Disclaimer: I don't own anything so if you see anything you recognize it's not mine. These include but are not limited to Twilight, the characters of Twilight, Chuck Norris, and the show Chuck Norris is in, ect.
Sunday afternoons are always boring but it has to be torture for vampires who have lived through thousands of them. When you repeat something over and over again it tends to get old and after awhile you'll just snap. The Cullens must have snapped awhile ago because on this particular Sunday I found myself wedged between Edward and Emmett watching Walker Texas Ranger. If that wasn't bad enough Emmett had taken it upon himself to randomly shout Chuck Norris jokes.
"If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris." Emmett said before laughing so hard he choked.
"Emmett what was the point of that?" Jasper asked clearly annoyed.
"I was bored and it was funny!"
"No it really wasn't. Why are we even watching this show?" Edward sighed.
"I asked that ten minutes ago and you said because there was nothing else to do." I yawned.
"There has to be something. Anything would be better then listening to Emmett." Alice was trying to read some fashion magazine but apparently it wasn't interesting enough.
"Hey guys I got another one!"
"Emmett, No!" We all shouted in unison. Even with our protests and death threats he went on.
"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding!" With that Alice flung her tiny body across the room and tackled Emmett while screaming a few choice words. Emmett was yelling for help as Alice assaulted him with her rolled up magazine and we could have helped at any moment. But it was amusing and we were bored so the beating went on as we all watched with silly grins on our faces.
When they rolled into an end table and knocked over a crystal vase everything came to a screeching halt. Nobody breathed; even me the only one in the room who really needed to. We were waiting. We knew it was coming. Esme poked her head out of the kitchen.
"What was that?" The phrase if looks could kill came to mind as everyone quickly pointed fingers. The end result was Emmett pointing at Alice. Alice pointing at me. I was pointing at Jasper. Jasper to Edward and Edward was pointing back to Emmett. Esme just glared and we ran. Well the vampires ran and only after realizing he had left me behind did Edward come rescue me. He threw me on to his back and took off soon passing his fleeing siblings.
The wind whipped through my hair as we ran into the forest. Nobody was paying attention to where we were going because we were concentrating on getting away from a murderous Esme. She had chased us out of the house swearing to seek her revenge and nobody doubted her. Esme could be terrifying when provoked and was very protective of her house. Emmett fired off a string of profanities as he was hit by a flying stick. Esme had great aim.
It took awhile but we managed to lose Esme and stopped to take a break and hide. Edward had led us all to the meadow. So much for it being our secret. Well at least we weren't bored anymore.
Emmett sighed one of those big overdone dramatic sighs but we all ignored him. So he sighed again. And again and again and again until Jasper snapped.
"What is it Emmett!"
"I'm bored." Well that didn't last long.
"Well think of something to do." Edward told him as he pulled me onto his lap and began kissing my neck.
"Hmm…good idea Eddie." Emmett said while Edward growled at being called Eddie. "We could play duck, duck, waffle."
"Emmett, its called duck, duck, goose and it's played by five year olds." I corrected him. There was no way I was running in a circle. Everyone else seemed to agree.
"We could go shopping!" Alice exclaimed.
"No!" We all shouted. Alice looked sad and began to pout.
"Okay, I got it!" Emmett jumped up and looked excited which was never a good sign. "We could rob a bank!"
We all stared at Emmett totally dumbstruck. We knew Emmett wasn't the brightest crayon on the box but really robbing a bank!
"Emmett you aren't allowed to talk anymore." Alice stated.
"We could always race the cars." Edward murmured. I glared at him and he gave me his adorable puppy dog face. There was no way he could get me in that car. Edward's driving was terrifying enough with the speeds he drove normally let alone racing! I could feel my heart giving out just thinking about it. Yet as I looked around at the faces of the other Cullens I knew I had already lost.
"No!" I shouted. "No! No! No! No!"
Alice just grinned at me. As did Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. Oh Crap.
"How about we vote." Yes! I love Edward at least now I had a chance at living.
"Yea but you have to be over 35 to vote." Alice killed my happy. That singled me out so it was up to the lovely vampires.
Guess what we were doing. Yep. We were all getting ready to go get the cars when all the vampires froze.
"What is it?" I whispered.
"Someone is watching us. We heard a branch snap." As soon as the words left Edward's mouth Esme jumped into the clearing. She looked rabid and murderous. Esme was starting to scare me which was a first coming from her.
"I am going to kill you guys." She hissed.
"We're already dea…" Emmett was cut off as he was hit yet again by a flying stick. Esme: 2 Emmett: 0. She started to advance and Edward grabbed me as everyone dashed once again into the forest. At least we wouldn't be racing the cars. As we ran for our lives I made a mental note: Never let the Cullens become bored.
A/N: Sorry for any mistakes you came across while reading. This was just an exercise to get rid of writers block hope you enjoy.