Authors note: Hello Jagan people :). I was in Hollister today when I over heard two girls talking about these two boys. I don't know what held me back by by god, I was over the moon!
This is a Facebook page inspired story. The page had nothing to do with Jagan (obviously) but well, I made it Jagan. The idea started out perfect but somehow, it turned itself into crap.
Three writer blocks late and I'm somewhat satisfied with this. Not entirely though because, to be honest, once I get writers block, there is no true way of getting around it.
The italics is Logan's point of view. Well, sorta...
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I never have and I'm pretty sure that I never will.
James remembers the first time his life started to revolve around beauty. How important it was to make sure his complexion was at its best and that his clothes flattered each and every one of his flawless features.
He'd deny doing it to impress the reason.
The 7 year old James skipped into school feeling right as rein, hockey stick clasped between pudgy hands as he made his way onto the sports field.
The hard-headed Kendall had won him and his two best friends (James and Carlos) a chance at competing for the schools hockey team.
Being fine players of the sport themselves, the fact the opportunity had arisen was phenomenal.
"Right." The coach exasperated, putting his well needed cup of coffee down to bring his hands together and go through the training plan, "Pairs. I'm going to pair you up randomly and then you'll have a play off. Demonstrating your strengths and weaknesses will help me help you improve. Also, I know who to throw in goal this way."
After watching a few kids battle it out for the ball and on one occasion, catching Kendall slaughter a kid, James was finally up.
"James Diamond and Logan Mitchell, up and at 'em please."
A hushed whisper made its way through the crowd of kids as a small dark haired boy put his book aside, picked up his hockey stick and made his way over to the designated area.
The fact half of the kids were laughing at the boy for the reason he thought he would actually be able to play had confidence arising in the little James as he made his way over to join this so called Logan.
After a quick blow of the whistle, James was in and battling his opponent for the ball.
Little did he know till he was on the floor and watching him score that Logan wasn't quite what he seemed to be.
This little bookworm was extremely strong.
Although, the others didn't believe this as when he made his way back over to the bench, they were taunting him.
Carlos followed in suit as he continued to push James and make rude, snarky comments.
This went on until Kendall came over with the boy, laughing and hitting him in the arm as James was forced into being introduced.
"James, Logan. Logan, James." Kendall grinned, walking away to let the boys introduce themselves properly.
"Hi..." James grumbled, ignoring the hand he was given to shake.
"Hi James. You have beautiful eyes."
Woke up this morning with eggs on toast,
I was still stuck in a book I shouldn't even know.
Made my way to a new school,
I was expecting more than this many to be cruel.
You thought I couldn't, I proved I could.
I realised it wasn't fury when that first spark flew.
But before you go to your home and I got to mine,
I just want you to know that you have beautiful eyes.
So, that's when James started to look more into himself.
That was when he went to his mother for advice on how to look his best.
Being a woman of cosmetics herself, she didn't see the harm in helping out her seven year old son.
The fact Logan had officially moved to the school made everyday a little more fun.
He soon lost his baby fat, washboard abs replacing it in style.
But Logan didn't show the same interest anymore, he was too busy playing with his and James' new friends or studying for something that he wasn't even taking.
Years went on and he was welcomed into the friendship group with open arms.
Not that James minded, it was nice to have someone around that wasn't borderline ADHD like Carlos or too anti-authoritarian like Kendall.
Although, he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to hear how great his eyes were one more time.
A new dream had made itself present. Well, it had always been there but after one careers day when a sweet lady had asked James what he had wanted to be when he grew up and rock star had been the first thing that had came to mind, he knew then on what he was destined to be.
So, when gloating about his future success one day to be interrupted by breaking news, James was straight on the case of fulfilling this well know dream with this one opportunity.
Unfortunately, once again, the almighty Kendall had been given this opportunity and it did kinda surprise James when Logan fell straight into this, loving and adoring each and every word that fell from Kendall. Which was funny because it sounded like betrayal and hate to James.
James was a little grateful, although the fact Logan didn't show that spark of interest towards him did make James envy Kendall a little bit.
"Hey Kendall, I can't believe you actually have us going to LA!" Logan beamed, the excitement Carlos was practically bleeding seeming to rub off on Logan somehow.
"Yup, my temper seems to have sent us to LA. And you guys said I needed anger management." Kendall smirked, smugness present and he held his chest high.
"You do." James grumbled, not liking the fact Kendall was stealing his spotlight.
"No way, we need that temper. Kendall, thank you for being you."
Logan didn't see the jealousy that bubbled up in the pretty boy.
You're going to be my temporary family,
I guess this celebration calls for a brandy.
I'm happy we're all growing up,
The success we'll all bring will never be enough.
Live it large before we're forced to get serious,
Our crazy outlook is the cause of this dizziness.
Only a few days into their stay at the Palm Woods and Logan was already finding other girls more interesting than his own friends.
Not that any of them wanted that same kind of interest.
Well, James didn't want that interest from Logan but well, he didn't know what he wanted.
Watching him look into Camille's eyes with affection and slight terror had a weird feeling boiling in the pit of James' stomach.
So what if Logan didn't want Camille yet? She'd soon draw him in.
He did somewhat really hate having to help Logan out when it came to getting a date but nevertheless, he felt it was his duty.
"I've never asked a girl out before!"
Of course he hadn't. With them big brown eyes and that gorgeous smile, who the hell would wait for him to take the first interest?
"Dude, don't worry. I have this."
Logan finally got his way and surprisingly, he didn't go on to ignore his friends as much as Kendall had done with Jo.
Although for some strange (totally non-gay) reason, James still felt isolated.
And continued to feel like this up to the point of one day, when sitting at a poolside table discussing girls with the two sickening lovebirds and Carlos to low and behold, find out Camille needed an acting partner.
James went crazy.
James was a natural, he knew it, she knew it, he wasn't sure if Logan quite knew it but well, who cared?
"I am in! Give me an hour to adsorb the script and get into character!" James jumped, already in uniform as he snatched said item from Camille and made his way through the lobby, stopping off to annoy Kendall just the once for good measure.
It weren't till he was locking mouths with Camille that he realised whatever intention had sprung to mind when it came to keeping this best friend stealing whore away was a total and utter fail.
Although, for some strange reason, Logan didn't agree or, maybe he had for a second but Logan 's indifferent attitude had saved him from a black eye.
Logan chose to just get all grouchy and annoyed whenever James was around.
The spit ball contest didn't even spark enough interest from the boy.
Just a game.
Sometimes you confuse me beyond belief,
At times I wonder if you're worth the grief.
You bother me so much,
Your constant vanity stops me from opening up.
She's her own person but you're my friend,
Maybe you are a good actor but we can all pretend.
So the break up wasn't official.
Well, Logan said it was.
The rest of the Palm Woods on the other hand...
Logan went on with his daily life.
The cool, loveable bookworm didn't change any of his habits as he tried to "handle the heartbreak".
No matter how cool, no matter how loveable, it really did surprise James when Logan stumbled in one night, the potent smell of booze following him.
"Heyyyy!" Logan sang, joining his quiet friend on the sofa.
"It smells like... Dude, have you been drinking?" James retaliated, moving away to cover his disgusted nose.
"You got me!" Logan confessed, hands held up in front of him as he closed the gap James had made.
"I think you should go to bed Logan."
James would normally be up for a good ol' drunken conversation because well, with video camera and a easily persuaded friend, the laughs were endless.
But right now, watching his friend struggle to breath wouldn't have been a good thing to keep on tape. That wasn't a nice thing to relive when he watched it later.
Especially the one friend who would flinch at the mentioning of an alcoholic beverage.
But James wasn't one to judge.
"Mmh, you joining me?"
James nearly had a heart attack, mouth falling open in surprise as he tried to turn this blatant offer down.
"I- I will do no such thing! I'll walk you to your bed. God forbid you pass out on the way."
"Meh." Logan shrugged, using James for support as he forced himself to his feet.
"I don't know if it's the alcohol talking or if Camille's big gob said something right for once but you seriously look fuckable."
Deciding to take this as a compliment and ask no further questions, James stood, holding his friend up.
Before he could say anymore, Logan's mouth was on his, draining all possible speech from James as Logan made their mouths work in perfect sync.
"I think we should go to bed." James gasped, barely able to tear away to speak.
"Knew you'd come through for me." Logan grinned, eyes lit with lust and his normal innocence as he grabbed James' hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.
James was thinking with his dick, he couldn't see the harm that tomorrow could possibly bring.
All he could think about was Logan bent over, body holding a nice sheen of sweat as James poun-
"Are you coming or not?" Said the naked Logan from the end of the bed.
You were on my mind all night,
And even after them few drinks,
You didn't leave my mind.
Maybe it's just the drink speaking,
But her words have left me dreaming.
It's too late to think about it now,
We'll have plenty of time to regret this in the next couple of hours.
James awoke to a fuming Logan dressing the next morning.
He didn't look up when James moved from his sleeping position, nor did he speak when the lump in James' throat dissolved enough for him to barely speak himself.
"Logan where are yo-"
"Don't speak to me!" Logan snapped, working his jeans with one hand as he cut James off with the other.
Expecting some kind of lecture, James waited, immediately rummaging around for his pants when he realised his friend was leaving without another word.
"Logan I can explain!" James exclaimed, following him out and into the living room.
"Shoot!" Logan demanded suddenly, turning to face the tall boy with angry eyes.
Caught off guard, James flinched, managing to catch a glimpse of the others from the dining room table.
They seemed not at all bothered by the fact this conversation may have been private.
"I- I'm sorry..."
"SORRY!" Logan laughed, grabbing fistfuls of his hair with the anger he was trying to compress. "And there's me thinking we FUCKED!"
There was a Latino and brown haired little girl who chocked on their breakfast, Mrs Knight dropping her spatula too as James tried to think of a sensible way to respond to such a frank remark.
"You're a whore James! And you know what, I was fine with that. What you do in the privacy of your own bed is entirely up to you but you don't bring me into your sick little love games because quite frankly, I'm not a slut like you. I have standards and I will not bend over at yours or anyone else's call!"
"I'm really sorry Logan..." James whimpered, honestly remorseful.
"Say sorry to our ten years of friendship! Say sorry to my goddamn aching ass! Oh and just a quick question. Did you know, if this friendship could actually have survived, this would've been our ten year friendship anniversary today? Oh wait, no, you don't think outside James world do you? Or if for some bazaar reason you decide to take a vacation from James world, you don't see anywhere past your dick!"
Honestly, James knew. He'd known for a week this day had been coming up but now, he'd ruined it.
"Where are the keys?" Logan breathed, turning to face Kendall with sorry eyes.
"What is it with you and loving everyone else more?" James blurted, tears finally making an appearance as they started down his cheeks.
"Because I can only give to those I care for." Logan spoke, his voice calm as he took the keys from Kendall and left without another word.
James lost it, tears taking him over completely as he fell to the floor, clutching himself as he tried to breathe.
Logan had just basically admitted that he could never love James like James loved him.
He was insecure, scared and a reassuring word from Logan was all he had ever needed.
It's all he would ever need.
"James, look at us." These sweet, reassuring words from Carlos wasn't enough to end this paralysing fear and even when Kendall forced him to do so, he still couldn't see them over the tears.
"That is not Logan..." Sighed the worried blonde as he helped Carlos pull him up and over to the sofa.
"It is him..." James whispered, rubbing red eyes with the back of his hand as he tried to mend.
What James had thought before had been proven right. A darker, less pleasant Logan had just been exposed. Logan had spoke his mind.
"You can talk to him about it when he gets back." Katie spoke, her voice soft as she went over to comfort the boy, "He didn't mean it, he was angry."
"And now he's grounded." Mrs Knight spoke from the kitchen finally, eyes glued to the pan in discuss.
No one would have expected that kind of attitude from Logan.
James fell asleep shortly after, tears following him out till the end.
It's funny how one night can change everything,
It's funny to think I would go back for anything.
Before I left I forgot to say,
I love you even more than I did yesterday.
When I get back I'm not sure I'll be able to look at you,
At least I won't without confessing my love for you.
"James wake up and put some clothes on! We need to get to the hospital!"
Startled by his sudden awakening, James shot up, eyes meeting his scared friends.
"Carlos what's up?"
"It- It's Logan James..." Carlos sniffed, tears rolling down his face as he stared at James with a worried expression.
James' heart sank, his throat becoming very dry as he thought of the worse.
"He was in an accident. The lady and her kid are in good health; Logan took the brunt of the impact." Explained Kendall who was pulling the devastated Carlos from James.
"It's my fault." James whispered, everything within him dying at the realisation.
"I'm pretty sure it was the drivers James. Now, let's go."
After arriving at the hospital and having to wait a full forty-five minutes for a doctor to even acknowledge their existence, one finally pointed them in the right direction, James practically running as his friends tried to keep up.
"You can't go in yet." A nurse stated from the doorway, a hand held in front of her as she forced the boy back.
"My friends in there. Is he ok?" James panicked, hands trying to keep themselves busy at his sides.
"The doctor will be out shortly to tell you so. Until then, please take a seat."
Luckily, he had Kendall and Carlos there to hold him back and stop him from running into the room to steal his friend back.
Luckily, he had two people to help take his mind off the possible disasters that the doctor could come out with.
Their friendship would never be the same but by god; James would try and get it as near as.
"Are you family of Mr. Mitchell?" the doctor finally asked from the doorway, his voice cutting Carlos off in mid sentence.
"Friends. He lives with us." Kendall replied, his voice and facial expression indifferent as he got up to greet the doctor.
"Right. Well, he's taken it better than he should have. Everything's fine with him but..."
"But what?" James urged, getting up to speak to the doctor now.
"He's lost his long term memory. He can't remember anything, not even his parents."
So, this meant he didn't know James existed.
"Can we see him?" Carlos asked, still seated.
"One at a time." The doctor said with a sorry smile.
"You go first James." Kendall exhaled, moving to allow his friend to get pass.
Without a second thought, James barged into the room, his face softening to the point of fighting off tears again as he watched the calmed boy.
Logan was too busy analysing the room to recognise James' arrival.
But when eyes finally fell on James, a sweet, delicate smile took over the calm atmosphere he had created.
Lost for words, James just watched, hesitant as he wondered if an apology was still ok.
"I don't know you," Logan confessed with a grin, looking at James with bright eyes, "But you have beautiful eyes."
Woke up from the dark,
To a doctor telling me I'd have to work from the start.
I'm scared to feel,
My life feels like a lost film.
But when you walked into this perspective,
Sad eyes looking so perfect,
I couldn't help but welcome you into my life.
You have the beautiful of eyes.
I took on the layout style from one of my other stories... It wasn't my intention at first but when I realised, I was half way through and too stressed to care.
I hope you got the jist of the once magnificant idea that I was trying to share with you :'(...
Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you.
-C