A/N: I just wanted to write something like thisD Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Mr Babysitter
"Come on, Lily!"
"No."
"You know you want to!"
"No, I don't."
"Pleeeeease?"
"No!"
"Please Lily, I beg you!"
"Sirius, NO! I will not let you baby-sit, Harry, just yet! He needs his mother!"
Lily Evans-Potter stood in the middle of the kitchen, glaring down at Sirius Black, who was sitting on a kitchen chair, with her fierce green eyes.
"Come on, Lils! Harry's nine months old! He can walk and he's smart for a kid his age!" Sirius pleaded.
Lily sighed.
"Sirius, you know it isn't just the fact that Harry is too young! Remember that time you and Peter took him to Diagon Alley and fed him too much ice cream? Harry was sick, all day!" She snapped, as the memory of wiping vomit from her favorite sweater came back into her head. "And do NOT call me Lils!"
Sirius visibly shifted in his seat.
"Come on, Lils! I mean, Lily! You know how Peter can be! He forced me to feed Harry all that ice cream! It was his idea! You have to believe me!" He reasoned.
Lily put a hand on one hip, and shot Sirius a furious look. Sirius shifted nervously, staring down at his feet.
"Sirius Black! Do you think I'm an idiot?" She hissed, burning holes into Sirius with her eyes.
"N-no! Of course not!" Sirius stuttered.
There was a moment where there was slight amusement in Lily's eyes. But quickly it faded away.
"So, you agree that this conversation is over?" Lily demanded, sharply.
"Ma'am, yes, Ma'am!" Sirius cried automatically, not wanting to be the unfortunate victim of Lily's banishment spell.
Lily bit back a laugh, as Sirius raced out of the kitchen in fear.
"Please!"
"No."
"Please!"
"No!"
"You know you want to!"
"No, I don't."
"Pleeeeaaaase!"
"No!"
"Please, Prongs, I beg you!"
James Potter sat on the sofa, sighing as his best friend sat kneeling the floor, begging.
James ran a hand through his messy black hair, as he sighed. "Sirius, Harry's too young. Not to mention, Lily won't be pleased about it!" He said, tiredly.
"But Proooongs! You can sweet talk your Lily-flower! I mean, when was the last time you two went out for dinner?" Sirius began to say.
"Well..", James started.
"Or went out to a dance?" Sirius continued.
"I.." James began to say.
"Or had no-baby time?" Sirius finished. "Don't you want to go out and have fun with Lily-kins, instead of sticking around at home, playing Exploding Snap by yourself?"
Sirius began to smirk triumphantly, as he knew that he had won over his friend.
James looked extremely tempted. "But.."
Sirius tutted. "No, 'buts', James! You go out and have fun tonight! You know I'm one-hundred-percent responsible!"
James snorted in disbelief. "Responsible? Don't you remember that time you and Peter took Harry to Diagon Alley, fed him too much ice cream and Harry ended up throwing up on Lily's favorite swea-"
"Why does everyone keep mentioning that!" Sirius cried. "It was just one time! Come on, Prongs! You know how forceful Peter can be!"
James snorted, once again. "Oh, give me a break, Padfoot.. Peter? Forceful? The guy can't say 'Boo' to a goose!"
"Oh, fine!" Sirius sighed, exasperatedly. "But it would be good for you and Lily to go out for dinner, at the least! You haven't done that since Harry was born…"
James seemed to consider for a moment. "Oh, alright… We'll both try and convince Lily."
Sirius' face brightened. "Yes! Let's go!"
He grabbed James' arm, and began to drag him to the kitchen.
"Okay, but if I end up sleeping on the sofa, tonight, then it's your fault!" James told him, as they disappeared into the kitchen.
"Please!"
"No"
"Pleeaaaaaaase!"
"I said, no!"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't trust you!" Lily Potter nearly screamed.
Sirius looked up at her with puppy dog eyes and pouted. "Pweease!"
"Shut up, Black. And don't look at me like that!" Lily began to say.
Sirius, thinking that he had won her over with his puppy dog pout, began to smirk triumphantly.
"Because I don't know what you're trying to do! Whether you're trying to look like a dead fish or an ugly dog is simply beyond me!" She finished.
James whistled, and murmured, "That must hurt."
Sirius' mouth fell open. "B-b-but… I look cute!"
James and Lily snorted simultaneously. Sirius face looked like someone had announced that Christmas had been canceled. He looked very offended, and betrayed, as he looked up at his best friend.
"Prongs! You said that you'd back me up on this!" Sirius cried.
Lily's red-hot glare shifted to her husband. She put her hands on her hips.
"Are you saying that you agree him?" She demanded, dangerously.
James looked down at the floor, like an ashamed child, after pulling a prank on his teacher. "W-well… I…"
"You don't need to worry about it, Lils! I even invited Peter and Remus, so that Remus can spoil the fun!" Sirius declared, happily.
Lily opened her mouth to make a remark, but at that moment, Remus and Peter came in through the door.
"I heard that!" Remus said, offended.
"But it's true!" Sirius argued.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"SILENCE!" Lily barked.
Lily glared at all of them, looking as if she was about to pounce. Instantly, they all shrunk under her ultra violet glare.
Remus sighed. "Lily, we all think this is a good idea. I mean, we can't remember the last time you and James went out for a night and enjoyed yourselves!"
Lily opened her mouth. "I-"
"It's true!" Sirius interrupted. "And you've been terribly cranky!"
"What?" Lily demanded, glaring.
"Nothing! I was just saying that you deserve this night out!" Sirius gabbled, quickly.
"I agree." Peter chipped in. "It might get your mind off things. Like the time Harry ate too much ice cream and he threw up on your favorite swea-."
Sirius kicked him, hard. Peter whimpered at fell on his knees.
"Anyway, we think that you really need a night out to relax." Remus finished.
Lily didn't say anything for a moment. Then, she sighed.
"All right, all right. I suppose one night wouldn't hurt." She concluded.
Sirius immediately whooped, and he began to push Lily and James towards the stairs.
"So, what are you waiting for? You're to go to The Golden Snitch restaurant by Seven thirty! Hurry up!"
As Lily and James disappeared up the stairs, Lily called, "Oh, and I'm not cranky!"
At seven o' clock, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were sitting on the Sofa, with an ABC Book for Baby Wizards, a furry golden snitch toy, and a baby bath.
Lily Potter and her husband came down the stairs and looked around.
"Impressive." Lily said. "I thought I'd never say this, but I trust you, Sirius."
Sirius beamed proudly, as if he had received the Order of Merlin, First Class.
"Well, we'd better be going, now." James smiled. "Have fun, you guys."
Giving Harry a little kiss on the head, Lily handed him to Remus. Harry immediately cried out, "Remmy!" and bounced up and down.
They opened the door and stepped out. Sirius sighed in relief.
Lily poked her head back through the door. Sirius sucked his breath back in.
"Oh, and if any of this goes wrong, Sirius, I'm warning you. James will end up on the sofa, tonight."
After that, she walked out.
Sirius finally sighed in relief.
"Well…" He said, looking around, "You're responsible uncle Sirius is here, Harry!"
"Ice cweam! Sweather" Harry giggled, somewhat accusingly.
Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "Why does everyone keep mentioning that? I'm telling you! It was Peter! He MADE me feed Harry the ice cream!"
"Huh?" Peter asked, confused.
Remus sighed. "Let's get on with the babysitting. Come on, Harrykins. Let's read a nice book!"
Sirius stared at him in disbelief. "A nice book? Lily and James go out, and you want to read Harry a book?:
Remus looked confused. "Well, since we got all this stuff for him, and we promised Lily that we'd be responsible-"
Sirius howled with laughter. "You believed that stuff? These nice innocent baby things are just a cover-up for the real fun things that I brought!"
Remus sighed, yet again. "Oh, boy. This will end badly."
"That's what you always say, Mooney. But you're always wrong." Sirius corrected him.
"Actually, I'm always right. Remember I told you not to feed Harry too much Ice cream? You said the exact same thing, and Harry ended up vomiting on Lily's favorite swea-"
"For the last time, it was PETER'S fault!" Sirius yelled. "He MADE me!"
"No I didn't…" Peter said, innocently.
Remus rolled his eyes. "However this turns out, I have nothing to do with this. So what is your big surprise?"
Sirius smiled proudly. He brought out his wand and flicked it once.
"Here is a Baby Trampoline! Bewitched to make any baby jump up ten feet! And, here is a Baby Prankster Kit! Oh, and the Chocolate fudge cake! And let's not forget.. THE FIVE KILOGRAM ICE CREAM!" He declared, like his was a magician, producing a rabbit out of a hat.
Remus stared, and muttered. "Why am I surprised?"
Four hours later, a very tired Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were collapsed on the floor. Sirius was holding Harry, while shuddering as the baby vomited.
A tutting Remus Lupin sat on the sofa, while shaking his head at them, as if saying "I told you so."
"Shut up, Moony." Sirius snapped, wiping vomit from his shirt.
"I didn't say anything." Remus stated.
"Oh, but you gave me that. 'I told you so' look." Sirius snapped.
Remus smirked. "You'd better clean up, soon. Lily and James will probably be back in a few minutes."
Sirius scoffed. "Oh, please. The two love birds won't be back for hours. They'll be dancing the night away. They-"
Right then, Lily and James apparated into the house.
"We're back! We had so much fun! So, how were you doi-" Lily began to babble, excitedly, actually smiling.
She stopped. She looked at the used-to-be-brand-new Baby Trampoline that had a leg broken off. She looked at Peter's face that was covered in green slime that obviously came from the Baby's Prankster Kit, a few feet away. She looked at the mostly eaten chocolate fudge cake. She saw the melted five kilogram ice cream.
Her sharp green eyes moved over to a pale, clammy and shaking Sirius Black that was holding a puking baby. She looked at the stain that the vomit left all over the carpet.
Suprisingly, she didn't yell. She didn't scream.
She opened her mouth, and said in a very calm voice. "Sirius Black, would care to explain what happened?"
Sirius, surprised at her new attitude, gave a laugh, and said, "Oh, we just ate ice cream and pranked Peter, and played on the trampoline, and Harry got a bit sick, so I gave him some cake to make him feel better, and-"
"SIRIUS BLACK!" Lily screamed. "GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
Throwing a stinging hex at the dog animagus, she fumed, as she glared at Remus.
"Well?"
"Sorry Lily, but I had nothing to do with this. It was all Sirius' idea."
Lily turned back to a shaking Sirius.
"Oh.. Why doesn't that surprise me?" She asked in a ice cold voice.
"I- I- I'm sorry! I- it was Peter's fault! I tried to stop him, but-!" He quickly gabbled.
James buried his head in his hands. Remus rolled his eyes. Peter looked confused. Again.
"Sirius Black." Lily hissed. She raised her wand at pointed it at the shaking man.
"I knew this would end, badly." Remus muttered.
Grabbing a hand full of candy, Sirius quickly disapparated, saying quickly, "Got to go, bye!"
Lily fumed.
Remus and Peter ran towards the fireplace.
"We have to go, too!" Remus said quickly.
With a blaze of emerald fire, they disappeared.
James began to quietly make his way up the stairs.
"James Potter!" Lily said, in a deadly cold voice.
"Er.. I have to go, Lily dear! Must sleep!" James said, quickly.
"Oh, no you don't!" Lily yelled after him.
James stopped, midway, his face draining of all colour.
"But.. I had nothing to do with Sirius' plan, so, I'm in the clear,right?" He asked hopefully.
Lily smiled. James let a deep breath out.
"Of course. But you're still sleeping on the sofa tonight."
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Please make my day by reviewing!D
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