First Came Love
By Lady of Spain
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein, are the property of S. Meyer.
Chapter 1: A Ring on her Finger
Bella was surprised when Jacob asked her in front of all of La Push to be his wife. She surprised herself when she heard Yes escape her lips. He was legal age now, but they still wanted to wait another six months before tying the knot. What's six months, right?
Jacob's ring sparkled up at her as she sat on the edge of her bed contemplating how her life would change. The last ring she wore on that finger weighed a ton—on her finger and on her mind. This little piece of jewelry—which by the way dwarfed in comparison to Edward's—was a symbol of Jacob's love. He saved up for months, doing odd jobs unbeknownst to Bella, so he could pay for it in cash. He sorely needed new tires for his motorcycle, but instead spent it on this little circle of gold. It displayed a series of four x's and three o's, the center O being a black diamond framed by the extended branches of the x's on either side. The other two smaller diamonds were placed between the remaining x's. She loved it. She loved Jacob. She loved the thought of waking up next to him each and every morning for the rest of her life.
During the first three months following her engagement it was getting harder and harder to put off the physical urges that faced them on a daily basis. Bella was the one to complain the loudest.
One night they were on Billy's couch, entwined around each other like a wisteria vine, kissing every exposed piece of skin they could find. Hands and legs were every which way. Bella felt like she was about to spontaneously combust. Jacob felt like a powder keg threatening to explode, but underneath it all was a gnawing worry inside his head.
Her breath came in short pants. "What are we waiting for, Jake? We're engaged for Pete's sake. I can't stand this much longer."
"Jeez, I know Bells, believe me—this is killing me too. When I get so hot and bothered like this I . . ." he trailed off. Jacob looked at her, a blush rising in his cheeks. "C'mon, Bells help me out here. It's tough to talk to you about guy stuff."
Bella grinned, "It's nice to see you get embarrassed for a change. I like seeing you squirm."
Jacob looked up at the ceiling. "God, I'm marrying a sadist!"
He sat up, pulling her with him. "C'mon, give me your hand—let's go for a stroll. I guess now's as good a time as any to have this talk."
They walked in silence, hand in hand along the shore. They finally stopped at the bench where they first met, and where they always had their most difficult conversations. Bella heard him exhale a big sigh, as they sat down.
His warm ebony eyes gazed into hers as he explained, "I hate to say this, Bells, but maybe we should cool it for awhile."
Bella's body stiffened momentarily in amazement. "Are you saying we should stay away from each other until the wedding?"
"God, Bells, no—I'd die if I couldn't see or touch you. I'm just saying that we ought to be around people so we don't get so carried away."
Bella frowned. "What if I want to get carried away?"
"That's just it . . . I don't want you to give up your goals in life for what you want right now. What if we got careless and you got pregnant? I'd never forgive myself and neither would you. I don't want you to hate me for ruining your life." He looked down kicking away at the loose stones under his feet. He glanced up in time to see Bella roll her eyes at him.
"You could never ruin my life, Jacob—you are my life. Anyway, there's plenty of protection available."
His face clouded over. "Why don't you ask my cousin Naya how well her protection worked? Little Danny will be 2 yrs old in December. All her dreams crumbled to nothing. She loves the little guy, I'm sure, but she could have given him so much more if she had finished school."
"I'm sure we won't make that kind of mistake. Even if we did—it would be hard, but we could still reach our goals."
"But I don't want our life together to be any harder than it needs to be. Don't you get it? Right now, I'm like a tinder box, ready to flare up, and when I sense that you are too, it just makes it that much harder to control myself. It's to the point now that just seeing you makes my wolf run wild, especially if we spend too much time alone together."
He let out another frustrated sigh. "What do you think we should do Bells?"
"Well, how about double dating with Quil or Embry," Bella offered. "They could serve as chaperones." She tilted her head and shrugged.
"Oh, right—that'd work. We'd wind up chaperoning Quil, and Embry has to beg to even get a date. He's so backwards around women."
"As opposed to you? You were so forward, you nearly scared me away."
Jacob gazed at her, incredulous, "You know that was just put on now though, right?"
"If you say so."
He blew out the air he was holding, puffing out his cheeks. "I say so . . . you still make me nervous."
Jacob looked away from those beautiful brown eyes that were scrutinizing him just now. He started fingering the symbol of his commitment that adorned her finger.
Bella's female intuition was piqued. She placed the index finger of her other hand under his chin and lifted it up so that he had to face her. "Jake, what is this really about? You know you can tell me anything."
"Bella . . . Jeez . . . How can I put this? It's just . . . just really hard being a male and having these hormones raging through my blood like a freakin' drug. It makes it so difficult to control my behavior sometimes. Just seeing you in a pair of shorts . . . it literally ignites me physically. I have to fight these impulses every damn day. It's so frustrating having to bottle it up all the time—this innate need for the wolf in me to mate.
"Your touch or even the sight of you pushes me over the edge—BAM! I'm a goner! I guess you should be disgusted with me, huh?"
"As much as I'm disgusted with the sun coming up over the horizon or the rain falling. It's nature, Jake. Let me ask you a question. Does having my period disgust you?"
"No, of course not." That was a silly question.
"Well, why not?"
He had to think about that before answering. His brow was knit in concentration. "'Cuz you're a woman, and that's how women are, I guess."
"Exactly—so there you have it."
"But I'm so scared, Bells. I've never been with a woman before. What if I can't perform? What if I hurt you or disappoint you. I won't know what the hell I'm doing."
"Have you talked to your dad about it?" She sensed that this was really preying on his mind.
"Yeah, that was real helpful. He told me to do what comes naturally. If I did that, you'd be a corpse on your wedding night." He shook his head with disgust.
Bella smiled at him, as she twisted a piece of hair around her index finger. "Emily says she'll lend me a book about sex; if you read it too, that should calm your nerves. And for Pete's sake, go talk to Sam.
"You know, Jake, you're not the only one here that's nervous. But you know what they say about Native American men?"
"Yeah?"
Bells grinned from ear to ear, "That they make the best lovers."
"Thanks a lot, Bells, That's sooo reassuring. Now I have that image to live up to—as if I'm not under enough pressure."
Hesitating, she thought about what she could say to reassure him. "You only have to live up to yourself. I'll tell you what I want, so how can you go wrong? There is one thing though that I was really worried about."
"What's that?"
"The heat—I'm sure the first time is going to hurt, but being skewered with a red hot poker was a little scary. So, I spoke to Emily and she did an experiment for me. She told Sam that she wanted to see how hot he could get when they made love. As soon as he started to get amorous, she put one of those fever strips on him. And guess what happened? His temperature actually dropped to 99.6. She also told me that in the last couple of years, his body temperature has slowly decreased. He usually runs about 107 these days."
"I worried about that too. I did talk to Sam about it; he said that Emily had no complaints. He didn't tell me that she monitored his temperature though. Damn, you females are so sneaky."
"Hey, if we're going to get married, I want the facts."
"Okay, you made me feel a little better," he added sheepishly. "How soon can I borrow that book?"
"I'll get it to you sometime this week."
Jacob looked thoughtful for a minute. "Man, I think sex is the biggest joke ever perpetrated on man. What was God thinking?"
Bella smiled, knowingly. "He just wanted us to learn how to share our love and trust each other; but especially to treat one another with respect."
"I knew that smart women were the best. God, I love you. C'mere." He held her in a warm embrace and with a lingering kiss said a mouthful.