Author: Christine
E-mail: Xanderette43@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this story. Joss owns em all.
Distribution: Ask and you shall get a 'YES!':)
Author's Notes: Somewhere between season 4… Oh, and there's more to come soon:)
Dedication: To everyone on the wxfic list..you guys kick ass:)
'Another day of Giles telling me everything I do wrong…why can't he bother someone else today? I can't take much more of this…' Willow Rosenburg sat on the big leather sofa in Giles' apartment listening to him drone on and on about changing her wicca ways.
"….Be careful Willow, spells aren't meant to be used as a hobby of sorts. Only use them when you absolutely feel it is necessary," Giles instructed as he went into his kitchen to make some fresh tea.
"I know, Giles, I promise to be more careful and responsible from now on." Willow looked at the floor in mock shame. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, there was just no way she could not use her magic. She hated lying, especially to a fatherly figure such as Giles, but wicca was her passion and one screw up wasn't enough to make her call it quits. "Well, I have to go to class Giles, so I'll see you later." Willow turned towards the door and picked up her shoulder bag.
"Alright Willow, but do remember to tell Buffy that I want her here promptly at 7:00 for some extra training."
"Will do. See you later Giles!" Willow called out to him as she ran out the door. As soon as she was out of the door, Willow sighed. It had been three months since Oz's departure, and she still wasn't sure if she could get through it. Everyone had been kind and supportive of all of it, especially Buffy, since she had been through a similar situation before, but she hadn't spoken much to Xander about it…come to think of it, she really hadn't spoken to him about anything for a long time. She frowned thinking of all the past events last year leading up to her and Xander's "friendship." Ever since the fluke ended, their friendship also disappeared along with it. Now though, they were speaking, but it wasn't anything like it used to be. No more hugs or friendly touches. Not even a pat on the back. As Willow walked the familiar streets back towards the college, a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the sidewalk.
*******
'Living in a basement is fun if you're a rat' Xander Harris thought darkly as he pulled the remaining clothes out of the dryer and into the white, beat up looking hamper. For the past six months he had been paying rent to his parents who he assumed just went out and spent it on peppermint schnapps among other liquor, with his Uncle Rory. As he crossed the room, he slipped on something and came crashing down. "Ouch! Son of a…" As Xander lay on the cold, dank floor, he saw the thing that made him fall. He sat up and picked up a picture frame, and out came a picture of Willow and himself when they were eleven. He had his arm slung around her, and they both were in Snoopy and Woodstock pj's and grinning like there was no tomorrow.
Xander smiled at the old photo. It had been a long time since he had smiled like he had in the picture, but then again, he didn't have Willow to talk to anymore, so that might've been the reason for his gloominess. 'Also add in the fact that I'm stuck in a basement while my amigos are running around having the time of their lives!' Xander noted testily. 'I wish I could be better friends with her again…I had the best times of my life with her. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I love her.' Xander got up and placed the picture frame on top of the TV set, and went back to folding his laundry from the hamper.
*****
Willow had just gotten back to the dorms in time to tell Buffy to go over to Giles' place and train. She needed something to do, and homework really wasn't an option since it was a Friday, and she had plenty of time to work on her final paper that was due in a month. 'What I really want to do is a spell….but which one?' She got off of her bed and crouched down so that she could open up her trunk of Wicca stuff. Willow pulled out her witchcraft book, lay back down on her bed and leafed through the thick book. Hundreds of spells etched the pages of the book, but one in particular stood out among the rest.
"Hmmm…. 'Feel the Future Spell'…I wonder what that is," Willow said out loud. She quickly read the passage that was in the book, and gathered that it was a simple spell used to obtain something from the future to give you a clue as to what lies ahead. Willow jumped off of her bed, and got the necessary items for the spell. Leg of toad, eye of owl, clover leaves, candles, and a dash of evergreen dust was all she needed, and thankfully, she had all of them. Willow held onto all the ingredients, and walked down the hallway to the storage room where she usually preformed all of her spells. She lay the candles down, lit them, put most of the ingredients into the large bowl, and then began to recite the incantation from the book.
"Alitosa, goddess of the future, bring forth something which is inevitable and shall give me great information as to where my life goes. Bless this spell and bring it forth into this realm."
Willow poured the evergreen dust through her fingers, and a magical light opened up and went inside her without her knowing. She stood up and looked around the room to see if anything had changed. "Nothing!" Willow stomped her foot on the floor and then shrugged. 'Ugggg, maybe next time.' She grabbed her stuff and ran out of the room before anyone saw her. She got back into the dorm room and put everything away to make sure Buffy and everyone else didn't think she was up to anything.
Willow paced around the room. "I can't believe it didn't work though! Not even a poof! Who am I kidding? I'm no Wicca, I can't even do simple spells!" She flopped onto her bed and fell asleep.
*****
"Good morning Sunnydale! Another great day of California weather today! The average temperature is 88 degrees, and boy is this an early summer day! The news is coming up next, so don't miss it……"
Willow slapped her radio button, and the annoying weatherman was abruptly shut off. 'Why do I have my alarm set? It's Saturday for crying out loud!' She rolled over and saw that Buffy wasn't in her bed, but the sheets were all messy, so she knew that she had come home last night.
Willow threw the covers off of her, and a wave of nausea hit her like a train. "Oh God!" Willow cried as she flung open the door and ran down the hallway to the bathroom. Noises of puking filled the corridor as Willow emptied what was the remains of last nights dinner into the toilet. She staggered back on her feet and flushed, and went over to the sink. She washed her hands and face and then rinsed out her mouth with cold water.
After drying her hands, Willow walked slowly back into her dorm and lay on her bed. 'I can't be getting sick can I? Oh no, I don't want to be sick at all!' Willow thought grumpily. I bet it's the flu or that stomach virus that's going around…yea I bet that's what it is. I'll beep Buffy and ask her to drive me over to the doctor's office later.' Willow closed her eyes and let sleep take over.
*****
"Miss Rosenburg, it's your turn," the cranky nurse called. "Follow me." Willow and Buffy were lead down a narrow hallway to a door that had a sign that said 'Room 4.' "Stay in here, and the doctor will be with you shortly." With that, she turned and walked briskly back the way she came.
"So, they have some quality style going on in here huh? I like the very whiteness of the room." Buffy commented sarcastically.
"Yea." Willow replied feeling quite sick.
"You really feel like crap don't you?"
"Big, big yes to that question. I don't know why though, I mean, I felt fine last night…I was just a little bit tired that's all."
"Maybe you caught that stomach bug that's going around. I think Riley's getting it too, poor guy. Anyway, so what did they make you do when we got here?" Buffy asked.
"Um, just a survey about me, a urine sample, and if I had any diseases or anything like that." Willow answered.
"Oh, so no biggies there."
"Yea, it was-.."
Willow was interrupted by the doctor walking in. "Hello Willow, I'm Dr. Smith. There's something that I have to speak to you about, but I want to do it in private." He looked at Buffy.
"Ohhh…! Of course! I'll be outside the door Will if you need me." Buffy flashed a quick smile at Willow before closing the door behind her.
"So, Dr. Smith, is there something the matter?" Willow asked worriedly.
He looked at her sympathetically. "Well, I took a look at your urine sample, and there's no other way to say it, but you're pregnant."
*****
It had been two weeks since Willow had found out that she was pregnant. In those two weeks she had gone through every single thought process possible and still hadn't come up with a reason she had a living, breathing child in her uterus. She had only been with Oz twice, and that was almost a year ago, and since the doctor told her that she was only three months pregnant, Oz was definitely not the father. 'I don't understand. There can't be anyone else!' Willow thought stressed out. She walked across the room to her bed in the dorm and flopped on top of it. No one knew yet…Willow had kept it away from everyone, including Buffy. But now…now when she didn't even know who the FATHER was, Willow had to tell Buffy.
Willow was just about to doze off when Buffy strided through the door looking quite happy. 'Great, everyone's happy except me….I'm suddenly pregnant for no reason….it's like someone put a spell on me or something….' Willow's eyes grew wide as a sudden realization dawned on her. 'Oh my God! The spell! It HAD to be the damn spell I had cast the night before I got sick! I'm such an idiot! How am I gonna reverse it??' Willow's mind frantically tried recalling a reversal spell, but when none came into mind, her mouth made a little squeaking noise. "Eeeeep!" she chirped.
"Hello to you too." Buffy replied smiling.
"Oh God Buffy!" Willow cried. "I have to tell you something. It's pretty bad. You better sit down."
Buffy's smile turned into a grimace. She didn't really didn't want any bad news right now…she had just spent the night over at Riley's and things were way past happy mode for her. She wondered what Willow was freaking out about. "What's the matter Will?" she asked as she sat down upon Willow's bed.
"I-. I'm….I'm pregnant Buffy."
Buffy gasped. Not in a million, gazillion years did she ever think those words would come out of Willow's mouth…not at this age anyway. "Oh God Will…how? I mean, I know how, but who? When? Why?!?!"
"Okay, you know when you took me to the doctors a couple of weeks ago?" Buffy nodded her head. "Well, I knew then. But I didn't want to tell you or anyone else because I didn't even know how it happened. I slept with Oz twice, but that was last year, and I'm only three months pregnant. So that means Oz isn't the father….I don't know who is." Willow pushed her hair out of her eyes, and then continued. "I did this spell the night before I felt sick. It was a spell that you could obtain something from the future in order to see what lays ahead. When I preformed it nothing happened, so I just figured I messed up again. But now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it worked…the something I received was a baby." Willow broke down sobbing into Buffy's shoulder, and she pulled Willow into her arms comforting her.
"Shhhh…Will, it'll be okay…we'll get Giles to help us. He'll know what to do…"
"I don't know Buffy…I mean, he was pretty angry the last time I messed up a spell, and this one is worse! He's never going to speak to me again! I promised him I wouldn't cast a spell without telling him first, and I never told him about this one."
"Don't worry Will. I'll make sure he doesn't kill you." Buffy joked as she gave Willow a little squeeze. "Besides, don't you wanna know who the father is?"
Willow thought for a moment. "You know, I never really thought about finding out who the father is. I mean, I probably don't even know the guy yet….I'll most likely meet him in 10 years or something."
"Yea, but it would be kinda cool….you haveta admit that." Buffy smiled. She had a feeling that she knew who the father was, but she dared not say anything.
"I guess so…well maybe we should go see Giles now…fill him in on everything, even though he'll disown me." Willow exaggerated.
"He won't be that mad Will! Cheer up, you'll get to know who the lucky man is pretty soon."
"Okay….let's go."
Willow picked up her bag and Buffy put her arms around her shoulders as they walked out the door to Giles's place.
*****
Dedication: To Sarah….you're always cranking out wonderful fics full of W/X goodness
Part 3
"…So that's the whole story." Willow looked down ashamed with herself.
Giles just stared at her. "You've gotten you're self into a lot of trouble Willow. I do hope you realize the seriousness of the situation."
Willow slumped even more into the leather of his couch. Buffy glanced over at her in pity. She knew Giles wasn't happy with Willow… there wasn't any reason he should be, but she couldn't help but feel horrible for her best friend. After all, she's pregnant with some guy's child she didn't even have sex with yet…how complicated could it get?
"I know what I did was so stupid and irresponsible Giles, and I'm paying for it now, believe me. I mean, I don't even know who the father of my child is!" Willow looked down again at her hands.
Giles sadly smiled at her. "Come now Willow. I'm sure we can find out. There must be some sort of spell I can perform with you in order to find out who the father is. But…are you sure you want to keep it?"
Willow snapped her head up and glared at him. "Giles, I'm all for Abortion Rights, but I don't want to get rid of something inside of me just because I'm 19." She shrugged and continued. "Besides, I've always loved little kids, so I think I'm ready. And I know you guys will want to help out every now and again."
Buffy smiled. Willow was always so headstrong about certain issues, and parenting was one of them. 'I guess Willow wants to be the mother she never had growing up. I'm glad she's taking all of this so well.'
Giles stood up and paced around the couch. "Well I must gather the materials necessary for the spell, so if you two stop back tonight, then we'll be able to see who the father is Willow."
Willow nodded in agreement. "Okay, I'll be back tonight then. Do you want me to help you out with the spell?"
Giles shook his head from side to side. "No no. That won't be necessary Willow. You go on and rest. The spell might take a lot out of you, and you have classes to keep up with."
"Alright. I guess we'll see you later then." Willow stood up and hugged Giles. "Thank you Giles…for everything."
"You're quite welcome Willow."
Buffy jumped up and took hold of Willow's arm. "Come on Will. We've got things to talk about." She walked out the door with Willow right behind her.
"Be here at 8:00 sharp!" Giles yelled out the door.
*****
Dedication: To Louise because she lifted my spirits about Willow and Xander:)
Part 4
It was nearing 8:00 and Willow and Buffy weren't at Giles' yet. 'They better be here soon.' Giles thought as he started to place the candles in a circle on the floor. It had taken him literally ever since Willow and Buffy left to translate the spell and gather the necessary materials in order to complete it. He was just about to put the last one on the floor when there was a knock at the door. "Coming!" Giles called out. He walked briskly over to the large wooden door and unlocked it.
"Hey G-man! What's up with you lately? Need any help with anything?" Xander bounced in the apartment and looked around. "Hmmm…looks like someone's cooking up a little spell I see… let me guess, someone new in town?"
Giles hesitated. He didn't know whether or not Willow wanted Xander around when they did the spell. He knew that Xander didn't know about anything that had happened to Willow, so he was going to make sure it stayed that way until she told him herself.
"Yes, hello Xander. No, I'm just waiting for Buffy and Willow to come over and preform a simple little spell with me tonight. There's really no need to have you here though. Are you sure you don't have anything more important to do? I mean, it's really quite boring here."
Xander frowned. 'Great, they don't need me anymore then they need a hole in the head. Maybe I should stay just to see what they're up to. Giles can't make me leave. I'm part of the gang…at least I hope I still am,' Xander worried.
"Nah…I'll stay. I have really nothing better to do. Plus, my Uncle Rory is over tonight and I really get queasy from smelling the peppermint schnapps in the air. Besides, I'm interested in what you three are up to."
"Up to? We're really not up to----"
Giles was interrupted by a loud bang at the door. He walked back over and opened it. "Hey Giles. Are we all ready?" Buffy asked as she and Willow walked past him. As soon as Willow saw Xander, she immediately felt bad. In the midst of everything, she had completely forgotten to tell Xander about what had happened. She knew that before she did the spell, she had to tell him.
"Hey Xander." Willow said with melancholy.
"Hey Will! Hey Buffy. How are my two girls doing tonight?"
"I'm okay….look, Giles and I will be upstairs…I know Willow wants to talk to you…" Buffy grabbed Giles' arm and they went upstairs.
Xander was confused. "Um Will, you mind telling me what's going on?"
Willow gestured to the couch. "Yea, but you better sit down…it's a long story…."
******
Dedication: To everyone on the list…I love you guys! Hehe. And to GM…I can't wait for those new backgrounds of yours!
Part 5
"So, that's the whole story," Willow concluded.
Xander sat on the couch astonished. 'Willow is pregnant. I can't believe it. I can't believe my Willow is pregnant! How dare that guy who she didn't sleep with yet touch her! Wait till I get my hands on him…!'
"Are you alright Xander? You look really pale." Willow looked nervously at him.
Xander snapped back to reality. "Huh? Oh…yea… it's just a lot to take in at one time, that's all." He stood up and walked over to her. "I mean, my Willow is having a baby! It's really surprising…" He put his hand over her stomach and took her hand. "I just want you to know that I'll back you in whatever you decide to do Will."
Willow smiled and embraced him in a hug. "Thank you so much Xander. I'm glad you feel that way cause I've decided to keep it. I'm gonna be a Mommy."
Xander wrapped his arms around her and smiled. He always imagined Willow being a mother with a couple kids of her own. He wanted to help her out with everything too… it was just that when he imagined her having kids, he imagined himself by her side. But as long as he could help her out, he would be content.
"Hey guys…we should really start the spell…. it's getting kinda late, and I still have to patrol!" Buffy yelled from upstairs.
Willow squeezed Xander one last time and turned towards the stairs. "You guys can come down now…sorry it took so long!"
****
Forty-five minutes later the candles were lit, and each of them were situated around the circle on the floor. Giles spoke to Willow briefly about the words of the spell, and then cleared his throat. "Alright Willow…you may begin whenever you are ready. I should warn you though, when I finish the end of the spell, you should be able to see the father of your child very quickly."
Willow nodded her head slowly. Suddenly she was very tense and worried. "Ok. I'm ready. Is everyone else?"
Xander and Buffy shook their heads yes, and Willow poured clover dust through her fingers, closed her eyes and began the ritual.
"Satisora, I call upon you to show me the true father of the child inside of me. Let me see who my partner is and I will be eternally satisfied."
Giles went on. "Bless this child and may it be protected from harm from disease." He dropped two feathers in the circle and the flames from the candles shot up and flickered harshly.
Willow suddenly felt very lightheaded. Everything got dark around her, and she fell backwards lying against the floor. "Willow!" Buffy yelled. Willow could hear Buffy, but she seemed so far away from her. She closed her eyes, and in a flash, hundreds of images flashed through her mind, and all were of the same person. Willow sucked in a breath and opened her eyes.
"Willow! Are you okay?" She looked up to see Buffy kneeling down by her with Xander and Giles in back. Willow's eyes were wide with incredulity. "Willow! Did you see anything? Did you see the guy?"
Willow sat up and shook her head yes. "Well who was it? Come on, the suspense is killing me!" Buffy complained.
Willow stood up on shaky legs and pointed at Xander. "You."
*******
Dedication: To Sarah, GM, Louise, Cri, Allison, Emma, Kira, Michael, Bri, and everyone else on the list!!
Part 6
Thirty seconds after Willow had confessed to everyone that Xander was the father, he had done what any respectable guy who's best friend was pregnant with their child would've done…he fainted. Buffy saw his eyes roll back in his head and ran over towards him. She caught his shoulders before they hit the floor, and she motioned for Giles to come and help her carry him over to the couch.
After Xander was on the sofa, Buffy went over to Willow who was staring out into space, and she took her hand. "Will…are you okay?"
Willow snapped back into the real world and looked at Buffy. "Yes. No. I mean, I don't know. I never really considered that Xander would be the father, and now that I know he is, something's dawned on me."
Buffy was confused. "Which is…?"
Willow dropped Buffy's hand and walked over to Xander. "Well, for me to be pregnant means that Xander and I slept together…not something I share with just anyone." She started crying, the tears sliding slowly down her cheeks.
Buffy and Giles stood uncomfortably and waited for Willow to continue. "And…?" Buffy was beginning to understand where all this was headed.
"Well, I've just realized that I'm still in love with him…more then ever." Willow brushed a few tears away and went on. "When I saw all of those images of him in my head, they also came with words. Some of which I never knew about until now."
Giles handed her a tissue and sat in the chair across from her. "Like what for example?"
Willow's voice was barely a whisper. "Like when I was in a coma. He was talking to me and he told me he loved me… that's what brought me back." Willow looked down shamefully. "But I always thought it was Oz."
Buffy's eyes widened. Xander hadn't even told her about that. He'd been living with that for almost two years now, and it had just come out without him knowing about it. She looked over at him on the couch. He was fast asleep with a weird expression on his face. She didn't blame him for passing out. Finding out that you're a Daddy without even doing the deed yet was beyond confusing. Buffy just hoped that everything would work out for the better because she knew they would both be excellent parents.
Willow kept talking. "That's not all either. I heard his thoughts too. Everything he's thought about me for the past eight years…he loves me unconditionally. There's not a doubt in his mind that I'm his soulmate. I also heard when he said he'd kill you if I got hurt when the vampires tried resurrecting the Master." She walked slowly over to the window and continued. "He's never told me anything to even hint at the fact that he's in love with me. I mean, I love him back the same way and everything, but it's just so weird. Oh God…I don't know what to do."
A hand touched Willow's shoulder. "I do Will."
She jumped as she turned around and saw Xander standing there. "Xander…how are you? Are you alright? Did you hit your head?"
Xander smiled. "Nah, the old Buffster caught me before I got a concussion." He turned towards Buffy. "Thanks."
Buffy grinned. "Eh, no prob Xander. Anytime." She walked over to Giles. "I think we should go patrol, don't you think Giles?" Buffy winked at him to let him know she wanted to leave Willow and Xander alone. "Ah, right. Yes, we should go now." Giles and Buffy turned to leave when Xander stopped them.
"Wait guys, Willow and I will go. We need to talk. See you guys later." Xander put his arm around Willow's shoulder and she nodded as they walked out the door.
*****
Dedication: To all the W/X fans out there…someday we'll get our damn wish!
Part 7
"So this is the part where we talk right?" Xander walked slowly as they crossed the street.
Willow nodded. "Yea, I think talking should be in effect right now."
"Okay, well right now I'm in a state of complete shock, so maybe I should just sit down." Xander sauntered back over to the park bench they had passed and sat down. He put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.
Willow sat down next to him and took his hand. "Xander, I am so sorry for everything. I should not have done that spell… Giles was right, I'm not careful enough and I need a lot more practice. This is my fault, you had nothing to do with it. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore."
Xander whipped his head around and stared at her. "Are you insane? You're carrying our child Willow! This might not be the right time for this, but it's too late, and besides, I love you… I've loved you since the day I first saw you. I'd be damn proud to be the father of your child!" He stood up and paced up and down the sidewalk. "When I heard that I was the father, so many thoughts rushed into my head before i passed out… granted the first two being 'I had sex with Willow', and 'Did I forget that I had sex with Willow?' but everything else was 'oh my God I'm going to be a father' and 'I love Willow so much, I'm glad it was me.' As shocked and confused as I am right now Will, I will be by your side every step of the way… this is something I'm not going to screw up."
Willow's eyes brimmed with tears as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Xander. "Thank you Xander… I love you so much too. You're the only person I'd want as the father of my child…no one else comes close."
Xander smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair. He briefly thought of the time they first kissed in her bedroom while getting ready for the Homecoming dance. He knew now was the right time for them. "Willow?"
"Yea Xander?"
"I can kiss you now right?"
Willow grinned and captured his lips with her own. He held her tightly and lifted her off the ground and spun her around. The moonlight shown down on them as they kissed ever more fiercely, and when Xander broke for air, Willow replied, "How's that for an answer?"
Xander just smiled.