Last Cigarette
All the women I know say
They'd kill to be me
To spend days living life
With no ties, no morals, no feelings-
("You should try to care about someone
You'll feel better if you do"
But I feel like my heart's been ripped out)-
What they don't know is
When you let yourself feel
After too much 'not feeling'
And you spend your days
Hoping to be with someone
Forever, forever,
And it all goes out
Like the end of your last lit
Cigarette-
Nothing ever feels quite
The same.
And then you're left with
A cloud of smoke,
A cough, a drink,
And yourself
And you'd give up yourself
To be with them
Except they can't see your future…
So you take out your lighter
And walk alone, alone in what's left-
The memory of smoking
The left over smell and
The melody of the time you finally
Gave away your heart-
And even though you wanna change it
It's a melody you can't forget
And like that last cigarette
Would do anything to have back.