Luigi was a moron.

At least, Guido thought so anyway.

He was painfully dense. In fact, the tiny blue forklift was convinced that had his boss's frame been as dense as he was in the head, then the damn yellow Fiat would've been indestructible.

"Please give this to your boss, okay?" whispered the red Smart Fortwo, winking at Guido. She slid him a small piece of paper with her name and a combination of numbers that were undoubtedly hers.

Guido barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

However, he decided to play dumb this time and give her an inquisitive look. "Tires?"

"No, no," she said quickly. Flustered at having to explain herself, she moved closer to Guido. "Just give this to him. Tell him to call me if he ever wants to grab a quart of oil or something."

"Okay," the forklift replied with absolutely zero intentions of telling his boss anything of the sort. The red car beamed at him before turning her attention towards Luigi, who was busy showcasing the Whitewalls to a few other customers.

She sighed wistfully. "If I didn't have other plans today, I'd come back later and give him my number myself."

"He's not interested, but that never stops anybody from trying," dryly stated Guido, already thinking of how lovely the small piece of paper would look in the recycling bin.

The smart car, having no clue what the Italian forklift had said, only that it had sounded supportive, smiled at him. "Yeah, me too."

Guido almost snorted at that. Instead he accompanied her to the door, offering a half-hearted smile as she waved goodbye and drove off towards the interstate.

Not even a second later, Guido crumpled up that annoying piece of paper and shoved it to the very bottom of the recycling bin.

It wasn't like Luigi would miss it. Heck, he didn't even notice the red car flirting with him the whole time she was there! While she wasn't exactly throwing herself at Luigi, she'd definitely made her interest in him clear. But alas, the yellow Fiat had no idea and continued to unknowingly charm the tires off of her.

Now that Guido thought about it, he was pretty sure Luigi hadn't gotten the hint when someone did throw themselves at him. The poor smart car didn't stand a chance.

Still, it had been much worse forty years ago. Back when they were considered the newest models at the time, and everybody wanted a piece of that fine Italian undercarriage. In those days, Luigi had received quite a few propositions, with cars of all models suggesting they take a drive to Wheel Well, or grab some oil at Flo's. Of course, Luigi never accepted. Dedicated and hardworking, he refused to leave the shop unless he absolutely had to. Plus, he never really ate without Guido; he preferred having the forklift by his side at all times.

Back then, Guido had his work cut out for him, and he wasn't even talking about installing tires. The shop was always packed with customers and Luigi was constantly busy tending to all of them. In fact, he was so busy that nobody could get ahold of him after they'd already gotten their tires, and so somehow, Guido had become the messenger for infatuated cars.

He'd lost track of how many notes for Luigi he'd discarded. He only remembered seeing rejected faces returning a few weeks later for new tires. Luckily, nobody really confronted Luigi about turning them down; the Fiat was just too nice and sweet for them to even consider demanding an explanation.

But after the construction of the new interstate, customers stopped coming entirely. For a moment, Guido thought it was all his fault. He'd almost come clean to Luigi and told him about the many, many notes that Guido had hidden from him, until he'd overheard Sarge complaining that Radiator Springs had been taken off the map.

So knowing he wasn't the cause of the lack of business, Guido had kept his mouth shut.

In fact, he'd almost forgotten about the whole thing until McQueen set up his racing headquarters in town and had gotten them a new slew of customers.

Then Guido found himself surrounded by notes once more. Granted, they didn't come as often as before. Luigi wasn't the newest Fiat around anymore, but still a handful of customers found him charming enough to want to spend time with him outside the tire shop.

Of course there was a simple solution to all this; just tell the customers that Luigi was happily off the market, and had been for some fifty odd years now. Guido supposed he could also slap a bumper sticker on Luigi that said something along the lines of "Property of Guido" but that seemed a tad too possessive for his tastes.

(He was possessive, but he didn't need anyone to know that.)

Or maybe Luigi should just start informing his clientele that he already had a lover before they even begun entertaining the idea that he would be interested in the first place…

But wait, that would require Luigi actually being aware when someone was interested, and that seemed a tad too impossible for Guido's tastes.

What to do…

While they were getting ready for bed that same evening, Luigi caught him off guard when he asked why the red smart car spent so long talking to him after he'd fitted her with new tires.

Guido froze. "Uhh…"

"She seemed very interested in you, amore…" murmured Luigi, smoothly backing up beside Guido on their Ferrari-themed rug. He nuzzled his lover fondly. "Luigi gets jealous sometimes, you know."

Stunned at the sudden turn of events, the blue forklift could only gape as his longtime lover and best friend began to kiss him. As pleasant as that was, he couldn't help but feel as though he needed to clarify a few things first.

"Mmmff–Luigi–stop–" Guido muttered against the Fiat's lips. Luigi frowned before drawing back with a somewhat rejected look on his face. The forklift rolled his eyes. "Don't even start."

"What's wrong then? Why you push away Luigi?"

"She wasn't interested in me," Guido snapped, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible so they could get back to kissing. "She wanted me to give you her number."

"Her…number?" Luigi repeated in confusion, and Guido barely resisted the urge to smack his best friend for his exasperating obliviousness.

"She was flirting with you! She was batting her eyelashes and laughing at your stupid jokes–"

"Guido! Luigi's jokes aren't stupid!"

"Yes they are! Which is why I knew she was interested in you and that's why she stayed speaking to me for so long. She wanted me to tell you to call her if you wanted to get dinner sometime."

"She wanted to get dinner with Luigi? Really?"

Now Guido couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Why was Luigi suddenly interested if the red car wanted to meet up or not? Did he not think Guido found the whole thing irritating, especially since they had been together for so long?

Huffing, the blue forklift began to head to the door. "If you care so much, then I'll go get her number right now. It's in the trash in the showroom."

"Wh–Guido, you are too much sometimes!" laughed Luigi, easily chasing his lover and blocking the exit. He guided Guido back to their bed and couldn't resist kissing the forklift in the process. "Amore, I was merely surprised. I didn't think anybody would be interested in such an old car like Luigi."

"A lot of cars are interested in you…" reluctantly muttered Guido, refusing to meet his best friend's fond gaze. Having none of that, Luigi gently titled his lover's face upwards and pressed a soft kiss to Guido's lips.

"But I only care if you are interested in me, Guido."

Smiling, the blue forklift only surged forward for a deeper kiss. Stroking the side of his lover's face, Guido pulled back and his breath hitched when he saw the love in Luigi's eyes. He suddenly felt really sorry for all the cars who would never be able to be with Luigi in this way.

Before pressing their lips together once more, Guido murmured, "Very interested."

A/N: Nobody can stop me from cranking out these Luido fics. I love Cars so much but where are my other Luigi x Guido lovers at!