Disclaimer: 'The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers' is copyrighted by Hearst Entertainment, Inc.

This is a work of fanfiction and I make no profit of it.

Author's note: Consider this a belated Shrove Tuesday special.

Originally published in 2002; re-published February 2009

It's not that I'm nervous or agitated. I'm not anxious or worried, either. It's just that I can't sleep.

Frustrated, I toss back the covers and decide to get up. It's 1 am, and if I count any more sheep, I'm afraid my thoughts might actually create one.

So that leaves pacing the room or watching Tri-D.

What did Doc say about the soothing effect of commercials – even better than have your AI sing lullabies to you? Given who programmed my Tri-D set for me, I'm sure I have at least 100 infomercial channels to choose from.

After flipping through some murder cases and talk shows, I finally find a commercial about diet pills.

Though given that I don't know when is the next time that I'm going to be stuck on Tortuna for a lengthy period of anxious hiding, I'm not too sure if it's a good idea for me to lose 20 pounds. The thought scares me so that I become even more awake.

The next channel presents me with a nice set of brushes for only -- what!?!

I'd need to work ten hours to buy brushes that give me only more work!?!

Now that should be illegal. I hope we will get to arrest the distributor some day.

I press the switch button – and am faced with the gruesome sight of three dead turkeys in a pan while a voice from the background tells me that this extra-large roaster allows me to prepare food for all my relatives, friends, co-workers and enemies at once.

My vegetarian heart protests in dismay, and I flip the channel again – to be confronted with the ugliest purple make-up I've ever seen. I almost fling my cushion at the Tri-D set, and only the thought that the next Tri-D will come with even more options that I don't need prevents me from destroying my property.

Now I really need to find something to calm myself.

And the next commercial offers exactly what my troubled mind requires: a documentary on Kirwin sheep. Even before the last 'mah' dies away, I've ordered the whole set.

And if Doc ever again says something about the soothing effect of commercials, I'm going to make him watch all 250 episodes with me!