This Isn't Why I Made Him

by EverlastingEvanescence

This is a little fanfiction for Soul Eater in the perspective of Medusa, talking about her son Crona and all the regrets that have been piling up inside her for all the evil that she's done to him. The title of this fanfic is based on a song called "This isn't Why You Made Her" by the Bunny the Bear.

This Isn't Why I Made Him

My son Crona

Infused with the power of the Demon Sword and black blood became one of my most prized experiments.

I treated him like a test subject instead of a son.

It wasn't always like this.

When Crona was first born, I was so happy

He was my son and I loved him

His deadbeat father ran off on me before he was born, so for the first few years, it was just me and Crona.

But then…something changed.

I don't know if it happened overnight or if it was always inside me getting stronger by the day, but darkness and anger suddenly consumed me, and all I thought about was a way to get my revenge on Death and the society that made my kind so hated.

Injecting Crona with the black blood and giving him the Demon Sword was all a part of my plan.

I was going to make him a Kishin so that he could exact revenge on Death and the DWMA for me.

There was always that remaining shred of motherhood in me that couldn't stand what I was doing to my only child.

Every time I sent him to his room for days on end without food, or beat him, or left him alone with Ragnarok, my chest would twist up and make me feel like I was being strangled.

That feeling was guilt and regret.

I was feeling guilt over what I was doing to Crona, and I was feeling regret over what I knew would happen to him.

But most of all, there were days where I would feel sick that I took away his smile.

He used to smile all the time, but now it was as if he didn't know how to smile.

I know Crona wants nothing to do with me know. He has his own life and friends now, not wanting to be anywhere near me anymore.

I suppose its better this way. I would just hurt him again.

I didn't have Crona just to be a test subject, I wanted a son.

But life has an awful way of making good things bad.

Crona's whole life had been spent as my test monkey.

My puppet.

But that's not why I made him.

I made him to be my son, and I still want him to be my son.

I love him

I love Crona

I miss Crona

I know he doesn't love me

I know he doesn't miss me

But I have hope that things can go back to the way things used to be