we never asked for this
SUMMARY: "Make a contract with me. Become a magical girl." And out of all the words to ever come out of Levi's mouth, those were the ones that Jean was expecting least.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: written at like, 3am in the morning
EDIT (16/12/13): someone said i should put this in the crossover section and i totally agree. i sorta published this during the wee hours of the morning so i wasn't really thinking.
DISCLAIMER: don't own.
Jean supposes it all starts when he defends Armin from the bullies that usually plague the courtyard just between the school's back door and the dumpster. Later, when he's called into the principal's office, cradling his bloody nose with one hand and Armin's sweaty palm in the other, he wonders how it's going to end.
"Don't suppose I'm going to congratulate you for this," says Levi. He's the vice-principal, standing in for Erwin Smith while the latter is off on his annual mysterious vacation overseas. Jean assumes he needs the getaway; he would too if he had to work with Levi everyday. "You nearly broke someone's nose." At Jean's hrrmph of indignation, Levi lazily glances at the boy. "Oh, was that you? Okay, nevermind then."
"I couldn't just stand there," he chokes out, the metallic tang of blood thick on his tongue. He swallows, feeling it ooze down the back of his throat and he instinctively shudders. He remembers Marco, the kind boy with the bright smile, hospitalized because Jean couldn't muster the courage to save him. He won't let that happen to anyone else.
"I guess you think of yourself as some crusader of justice, then." Levi stares out the window, looking oddly tall for a second. Then again, there are rumours circulating that he has platforms in his shoes, so Jean can't really say he's all that surprised. "Do you enjoy it?"
Jean shrugs and presses the tissue to his nose, feeling the stream of blood trickling down once more. "No," he manages to say. "I'm not a crusader of justice. I'm just helping my friend."
Levi narrows his eyes, looking over at Jean contemplatively. "You'd do well, I suppose. Not as well as her, but then again, few are."
"What?"
"Make a contract with me. Become a magical girl." And out of all the words to ever come out of Levi's mouth, those were the ones that Jean was expecting least.
"A what?"
"I guess I can't really call them 'magical girls', can I," Levi murmurs, stroking his chin. "I need a more gender-neutral term."
"Magical people?"
Levi looks at Jean as if he's crazy. "We call you Guardians. You make a contract with me and you can get special powers. That sound good to you?"
"If you were writing a book, maybe." Jean leans back in his chair, feeling the ache in his muscles start to catch up with him. "Can I go now? No offense, sir, but I don't really want to listen to your novel ideas. They're not very original."
Levi glares, but shoos Jean away all the same. "Just so you know, you have detention with me after school today."
"Thanks for earlier." Armin clamps a hand on Jean's shoulder. "And sorry about the," he gestures to the whole of Jean's face, "everything."
"Thanks, Armin," replied Jean, deadpan. "Glad to know you think my face needs apologizing for."
Armin blinks, flustered.
"I know you didn't mean it that way," says Jean, collecting his pens and throwing them into his bag, confident that he'll probably lose them in the abyss that is the high school student's backpack. He's positive he's lost at least seven or eight since the beginning of term started.
"Armin."
The two look up, and Jean finds his breath caught in his throat. Mikasa Ackerman, in all her glory, is actually standing near him for once and not looking like she wants to punch his lights out. The red scarf around her neck is rather mangy looking, though Jean won't be the one to tell her unless he wants a death wish. It's also a clear violation of the school uniform, but since she's a favourite of Levi, nobody really says anything.
"Are you ready to go?" Armin asks, shouldering his backpack.
"I have detention today," she says, twirling a slim finger around the fringe of the scarf. "You'll have to go without me."
"Detention?" Jean realizes it's him speaking and feels an odd combination of both regret and excitement when Mikasa locks eyes with him.
"Yes," she says. "Apparently I'm not allowed to eat lunch on the roof."
"I didn't know that was a rule," says Jean.
And Mikasa just stares at him with solemn grey eyes, hoisting her bag higher up on her shoulder. "Neither did I."
A shuffling from Jean's left side catches his attention and he turns his head to see Armin all packed and ready to go. "Do you want me to wait for you?" He asks Mikasa, who shakes her head vehemently.
"I'll walk back on my own. You don't mind walking with Jean, do you?" Armin eyes the duo who both shift slightly uncomfortably. "He has detention with Levi, too."
"I don't mind," says Mikasa. "I'll see you later, Armin."
It's only four-thirty and the school is already completely empty. Even the fields outside are devoid of students. Jean cranes his neck to look at his companion who never seems to look down when she walks, as if she can anticipate any potential obstacles without the need to look at them.
He opens his mouth to speak, but Mikasa beats him to it. "I suppose Levi told you about us," she says.
"Us?" Images of student-teacher relations cross his mind, and for an instant, he feels a wave of disgust and envy.
Mikasa stops in the middle of the hall, prompting Jean to do the same. "Did you make a contract with him?" She asks, her voice low and almost dangerous.
"N-no," Jean replies. "What are you even talking about?"
Mikasa begins to slowly unwind the scarf from around her neck and Jean catches a glimmer of silver and sparkle of ruby red. It's a necklace, the pendant of which flashes deep vermillion, a colour that reminds Jean of blood. "Becoming a Guardian." Lifting her head up, she seems to sniff the air. "There's a titan here."
Jean wonders if there's a camera crew hiding somewhere and when they'll pop out to tell him that Mikasa Ackerman actually hates his guts and is just playing a prank on him for laughs.
"Are you coming?"
As if Jean can say no to that.
Following her through the halls, they arrive at a black door that Jean can never really say he's noticed before. The handle, he supposes, was once silver, but has rusted over. Without any hesitation, Mikasa pulls it and ushers him into what seems like never-ending darkness inside. Strangely though, Jean doesn't seem to be falling.
"What is this?"
Mikasa shushes him and reaching one hand around her pendant, squeezes it. It shatters with a soft crack that even Jean can hear and for a moment, he wants to ask her what prompted that. Light surrounds Mikasa and when it clears, she's clad in a red outfit. A maroon corset encircles her torso, the ends of which appear to be attached to a fluffy skirt that reaches mid-knee. Her school-approved schools have disappeared, only to have been replaced by tall boots. "Let's go."
Jean just stares open-mouthed, until he realizes where he is.
They walk for a while until they reach a second door, which Jean stretches out his hand toward.
Mikasa grabs him by the wrist. "Don't." She reaches two hands behind her back, to sheaths that Jean hasn't noticed before, and pulls out two swords, which despite the lack of light, seem to gleam cruelly. With a swing of her arms, she brings them down on the door, slashing it in two. The halves float to the ground as if they were made of paper, and dissolve. "The titan is inside."
For the first time, Jean feels hesitant to follow Mikasa blindly. There's something on the other side of the door, something dangerous that he's not sure he's ready to see. "I don't think I should be here."
"Levi thinks you're ready."
"I never said I wanted to become a Guardian," argues Jean. "I don't even know what you're doing here or even if this is all real."
Then, Mikasa kisses him. To be truthful, it's nothing like the scenarios that Jean has imagined before. There's no swelling violin in the background, no lazy sun dipping into the sparkling horizon, and Jean's wearing his school uniform of all things, but it's somehow far better than any false imagining he could conjure. When she pulls away, Jean touches his fingers to his lips, partially embarrassed, but mostly in awe.
"Was that real enough for you?" Mikasa looks as stoic as ever, but the pink blush painted across her cheeks says otherwise.
"Don't be so disgusting," echoes a new voice and Jean, still riding the high of the kiss, doesn't register the familiarity of it until later.
"Annie." Mikasa nods in acknowledgement to the other girl, but gives no other indication that they're comrades. "You're late."
Annie shrugs. Like Mikasa, she's wearing an odd outfit, but hers is a silvery blue. It's a dress, vest-like in appearance, with the cloth opening like a "V" from the waist down. Darker blue shorts encircle her hips while her feet are clad in ballet shoes, the ribbons of which entwine up her legs.
"Where's the titan?" Annie asks, as she leans on an enormous crossbow far too large for the ordinary human to wield.
"Up ahead," replies Mikasa, allowing Annie to follow her and Jean. "Stay back," she warns the latter, "it's going to be dangerous here and Levi will have my head if I get you killed on your first mission."
"Newbies." Annie nearly spits the word with derision. "Don't get in our way."
Jean accompanies the two as they proceed through the darkness. Though he can't see so much as two feet in front of him, he's confident that Mikasa is leading him to the right place.
And then he smells it.
He almost gags at first. It stinks of rotting meat; a putrid stench that wiggles its way into his nostrils and imprints itself in his brain. "What the hell is that?" He chokes out.
"A titan," says Annie. "We're just in time, too."
They turn a corner and Jean sees the monstrosity for the first time. It resembles a human, but vaguely. Its proportions are completely off and the vacant expression on its face reminds Jean of the asylum patients he's seen in numerous horror movies.
Mikasa lowers the blades; the moment the tips touch the ground, they seem to flop and extend. The swords have turned into snake-like blades. Each section of the sharpened metal is attached by a thin chain ideal for whipping and slicing.
Annie lifts the crossbow and takes aim. "Shall i?"
Mikasa nods, and Annie fires. It's only a single shining arrow that's released, but it immediately multiples into several projectiles that appear to have the texture and consistency of diamond. Mikasa pushes herself off from the ground, moving with the sort of speed that seems to come naturally to her. As she approaches the beast, her blades vibrate and lash out ferociously.
The fight is over in just a couple of minutes and Jean is sure that if he blinked, he would have missed most of it. Between Annie's perfect aim and Mikasa's skill, the titan is quickly beheaded, its body evaporating almost instantly. A white gem is left where the head once lay and Annie goes over to pick it up.
"You can have it," says Mikasa, retracting her weapon. "I took the last one."
Annie nods and pockets the stone. "Thanks," she says, and Jean is surprised to hear the sincerity in her voice. "That was Reiner, wasn't it." Her voice is low this time and peppered with something that Jean thinks is fear.
Mikasa tenses her jaw before nodding, her eyes straying to Jean.
"What's going to happen to us if we—"
"It won't happen," Mikasa cuts in. "Not if we're careful."
Annie heaves a sigh and turns to Jean. "You still want to become a Guardian?" She leans on her crossbow, the weapon leaning slightly toward Jean in a way that he's sure is deliberate.
"I don't know," he replies honestly. "I think I'll have to hang around Mikasa more to find out."
Annie's eyes narrow at him. Kicking the bottom of her crossbow, she flings it up in the air and catches it with one hand. Resting it across her shoulders, she walks off.
"Did I say something wrong?"
Mikasa shakes her head. "Annie's like that," she says. "But, are you still interested in becoming a Guardian? Do you know what you want to wish for?"
Jean shakes his head. It's the first, but not the last time he'll lie to Mikasa.
Jean follows the two girls around for the next week, accompanying them to each of their fights, but making sure to stay out of the way. He's amazed by their level of skill and their ability to seamlessly work together without even having to communicate. They take down titan after titan, but each time, their fights last a little longer and they appear to be just a little more exhausted.
"It's your turn," says Annie, panting slightly after an incredibly taxing fight.
Mikasa picks up the white gem and touches it to the red gemstone on the palm of her hand, now a light pink. As the two stones make contact, the ruby grows darker, returning to its original colour. Mikasa heaves a sigh of relief. "We need these titan stones," she explains to Jean. "After we use our powers too much, our own stones lighten so we need the titan stones to restore them back to normal."
"It'd be nice to get some more help around here," chimes in Annie. "I always get so tired after these fights."
If only Jean had known those words were foreshadowing.
The next day, he sees Annie and Armin talking in furtive whispers and when he approaches them, they back away. He swears he sees a hint of yellow at Armin's neck, but chalks it up to a trick of the light. He attempts to question Armin but every time the other boy sees him, he immediately turns the other way.
"Mikasa," he grabs the girl by the shoulder later that day, "can I talk to you?"
She nods, curling a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah?"
"Did Armin become a Guardian?" He asks the question that's been plaguing him for the entire day. "Did he make a contract with Levi?"
Mikasa freezes. "Unless you're a Guardian, I can't disclose that information."
"Then, tell me as my friend," insists Jean. "Did Armin make a contract with Levi?"
Mikasa looks pointedly at the wall behind him. Jean realizes they haven't really talked much since they kissed, despite seeing each other practically every day. Annie's always preventing Jean from speaking with Mikasa privately. "Meet us after school, usual time, usual place."
Jean prepares himself for the worst and sure enough, when he sees Annie and Mikasa standing by the back entrance to the gymnasium, Armin is there too. "Sorry I didn't tell you," he apologizes. "I wasn't sure if I was allowed to."
Jean accepts his apology, but takes every opportunity to glare daggers at Annie, who just returns the favour. He's sure she hates him and is responsible for driving the wedge between him and Mikasa.
When the three transform, Armin is cloaked in dark golden robes not unlike that of a wizard. His weapon of choice is a thick tome, a grimoire, its cover beaten leather and tarnished gold. The gem is the same shade as his robes, but located in the hollow of his neck, sparkling beneath the silken cloth.
This titan is the largest that Jean has ever seen and it's only because of Armin that they're able to defeat it. At the end, Annie looks like she wants to throw up and Jean is shocked to see tears running down her face.
"That was—"
"I know," cuts in Mikasa.
Armin looks curiously between the two.
"You should take the gem," offers Mikasa to Armin, who refuses it.
"I think Annie should," he says. "She's the one who finally put the titan down."
Annie very nearly shoots an arrow through Armin at those words, but a glare from Mikasa stops her. "Take it, Annie," she says. "Don't lose yourself."
Jean tries to talk to Mikasa, but she waves him away.
He's pretty sure he knows what he wants to wish for.
"I want you to make Mikasa fall in love with me."
Levi raises an eyebrow and sips from his thermos. He reeks of smoke and Jean is sure that there's something besides tea in his cup. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Jean's given it a lot of thought and there's really nothing else he wants.
Levi takes another draught from the thermos and puts it down. Tenting his hands, he leans his chin on them and stares at Jean from across the table. "You can't take a wish back once you've made it. It's final."
"I know. Are you going to make the contract or not?"
The first time Jean fights as an official guardian, he nearly gets himself killed. He's too cocky, too eager to show off his new skills to Mikasa, show that he's learned from her and that he's been watching her.
It doesn't matter anyways, because she's in love with him now.
Jean isn't sure what he enjoys more. Is it the power that comes with being a Guardian or is it the shy smile that Mikasa shoots him every math class before lunch, when she drags him into the supply closet? Although there's one thing that Jean does know and it's that he's not very powerful at all. Mikasa is in a class of her own, but even in comparison to Armin—who only has a single fight's worth of experience over him—Jean is incredibly weak.
Annie once told him that their strength was a result of the wish they made and Jean wonders if the dark intentions behind his wish are the reasons for his weakness.
He doesn't really care though.
Some part of Jean—a very tiny part of him—wishes that he could have done something to save Annie, despite their mutual dislike of each other. He hates the girl, but wouldn't ever wish her dead.
It's after an incredibly taxing fight when it happens. This particular titan was ape-like with long arms and incredibly quick regenerative abilities. It feels like hours before they finally manage to behead it and when it's done, Annie is sitting on the ground, head sandwiched between her knees. Her own gemstone—silvery blue and embedded onto her right shoulder—is practically a clear white. Then, she starts to shake.
"Annie?" Mikasa tentatively asks the girl.
She doesn't respond. Her head tilts back and when her face is revealed, Mikasa takes a step back. Her eyes are dead-looking and overflowing with tears. Fissures erupt into her gem, tiny cracks that splinter the surface until it breaks entirely, white smoke pouring out of the cracked gem and surrounding the girl.
When the smoke is cleared, Annie is gone, but in her place is a titan.
Jean turns to Mikasa, but the girl's face has gone dark. "Mikasa?" He asks her, gripping the handle of his orange rifle—a colour he'd previously deemed ridiculous until it's become his signature.
"Don't think of it as Annie," she says to the two boys. "It's another titan."
"I knew it," Armin mutters from beside Jean, his voice cracking on the last word. "I knew it, I knew it. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have made that contract."
"Eren did it," says Mikasa, mentioning the name of her brother for the first time in years. "He never regretted it once and I don't think Annie did either."
"Eren?" Jean barely remembers the boy, a vague face in a sea of people.
Mikasa ignores him. "It's just another titan."
"You lied to me."
Levi looks up from the papers on his desk. "Who let you in?" Petra from the front office turns around and waves at him merrily. Levi half-heartedly waves back before freezing Jean with another one of his death glares. "What do you want?"
"You lied to me," repeats Jean. "You never told me that Guardians become titans. Does that mean we've been fighting other Guardians this entire time?"
"Not all titans are Guardians. Some titans are born of human greed and other negative emotions. But, yes all Guardians do eventually become titans. It's only a matter of time, really."
"Annie became a titan."
"I know. I wasn't expecting her to shift so quickly. It's a good thing you joined when you did."
Bit by bit, Jean begins to connect the dots. "You got Armin to make a contract too. It was literally the day before I made mine."
Levi nods.
"Are you preparing for something?"
"You're smarter than you look," says Levi. Jean bristles at the implication, but chooses wisely not to interrupt. "Did any of them ever tell you that your strength as a Guardian is determined by the wish you made?"
"Annie told me."
"Do you know what wish Mikasa Ackerman made?"
Jean shakes his head. "Did she wish to bring back someone from the dead or something?"
"We can't resurrect people. No, Mikasa wished for the ability to protect everyone she loved. Before Mikasa became a Guardian, her foster brother Eren, was one. His wish was to become powerful, so he was quick to shift. Mikasa had become a Guardian shortly after Eren, so when that happened, she was forced to be the one to put him down."
"She wished to protect everyone?"
"Only people that she loved." Levi organizes a stack of files on his desks. "For every one person she feels the need to protect, her strength grows and she has to use more power. And you know what happens when you use more power."
"Your gem turns clear?"
"Exactly. When Mikasa Ackerman became a Guardian, we suspected this might happen, but her raw potential was too great to give up. We took the necessary precautions, ensuring that she would be left alone, but not too alone, otherwise her strength would be wasted."
"You treated her like a lab rat," says Jean, putting the pieces together. "You didn't care for her one bit."
"Clearly, you don't either," retorts Levi. "But when Mikasa shifts—not if, but when because she will, and she will soon—it will mean the end of this world."
Mikasa's gem has been growing lighter. Originally ruby, it's now the colour of pale roses in springtime and it's an odd hue to associate with death and destruction.
Jean offers her the white gems they get from titans, but she refuses every single one.
"In three days," Armin estimates. "That's how much longer I give her." Unlike Jean, he's figured out everything on his own. "Three days."
It's the first time Armin has ever been wrong.
It only takes two days.
Every Guardian in the country arrives to come to their aid and nearly every single one of them is killed. The bodies are numerous, strewn over wreckages of buildings and floating face down in the river dividing the city in two.
Armin is one of the last to fall.
"This is my fault," Jean clutches at his friend's hands, willing him to live. "My wish to become a Guardian was for Mikasa to fall in love with me. If I didn't force her to protect one more person, maybe none of this would have had to happen."
Armin shakes his head, blinking the blood trickling from the wound on his head out of his eyes. "You can't make a wish like that. Annie told me that Levi can't manipulate someone else's feelings. You must have made another wish."
Jean feels the air leave him in a single swoop. "I did wish for that. She fell in love with me."
Armin smiles. "She must have truly loved you, then."
"That's impossible."
"Do you think you're the first person to wish for Mikasa Ackerman to fall in love with you? You don't think Annie Leonhardt would have wanted the same thing?" Armin's voice grows fainter with every words, his breathing more and more laboured.
"Armin, please don't go."
"You have to be the one to end this, Jean. She loved you."
"Armin…"
Armin dies in an alleyway behind the crumbling skeleton of a ruined building, one of the many faceless Guardians to fall.
"I guess you know everything now."
Jean hates that voice more than anything. "You keep lying to me," he says shakily.
"This was a good lie, though. Mikasa fell in love with you on her own terms."
Jean can hear the city being destroyed outside, what's left of Mikasa taking lives and bringing about the apocalypse. "If that wasn't my wish, then what was it?"
"I never granted you one. Seeing as the world's about to end, I figured I'd come here to do it now."
Jean barely needs time to think. "I want a fresh start."
Levi blinks, taken aback. "A what?"
"A fresh start!" Jean insists. "Take me back before all of this happened. I want a fresh start. I'll make sure to do everything the right way. Take me back before Mikasa became a Guardian."
"Are you sure you want to do that?" For the first time, Levi looks concerned. "She won't have any memory of you."
"I'm positive."
Levi turns to empty space beside him. "Should we let him?"
Suddenly, a man appears out of thin air. He's tall, blonde and vaguely familiar. "We should," he says, and Jean instantly recognizes that voice as belonging to Erwin Smith, the principal of his school. He smiles at Jean. "Good choice, Jean."
"Are you sure you can fix things?" Levi asks, having to yell over the noise. Mikasa—or what's left of her—is coming closer.
"I'm sure!" Jean yells back.
Levi nods to Erwin, prompting the man to say something Jean doesn't quite hear, and when he snaps his fingers, Jean feels a change in the air pressure. His ears pop and his vision goes completely white, drowning out the chaos of his surroundings.
He wakes up in a park, head throbbing like crazy.
"Are you alright?" A friendly voice asks him. "Jean, how many fingers am I holding up?"
Jean opens his eyes and when he sees the person in front of him, he smiles for what feels like the first time in forever. "I can see just perfectly, Marco."