I present you a Christmas-related one-shot. Merry Christmas, everyone!
It's the evening of December 17, only eight days until Christmas. There is currently a Christmas party going on at Vesper Fairchild's large house. Joining her is one of her few closest friends, Selina Kyle - daughter of Brian and Maria Kyle and successful corporate CEO of Kyle Enterprises. Unbeknownst to the public, she leads a double life as Catwoman, the Guardian of Gotham, to avenge the deaths of her parents. Right now, Selina is enjoying herself at the moment, wearing a strapless purple dress with a slit on the right and high-heeled pumps, sporting pearl earrings and a diamond necklace, and she has her long dark hair up in a tight bun.
"So tell me Selina, what does Gotham's eligible bachelorette have planned for the holidays? Skiing in the Alps? Sunning in the Bahamas? And more importantly, which guy's she gonna take?" Vesper asked, holding a glass of champagne. Vesper is a green-eyed redhead in a strapless red dress that reach down the floor, also has her hair up in a bun.
"Actually Vesper, I was planning on a quiet Christmas alone." Selina stated. She always prefers to be alone.
"Really?" Vesper smiled, "I wouldn't tell them that!"
"'Them' who?" Selina asked. Vesper merely gestures her drink in the direction pass Selina.
"Hey Selina!" Selina was startled by the unison call of a group of rather handsome men. A blue-eyed blond with a goatee; a brunette, a raven-haired Asian, a green-eyed redhead, and an African-American with a mustache.
"You're standing under the mistletoe!" the blond guy said. Selina looks up to see there actually is a mistletoe above her head. Nervous, Selina walks off to the hallway, with the men marching after her. Vesper just leans on the way, enjoying the show. "Cheers!" she said, raising her glass.
"Now guys, come on. This is unbecoming." Selina said, backing into a dark room. She accidentally bumps into someone. She turned to see a woman, but her face was obscured by the shadows.
"Sorry miss, I-" Selina tried to apologize, but the woman suddenly grabs her head and press her lips into Selina's. It was only a few seconds, but to Selina, it seems like an eternity. This strange woman even slips her tongue into Selina's mouth, wresting her tongue. Selina felt a warmth that went all the way down to her loins. The strange woman lets her go and disappears into the shadows, leaving a rather wide-eyed Selina. The men caught up with her, admiring her beauty and attempting to court her.
Later in the evening, Selina puts on her furcoat and heads out the door. Her male admirers wave to her and saying their goodbyes and "Merry Christmas". One guy even says "Marry me!"
"I thought I'd never get out of there." Selina thought, as she heads to her car that's parked nearby, planning to go home.
"May we give you a ride, Ms. Kyle?" a woman with a rather sensually husky voice asked her from inside a limo Selina just walked by.
"No thanks, I have my own car." Selina answered.
"Are you sure?" another feminine voice asked, only this one's much higher, and with a certain accent. Upon hearing it, Selina suddenly stops at her tracks and feels as though something is pulling her. Drawing her back to that limo. The window draws down, Selina looks in, and to her shock it's the Queens of Crime - Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Ivy has long silky red hair, green eyes, and rather pale green skin; she's wearing a leafy green leotard, with green leggings, green gloves, and green thigh-high high-heeled boots. Harley is dressed in a rather skimpy nurse outfit, with a nurse cap, fishnet stockings, and thigh-high high-heeled boots. She has her blonde hair in pigtails, her left pigtail is black and her right is red. Her left boot is red while the right is black.
"Season's greetings, Sel. Your two favorite party girls are out for some Christmas fun." Ivy declared. She and Harley pulled Selina in through the window, then the limo drives away from Fairchild's estate. Selina finds herself sitting at the back of the limo with the Queens of Crime who wrap themselves around her.
"It's like this, sweetie," Ivy explained, as she rubs Selina's bare leg, "We're two lonely gals desperate for Yuletide fun!"
"So Ivy zapped you with her special lipstick back at the party." Harley said.
"Now we got Gotham's most beautiful, wealthiest socialite to treat us to a holiday shopping spree." Ivy said.
"Step on it, Abigail." Harley ordered their female chauffeur.
Selina noticed Abigail has dark red lipstick on her right cheek, and a tranced look on her face.
"Yes, ma'am."
They head to the city and their first stop is the Shreck's Department Store. Abigail gets out to open the door for the women. She just pulled the handle when Harley pushed the door, knocking down the driver.
Ivy and Harley each lock arms with Selina, who's stuck in the middle as they head inside. Abigail is still on the ground unresponsive.
The shoppers are shocked seeing the most richest woman in Gotham accompanied by two of the most notorious criminals.
"Ahhh, billionaires! Don't leave home without 'em!" Harley declared.
The managar approaches them. "Excuse me, Ms. Kyle - is there a problem? No offense, madam, but your companions..."
"Ms. Isley and Ms. Quinzel are my guests. Please put their purchases on my account." Selina reluctantly said, as the lipstick is still controlling every inch of her body, but not her temper.
"Woo-pie! Race you to the shoes department, Red!" Harley said, as they run through the store.
"You're on!" Ivy said.
Selina reluctantly follows them.
So Harley and Ivy went out and buy every and any clothing they set their eyes on. Try on the latest perfume, though Harley is putting on a little too much. Wearing the most exquisite jewelry. Harley even buys some toys.
While the Queens of Crime enjoy themselves, Selina is miserable as she's forced to put her signature on each purchase. Each item is more and more pricey, Selina grimaces as one particular jewelry is $1,000,000. She wants to strangle their little necks right now.
Miraculously, due to her training, she tries to come out of the lipstick's control, but Harley and Ivy caught notice and reapply lipstick to kiss her. Embarrassingly for Selina, always in public.
First, while at the jewelry department, Selina begins to fight the lipstick's control. Ivy immediately noticed, "Hmm, looks like she's trying to fight off the drug. Can't have that. Give him another shot." She hands her the lipstick to Harley, who applies it, and ran up to her and gives her a big one on the lips. Harley squeezed Selina's butt while she's at it, knowing everyone is starting.
"This is the best Christmas ever, huh Paul?" a gawking skinny young man with glasses and light brown hair told his friend.
"You said it, Bruce." Paul, a short stocky young man with glasses, answered, while he records this with his iPhone.
Second, Selina sneaks into a dressing room and close the curtains to try and signal her Catmobile. But then, Ivy opens the curtains and backs Selina to the wall as she smothers her with her kisses, and puts her hand through the slit of Selina's dress to rub her clit. They're noticed by a mother and daughter, the latter was no more than 6. The girl just stared at them, while the mother was furious at such display. "Shame on you two! And during the holidays!" she ranted. "You should try it sometimes, honey!" Ivy called to the homophobic woman. Unbeknownst to her, their intimate moment will leave an impression on daughter's mind for the rest of her life.
At one point, they walk by a rather nice Christmas tree. It caught Harley's eye. "Please!" she begged Ivy.
"No!" Ivy yelled, grabbing Harley's left pigtail and pulls her away from it. She told Harley earlier that Christmas trees supports the mad campaign the botanical genocide that grips the country every December. She also didn't get why Harley wants a tree since she's Jewish, but Harley said because they're bright and colorful.
They arrived at the top floor by elevator. Ivy comes out in her new furcoat not unlike Selina's, and a pretty diamond earring on her right ring finger. Harley carries a stuffed giraffe and licking a cheery lollipop. "Step lively there, Sel." Ivy ordered. Selina follows, forced to carry their packages and bags.
"Yeah, three more floors to go." Harley said, "Look, pianos!"
"Alright, I've... just... about... had it!" Selina yelled, straining to regain control of the situation.
"I think the stuff is wearing off again." Harley said.
"Well, give her another shot." Ivy hands Harley her lipstick. Harley puts it on.
"Right-a-roonie! Give me some sugar, sweetcheeks!" Harley approaches Selina, ready to give her another big one.
"No!" Selina panics, dropping the gifts, and backing away from her. "Not again, please!"
"Come on, Sel. You know you wanna!"
Selina unknowingly gets back into another elevator, which is out of order. She bumps into the sign, making her trip and apparently fall into her death.
"OMIGOD! OMIGOD!" Harley freaked.
"What?! What happened?" Ivy asked. They both looked down as Selina screams fade. "You see her?"
"No. We... we killed her." Harley distraught, then just strugs. "Oh well."
"We were gonna kill her anyway." Ivy said.
"Yeah, no big loss. We got all her credit cards. What's to worry?" Harley asked, holding Selina's cards up. "Still, she's a damn good kisser."
"You know it, honey." Ivy smiled. The two walk away, unaware a clawed glove emerged from the open dismantled elevator.
Soon, Ivy and Harley's limo leaves the store. They didn't see the Catmobile parked in front of the store, and a shadowy figured jumped into the cockpit, and follows the limo. The two are laughing at Selina's apparent demise.
"I wish I coulda seen the look on her face when she hit rock bottom!" Harley chides.
"Priceless! So, where to now?" Ivy asked Harley.
"Any place is fine by me, as long as its away from that girl." Harley answered. Ivy's eyes widened, that could only mean one thing. They both look out through the back window and screamed. Catwoman is following them.
"Quick! In the toy store!" Ivy grabbed the wheel from the driver and they crashed into the Kranky Toys store.
The Catmobile stops, and Catwoman comes out. She's dressed in tight purple leather, so form-fitting it revealed every curve of her body. Her chest was protected by a black kevlar corset, and she wore thigh-high stiletto boots to assist her in gravity-defying gymanstic tumbles and leaps. Catwoman carries a whip, her features are obscured by a black leather mask that revealed only the white slits of her eyes. Her hair flows from behind her heads inside the store, passing the limo as the driver appears to be coming to. Catwoman pulls out a flashlight and searches the area. The store is closed, so the lights are out. She heard something coming down. She jumped out of the way and sees its a life-sized toy soldier. She looks up to see Ivy and Harley standing all the way to the top of a citadel of toys.
"I'll bet you've been a good little catgirl this year! Unfortunately, Harley and I are still on the naughty list!" Ivy said.
Harley turns around and hikes her skirt up to show her rear at Catwoman, making sure she gets a good peak at her panties and garters. "Come on up and get your present, baby!"
Not to back down a challenge, Catwoman climbs up the tower. But she has to be cautious, as she still hasn't completely shaken off Ivy's drug. Reaching the top, Catwoman finds Poison Ivy wearing a boxing glove.
"Merry Christmas, darling!" Ivy socks it to Catwoman. Falling, Catwoman quickly grabs a ledge. She climbs up, then Harley sneaks behind her.
"Happy Hanukah, bitch!" Harley punctuated with a large wooden sledgehammer. Completely knocked out, Catwoman descends onto a pile of toys. Ivy and Harley hop down the tower as Catwoman gets herself up.
"Aww, gee Harley, you broke our new toy." Ivy faux whined. The two then dance their way to the exit, mockingly wave Catwoman goodbye.
"Bye bye, Miss Kitty!" Harley said, as she prances off.
Thinking quickly, Catwoman uses her whip to snag the base of a massive Christmas tree, and yanks it with all her might. Ivy and Harley noticed a large shadow looming over them. They turned around to see the large tree descending towards them. All they could do is just cling into each other and scream. Catwoman walks towards them.
"And a Happy New Year, ladies." Catwoman smirked triumphantly.
"Well, here's your FUCKING tree! Happy now?!" Ivy scold at Harley.
"Yeah..." Harley replied, still glad in spite of all this, as a purple ball ornament lands on her head.
Author's Notes:
As you may have already guessed this was inspired by "The Harley and the Ivy" segment from The New Batman Adventures episode "Holiday Knights" and The Batman Adventures Holiday Special comic it was based on, and the Elseworlds comic Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham.
Selina's friendship with Vesper Fairchild came from Nos4a2no9's fanfic Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham.
The title is a reference to Gotham City Sirens, which refers to the trio of Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn, as well as the comics they were featured in.
Poison Ivy's design is based on the one in Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Harley's costume, of course, is based on the one she wore in the Batman Arkham video games.
Abigail dresses like Mercy Graves from Superman: The Animated Series.
Shreck's department store is from Batman Returns. Ironic, since in that movie Selina was its owner Max Shreck's secretary. Likewise, "Miss Kitty" is a reference to Catwoman's black cat.
In case you haven't guessed it, those two nerdy perverts are based on Bruce Timm and Paul Dini, the creators of Batman: The Animated Series, as well as the entire DCAU.
The mother and daughter are supposed to be the ones Batman saved from a crashing car in the "White Christmas" segment in The Batman Adventures Holiday Special comic.
Kranky Toys is a reference to Krank Co, a toy company owned by Cosmo Krank who ends up as the villain Toymaker from The Batman.