Disclaimer: I don't own Gravi. Poor me.
Warnings: Angst, Shounen ai, Suicidal thoughts.
Notes: This isn't my fic, it's by a friend, but she asked me to post it on my account. Go Meenz!! ^^
Fade Away
by Mina
It's late.....I wonder what he's doing..... I should go see him....... ..no, no he wouldn't want that..... would he..... Sitting on the couch... it's late... and I'm just sitting here... I haven't moved for who knows how long.. Something's wrong with me...
A figure walks into the room. I'm too out of it to lift my head, but I know who it is. "Why don't you go take a bath? I've started the water already. I'm sure it'll help you to feel better." Water...? there's water running...? Weird. Why didn't I hear it before now? .. ....Maybe he's right. I slowly got up, completely ignoring the figure as it moves to the side to let me pass into the bathroom. I remove my clothes and step into the warm water, sitting down in the exact same position as I had been on the couch, knees tucked tightly to my chest. I can't stop thinking. That's all I've done all day. Think, think, think.. Endless thoughts, half of them I can't even understand, but they keep running through my mind, never stopping, never concluding.. Why me.. Why me, why me, why me, why do these things have to happen to me? Why, why, why.. Why..... He's right.. I do always ask "why".. But why did he care... There I go again.. He's right, again.. I am a fool... ... baka... I'm crying.. Why am i crying... sigh... I don't understand...
I lean back, the tips of the back of my hair skimming the water just barely. Does he really not care about me? is he using me? is he toying with me...? Why would he do that.... He wouldn't... Would he...? Why doesn't he just lock me out..? or act as if I'm not there...? Does he enjoy hurting me like this.... ..?
I slowly turn around and lean my head into the water, blocking out the faint sound of the guitar playing outside the bathroom door. I stayed under the water..... ..... One minute... He probably doesn't even care if I'm alive or dead..... Two minutes... Maybe that's the answer.. maybe he would be better off, not having me around... Three minutes.. The guitar playing gets louder, I can hear it, but the sound is fading rapidly, not because the playing is getting quieter, it's most likely getting louder but I can hardly hear it now. I just don't care anymore. Everything is fading, my eyesight is getting blurry and I don't think I can hold my breath much longer. Am I even holding my breath right now..? I can't tell anymore.. Suddenly, everything stops. No sound, no sight, no heartbeat. For one second, nothing is working. But that was all I needed. I threw my head above the water, breathing heavily. I slowly get my hearing back, but I don't hear the guitar playing from outside the bathroom door any longer. I only hear the dripping of water coming from the tips of my hair. Splash, splash, splash. ...I can't die. He wouldn't want me to die, I know it. He wouldn't want me to die, not because of him at least.
I release the water from the captivity of the tub and slowly stand up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist, and another towel to dry my hair quickly. I open the bathroom door, taking a step or two. Someone is behind me. ...My best friend. Always watching over me. Thank god he's around, I don't know what I'd do without him. "Are you all right?" He asks me, and I just stand there. I think for a moment, and answer simply, "Hai." I start walking again, but strong arms wrap around my shoulders pulling me into a gentle embrace. "Take better care of yourself." I smile and turn my head to face him. "I'm fine, Hiro. I'm fine." I push his arms away and walk into my room, closing the door behind me. the last thing I hear before the door closes shut, "Shuichi...."
~*~
Ne, Mina thinks this sucks, but I don't. It doesn't, right?? Tell us!!
Warnings: Angst, Shounen ai, Suicidal thoughts.
Notes: This isn't my fic, it's by a friend, but she asked me to post it on my account. Go Meenz!! ^^
Fade Away
by Mina
It's late.....I wonder what he's doing..... I should go see him....... ..no, no he wouldn't want that..... would he..... Sitting on the couch... it's late... and I'm just sitting here... I haven't moved for who knows how long.. Something's wrong with me...
A figure walks into the room. I'm too out of it to lift my head, but I know who it is. "Why don't you go take a bath? I've started the water already. I'm sure it'll help you to feel better." Water...? there's water running...? Weird. Why didn't I hear it before now? .. ....Maybe he's right. I slowly got up, completely ignoring the figure as it moves to the side to let me pass into the bathroom. I remove my clothes and step into the warm water, sitting down in the exact same position as I had been on the couch, knees tucked tightly to my chest. I can't stop thinking. That's all I've done all day. Think, think, think.. Endless thoughts, half of them I can't even understand, but they keep running through my mind, never stopping, never concluding.. Why me.. Why me, why me, why me, why do these things have to happen to me? Why, why, why.. Why..... He's right.. I do always ask "why".. But why did he care... There I go again.. He's right, again.. I am a fool... ... baka... I'm crying.. Why am i crying... sigh... I don't understand...
I lean back, the tips of the back of my hair skimming the water just barely. Does he really not care about me? is he using me? is he toying with me...? Why would he do that.... He wouldn't... Would he...? Why doesn't he just lock me out..? or act as if I'm not there...? Does he enjoy hurting me like this.... ..?
I slowly turn around and lean my head into the water, blocking out the faint sound of the guitar playing outside the bathroom door. I stayed under the water..... ..... One minute... He probably doesn't even care if I'm alive or dead..... Two minutes... Maybe that's the answer.. maybe he would be better off, not having me around... Three minutes.. The guitar playing gets louder, I can hear it, but the sound is fading rapidly, not because the playing is getting quieter, it's most likely getting louder but I can hardly hear it now. I just don't care anymore. Everything is fading, my eyesight is getting blurry and I don't think I can hold my breath much longer. Am I even holding my breath right now..? I can't tell anymore.. Suddenly, everything stops. No sound, no sight, no heartbeat. For one second, nothing is working. But that was all I needed. I threw my head above the water, breathing heavily. I slowly get my hearing back, but I don't hear the guitar playing from outside the bathroom door any longer. I only hear the dripping of water coming from the tips of my hair. Splash, splash, splash. ...I can't die. He wouldn't want me to die, I know it. He wouldn't want me to die, not because of him at least.
I release the water from the captivity of the tub and slowly stand up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist, and another towel to dry my hair quickly. I open the bathroom door, taking a step or two. Someone is behind me. ...My best friend. Always watching over me. Thank god he's around, I don't know what I'd do without him. "Are you all right?" He asks me, and I just stand there. I think for a moment, and answer simply, "Hai." I start walking again, but strong arms wrap around my shoulders pulling me into a gentle embrace. "Take better care of yourself." I smile and turn my head to face him. "I'm fine, Hiro. I'm fine." I push his arms away and walk into my room, closing the door behind me. the last thing I hear before the door closes shut, "Shuichi...."
~*~
Ne, Mina thinks this sucks, but I don't. It doesn't, right?? Tell us!!