A/N: I got bored, and thought I would have fun making fun of Edward Cullen.
50 Things You Never Knew About Edward Anthony Mason Cullen
He uses AXE Whatever to make his hair look untamable.
When he tells Bella he is going to hunt with his family, he stays home.
When he stays home he puts on a blonde wig and rhinestone go go boots
He sings along to Hannah Montana songs
He enjoys it
He hugs trees when he's lonely
He runs into walls on purpose
When he runs into walls he says in a fake British accent, "Excuse me, madam."
He makes explosion noises whenever someone presses a button in an elevator
He has denial issues
He watches Bella sleep with a creepy smile on his face
He strokes Bella's hair while she is sleeping whispering, "My precious." Like boss' do to their cats in weird movies
He sobs whenever he watches the Wizard Of Oz.
He stabs himself with pencils just to watch them break
He's emo
He plays the bongos
He puts on round glasses, a black robe, and a tie and pretends to be Harry Potter
He does a horrible impression of Ron Weasly
He takes anger management classes
He goes to an online dating site just to see how many people want to date him
He pretends to be an old man with a cane yelling at kids' to get off his lawn
He dresses up in Alice's clothes when no one is home
He does random spit takes
He put neon colored duct tape over his mouth and pretends to be a damsel in distress
He walks back and forth in his room like a girl holding a purse filled with lipstick
He has a pink pen with feathers on top
He tries to pull off being all 3 Jonas Brothers at once
He uses a stuffed Chihuahua to act like a self centered movie actress
He plays with Barbie Dolls
He plays darts and purposely pokes himself in the eye
He pretends to be a Death Eater
He walks up to random people and pants them.
He acts like a misbehaved puppy
He buried a bone in the backyard
He likes watching movies about cats
He argues with himself
He collapses to the floor and stares at the ceiling at random times
He puts on Rosalie's make up
He listens to the Jonas Brothers
When he listens to the Jonas Brother he dresses up like a girl to act like a crazy fan
He squeals when he is excited
He doesn't know how to play piano
He uses a CD player with a piano disk inside
He hides in under the piano bench
When someone walks into an elevator he whispers, "Quick! Hide it!" then whistles innocently
He wrestles with himself
He has conversations with his mind
He skips around the house singing, "Lollipop! Lollipop! Oh, lolly lollipop!"
He screams at the TV when it's not even on
He goes around to random people he doesn't know and whispers in their ear, "I like pandas." Then giggles like a little girl and runs away to tell someone else.
A/N: Hope u liked! It's random, but can you blame me?! I'm bored! What else am I going to do?! Put my brothers' neon pink colored duct tape over my mouth and ask him to tie me up so I can see how long it takes me to get out? Yeah, like that's going to happen. And yes, he does actually have neon colored duct tape. His GF gave it to him for a B-day present. She's a bit loony, but nice! =) Review!!