disease aside from what she heard from Amanda and saw during his attack, but that wasn't much, and he knew Farah. Despite how strong she was at hiding it, Farah was easily stressed out which sent her into states of self-depreciative panic, and the last thing he needed to do was overwhelm her with this information while they were trying to plan a break-in at a high profile government facility. He didn't know what they'd do when he had an attack, but that was a question for the future, and a terrifying one at that.
Knowing how much the universe loved him, he knew that it would probably happen in the middle of their break-in or somewhere else that was completely inconvenient. He would have bought the medication that Amanda used, but it wasn't as if he was rolling in money now. He was still broke and couldn't afford a couple months worth of $300 medication right now and while Farah had money, he didn't need to be more of a burden on her than he already was. He was a danger to their operation and a danger to himself now that he was suffering from an unpredictable yet paralyzing disease.
If Amanda was around, she would have likely comforted him, like he did for her, and helped him through his attacks, if she would have him. Despite their shaky terms at the moment, neither himself nor Amanda would wish the disease on their worst enemy, let alone their own flesh and blood. She would know what to do this time, and become his new anchor as the siblings would try to overcome their shared handicap together. Maybe she could even have her band of Rowdies feed of his energy, just like they did when they saved her life when she was drowning in his apartment.
If Dirk was here, he might not completely understand how to deal with his attacks, considering he rudely shooed the man away the only time he would have witnessed an attack. However, he had been with Dirk when he was at his worst and most vulnerable, like their time in the forest when following Patrick Spring's map. Even though he dropped his darkest secret on the man, one that would make anyone stay away, the other man listened to him with patience and care and called him out when he was in the wrong. While he didn't seem like it at times because of the happy front he always wore, Dirk was a fragile, broken and sensitive man like he was, and they had found each other and became the other's rock, best friend and partner. The thought of having him by his side in the aftermath of an attack made them seem less terrifying, but that wasn't an option now, and from the looks of it possibly ever.
He knew nothing about their whereabouts, but knew that while the Todd of a month ago would have likely given up, the Todd of today would stop at nothing to save his sister and his closest friend, even if it meant endangering himself in the process. It was worth his own safety to see them again, to hear their voices, to hold them closely, and to have them back for good. He was barely surviving hours of not knowing the whereabouts and status of Dirk and Amanda, he didn't know how much longer he could withstand it for. Amanda was his sister, his flesh and blood, his fellow rebel, and his greatest love. He had spent so much time trying to protect her from the world and when she finally went out into it, she was ripped from him, which stressed him out enough to trigger an attack on its own, but then there was Dirk.
Dirk's path and his own had only crossed for a short time, but Todd wasn't going to settle for that. He was going to find the detective, and maybe solving the case of missing the missing psychic would force Dirk to officially promote him from ward to partner at their detective agency. He had that bizarre yet charming man in his life almost 24/7 that past week and not having him there was a drastic and unwelcome change because in all the craziness, Dirk was the one constant. He was the new rock in Todd's life who understood him, even when he couldn't understand anything else going on. He had used his smirks, eyebrow raises, challenges, antics, smiles and hunches to insinuate himself into Todd's life, so much so that not having around just felt wrong. After thinking he lost Dirk forever to the shots to the shoulder or due to his own impulsive behavior, he could not lose Dirk for real.
He didn't know what he would do without hearing his heavily-accented rants about anything and everything and those odd and random comments only Dirk would make which made his eyes roll outwardly, but smile a bit inwardly. He didn't know what he would do without seeing the rainbow of bold jackets that the man seemed to own, always running ahead of him while trying to solve a mystery. He didn't know what he would do without the compliments that Dirk gave him that he shrugged off in the moment, but used constantly to try to overcome his extremely low self-image. He didn't know what he would do without seeing the expressive face that could make every facial expression possible in the manner of moments either challenging him to get a task done or giving him the soft looks he sometimes shot an oblivious Dirk. He didn't know what he'd do without seeing the man he'd come to call his best friend and was starting to want to call his partner, but not in the detective sense of the word. He didn't know what he would do without Dirk Gently, which was a statement he would have died before uttering a few days ago, but never felt more right.
Dirk and Amanda were gone, he had pararibulits, and his short spell of happiness was over, but that didn't mean it was over for good. He would save Dirk and Amanda with Farah. He would get to rebuild his relationship with Amanda again. He would get to be Dirk's partner and work alongside him at their detective agency, fondly named after the psychic detective. He would get to have the late nights in the office or his apartment with Dirk and with Farah and get to have those rare moments of happiness in the diner again. He would get through his attacks and the new obstacle thrown into his life with the people he loved. He would get them back or die trying and this time he would fix everything.
Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! I plan on doing more writing too so any love, inspiration and criticism is always welcomed. Thanks loves!