Kyo's Problems with Change

by Starphoenix

After a trip to China, Kyo encounters a certain "change" in perspective. It would also appear that NESTS is also running rampant... again. Perhaps a shallow fic... but then again, all is right in the name of comedy... okay, maybe not.

[Notice: Orochi Nage quote provided by Calvin Janes F. Bauzon's FAQ. Sure it's probably elsewhere too, but I looked there, so neh! =P]

Kyo: About time you started one about me. *Starts off to leave* Now quiet down and watch how it's done. *Leaves*

Athena: *To Star* You are so going to screw him over, aren't you?

Star: *With a mischievous look on his face* How'd you guess?

Sagat: Shall I prepare the sheep?

Star: That won't be necessary... and go home and get some rest, okay?

Sagat: Aye aye... cap'n. *Leaves*

And now...

What If...

...

Kyo was female?

...

...

...

The scene starts out at the Legendary Training Grounds of... *Reads Script* Jusenkyo. Kyo is walking with the Tour Guide with Benimaru and Daimon in tow.

Kyo: Soooooooo... these are the Training Grounds of Jusenkyo? Not too impressive... but nice looking springs...

Tour Guide: Ah... each spring hold tragic story about...

Benimaru: Let's go Kyo! I've got a hot date to see tonight, and I need to warm up for my Main Event.

Kyo: Suuuuuuuuuuuuure, Benimaru.

The two of them jump onto the long bamboo shoots, balancing themselves atop them.

Tour Guide: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not again! You don't want fall in!

Daimon: .....

Kyo and Benimaru fight for a bit before Kyo knocks Benimaru off one of the bamboo shoots. Benimaru falls into one of the pools.

Tour Guide: Oh No! That cursed spring of drowned sheep! Where... oh wait... *Looks again* Actually, that cursed spring of drowned bishounen. 100 year ago, pretty boy drown in cursed spring. Now, whoever fall in spring turn into bishounen!

Benimaru resurfaces... unchanged.

Tour Guide: Of course... If already Bishounen, spring have no effect.

Benimaru and Kyo continue to fight atop the bamboo shoots until Benimaru gets a lucky shot in and Iai Kicks Kyo toward a spring.

Tour Guide: OH NO!!! NOT SPRING OF DROWNED GIRL... AGAIN!!!

Kyo falls and...

Kyo: Haaa... Korede Owari da! *Orochi Nage's the spring, evaporating the water before he lands*

Tour Guide: Ahhhh! What you do?! You evaporate spring of drowned girl!

Kyo: Yeah? So? I didn't feel like getting wet. This place doesn't seem very "legendary." Let's go.

***

Elsewhere...

Athena: He didn't fall in.

Star: %&^*#(%&$(^#)

***

There is a dark room filled with blackness, with only a single spotlight illuminating the room. A man with short white hair walks to the spotlight. He looks toward a point in the darkness and awaits judgement.

???: We have considered your proposals, Halinder, and we've decided that...

Halinder: *Anxiously* Yes?

???: ... Your first proposal is more appropriate. You may carry on with it.

Halinder: Thank you... but... what about my second proposal?

???: We've... decided to... wait... on that one.

Halinder: Why? It would be the perfect use for those Kyo Clones that Krizalid left behind. Plus, we could possibly take over the world that way... with few resources expended.

???: It... how should we put this, makes us uncomfortable. If your initial plan succeeds, then we may not have a need for it.

Halinder: I thank you, anyhow, NESTS Cartel. *He bows to them and leaves*

Halinder exits the room.

NESTS Member #3: Are we really going to allow him to activate proposal 2?

NESTS Member #1: Of course not. We want to control the world, but not in... THAT way.

NESTS Member #2: I agree. Something like that could grow out of hand. I think it would be better if we just focused on Kyo Kusanagi.

NESTS Member #3: I suppose...

NESTS Member #1: He will be ours.

***

Cut to Halinder walking down a silver corridor with two men by his side.

Halinder: *With shades on and long fitting coat* Did you bring the injection?

NESTS Soldier #1: Yes sir. *Give Halinder a mini briefcase*

Halinder: *Opens the case and looks at the syringe* Very well, I'll be off to China now.

NESTS Soldier #2: China, sir?

Halinder: Yes, Kusanagi has been last spotted there. I want to cut him off before he reaches Japan again. *Starts to walk off after closing the mini briefcase and then stops* I want you two to prepare the Kyo Clones... just in case this doesn't work.

NESTS Soldier #1: But aren't you supposed to get clearance from the Higher Ups in the cartel?

Halinder: Don't worry, after we take over the world, they can reprimand me. *Leaves*

NESTS Member #2: What does that syringe do, anyhow?

NESTS Member #1: I think it was suppose to make however it injects more and more anti-social or something, and more susceptible to NESTS suggestions. He's going to use it on Kyo Kusanagi so that NESTS can have him be general of their forces.

NESTS Member #2: Ahhhhh...

A woman walks up behind the two. She has platinum blonde hair tied back into a ponytail and violet eyes. She is dressed in a black uniform with black boots.

Woman: Do you have it?

NESTS Members #1 and #2: *Both salute*

Woman: At ease.

The two NESTS Members are at ease.

Woman: Now... do you have it?

NESTS Member #2: The Jusenkyo Women's Spring Injection? Yes ma'am. *Pulls out a mini briefcase and gives it to the woman*

Woman: *Opens the mini briefcase and studies the syringe carefully... then...* What the hell is this?!

NESTS Member #2: Is something wrong, Ms. Fandine?

Ms. Fandine: Yes! Something IS wrong! *Pushes the syringe near NESTS Member #2's face while making him nervous in the process* This isnt a Jusenkyo Injection! THIS IS A MIND CONTROL INJECTION!!! SEE THIS RED TAPE HERE?!!! THAT MEANS MIND CONTROL!!!

NESTS Member #2: I'm... I'm... sorry Ms. Fandine... it was an accident... but really, that transformation of yours doesn't need to be fixed... it's prefectly unnoticeable...

Ms. Fandine: I TURN INTO A ******* SHEEP!!!

NESTS Member #2: *Cowering* But a lovely sheep at that... please don't hurt me. *Trembles*

NESTS Member #1: You don't think that... uh-oh... *Starts toward the direction Halinder left in* SIR!!! MR. HALINDER!!! DON'T USE THAT SYRINGE!!!

Cut to a small room where the Japan Team has finished a night of binge drinking and are sleeping drunkenly about the room. Kyo is the only one actually sleeping on a bed as beer cans are strewn about the place practically covering the floor. Daimon is out like a light and snoring like a motor boat. Benimaru is sleeping clutching his doll of a... yes, a sheep. Kyo is snoring lightly as a dark figure steals his way into the room.

The Dark Figure starts to walk a bit and notices the beer cans all over the place. He tries not to get stuck on the ground as he steps over Daimon's large body and past Benimaru. But before he can get to Kyo, he is stopped...

Benimaru: *Clutching The Dark Figure's Leg and talking in his sleep* No... No! Don't go, Sheepy! Don't go!

The Dark Figure shakes free before going on to Kyo.

Benimaru: *Still sleep talking* I'll always love you! Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

The Dark Figure shakes his head and takes out the syringe from the mini- briefcase. He then applies some iodine to Kyo's arm and injects the syringe and its contents into Kyo's arm.

Halinder: Now... all that needs to be done is to wait for Kyo to wake up, and we can begin our plans for world domination... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Stifles himself and walks out, but not before tripping on the beer cans and getting stuck on the floor on the way out*

***

At the Lovely Waltz... on something unrelated... sort of... Yuki is sitting at a table with an untouched dinner.

Yuki: *Sigh* When will Kyo get back? I already miss him...

Maxima: *At another table* Hey... didn't you already die?

Yuki: Well, that's still debateable...

Maxima: Ah... *To Juni* Put me down for another ten thousand yen on Yuki being alive.

Juni: *Writes something on a pad and pins it to a board labeled "Bets"* Mmm- Hmmm... Hey, you hear the latest news concerning NESTS? It appears they found a bunch of those clones active or something.

Kyo-1 and Kyo-2: *Wearing trenchcoats, hats, and fake mustaches attached to glasses* There's nothing wrong with us being active! We just perceive relationships... differently. *They hold hands*

Juni: *Holding a Newspaper* Um, actually, these clones were found somewhere in Tokyo... wasn't it the Nerima district or something? Where is that?

Maxima: Not sure, somewhere in Tokyo, I guess. You know, K?

K: Whatever...

Maxima: How about you, Squall?

Squall: Whatever...

Maxima: It's like I'm at an apathy convention. *Shakes his head*

Juni: Anyhow, there were five of them and they were taken into custody by the "authorities." You just know that they're going to use them for some government experiments or such. Right?

Maxima: The authorities you're talking about are probably just NESTS under disguise. They're gathering them for some nefarious purpose that we'll just have to wait and see... or go to the next King of Fighters Tournament... where they seem to always get rid of their henchmen... or people they don't like. Isn't that right, K?

K: Whatever.

Squall: Whatever.

Yuki: NESTS? Oh my. I suppose Kyo is going to be gone longer than usual. I hope he doesn't do anything rash...

Juni: *Sarcastically* Kyo? Rash? Of course not!

Daimon is getting up and going to take a shower to wash the beer off his body *He slept in it, but didn't drink nearly that much* He scratches his rear and enters the shower. Benimaru gets up and wobbles a bit. He consumed some alcohol, but not enough to give him a splitting headache. He went to the bathroom sink to clean himself up... more drool than alcohol.

Kyo... well, Kyo drank enough to... how should I put this, he drank enough to put Lex Morgan out for a week (Okay, maybe a day or two). He had slipped off the bed with a definite thud and was now cursing his very existence. The headache he felt was as if he had been Running Three'd by Clark. His pants felt loose, his shirt felt tight, and the breasts were killing him...

Wait, breasts?

Kyo was now snapped out of his mid-morning haze. The headache was blaring, the shower and sink were on, and on his chest were two rather shapely...

Breasts.

***

Star: *Raising his arms in triumph* SCORE!!!

Athena: Riiiiiiiiiiiight... *Looks away and continues to watch Serial Experiments: Lain*

***

When Kyo screamed out, the cry that a girl was heard. He felt his long brown hair reached past his shoulders.

Benimaru: *Walking out and wiping himself off with a towel* What's going... *Sees Kyo* On? Why... Hello there... beautiful. What brings you here to our quaint dwelling area? Are you here to get some loving from the great Benimaru? Are you wishing to be rocked by the greatest lover on the plan... *Gets hit by Kyo* et? @_@

Kyo: IT'S ME YOU DOLT!!!

Benimaru: Huh? You who? If you're that girl back from Kyoto, I can explain what I was doing with those twins...

Kyo: NO!!! ME!!! KYO!!!

Benimaru: What? Kyoko? Don't think I remember that name...

Kyo: *In a high pitched voice* KYO KYO KYO!!!

Benimaru: *Holding his ears* Ow... my ears...

Daimon enters...

Daimon: What's going on? *Sees Kyo* Oh, I see we have a guest.

Kyo: DAMNIT!!! IT'S ME!!! KYO!!!

Benimaru: Her name's Kyoko. Ain't she a beaut.

Daimon: She looks like Kyo... with breasts and long hair.

Kyo: THANK YOU!!! Finally, someone recognizes me!

Benimaru: Say what?

Kyo: *Calming down* Okay... let me say this slow-ly. I-AM-KYO!!!

Benimaru: What? *Gets a disappointed look on his face* Ah, damn. I was hoping to shag tonight.

Daimon: But how? How did it happen?

Kyo: I don't know... *Feels around himself and checks out his body* Damnit, how DID this happen?

Benimaru: Hey... did we actually check the warning on these beer cans?

Kyo: Not that I remember... *shivers* Brrr... these are sensitive. What do they say?

Benimaru: *Reading the label* Caution: Large amounts of consumption may result in odd side effects.

Kyo: *In his high pitched voice* THIS ODD!!!?

Daimon: Well, you did drink quite a bit...

Kyo: NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!?

Benimaru: Ow... eardrums...

Daimon: Why don't you just take a shower and relax... You aren't going to solve anything by yelling.

Kyo: *Sighs* Maybe you're right... *Goes to the shower*

Benimaru: *Follows Kyo in*

Kyo: GET OUT!!! *Chucks Benimaru out of the bathroom*

Benimaru: Oh c'mon! We're all friends here!

Daimon: ...

A woman with short red hair and a green dress with a spider web design on it sits at a table while a man with long black hair and a gold suit, seemingly her partner, smokes a cigarette as he listens to Yuki explain her story.

Man in Gold Suit: *Breathes out a puff of smoke* So... you want us to find this Kyo Kusanagi for you?

Yuki: Yes yes! I'm worried that some certain organization is going to do something nefarious to him... or at least try. I would feel so much more secure if he were here in Japan with me. So that I could keep an eye on him along with his friends.

Man in Gold Suit: ..... *Breathes out another puff of smoke*

Yuki: Will you do it?

Woman with Red Hair: C'mon Baofu! It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Baofu: Yeah... why not? Okay... *Turns to Yuki* That'll be 50 K Yen.

Yuki: 50,000 Yen?! Um... do you mind if I make a down payment or something, first?

Baofu: Sure sure... 5000 down, 45,000 when we deliver the genuine article. Deal?

Yuki: Deal. *Takes out the money*

Baofu: AND, you pay for the drinks. *Takes a shot of some alcohol*

Yuki: Um... okay... *Takes out a little more yen*

Woman with Red Hair: I think you're going to need a little more than that...

Yuki: *Sighs*

***

Later...

Baofu and the Red Haired Woman are in a car.

Woman with Red Hair: So... where are we off to first?

Baofu: Kuzunoha, Ulala.

Ulala: Kuzunoha? Um... why? You don't mean to say...

Baofu: Yup.

Ulala: SPREADING RUMORS?!!! DAMNIT BAOFU!!! *Whacks him in the side* YOU KNOW HOW DAMN LAZY YOU CAN GET?!!!

Baofu: *Rubbing his side* Ow... c'mon... do you really want to spend money on plane fare to go on a wild goose chase? Remember, he was supposedly somewhere in China.

Ulala: I... suppose... yeah, I guess you're right.

Baofu: Damn straight.

***

Back to the Japan Team in China...

Kyo is getting out of the bathroom, male again.

Benimaru: *Disappointed* Ahhh... you're you again. *Pouts*

Kyo: Shut it, Bishounen Boy!

Daimon: Now what?

Kyo: I think I'm going to go home... back to Japan... and go to the Lovely Waltz...

Benimaru: Wha? But didn't we plan on a world tour of training? We've hardly even begun!

Kyo: I don't know... I just feel compelled to go back to Japan.

Daimon: And why the Lovely Waltz?

Kyo: Don't know... Does that place even exist?

Benimaru and Daimon shrug.

***

Back to Baofu and Ulala, at Kuzunoha...

Ulala: Do you really think that it was okay to spread the rumor that Kyo would show up at the Lovely Waltz? I mean, by spreading the rumor... it is supposed to make it true... and... what I'm trying to say is... wouldn't that organization after him get wind of it too?

Baofu: *Breathes out a puff from his cigarette* Bah... if what I've been told was true, he can take care of himself. We just have to find him and drag him to his girlfriend so she can place the ball and chain on him.

Ulala: Heh, I guess you're right... *Thinks about the situation* Hee Hee... so, when is OUR wedding?

Baofu: *Looks alarmed then yawns loudly and stretches* Oh? What was that? That last shot of alcohol is really putting me out... *Goes to lie down and sleeps... or at least pretends to*

Ulala: *Walks away a bit and smiles* Tee hee... I just love teasing him like that.

---

At the Lovely Waltz...

Baofu: Kyo Kusanagi, I presume?

Kyo: Huh? Say what? *Looks up* Ah, I see my fame is unmistakeable... What can I do you for?

Baofu: Fame? Um... yeeeeeeeah... that's it... I'm sure *Under his breath* Idiot... *Talking to Kyo* Well, actually, there was a Mansearcher Request to look for you.

Kyo: A Mansearcher Request?

Baofu: *Takes out a cellphone and starts dialing* Yup, by one Yuki... Yuki... something or other. *Starts to talk on the phone* Yeah, I found him. Swing on by. *Turns off phone and puts it away. He then pulls out a cigarette, pushes his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and lights the cigarette before taking a puff from it*

Benimaru: Heheheh, wa-tish! *Simulates the actions of a whip*

Kyo: SHUT UP, SHEEP BOY!!!

Benimaru: *Laughing* You are so unbelieveably going to get whipped that it really shouldn't be that funny... but it is! *Breaks out into hysterics*

Kyo: THAT'S IT!!! YOU'RE GOING DOWN BRUSH HEAD!!! *Goes after Benimaru but is restrained by Daimon* LET ME AT HIM!!! LET ME AT HIM!!!

Later that evening...

Ulala: Hey, Baofu...

Baofu: *Holding a shot of strong liquor* Yeah, Ulala?

Ulala: After this is over... maybe you and I...

Baofu: *Raises an eyebrow* Hmmm?

Ulala: Why don't we perform a little Innocent Sin, just the two of us?

Baofu: Um... uh... *To himself* I'm really not in the mood for my Eternal Punishment *To Ulala* I'm sorry Ulala... Could you speak a little louder? I'm a little too drunk right now... *Downs his shot of alcohol and pretends to pass out on the bar*

Ulala: *Waves her hand over Baofu's head for a while and sighs* Wuss... *Checks and sees their client walk in* Ah! Get up Baofu! She's here! *Kicks Baofu in the shin*

Baofu: Ow! Okay okay... I'm up, I'm up! *He saunters over to their client, Yuki* Yeah... I see you made it.

Yuki: Um... could you please tell me where he is, now?

Baofu: *Points in the direction of Kyo's table* There he is.

Yuki starts off in the direction.

Baofu: Payment.

Yuki: *Stops and opens her handbag, she then places 45000 yen in Baofu's hand* There you go.

Baofu: Thank you ma'am.

As the two are finishing their transaction, something else is happening in the restaurant...

Customer: *To Balrog the Waiter* WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MENTAL MIDGET!!!? I ORDERED HOT TEA!!! NOT ICED TEA!!! *Chucks the contents of his glass at Balrog, who dodges it*

Balrog: Why you sucky little ungrateful imp!

Customer: Um... uh oh?

Balrog: YEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Starts a grand beatdown of the customer... however...*

Kyo: *In a high pitched voice* Ah, ****! Not again! Damnit! And I just had this cleaned! *He... she, spots Yuki* Yuki? *She turns red at seeing his/her girlfriend*

Yuki: *Shocked* Um... wha? *Sees in front of her a beautiful girl with long brown hair, who is wearing clothing similar to Kyo's. The girl's most prominent feature is her bust, while not as evident as Mai's, is still larger than Yuki's* What the hell? *Turns back to Baofu and Ulala* YOU SAID HE'D BE HERE!!!

Ulala: *Confused* Well... yeah... he is... but... um... but... Hey, Baofu... help me out here...

Baofu: *Shrugs and continues to smoke* We did what we said we would. We can't be held accountable for him actually being a girl. That's your problem.

Yuki: *Steamed* Why you...

Kyo: Yuki! Wait! *Hears a commotion nearby* Hmmm?

Scrubby Will: 1 541|) 1(3|) 734 J00 1|)107!!!111!!! |\|07 |-|07 734!!!111!!! *Chucks hot tea at Balrog, who dodges*

Balrog: C'mere you evil little script kiddie! *Starts pounding the daylights out of Scrubby Will*

The contents, however...

Kyo: *In immense pain* YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

Yuki: *Turning around* Kyo?

Baofu: *Cringing* Ow... that's gotta hurt...

---

Kyo, Yuki, Daimon, and Benimaru are all standing under the canopy of the Lovely Waltz as rain is drizzling down across the streets.

Yuki: Sooooo... it was an overdose of experimental beer that caused you to turn female?

Kyo: That's what we think...

Benimaru: He looks sooooooooooooo cute as a girl, doesn't he? *Snickers until Kyo plants a fist into Benimaru's jaw* Ow... it was just a joke...

Kyo: IT ISN'T FUNNY!!!

Yuki: Well... I might as well drive you home... considering it's too far to walk... well, you could... but... you know, what with the weather making you change into a female... and... well, wet clothing making it see through...

Benimaru: And your lack of female lingerie... so that... we can... heheheh... *Gets another fist to the face by Kyo*

Kyo: *Obviously panicked* SHUT UP!!!

Benimaru: Ow... hey... I'm only joking... if you continue to hit me like that, I'm going to start speaking like Guile!

Guile: *Inside the Lovely Waltz* Eashee Operrayshun! Dahmnit! Wherz myh hookt on fonihcks tape?!

Benimaru: *Shudders*

Kyo: Okay... I guess I'll ride with you... wait... where's your car?

Yuki: *Points to across the street* There.

Kyo: D'oh!

Yuki: Don't worry... you'll only be in the rain for a little bit...

Kyo: BUT I DON'T WANNA TURN INTO A GIRL AGAIN!!!

Yuki: Well... I forgot to get an umbrella, so you'll have to manage... don't worry, no one will see you...

Kyo: *Looks behind to see Benimaru smiling evilly as Daimon is seemingly trying to mind his own business* Uh... um... *He then remembers something* WAIT!!! THE SECRET KUSANAGI TECHNIQUE!!! THAT'S IT!!!

Yuki: Secret Kusanagi Technique? Wasn't that Mu Shiki?

Kyo: No no no... the OTHER Secret Kusanagi Technique! This one makes it so that the body produces a wave of heat that evaporates water before it even touches the skin by concentrating my chi!

Yuki: Have you ever tried it before?

Kyo: Not yet... but I know that it should work... *Starts to concentrate* Meet me on the other side you guys...

Everyone else moves to the other side of the street.

Daimon: Hey... couldn't we have just moved the car over to the other side of the road so that he doesn't have to get wet?

Yuki: Let Kyo-Sama do this. He doesn't always try new techniques. So this is a rarity.

Daimon: I see...

Kyo: *Concentrating* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

30 seconds later...

Kyo: *Concentrating* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

30 seconds later...

Kyo: *Concentrating* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Another... 30 seconds later...

Kyo: *Concentrating... again* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

DBZ Exec: HEY!!! THAT'S COPYRIGHT INFRINGE... OOOOF!!! *Gets trampled on by a stampeding herd of Tonberries*

Star: *Riding a Purple Chocobo* GET ALONG LITTLE LIZARD PEOPLE!!! *Stomps over DBZ Exec with the Chocobo*

DBZ Exec: Ouch... medic...

Back to Kyo...

Kyo: *Finally charged up enough* HERE I GO!!! *He rushes to the other side in a streak of red as he dashes under the canopy on the other side. He then clenches his fist in triumph* I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!

Benimaru: Um... *Snickes a bit* Kyo?

Kyo: WOOHOO!!! I BEAT IT!!! I BEAT THE SIDE EFFECT!!!

Daimon: Um... *Turning away* Kusanagi-San?

Kyo: YEAH!!! WHO DA MAN!!!? I'M THA MAN!!!

Yuki: KYO!!!

Kyo: *Turns toward Yuki* Huh?

Yuki: Um... I think your new technique worked a little TOO well...

Kyo: *Confused* Huh? What do you mean?

Behind Kyo, the shutter of a camera is heard. When Kyo turns around, Ran Hibiki is seen snapping pictures.

Ran: *Still snapping photos of Kyo's nekkid body* This'll make a bundle in the Male Video Game Character Porn Ring!

Kyo: *Turning bright red shields his manhood* STOP IT!!!

Benimaru: *Breaks up laughing as he clutches his sides in pain* MALE VIDEO GAME PORN RING!!!? WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU KYO!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kyo: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!! *Goes to smack Benimaru as Benimaru dodges into the street. Kyo follows him without realizing the consequences* COME BACK HERE YOU... *She notices her voice and... ample... chest* Uh... oh...

Benimaru: Mmmmmmm, tasteful nudity. *Snickers*

Vega: *Popping out of what appears to be nowhere* Where? Where? *Sees the nekkid Kyoko* Ah... just a woman... *Pouts and goes back into hiding*

Yuki: I suppose we'll have to go clothes shopping for you...

At NESTS...

Halinder: So... you're saying that you MIXED up the two syringes, Agents 105 and 203?

NESTS Agent 105: Um... yes sir...

NESTS Agent 203: That is... um... correct...

Halinder: Bah! Could anything ELSE go wrong!?

Messenger: Sir... this message for you!

Halinder: From who?

Messenger: The Higher Ups... they want you to host the next King of Fighters Tournament.

Halinder: SON OF A *****!!!

Ms. Fandine walks in.

Messenger: You too, Ms. Fandine.

Ms. Fandine: Huh? Me too?

Messenger: You're co-hosting the King of Fighters Tournament with Halinder, ma'am.

Ms. Fandine: WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!!!?

Halinder: *Can't help from smiling* Maybe they don't like sheep...

Ms. Fandine: *Shoots Halinder a death gaze before smashing him in the mouth and against a steel wall with her boot*

Halinder: Ow...

Agent 105: So... do we continue this plan of yours, Sir Halinder?

Halinder: *Recovering* Yes... we WILL overtake the world using the Kyo Clones... one way... or the other... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Agent 203: *To Agent 105* Isn't that a bit unoriginal?

Agent 105: *To Agent 203* I wish...

Agent 203: Oro?

Back to Kyoko, Yuki, Benimaru, and Daimon.

Yuki is driving the car...

Fast.

Too Fast.

After plowing down mailboxes and street signs, Yuki blissfully smiles her way past her path of destruction. Meanwhile, Kyoko, who is wrapped in a blanket, and the guys in the backseat are wide eyed in terror, too scared to even lose control of their bodily functions...

Kyoko: YUKI!!! WATCH OUT FOR THAT DOG!!!

Swerve...

Daimon: YUKI!!! WATCH OUT FOR THAT PANTHER!!!

Swerve...

Rugal: *Wet from the swerve* How unmannered of them! Isn't that right?

Panther: Grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Benimaru: YUKI!!! WATCH OUT FOR THAT SHEEP!!!

Sheep: Bah!

Swerve...

Kyoko: WATCH OUT FOR THAT...

*THUMP!!!*

Kyoko: Person...

Benimaru: Oh crap! We hit somebody! Who was it? Hey! He's getting up!

TLW: Bah! You SNK Characters suck compared to the far superior Capcom Drivers! They can drive...

The Car backs up and runs TLW over again. It drives forward, then backward some more times before going on its way.

Benimaru: Oh... it was only TLW... good hit!

Kyoko: Um... Yuki... where exactly ARE we going?

Yuki: *Stepping on the brake hard enough to make Benimaru and Daimon fly into the front seat of her car, she stops it in front of an apartment store. Sounding almost too cheerful, she says* We're here!

Kyoko: Oh no...

Yuki: Time to pick something cute for my little Kyoko! This will be so much fun!

Kyoko: Shoot me now...

---

Kyoko is walking out of the dressing room in a green dress with a bow in the back. Her expression speaks of utter misery.

Yuki: You look soooooooooo cute, Kyo-Chan!

Kyoko: Are we done... yet?

Yuki: That's it for the dresses...

Kyoko: *With a glimmer of hope in her eyes* You mean... we're... done done? YAHOOOOOOO!!!

Yuki: No... we need to fit you for some bras...

Kyoko: *Facefaults and then gets on her knees, sobbing* Will... it... never... end?

Yuki: Hey... where's Benimaru and Daimon?

Kyoko: I don't know about Daimon, but Benimaru is... *Points over toward a department store clerk and Benimaru flirting with her*

Benimaru: What do you about: Me, You, and a Weekend at a Luxurious Hot Spring Resort? *Winks at the Clerk*

Clerk: *Giggling* Me Bouncy! *She bounces, smiling*

Benimaru: Right... girl... *Smiles a devastating bishounen smile that causes the Clerk to get hearts in her eyes*

Yuki: *Grabbing Benimaru by the ear and dragging him away* C'mon, toothpick boy!

Benimaru: Ow! Hey! I was almost ready to steal Home! C'mon! Cut a guy some slack!

Yuki: Where's Daimon?

Benimaru: Daimon? Um... I think he went to the arcade...

Yuki: Arcade? Why?

At the Arcade...

Daimon: *Strikes a pose after winning* RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!

Scrubby Will: Bah! I'm tired of playing this stupid King of Fighters 98' game... I'm going to go play a REAL game, like Marvel Vs. Capcom 2... with my REAL team of Iceman, Cable, and Ironman! That's a REAL Man's game! *He starts walking away, but trips and is soon stepped on by three Tonberries on their way to the Dance Dance Revolution Machine* Ow...

Daimon: HAHAHA!!! I can't be beaten tonight! I am in... THE ZONE!!! NOTHING CAN TAKE M OUT OF IT... *Under his breath* Besides a better player... *Loudly* NOTHING!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Over the speakers, a song begins to play. As it starts, Daimon's eyes go wide.

Daimon: ACK!!! NO... *Starts to falter* NOT... THAT!!!... NOT... *Gets to his knees* BOY BAND MUSIC!!! *Lies on the floor convulsing as his team is beaten by the Psycho Soldiers Team*

Toward the front of the Arcade...

Yuki: *Listening to the music* Hey... Benimaru, do you recognize that song?

Benimaru: Hmmm... it definitely isn't Backstreet Boys and N'Sync... I know their rhythms by... *Reasserts himself* Ahem... I mean... They all sound the same, stupid boy bands! I would never be caught owning one or ten of their albums... NEVER TEN!!!

Kyoko: Um... yeeeeeeeeah... *Takes a few steps away from Benimaru and hides behind Yuki* He scares me more and more each year...

Speakers: *The song ends* And that was the new single, "I'll make you stay with my begging and pleading" by...

Everything slows down as the group is announced...

Speakers: Kyo-5!

Kyoko: WHAT?!!!

Elsewhere...

Halinder: MY PLAN IS IN ACTION!!! AND NOW, THEY WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD OF POP MUSIC!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ms. Fandine: *To Agents #105 and #203* THIS... is what he had planned?

Both the Agents nod.

Ms. Fandine: Gah! Is he an idiot or just plain mad?!

Agent #105: I have 5000 yen that says he's an idiot.

Agent #203: I have 10000 yen that says he's nuts.

Ms. Fandine: Yeah... well, I have 20000 that says he's a little bit of both.

Agents #105 and #203 nod in agreement.

---

Kyo, Yuki, and Benimaru are all sitting in front of a passed out Daimon. Kyo has his head against a table, Yuki looks perterbed, and Benimaru... Benimaru seems to have just suffered from having his face imploded upon...

Yuki: Quit it Benimaru!

Benimaru: Mmmmgmmmgmgmmmg! Mhgmhgmmmhgmmhg!

Kyo: NESTS hit me low... really low.

Yuki: Don't worry Kyo... *She rubs Kyo's shoulders* I'm sure that people won't start hating you because the boybands look exactly like you...

Benimaru: *Recovering* Hmph! You should've known NESTS would've gotten the idea to do something like this ever since you started wearing that NEW outfit when they started hosting... Oof! *Gets a fist planted in his face... again*

Yuki: *Post Fist Punching Motion* SHUT UP!!! Kyo's been through enough as it is!

Benimaru: *Sheepishly* Okay... *Rubs his injury*

Busting through the door...

Shingo: KYO-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

Kyo: ACK!!! *Jumps at Shingo's entrance* DON'T DO THAT!!!

Shingo: Kyo-San! *Latches onto Kyo* You're just so dreamy! You have such a great voice! I knew you could always go into singing! That's great... Just GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAT!!!

Kyo: Uh... Shingo...

Shingo: Yes... Kyo-San?

Kyo: Could you... *Squirms uncomfortably* let go of me... I'm kind of... losing... air...

Shingo: Oh! I'm sorry Kyo-Sama! But... *Pulls out a bag of CD's* I'm just excited because you just recently put out some CDs out for your adoring fans! *Pulls out some CDs* Nothing But Kyo... The Good, Bad, and the Kyo, Super Hyper Mega Fantastic Buy Our Album Now Edition... *Hugs them* I love them all!

Kyo: Oro? Um... you LIKE boyband music?

Shingo: Oh! I only like the music you put out! That's the only reason I got... *He fumbles with his bag and out pours CDs for the Backstreet Boys, *N'Sync, Hanson, etc.* Eheh... Um... just ignore that... They're... um... my... sister's! Yeah! That's right! *Gets embarassed*

Kyo: You have a sister?

Yuki: *Whispering to Benimaru* Wow... he has more boyband CDs than you do.

Benimaru: Of course not! I mean... um... heheh, he's a wuss...

Yuki: *Getting an irritated look on her face* Give it up... brush head...

A shadow looms behind Kyo...

Kyo: Oro? *Splash* ACK!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!!?

Daimon: Well... I thought that it would be best for your doormat... I mean... fanboy... I mean... "student" to know everything...

Kyoko: Huh? *Looks down* Uh-oh... *Looks over to Shingo*

Shingo: *With a nosebleed* @_@ Wet... T-Shirt... *Passes out*

Yuki: I knew we should've bought that bra for you when we had the chance...

Kyoko: *Head back on table* My life sucks...

---

Kyoko is kneeling above Shingo with a DRY T Shirt on.

Fanboys: Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

Back to the story...

Kyoko: Okay... we really need to nip this in the bud. If Shingo, of ALL people, doesn't recognize that those are clones, I'm doomed.

Benimaru: I don't know, Shingo's pretty psychotic if you ask me.

There is a knock at the door.

Kyoko: *Without even thinking* I'll get it...

Yuki: KYO!!!

Kyoko: Wha?!

Yuki: Your... condition...

Kyoko: Oh yeah...

Daimon: This'lll help... *Pours a cup of hot coffee on Kyoko*

Kyo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! DON'T DO THAT!!!

Daimon: *Smiling* Heheh...

Kyo: Why you...

Yuki: I'll get the door...

Kyo: No no... just stay here and watch over Shingo... *Goes to the door*

Shingo: *Mumbling* Wet T-Shirt... Kyo... Girl... Sweet... Sweet... Dream... Skintight...

Benimaru: He really IS a fanboy, isn't he?

Daimon: You should know better than us, you teamed with him for two years.

Benimaru: Oh yeah... must've slipped my mind...

Daimon: Like that sheep comment...

Benimaru: DAMNIT!!! WILL YOU NEVER LET ME FORGET IT!!!?

Daimon: *Smiling* Nope.

At the door...

Kyo: *Mumbling to himself* Geez... I hope it isn't some boy band assassin or something... *Stops mumbling and opens the door to...* IORI!!!

Iori: Welcome to the music business... Baka.

---

Kyo: So... what brings YOU here?

Iori: *Pushes a CD into Kyo's face, it is by Kyo-5* They look familiar?

Kyo: Ack! They... they're...

Iori: Flaming... and not in a good way.

Kyo: *Looks at Iori suspiciously* Oh... I suppose you BOUGHT that... didn't you?

Iori: *Blinks* No... I just stole it from her... *Points to a little girl crying with her bike pushed over on its side and a broken CD Player*

Kyo: *Sarcastically* You're really subtle... aren't you?

Iori: Mind if I come in?

Kyo: Why should I let you?

Iori: Well, the longer you debate this, the higher the chance that someone is going to see you and...

Random Passerbyer Teenie Bopper Girl: OH MY GOD!!! IT'S KYO KUSANAGI OF KYO- 5, OROCHI NAGE, KYOSTREET BOYS... *She goes on until she passes out*

99 OTHER Random Passerbyer Teenie Bopper Girls: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Meanwhile... somewhere in Japan...

Kensou: Okay Athena... can you test the mike?

Athena: Okay... *Taps the mike* 1... 2... 3... *Is about to sing but is interrupted by glass shattering all over the place* What the... ?

Kensou: That's strange... the glass usually breaks AFTER you hit the high chords...

Athena: Quiet you...

Back to Kyo's...

Random Passerbyer Teenie Bopper Girls come rampaging toward Kyo and Iori.

Iori: *With an unimpressed look on his face* See?

Kyo: Eek! Stay back! My girlfriend will kill me if she sees me with you people!

RPTBG's: MAKE ME YOUR OWN KYO-SAMA!!! WE LOVE YOU KYO-SAN!!! YOU'RE SO CUTE!!! HAVE MY BABY!!!

Kyo: Eep...

Iori: *In a fluid motion* Doushta! *Sends out an SDM Drunken Grail Gasher and fries all the Fans* Now... may I come in?

Kyo: *Looking at Iori strangely* You don't get many dates, do you?

Iori: ... Just let me in ass face.

---

Kyo has finished explaining the story to Iori.

Iori: Well... I can tell you this much, there are a lot of fly by nighters in the music business...

Kyo: So you think this will all blow over soon? That's great!

Iori: ... But... to tell you the truth... I think that you're just plain doomed.

Kyo: Uh... why is that?

Iori: *Flips on the TV* See for yourself.

TV: *Carson Daly is on* And at #1 today on TRL, this video got 38% of your e-mails, and 37% of your calls requesting it, beating out the Backstreet Boys and *N'Sync for the top spot on the countdown... KYO-5!!! *Crowd cheers* With, "You are My Mu Shiki" on Total Request Live! *Crowd Cheers some more before it is turned off via remote*

Kyo: *With head on a coffee table* Can things GET any worse? *He feels a tapping on his shoulder* Hmmm?

Shingo: *With a boquet of flowers presenting them to Kyo* Will you be mine?

Kyo: *Smashing Shingo in the face* I AM NOT A WOMAN!!! SO LAY OFF!!!

Shingo: Ow... Kyo-Sensei! Please... please please please...? Don't hide it! You look really cute!

Daimon: ... I think Shingo has spent a little too much time with Brush Head...

Benimaru: FOR THE LAST [Expletive Deleted] TIME!!! I AM NOT [Expletive Deleted] [Censor Bypass]!!!

Daimon: Sure you're not... you just... SWING that way...

Benimaru: GAH!!! YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?!!! *Points to his body then realizes what he said* Um uh... forget that...

Iori: What the? Why the Hell does Shingo want to date you?

Yuki: Kyo-Kun... should we tell him?

Kyo: *Whining* But... I don't wanna change again...

Yuki: *Pouring water onto Kyo* Quit being such a baby!

Iori: *Seeing Kyo as Kyoko stares for a moment* ... *He then looks at the ample chest that now is apparent on Kyoko* ...

Kyoko: OH GREAT!!! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE!!!? IT LASTS LONGER!!!

Benimaru and Shingo both start snapping pictures of Kyoko with polaroid cameras.

Kyoko: STOP IT!!!

Benimaru: But you said we could.

Kyoko: ..... Why me? *She looks at Iori*

Iori: *Starts a quiet laugh, and then elevates it to a regular laugh, and then a loud laugh* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! My only rival... now forced into becoming... A GIRL!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kyoko: *Weeping* Even my rival laughs at me! Waaaaah! My life sucks! Waaaaaaaaaaah! I'm going to stuck as a girl! Waaaaah! *Starts having her breakdown*

Daimon: Yuki... I think we should do something...

Yuki: I know just the thing... I found it in the newspaper! *She shows it to Daimon*

Daimon: *Reading it* What? You really think that'll work?

Yuki: Of course it will!

---

Kyoko and Yuki are sitting in a room with multiple people.

Kyoko: I don't see why I need to be here.

Yuki: Oh, c'mon, Kyoko! Do it for me! *Bats her eyes*

Kyoko: Eek! Not the Cute Eyes of Subservience!

Yuki: You bet! *Bats her eyes some more* Pleeeeeeeeeeease?

Kyoko: Oh all right! *Mumbling to herself* Damn Cute Eyes of Subservience...

Yuki: I hope the boys aren't causing too much trouble in the waiting room...

Meanwhile...

Benimaru: Hey... baby... why don't you and I go out and do some Dance Dance Revolution of our own... emphasis on the Revolution... baby...

Girl: Tee-Hee...

Shingo: Hey... this water cooler isn't working... *Knocks on it a few times*

Daimon: Let me try... *Whacks the Cooler Hard and Water bursts forth and...

Hits the girl...

Girl: AHHHHHHHH!!! NO!!!

Benimaru: What the?

Girl changes into a guy before their eyes...

Shingo: It's a man b...

Daimon: *Whaps Shingo* Quiet you! We don't need a lawsuit on our hands!

Shingo: *Rubs the back of his head* Ow... sorry...

Benimaru: *Hiding behind Daimon* Is it gone?

Man who was a Girl: Don't worry... it's only a Jusenkyo Curse! I promise I'll get it fixed!

Benimaru: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Back to Kyoko and Yuki...

Kyoko: Did you hear that?

Yuki: Wait... I think this is going to start...

Doctor: Hello good people. My name is Dr. Maximillian Hentai...

Kyoko: Why do I not have a good feeling about this?

Yuki: *To Kyoko* Quiet! We're paying a good 4000 Yen an hour for his services!

Kyoko: *To Yuki* Just what ARE his services?

Dr. Hentai: We have a new person joining us tonight. Would you please introduce yourself?

Kyoko: Mmmm... I don't wanna...

Yuki: JUST GET IT OVER WITH!!!

Kyoko: Oh all right... *Stands up* I'm Kyo Kusanagi, and because of Experimental Beer, I change into a girl. *Everyone claps* Huh?

Takuya from X-Change: Hi, my name is Takuya, and I changed into a girl because the Head Chemist of the Science Club set it up so that a chemical would splash on me and change me. *People clap as he is consoled by his High School Gal Pal*

Ataru Moroboshi from Urasei Yatsura: Hi... the name's Ataru, and helloooooooooo all the pretty girls *Tries to grope someone but is whacked in the back of the head* Ow... well, yeah, I'm here because SHE *Points to a girl with green hair and a Tiger Stripe Bikini* ACCIDENTALLY hit me with that Gender Change Gun...

Lum: I'm sorry darling! But I had to get you to stop from chasing other women! I didn't mean to break it afterward!

Ataru: *Pointing to her chest* IT DOESN'T HELP MUCH NOW, DOES IT?!!! *People clap*

Dr. Hentai: That's quite enough, Ms. Moroboshi...

Ataru: But...

Dr. Hentai: Do you WANT me to call in the droids again?

Ataru: *Sheepishly* No...

Dr. Hentai: Fine... now let's continue...

Person with long dark red hair overshadowing their face is next. It isn't apparent whether the person is a he or she.

Person: .....

Dr.. Hentai: Um... we'll just skip you for now, Ms. X, shall we?

Kyoko: *Sarcastically* Gee... I wonder who that is?

Busty Blonde Woman with a Disgruntled Look on her Face: Yeah... well I'm Dixie... I used to be a real tough and buff muscleman bank robber until a certain SOMEONE *Glares at Dr. Hentai* Made me get in touch with my feminine side, and I've been stuck like this for who knows HOW long. You know what I've had to do for a living?! I've had dress in THIS *Points to her rather revealing atire* and make a living off the oldest pro...

Dr. Hentai: *Nervously* Very well Dixie... let's move on...

Dixie: Grrrrrrrrrr...

Perky little 10 year old girl: OHAYO MINNA-SAN!!! I'M JUST SO HAPPY TO BE HERE!!! YES I AM!!! YES I AM!!! YOU'RE ALL REALLY REALLY PRETTY AND YOU SHOULD REALLY REALLY LIKE THAT!!!

Dr. Hentai: *Sweatdrop* Um... we'll get back to you... *Looks at his clipboard* NeeNee...

Girl with her red hair in a pigtail: Yeah, well... I'm Ranma Saotome, and this stupid tomboy *Points to a girl with short black hair* made me... *Get whacked by a mallet* HEY!!! Whatcha do that for?!

Akane: Get to the point, Ranma!

Ranma: Yeah yeah... as I was saying, I fell into a Jusenkyo Spring and well... I change into a girl when doused with cold water, and back into a guy with hot water...

Kyoko: *Her interest perked* Huh? You too?

Ranma: Yeah... what? You fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl too?

Kyoko: Well... almost...

???: I see we've finally found you, Kyo... or should I say, Kyoko Kusanagi...

Kyoko: Huh? *Dodges a knife thrust* What the?! *She sees what looks to be a woman with a mass of brown hair covering her face in a trenchcoat*

???: Ms. Fandine and Halinder got their syringes mixed up. You were... given... the wrong syringe... so to speak.

Kyoko: What are you talking about?!

???: The syringe you received was an injection from a local hot spring resort called... *Dramatic Pause* Jusenkyo.

Kyoko: Who the hell are you?

???: My apologies... We are the executioners of your fate.

The unknown person throws off their long brown wig and their jacket to reveal...

???: NESTS Assassination Squad... At your service! *Holds knives between all of his fingers* X!!! Let's get em'!

Ms. X: *Nods* ..... *She jumps up and attempts to strike Kyo, but is put through a wall by... NeeNee...

NeeNee: No one hurts Kyo Kusanagi... But... *Throws off her disguise to reveal the taller, and more formidable... Iori Yagami* ME!!!

Kyoko: @_@ Iori?!

Iori: Yeah?

Kyoko: Um... Uh... how the hell...

Iori: Nevermind... *Strikes a fighting pose and concentrates on the NESTS Assassin*

NESTS Assassin: Damn you, Iori! *Throws a flurry of knives, but they all miss their target* Oro?

Yuki: It is true... Villainous Extras have terrible aim when fighting Main Characters...

NESTS Assassin: WHY YOU!!! *Throws 8 knives at Yuki... which all miss their mark... except one that gently grazes her cheek, just enough to let a drop of blood fall*

Yuki: Ow...

Dr. Hentai: Oh... he did it now... *Turns his face away from the action*

NESTS Assassin: What?!

Iori: If at any moment you hurt the Main MAIN Character's Girlfriend, well... let's just say that it was... not nice knowing you...

Kyoko: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

One short and rather painful beating later...

Kyo and Ranma are sitting by a street corner with non-descript cans in their hands.

Kyo: ... So that's the story...

Ranma: I see... so... now... let me get this straight, this NESTS is using clones of you to make Boy Bands?

Kyo: Yup.

Ranma: And you're going to stop them if you can?

Kyo: If I can? I HAVE to stop them, or... well... I'm doomed.

Ranma: How do you plan to stop them?

Kyo: I have my ways... *Taps on a mailbox*

Mailbox: *From the inside* Can you pleeeeeeeeease let me out?

Kyo: No! Not until you tell me what I want to know!

Mailbox: *From inside yet again* But... I think I'm bleeding internally... and that gash looks like it was infected when I saw it... and I think I just lost the feeling to my fingers just now...

Kyo: Well you shouldn't... *Pauses for a moment to gather his breath* HAVE HURT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!

Mailbox: *From inside* Sniff... sniff... How many times do I have to say it? I'm sorry about that! But... at least you could open up the lid so I could get some more air in here...

Kyo: *Annoyed* Fine... *Opens the lid*

Yuki comes running in, she has a small bandage on the cheek she was hurt.

Yuki: Kyo! We found out where they're all going to be!

Kyo: Who?!

Yuki: Those boy bands!

Kyo: Where?!

Yuki: *Grabbing Kyo by the arm* Just c'mon! We don't have much time!

The two leave and Ranma just wanders off.

Mailbox: *From inside* Um... Hello? Anybody? Anyone? *A bee comes through the opening in the mailbox lid* ACK!!! OW!!! THAT ******* HURT!!! Ah geez... how can this get any worse?

R6 Geese Figure 1: Die Evil!

R6 Geese Figure 2: I will shain my hands... with your butt!

R6 Geese Figure 3: You cannot escape... loooooong death!

Mailbox: *From inside* Eep.

The Mailbox is trampled.

---

Meanwhile...

Benimaru, Daimon, Shingo, and Iori are all hanging out around Yuki's car.

Benimaru: *To Iori* So... how exactly DID you take the form of a little girl?

Iori: A secret technique of long ago...

Benimaru: Um... why?

Iori: I really... don't know...

Benimaru: Then why did you bother to learn it?

Iori: Um... uh... *Thinks for a while* Shut up.

Yuki comes running with Kyo and they enter the car.

Yuki: COME ON!!! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!!! *She starts the engine* LET'S GO!!!

Iori, Benimaru, and Daimon pile into the car and Yuki quickly makes the tires squeal as they go racing down the road. Moments later, Shingo walks out of a comic shop with a calender of King of Fighter Babes...

Shingo: *With a nosebleed* Ahhhh... Mai... Miss February... Ooooooh... *Looks around* Oro? Where'd everyone go? Kyo-Sama? Benimaru-San? Mr. Iori? Anyone?

The car, from a distance, comes racing... backwards, toward Shingo... nearly running him over in the attempt. The brakes squeal and the bumper is less than a foot away from Shingo, who is staring almost blankly at it. Benimaru and Daimon get out and grab Shingo and throw him into the car. The drive off... again.

---

At the airport... in the car... of Yuki...

Benimaru: Hmmmmm... kinda looks like the area we fought at in the King of Fighters TOurnament of 99'.

Shingo: Benimaru-San, I think it IS the area we fought at in 99'.

Kyo: Whatever... let's just get it over with before they wreck my reputation completely.

Yuki: Wait! You can't just walk up over there and start firing off wildly!

Kyo: Why not?

Yuki: Um... I don't know if you realize this, but there are probably a good 100 Kyo Clones out there.

Kyo: And?

Yuki: AND... you're outmatched 100 to 5... 20 to 1 odds!

Kyo: And?

Yuki: Doesn't that worry you in just the slightest?

Kyo: No.

Yuki: Agh! Why do I even bother!? *Whacks her head on the steering wheel*

Shingo: Look out! *Ducks*

Everyone else ducks as Ms. Fandine, Halinder, and NESTS Agents 105 and 203 walk by.

Halinder: Is the cannon almost loaded?

NESTS Agent 105: Yes sir!

Halinder: Very well. Soon the whole world shall enjoy this beautiful music! Everyone will be a fan of the Kyo Boybands! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

NESTS Agent 203: Um... can you tell us what EXACTLY this cannon does?

Halinder: Didn't you receive the pamphlet I handed out?

NESTS Agent 203: Um... it didn't have anything on there except a foldout of Angel...

NESTS Agent 105: That's An-hell.

NESTS Agent 203: Whatever... she could be called Miss Foo Foo of the Planet Zeebang. She's just plain hot... *Starts to drool at the pamphlet fold out*

Halinder: Oh wait... yes... now I remember... the Cannon was under the Super Secret Files Objectives...

NESTS Agent 105: And how does that differ from our regular Secret Files?

Halinder: They're SUPER Secret.

NESTS Agent 105: But... shouldn't that entail more security? They were just lying on the coffee table this morning...

Halinder: Curses! So that's how the jelly got on the manilla folder... CURSES!!! *Composes himself* Are the Clones ready?

NESTS Agent 105: They're giving a concert right now to the adoring *Makes quotes with his fingers* "public."

Halinder: Perfect... *He cracks an evil smile* Let us depart!

NESTS Agent 105: But... um, aren't you going to tell us what this cannon does?

Halinder: Ah... yes... as a megalomaniac, it is my duty to explain my plans to utmost fullest so that they can be foiled by the well to do hero at the last possible moment... *Starts to speak* ... But... I'll wait until after the heroes arrive and we capture them.

NESTS Agent 105: But... um... sir... wouldn't our plans work better if you didn't actually TELL them about it?

Halinder: *Thinks for a moment* ..... DON'T YOU DARE BE INSUBORDINATE OF ME, SOLDIER!!! LET'S GO!!! *Storms away angrily*

NESTS Agent 105: Geez... what crawled up HIS ass?

NESTS Agent 203: *Still drooling over the fold out of Angel* An-hell... hee hee...

NESTS Agent 105: *Sweatdrops and drags 203 away by the collar* Figures...

The two Agents Exit... leaving Ms. Fandine standing alone, and looking somewhat depressed.

Ms. Fandine: *Looking at the red horizon* Where are you now, Lover? *She exits*

Kyo, Daimon, Benimaru, Yuki, Shingo, and Iori raise their heads.

Shingo: Did you hear that, Kyo-Sama!? They're almost ready to leave!

Kyo: I heard them, Shingo.

Daimon: So... what now?

Kyo: Well... if we try to bust them in, they're just going to take off and we lose them... BUT... if we sneak in, we have a better chance of catching them off guard.

Shingo: But... how do we get in there?

Kyo: Well... for one, Yuki, you stay here.

Yuki: Why?

Kyo: Because you wouldn't fit in for the plan I have. Plus, I don't want you getting hurt. And Daimon...

Daimon: *Looks at Kyo* Hmmm?

Kyo: Stay here with Yuki and protect her.

Daimon: Uh, why?

Kyo: Because you also don't exactly fit into the plan.

Iori: What IS your plan?

Kyo: Everyone huddle around...

---

Kyo tells the group of his plan.

Iori: No.

Kyo: Oh, c'mon! Swallow your pride just this once!

Iori: No.

Kyo: Ah, c'mon, if I can do it, you can do it too!

Iori: No. No ******* way.

Kyo: I don't like it either... but... well, this is the only way we can do it...

Iori: NO!!!

Kyo: *Pleading with Iori* Pleeeeeeeeeeease? I'll give you that Deathmatch you're always after...

Iori: *His demeanor softening* Promise?

Kyo: Yup.

Iori: *Sighs* Fine... but I am NOT changing clothes for this plan.

Kyo: Didn't say you had to... *Under his breath* Ryu...

Iori: What did you just call me?!

Kyo: Um... nevermind... well... that makes 4... we might need one more person to make it more credible...

K happens to be passing by, with his hands in his pockets... as Kyo and the crew look onward...

Kyo: Get in here! *Grabs K and pulls him into the car. The car begins to shake for a while before it stops.

Later...

Kyo and the group are all standing around Yuki's car. Everyone is dressed in Kyo's KOF 99' Clothing, except for Benimaru, who is wearing a modified Uniform with a slit above his pecs as seen in his regular clothing; and Iori, who refused to change clothing.

K: Why am I here again?

Kyo: Quiet you! You want to get in and beat on NESTS, don't you?

K: Yeah, whatever.

Kyo: Okay... now that we look the part... we can glide in and figure out their plans... *Goes to Yuki who has her head poking out the driver's side window* Okay... when you get the signal, you know what to do, right?

Yuki: Yes... and be careful, Kyo-Kun.

Kyo: Don't worry, Careful is my middle name.

Shingo: It is?

Kyo: Um... not really...

Daimon: Come back alive, Kusanagi.

Kyo: I will.

Daimon: *Thinks for a bit* And try not to make too much of an ass of yourself out there.

Kyo: *Narrowing his eyes* Quiet you.

Shingo: Something just occurred to me... If we go out there and... um... perform... aren't they going to realize we're fakes? Ya'know... the 'Not having prior singing experience and all' part?

Kyo: Well... I do know poetry.

Iori: I have guitar experience.

K: I could care less.

Benimaru: I just look damn fine.

Shingo: Um... isn't that skirting around the issue?

Kyo: *Puts his arm around Shingo* Let me ask you this, Shingo, do any of these Kyo Boybands actually HAVE talent?

Shingo: Um... is this a trick question?

Kyo: We can probably sound as crappy as possible, and the fans will STILL go wild... because... *Points to Benimaru*

Benimaru: I'm damn sexy. *Strikes a pose*

Kyo: Get it now?

Shingo: So... it isn't because of the music?

Kyo: Not for them at least. *Turns to the rest of the group* Let's go people!

They all leave for infiltration...

---

Kyo and the others are sneaking in backstage when...

NESTS Agent 203: HEY!!! What are you guys doing?

Kyo: Uh-oh...

Benimaru: Busted...

Agent 203: You're the Band we called to fill in for the opener at the concert, aren't you?

Shingo: Actually... we're... *Gets smacked over the head and tackled*

Kyo: Yes... yes we are...

Agent 203: Good... so the boss WON'T have my ass... come right this way...

Iori: Should we jump him?

Kyo: No... let's see what's up... we can get a good look of the surroundings from up there...

Later...

Iori: *To Kyo* Okay... we've done this for a good hour now... when the **** are we going to get off stage so I can wash this bad taste out of my mouth?

Kyo: We can't get off the stage yet... we'll look suspicious if we do that... besides... Benimaru seems to be enjoying it.

Benimaru: *To the crowd of girl teeny boppers while blowing kisses* I love you... and you... and you... and you...

Shingo: I just wish we weren't filling in for the Fan Friendly Fantasy Bishounens...

Kyo: Tell me about it...

Shingo: I really wanted to see them live!

Kyo: *Steps away from Shingo... slowly* Ooooookay...

K: *Looks into the crowd* Maxima?

Maxima: *In a poor disguise of a rubber nose, glasses, and moustache* I do not know who this Maxima is. Who are you?

K: DAMNIT MAXIMA!!! Didn't we agree that if I stopped joking around about your sideburns for a month, you would stop spending our spare change on tickets to Pop Concerts!?

Maxima: But... but... Megumi Hayashibara... Ayumi Hamasaki... *sigh* How could I stay away from them?!

K: That's it... we're taking it out of your maintenance and repair bill!

Maxima: *Dropping his head* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Kyo: I think it's almost time to wrap it up...

Iori: Finally...

From the crowd...

Scrubby Will: Hey... check this out... *Pulls out a bottle of Hyper Pressurized Ginger Ale* Heheheh...

Scrubby Lackey: Isn't that dangerous?

Scrubby Will: For them... maybe...

Pops the top, which knocks Shingo unconscious...

Shingo: Oof!

And from the bottle, the soda rushes out and...

Drenches Benimaru...

Benimaru: Eek! My clothes! They're ruined!

Knocks K off stage...

K: Ow! Hey! Get your Teeny Bopper Claws offa me! DAMNIT!!!

Misses Iori...

Iori: .....

And... stops short of Kyo...

Kyo: Phew...

Scrubby Will: Good thing I brought a second bottle... *Pops the top that shatters a light on the catwalk*

Kyo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Gets drenched in cold Ginger Ale* Ah... nuts...

Crowd: *SHOCK* ..... *Then, someone from the crowd yells* THE LEAD SINGER'S A GIRL!!!

Agent 105: *From behind Kyo(ko)* Looks like we finally catch up to you, Kusanagi. *Sedates Kyo(ko) with a tranquilizer dart to the back of the neck*

---

Kyoko awakens in a cold silver room, tied up as three of her four companions are unconscious beside her. She looks around and sees two guards before her, Agents 105 and 203.

Agent 105: I see she wakes.

Kyoko: Who the Hell are you?

Agent 105: *Calling out* We've got him... her... IT here, sir! *Looks over at Agent 203* Get your damn nose out of Angel's Centerfold, Pervert! *Smacks Agent 203*

Agent 203: I was merely... um... assessing her picture.

Agent 105: Riiiiiiiiiiight... *Calls again* We found Kyo Kusanagi, Sir!

Benimaru wakes up and sees Agent 105...

Benimaru: Ooooooh... hmmm? *Tries to act suave* Hey baby... Don't you look...

Agent 105: *Indents Benimaru's nose into his face* Pervert! *Calls out again, but with more irritation* GET YOUR BLOODY ASS IN HERE SO YOU CAN TAKE THESE BUGGERS AWAY!!! I SAID A KYO KUSANAGI WAS DOWN HERE!!! *Mumbling to herself* Damn male pigs...

Shingo: *Who woke up more recently* Benimaru? You hit on one of our captors?

Benimaru: *Smiling with his eyes closed* It matters not what the woman's position is... it only matters that they are woman, and thus... free game for THE bishounen.

Agent 203: *Confused* Agent 105 is a woman? *Scratches his head and walks away with the Angel Fold Out*

Kyoko: Damnit... it looks like they got everyone... except...

Shingo: Iori! *Looks at Kyo* He wouldn't leave us here to rot, would he?

Kyoko: He won't let them have the satisfaction of beating me... if that's what you meant... So I'm confident he'll be able to rescue me.

Shingo: But... what about the rest of us?

Kyoko: Um... ..... *Looks away* .....

Shingo: *Looking worried with puppy dog eyes* Kyo-Sama?

Kyoko: *Gets an idea* Wait! I remember! Plan B!

Shingo: *Hopeful* Plan B?

Benimaru: *Confused* Plan B?

K: Whatever...

Kyoko: *Nodding* Plan B. *She then punches something on her wrist that sets off a beeping sound*

Meanwhile...

Daimon: The signal!

Yuki: *Revs the car's engine* Let's go! *She squeels the tires*

Back to the gang...

Halinder and Ms. Fandine walk into the silver room.

Halinder: Welcome Mister... or should I say... Miss Kusanagi. I hope that you're comfortable with your current arrangements.

Kyoko: Bite me you [Expletives Deleted In Bulk]!!!

Halinder: What a mouth she has... hope she can shut it when I explain my... *Cues ominous music* EVIL PLANS!!!

Ms. Fandine looks around and sees Kyoko, Shingo, K... and...

Ms. Fandine: *Shocked* Beni?

Benimaru: *Shocked* Sheepy?

Halinder: You know this Bishounen?

Ms. Fandine: Yeah... a long time ago.

Benimaru: How long has it been?

Ms. Fandine: Not long enough.

Benimaru: I've always been faithful to you...

Kyoko: *Under her breath sarcastically* Yeeeeeeeeah... that's it...

Ms. Fandine: You have?

Benimaru: I always have... every day of my life...

Ms. Fandine: *Going toward Benimaru* Beni...

Benimaru: Sheepy... *Puckers up*

Ms. Fandine then... delivers a wallop of a right fist down Benimaru's kisser.

Ms. Fandine: LIAR!!!

Kyoko: Phew... I almost lost faith in the female race there...

Benimaru: *With his face indented* Shut up you... ow...

Halinder: Now... can I get on with explaining... *Cues Ominous Music* MY EVIL PLANS!!!

Kyoko: Sure... knock yourself out.

Halinder: *Points to a cannon* See this cannon? Constructed with my own sweat, tears, and stolen money, I created it. I call it... *Dramatic Pause* THE POP CANNON!!!

Kyoko: And just what does this Pop Cannon do?

Halinder: Allow me to demonstrate using the compact version, *Pulls out a contraption that looks similar to a flamethrower and straps it to his back* ON YOUR FRIEND!!! *Blasts Benimaru with it. After some weird looking purple beams finish shining on Benimaru, he is quiet*

Kyoko: BENIMARU!!! ARE YOU OKAY!!!?

Terry: *In the distance... a whiles away* BUSTAH WOLF!!!

Benimaru: Uh... yeah.

Shingo: *Confused* So... it's a cannon that does nothing?

Halinder: Not quite... *Looks at Benimaru* Do you like... Boy Bands?

Benimaru: Yeah well... I guess... they have some good music...

Halinder: *Laughs maniacally* WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! SEE?!!!

Kyoko: See what?

Halinder: I HAVE ALTERED HIS MIND INTO ACCEPTING THE POP MUSIC OF... BOYBANDS!! *He laughs some more*

Kyoko: And? He always was like that.

Halinder: He was?

Kyoko: Yup.

Halinder: How about I try it on... *Points to Shingo* HIM!!!?

Kyoko: He likes Boybands too.

Halinder: Um... uh... darnit... *Looks around and spots K* Surely he doesn't like boybands!

K: Whatever... but... if you hit me with that cannon, you're going to be spitting up teeth til Tuesday.

Halinder: Big words for a captive! *Tries to fire, but it jams* What? *Looks into the cannon and assesses it* Damnit... that's what I get for using cruddy parts... *Points cannon toward Agent 203 and it goes off*

Agent 203: *While getting zapped* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARGHHH!!!

Halinder: How do you feel, Agent 203?

Agent 203: Actually... kinda good. Can I go watch the concert? I wanna catch Kyo-5's big number.

Agent 105: *Looks at Agent 203 strangely* What the Hell...? *Starts to shuffle away from him* Get away from me, you freak!

Halinder: *Holding the cannon like a trophy above his head* BEHOLD!!! WITH THE POP CANNON, I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!

Kyoko: Um... exactly how do you plan on doing that?

Halinder: Simple My Gender Changing Captive. By sending the enlarged version *Points to a Rocket* into space, and having the ray refract its beams off a lens, thus... spreading it through the entire world! Thus... *Dramatic Pause* MAKING EVERYONE IN THE WORLD LIKE BOYBANDS!!!

Kyoko: And... how does that help you take over the world?

Halinder: DON'T YOU SEE?!!! BY CONTROLLING THE MEDIA, I CONTROL PUBLIC THOUGHT!!! I SHALL BE SUPREME EMPEROR OF THE WORLD!!! AND... *Dramatic Pause* I'LL BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO MY MUSIC ON THE RADIO WHENEVER I WANT TO!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Kyoko: You sick ****!

Halinder: I know... I'm evil, aren't I?

Kyoko: More like stupid. Why don't you try buying a CD Player or something.

Halinder: Well... ever since Napster got screwed up, I can't get free music... and *Draws in breath* EVIL NEVER PAYS FOR ANYTHING!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Kyoko: Eww... he got spittle on me.

Ms. Fandine: Um... Halinder...

Halinder: Yes?

Ms. Fandine: We have a noteable team in the tournament... *Shows Halinder a picture of the Garou Team plus Blue Mary* Should we make preparations?

Halinder: DAMNIT, WOMAN!!! YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO KILL A GOOD LAUGH!!! I don't want to fight them...

Ms. Fandine: But... um... it's tradition...

Halinder: Screw tradition! I am not taking on three guys and a striker just so I can show what a badass I am!

Ms. Fandine: You mean pansey.

Halinder: Quiet, Sheep Girl.

Then, something is heard... the sound of a car... as it...

*CRASH*

Breaks through the wall. Halinder and Ms. Fandine are sent flying out of the way, before rolling to a stop.

Yuki: I CAME, KYO!!!

Kyoko: *Burning ropes off* Great work!

Daimon: *To Yuki* Can we NOT do that again?

K: *Burns ropes off* Time for the finish, get up, Fool!

Shingo: Ahhhhhhhh... I can't use flames yet... wait... *Snaps the ropes off*

Benimaru: *Slips out of his restraints* Yare yare...

Halinder: Whose bright idea was it to use the cheap rope in the backroom instead of the NESTS approved restraints?

Agent 203: *Raises hand and smiles like an idiot*

Halinder: Remind me to kill you after we get done with them.

Agent 203: D'oh... *Drops head in shame*

Agent 105: Sir! We have a problem!

Halinder: *In a fighting stance* I can SEE that, Agent 105!

Agent 105: No... I mean, with the bands!

Halinder: *Turns his attention to her* What?!

Agent 105: It turns out some people are starting to massacre them!

Meanwhile...

Chaos is ensuing as fans are desperately trying to get out. On stage, Kyo Clones are strewn about like pieces of trash, some even torn in two.

Yashiro: THIS IS FOR COSTING ME THAT CONCERT LAST NIGHT IN TOKYO!!! *Smashes the heads of two of them together*

Chris: *After tossing a Kyo Clone into more Kyo Clones* YOU TELL THEM, YASHIRO!!!

Shermie: *Wraps her legs around one of the clone's head, spins, and slams them into the ground* Hee Hee Hee...

Yashiro: *Beating the carcass of a non-functional Kyo Clone* AND THIS IS FOR BEATING ME AT THE TOURNAMENT IN 97'!!! *Delivers a crushing blow to the body* AND THIS IS BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU!!! *Delivers a nasty kick to the groin area as he continues his assault*

Chris: He's passionate about his work... isn't he?

Shermie: You should see him in bed...

Chris: Ewwww! *Holds his hands up and closes his eyes* Get that image out of my head!

Back to the crew...

Halinder: Blast it! Why couldn't they have held out?!

Agent 105: It could have something to do with the fact that you never activated that portion of their memory. And thus, their fighting experience is... worth crap.

Halinder: SILENCE!!! *Looks at Kyoko and the others in their fighting stances* YOU SHALL ALL SUFFER... *Dramatic Pause* MY WRATH!!!

Shingo: *To Kyoko* Why do I feel like cheese now?

Kyoko: *To Shingo* Not sure...

Halinder: P|-|33|2 |\/|33333333!!!111!!!

Benimaru: Well... crap, he's a script kiddie to boot.

---

Halinder: 4|\||) |\|0\/\/!!! \/\/3 5|-|4|_|_ 533 \/\/|-|0 \/\/1|_|_ 5|_||2\/1\/3, 4|\||) \/\/|-|0 \/\/1|_|_ |3|215|-|!!!111!!!

Benimaru: Did you understand a word he said?

Shingo: Something about clowns?

Daimon: I don't like clowns.

Kyoko: No no... it was about bears...

Iori: I think it was something about l33t.

Kyoko: No no no... he said something about bears, I'm sure of it.

K: GUYS!!!

All turn to him.

K: He's basically saying one of us will survive, and the other will perish.

All look at him strangely.

K: What? I'm allowed to be fluent in l33tsp34k! Right?

Halinder: |_37'5 |=1G|-|7!!!111!!! *Pushes Ms. Fandine in front of him*

Ms. Fandine: Wha? *Points to herself* Me?!

Halinder: Don't worry... all final bosses have someone to cover their asses so that the final team is weakened for them to pic them off.

Ms. Fandine: Have you ever noticed a trend? Like... those final bosses all having their asses kicked?

Halinder: No... I can't say that I have noticed a trend... *Pushes Ms. Fandine outward* Knock em' dead, Sheepy!

Ms. Fandine: *Irritated* DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

Benimaru: I'll handle her.

Kyoko: You sure?

Benimaru: Easy bout... *Walks forward rotating his arm* Let's go, beautiful.

Ms. Fandine: It'll be my pleasure... *Gets into a fighting stance*

Benimaru: Well let's... *Gets a look of shock in his face and points to something* LOOK OUT!!!

Ms. Fandine: Huh? *Looks over her shoulder*

Benimaru: *Grabs a bucket of water and flings it at Ms. Fandine*

Ms. Fandine: I don't see anythiiiiiiiiiiiii *She is caught off guard and the water from the bucket splashes on her... turning her into...

A sheep.*

Ms. Fandine: Baaaaaaaaaah!

Daimon: So that's how he knew sheeps were tough...

Shingo: So... she turns into a sheep?

K: Apparently... *Considers his words* Um... I mean... whatever.

Ms. Fandine: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Halinder: *Hand on face* Damnit... is it too much to ask for a good pre boss person to fight for me?

Kyoko: Now it's your turn... um... um... what was your name again?

Halinder: HALINDER!!! DAMNIT!!! REMEMBER IT!!! FOR IT WILL BE...

Kyoko: The last name I'll ever hear... yeah yeah... I know I know...

Halinder: Ahhhhhhh... it's too cliche... isn't it?

Kyoko: Yup.

Halinder: Well... TIME TO DIE!!!

Kyoko: Ghaleon, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete.

Halinder: Ahhhhhhh... do you know how hard it is to come up with good pre- fight quotes?

Kyoko: Not really.

Halinder: It's pretty darn tootin' hard! *Get hit in the cheek by Benimaru* HEY!!! That was a cheap shot!

Iori: That's different...

Halinder: Okay... I think I have one now... 71|\/|3 70 74|3 4 |)1|27 |\|4|!!!111!!!

Kyoko: Unintellegible, but I think... original.

Halinder: |_37'5 G0, |315|-|0|_||\|3|\|!!!111!!!

Benimaru: Bring it on, Script Kiddie...

Halinder: *Points behind Benimaru with a shocked expression on his face* What's that!?

Benimaru: *Smiling* Heh... I'm not going to fall for THAT one... OOF!!! *Get knocked out by a dresser being carried by a Crane Machine*

Ms. Fandine: *From the pilot area of the Crane* Baaaaaaaaah!

---

Daimon: I guess that means I'm up.

Iori: I've got third.

Kyoko: I'll take it up after him.

K: I'll bring up the clutch. Shingo, you're striker.

Shingo: Wait... why do we have to take him on, one at a time? Couldn't we just attack him all at once and beat the daylights out of him?

Everyone else: .....

Iori: Shingo, shut up.

Shingo: *Whining* But I don't want to be striker! Kyo always steps on me doing his Orochi Nage!

Daimon: Quit your whining and hug his leg, Shingo!

Shingo: *Pouting* Oh alright... *Dives and catches Halinder's leg* Hit him hit him!

Halinder: Damnit! *Starts to shake his leg* First Dogs, then pigs... now fanboys! *Shakes some more* Off! Off!

Daimon: *Rolls in... on top of Shingo, as a crack is heard* HUUUYAH!!! *Lawnmowers Halinder, who gets back up*

Shingo: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARGH!!! Daimon-Sama... I think you stepped on my spleen! *Whimpers*

Halinder: Not bad... but I can one up that... *Takes out a remote control and presses a button as machine equipment comes down* BEHOLD!!!

Daimon: Heh... you think a little machinery will prevent me from tearing you a new ass... *The machinery blares out music and Daimon holds his ears* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY WEAKNESS!!! *He lays on the ground and convulses*

Halinder: YEAH!!! B****!!! \/\/|-|0'5 1337 |\|0\/\/!!!111???

Iori: Ikuze... *Gets into his fighting stance*

Halinder: Now it is your turn you little J-Rocker... ||23|4|23 |=0|2... *Gets Maiden Mashered* OW!!! I wasn't finished yet!

Iori: Baka... *Starts into a Talon Claw, into his Deadly Flower Combos*

Halinder: Ow ow ow OW!!! Damn J-Rocker... BEHOLD THE |_337 |0\/\/4|-| of my Pop Cannon... miniaturized! *Presses some buttons as another machine comes down and a small cannon folds out* WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... cough cough cough... hack sputter... cough... *Takes out a Cough Drop and eats it before the cannon starts firing... rapidly*

Iori spins and dodges and twirls and almost pirouettes... and then is hit in the back of the head with a safe... courtesy of...

Ms. Fandine: *Still a sheep operating a crane* Bah!

K: How can a sheep operate a crane?

Kyoko: Beats me... I'm up... *Steps up... and on top of Shingo* Ikuze...

Shingo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! KYO-SAMA!!! YOU'RE STEPPING ON MY SPINE!!!

Kyoko: Pay attention... cause this'll be quick...

---

Kyoko walks toward Halinder.

Halinder: So... what exactly are you going to do to me... little girl?

Kyoko mumbles something to herself and starts to go on the offensive. With a series of punches and aragamis, she manages to... miss Halinder a bunch of times before he uses her forward momentum to trip her and make her fall flat on her face.

Halinder: *Laughing and clutching at his sides* What's wrong? Can't keep your womanly grace, Kyoko?! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kyoko: Grrrrrrr... *Starts a Ceremony Slash 182 on Halinder, who glides to the side and lets her pass*

Halinder: My my my... what lousy accuracy you have... wench!

Kyoko: What?!

Yuki: Oh no... he did it now.

Kyoko: What did you just call me?

Halinder: Wench. Or would you prefer Harlot? Maybe Prostitute?

Kyoko: *Red in her eyes* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Flames shatter the windows of the building they're in as Kyoko expends a certain amount of ki energy.

Five minutes later of intense punching, kicking, and wiffing...

Kyoko: *Gasping, almost out of breath* Damn... damn... it...

Halinder: Are we done, little girl?

Kyoko: *Still panting* Damn... it... how... the... hell...

Halinder: *Standing proudly* You didn't know? I was voted most likely to dodge an attack out of cowardly actions in NESTS Training School.

Kyoko: *Sarcastically* Your parents must be very proud.

Halinder: Now... let me show you MY special attacks...

Kyoko: Well... ****.

Shingo: *Comes running in* KYOOOOOOOOOOOO-SAMAAAAAAA!!! *Dives and latches onto Halinder's leg* HIT HIM!!! HIT HIM!!!

Halinder: What the? NOT AGAIN!!! *Starts stomping on Shingo*

Kyoko: *Starts charging up her Orochi Nage* AHHHHHHHHHH... KOREDE OWARI DA!!! *Releases her Orochi Nage... which hits a captive Shingo* Oops...

Shingo: *Charred* Cough... sorry Kyoko-Sama... *Faints*

Kyoko: SHINGO!!! *Goes to his side* I'm sorry for this...

Halinder: Oh... how sweet... you two look like you would make a cute pair...

Kyoko: ..... *Clenches her fist*

Halinder: Oh? What are you going to do? Hit me? Like you could... *Gets kneed in the groin* Oof... *In a high pitched voice* That was dirty!

Kyoko: You hurt my friends... I can't forgive you for that.

Halinder: *Speaking more normally* Hmmmmm? Um... correction... I only actually got to hurt one of them, that big fellow... *Points to a convulsing Daimon* and to a lesser extent... Doormat Boy here... *Points to the charred Shingo* Ms. Fandine took care of Toothpick Boy and J-Rocker Punk. Oh, and you charred Doormat Boy yourself...

Kyoko: ..... Sir?

Halinder: Yes?

Kyoko: Shut up.

Halinder: Hee Hee... the wench told me to shut up... Hee Hee... Hee Hee... what is it... that time of the month again?

Yuki: Oh no he didn't.

Ms. Fandine: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Agent 105: Oh... he did it now... *Yelling* KICK HIS ASS FOR WOMANKIND, KYOKO!!!

Halinder: *Looking around* What? It's just simple trash talking. No harm in that... is there? *Turns to an infuriated Kyoko* Hmmmmm?

Kyoko: *Eyes glowing red* What... did... you... say?

Halinder: I said... *Doesn't even get to finish his sentence before he is socked in the kisser by a Mu Shiki* GAH!!! *Gets launched into a piece of machinery, denting the control panel or such*

Yuki: YOU DID IT!!! *Runs to Kyoko and jumps around her neck* YOU BEAT HIM!!!

K: *Pouting* Oh pooh... I don't even get a chance...

Slowly... Halinder begins to stir. He stands up fully before smiling... and eventually holding his back in pain.

Halinder: Damnit! I think I slipped a disc!

Behind him, the device begins to hum and start. A loud electrical sparkling is heard.

Halinder: *Looking behind himself sees the device malfunctioning* Well... crap... the control panel's messed up. *Turns to everyone else* DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!!!

K: Um... no?

Halinder: THIS WHOLE PLACE IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!

Kyoko: Um... don't all NESTS Devices/Bases/etc. do that?

Halinder: Well... yeah... but... um... this one will really really hurt! *Looks around* Agents 105 and 203, get the chopper ready! *Looks around some more* 105? 203?

Meanwhile...

Agent 105: *Flying helicopter* **** this! They don't pay me enough to hang out with weirdos!

Agent 203: *Still drooling over the Angel Foldout while sitting next to Agent 105* Eheheheh...

Agent 105: *Sighs* I can't win...

---

Terry, Joe, Mary, and Andy are all standing outside a complex as Kyo Clones are strewn about the place.

Blue Mary: This is horrible...

Joe: *Smiling* Not as bad as Terry singing karaoke...

Terry: Quiet Joe! And I told you, I was drunk when I did that.

Andy: I hope Mai doesn't mind not being able to come...

Blue Mary: Is it me, or is it actually getting hotter?

Meanwhile...

Mai: *With a voodoo doll of Blue Mary over a lighter* Take my place on the Garou Team and keep me from my Andy, will you? We'll just see about that... *Cackles evilly*

Back to the Garou Team...

Terry: Maybe it's just you...

A large explosion engulfs the complex in front of them.

Terry: WHOLEY CRAP!!! Joe... did you light a fart again?

Joe: *Holding a lighter behind his rear end* Um... no?

Andy: Um... wasn't that where we were supposed to meet that new boss of the tournament and fight him to the death?

Blue Mary: I guess we just go home now...

Joe: Mary! You're on fire!

Blue Mary: What? I didn't even do anything.

Terry: No... he means you're literally, on... fire.

Blue Mary: Hmmmm? *Looks at the seat of her pants and sees smoke rising from them* HOLY ****!!! *Tries to put herself out*

Joe: Here... let me... *Gets smacked*

Blue Mary: YOU ARE NOT PUTTING OUT MY ASS!!! PERVERT!!!

Terry: *Looks at the remains of the building* Does this mean I don't get to stay behind as you guys leave, thus reaffirming my status as a Lone Wolf?

Andy: It appears so...

Terry: Ahhhhhhhhh...

Andy: C'mon, bro. Let's put Mary out.

Blue Mary is still smacking Joe.

Blue Mary: I said... DON'T LAY YOUR DIRTY HANDS ON MY POSTERIOR!!! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!!!?

And so the complex was destroyed, and no one heard from Halinder, Ms. Fandine, OR the Kyo Team again... or did they?

---

On a desert island...

Halinder: *Getting up* Where am I? *Remembers somethings* Oh... yeah... got defeated by Kyoko... the Cannon blew up... *Comes to a realization* Damnit... I knew I shouldn't have built the design off of that Teleportation Ray that was still experimental... curses... CURSES!!!

???: Hey... mind keeping it down?

Halinder: Huh? *Sees a rather diminutive man with a coconut crown on* Who are you?

???: I am called King Paddle... and these... *Shows the rest of his tribe... a bunch of scantily clad and vertically challenged people* Are my subjects.

Halinder: Exactly what do you people... um... DO here, anyway?

King Paddle: What else? Play Pong!

Halinder: Pong?

King Paddle: Pong.

Subject 25: Ping!

Halinder: Um... uh... okay... *Looks around* Is there anyway off this island?

King Paddle: Sorry traveler, but we here have all taken an oath to never leave this island and fully dedicate ourselves to the Pong.

Halinder: Um... uh... what?

King Paddle: There is no way off this island. We used our boats for firewood.

Halinder: *In a long melodramatic cry* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

King Paddle: There there... traveler, come... play some Pong with us...

The King leads Halinder to a dark hut. There, they see... what else...

A pong machine.

Halinder: Um... how can that thing run without electricity?

King Paddle: We do not question the great Pong Machine, we only do its bidding.

Halinder: Bidding?

And so, Halinder lived his days with the Pong Tribe and honed his Pong Skills. He was not missed by NESTS.

***

Elsewhere... on a farm...

Ms. Fandine: *Waking up... as a sheep* Bah?

???: Ah, there you are! Farmer Jeb's been looking for you! *Snaps his suspenders on his overalls*

Ms. Fandine: Bah?

Farmer Jeb: And you know... it's that time of year again, right?

Ms. Fandine: Bah?

Farmer Jeb: *Takes out a large pair of shears* IT'S SHEARING TIME!!!

Ms. Fandine: *Her eyes going wide* BAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

And so, Ms. Fandine was sheared... much to her discomfort.

***

On yet another island... tropical this time...

Daimon: *Waking up* Where am I? *Sees a group of scantily clad and beautiful women*

Woman 1: He... He... Saved us!

Daimon: Huh?

Woman 2: *Approaching Daimon* Oh thank you great sir... you have killed the wicked Panty Demon for us with your magnificent body. How can we ever repay you?

Daimon: Huh? Me? Kill a Panty Demon?

Woman 3: *Points underneath Daimon* You squashed him under your great strength. That proves that you are the one prophecized in the Legends.

Daimon: Huh? *Looks under him and sees a big black greasy stain* Ewwww...

Woman 4: Come! Let us celebrate our great hero's coming! A festival of love in his honor!

The women raise Daimon over their heads and carry him to their home.

Daimon: Huh? Who are you girls?

Woman 4: We are the tribe of Oar Gee. We have been awaiting your arrival, good sir. And we shall celebrate in your honor for the deed you have performed for us!

Daimon: Uh... celebrate... how?

Woman 4: To the Festival of Love!

Daimon: Why does that make me blush?

And so, Daimon was carried to the village of Oar Gee, and they held a Festival of Love for their hero. The next day, everyone was too tired to do anything but cuddle. Use your imaginations here, people.

In a high rise apartment, Kagami is drawing a bath. He is in his underwear, yet, still holding onto his sword.

Kagami: Hmmm... not warm enough... *Looks around* Hmmm... *Puts a hand into the bath and bubbling is seem* Ah, perfect. *He is about to take to the bath until...

Benimaru: *Teleporting in* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARGH!!! *Falls into the bath, soaking Kagami in the process. He then surfaces from the bath* PHEW!!! Woah... what a ride... *Looks around and sees Kagami* Um... hey?

Kagami: *There is a sour expression on his face* I thought I told you vandals to leave my apartment alone.

Benimaru: Vandal? Wait! I'm no...

Kagami: *Interrupting while taking his sword out* Now I'll have to hurt you.

Few heard Benimaru's screams as the living snot was beaten out of him that day. When taken to the hospital eventually, the doctors wondered how someone could withstand a sword being inserted up their... um... posterior.

***

Shingo wakes up and looks up. As he gazes, he sees an image that catches his eye.

Shingo: It is... the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen...

Pan to an image of the face of Kyo, cut into a mountainside.

Shingo: KYOOOOOOOOOOOOO-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Camera pans out to show Shingo on an island that is in the shape of Kyo...

***

As for Iori...

Well, that's another story

***

Kyoko and Yuki awaken in some alleyway.

Kyoko: *Waking up* Ugh... Yuki? *Shakes Yuki's shoulder* Are you okay, Yuki?

Yuki: *Stirring* Yeah... *Gets up* Where are we?

Kyoko: *Dusting herself off* My guess is that we're somewhere in Tokyo... by the looks of it.

Yuki: Where is everyone else?

Kyoko: Don't know... but this definitely doesn't look like we were blasted off...

Yuki: You mean, someone moved us here?

Kyoko: Don't know... but... *Starts scratching her chest* I need some hot water to get out of this form.

Yuki: Kyo...

Kyoko: *Still scratching her chest* Hmmmm?

Yuki: Stop scratching your chest. It doesn't look... good.

Kyoko: *Stops* Oh... I guess you're right... sorry... didn't know who I was at the time...

Later...

Kyoko is sitting at an outdoor cafe. Yuki is walking toward her with a cup of hot water, a newspaper under her arm, and a cup of coffee.

Kyoko: Ooooo... gimme gimme! *Snatches a cup*

Yuki: It turns out you won't have to worry about those clones ruining your image anymore.

Kyoko: Why do you say that?

Yuki: *Shows the headline of the Newspaper "BOYBANDS SLAUGHTERED AT AIRPORT"* It just seems... unfulfilling. Who slaughtered them?

Kyoko: I would've thought that the explosion took them out.

Yuki: Nah... they only found them broken in two and so forth. Actually rather gruesome.

Kyoko: I guess I should thank whoever did that for me... I owe them my reputation.

Meanwhile...

Shermie, Yashiro, and Chris are sitting at a poker table.

Yashiro: I see you Hand, and raise you a foot. *Throws in a hand and a foot*

Chris: Ano... Yashiro-Sama? Don't you think that this game is pretty disturbing... *Looks at his own card hand* I fold.

Shermie: If you want, we could start playing with organs. Oh... I see your foot and raise you a head. *Plops down the head of a Kyo Clone*

Chris: *Head looking downward* I'll be good...

Yashiro: I see your head *Plops a head on the table* and I call.

Shermie: Full House.

Yashiro: Straight Flush! Yeah!

Back to the Cafe...

Kyoko: Anyhow... *Starts pouring the cup* I have to get back to being a guy... *Pours the contents of the cup onto herself* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARGH!!!

Yuki: Whoops... that was my coffee...

Kyoko is still female...

Yuki: Kyo-Chan? Um... you're still... a she.

Kyoko: What? *Looks down and sees that she is indeed... still a woman* Um... give me the hot water...

Yuki: Here... *Hands Kyoko the cup*

Kyoko: *Pours the contents on herself* OW!!! *Looks and sees that... she still hasn't changed* Why isn't it working?!

Yuki: You don't think...

Kyoko: The explosion?

Yuki: Maybe...

Kyoko: So... I'm... stuck... *Looks at herself as her breasts become evident through the wet t-shirt* like this? *Takes a deep breath* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *She starts to sob into her hands*

Yuki: There there, Kyo-Chan. *Starts to pat her on the shoulder* You still have me.

Kyoko: *Stops crying* Really? But won't people start thinking that... we're... ya'know...

Yuki: Lesbians? Let them think what they want to think! *She throws her arms around Kyoko* I know who I want, and just because he's now a she, doesn't mean I can't love her as much as I loved him.

Kyoko: You really mean that?

Yuki: Yup. Plus... *Smiles* We can go shopping together!

Kyoko: Um... uh... crap?

Yuki: *Giggles* It's not every day that a girl can make her boyfriend prettier... Tee Hee...

Kyoko: Shoot me now...

K walks by... smouldering.

K: Whatever...

---

And so ends this tale... but what will become of everyone? Is there another King of Fighters Tourney be in the works? Just what DO they do on the island of Oar Gee? And, what actually happened to Iori?

Sooner or later, things shall be revealed... but... as for now, so ends this tale, traveler.

THE END... For now...