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Make Me Believe

-Tupelo Honey

Tell me that there's more,
Tell me who're worth fighting for,
You are.
Everything I know,
Everything that mattered,
You can make this easy,
Believe me.

At the perfect moment,
Just say that everything will be alright

Make me believe,
Lie if you have to,
Stay here forever,
Tell this won't end.
Make Me believe,
Know that I need you,
don't leave me alone here.
This doesn't have to end,
This doesn't have to end

For what it's worth, I tried,
For what it's worth, it mattered to me,
You can't be replaced,
You're not just another face,
You can make this easy,
Believe me.

At the perfect moment,
Just say that everything will be alright.

Make me believe,
Lie if you have to,
Stay here forever,
Tell this won't end.
Make Me believe,
Know that I need you,
don't leave me alone here.
This doesn't have to end,
This doesn't have to end

Waiting, frustrating,
But I can't let you go,
I just need you to know,

Waiting, I'm breaking down
But I can't let you go,
I just need you to know.

For what it's worth, I tried,
For what it's worth, it mattered to me...

Make me believe,
Lie if you have to,
Stay here forever,
Tell this won't end.
Make Me believe,
Know that I need you,
don't leave me alone here.
This doesn't have to end,
This doesn't have to end,
This doesn't have to end,

Make me believe,
Lie if you have to,
Stay here forever,
Tell me this won't end.

Chapter 1

"I can't do it anymore. I can't."

"Well neither can I."

Alone. My own personal mantra. I started alone and I will end up alone. I trusted him. He lied. I took him back, he broke my heart. He made promises and now it's all gone. All the promises and all the lies. They're all gone and now I'm left alone. So much for getting ready.

"Another shot, Joe."

Jose is a good man. The only one who's ever been there for me. Derek doesn't know what he's talking about. I do know how to trust. I trust Jose. I trust that he will never leave me. I trust Jose to be there day in and day out, keeping me company in my misery.

"Grey, don't you think you've had enough."

"Leave me alone Mark. Me and Jose are having some us time."

"That's enough Grey. I'm taking you home."

"No thank you Mark. I'm staying right here. Just me and Jose. There's a nurse over there waiting for you though."

"Not tonight. Let's go."
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"So what did my ass of a best friend do now?" Mark asks as he drives me home.

"What does it matter? He said things, big things, and now he's off kissing Rose. And I'm with Jose. But you took him away," I frowned.

"And you really think Jose will help you get over Derek?"

"Absolutely," I say without a doubt through my intoxicated haze. "You know, Markie, I'm a free woman now. I can prove to you that Jose helps. Right here, in your car."

"No thanks, Grey. I don't need Shep kicking my ass. And you're drunk."

"But Mark..." I whined.

"We both know you're going to regret it in the morning. Now, I'm going to carry you in and help you to bed. You're going to have a hell of a hangover in the morning," he says as we pull up to my driveway.

"You're no fun."

"I'm fun. I'm tons of fun," he frowned.

"So then you're saying I'm undesirable."

"Grey, you and I both know it's not true. You're drunk. You'll regret it tomorrow. And you really don't want to. You love Derek. You still do. No matter how much he's hurt you. Now let's go."

So here I am in Mark's arms as he brings me up to my bed. It had been a long day. One that I hope to forget when my hungover ass wakes up in the morning. Thank God I have the day off tomorrow. The last thing I need right now is to see Derek with his nurse.

"What the hell happened to her?" Cristina asks as we enter the house.

"Two words: Derek Shepherd." I hear Mark say. "I'm going to take her to her room. Which one is it?"

"Last door on the left. And tell your best friend to get his will ready for when I see him."

"I'm on it, Yang," Mark chuckled as he continued up the stairs and into my room.

"You sure you don't want me to pay you back for taking you away from your nurse?" I ask as my head hits my pillow.

Mark laughs at my drunken form, "Sleep it off Grey. Night."

"Night, Derek. Love you."
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I woke up the next day with the mother of all hangovers. Unfortunately, the remembrance of the day before still lingered in my memory. So as I hug the porcelain god with Cristina by my side telling me how she will castrate Derek and make him pay for this, I can't help but think that maybe Mark was right. Jose is not the guy who will help me get through this. Maybe no guy will except Derek. But who was I to not even try?

"…I won't even make it try to look like an accident."

"Cristina, can you please stop."

"What, Mer? The guy just stomped on you all over again and you don't want to hear my plans for him?"

"Yes. I don't really need you reminding me of what an ass Derek is. This shiny white thing in front of me is doing a fine job of reminding me," I reply as I yet again leaned over to puke my guts out. Well, whatever was left of it at this point.

"Fine. But you know, you can't keep doing this every time he does something."

"Tell me something I don't already know. I think I'm good. Pass me the aspirin," I say as I was my mouth.

"Here. So what's the plan?" she asks.

"I don't know. All I know is I've got to keep trying to get ready. And before you say it, not for Derek. I've got to get better for me. If there was one thing Jose helped me out with, it's to realize that he's not very helpful in the morning."

"But he's oh so good at night," she smirked.

"That's beside the point. Now help me look through this psych crap and figure out why the hell I can't make a single relationship work," I told her as we walk into my room.

"Jose makes you bossy."

So here we are in my room working through my issues. The daddy, the mommy, the sisters, the ex-boyfriend, and everything else. I have to get ready. Screw Derek. It's his loss. I have to do this for me. And it's about damn time I realize that.